Robot Chicken Season 1 Episode 1 Junk In The Trunk
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00:00It's in life!
00:30My name is George W. Bush, and I approve this message.
00:41Tacos rule.
00:47This is your brain, and this is heroin.
00:52This is what happens to your brain on heroin.
01:00And this is what your body goes through, but it's not over yet.
01:04This is what happens to your grades, to your friends, to all your stuff.
01:09This is what happens to the profits from your grandma's bake sale.
01:12This is what happens to the world economy, and your boyfriend gives you herpes simplex A.
01:18And you end up getting a stupid tattoo of a unicorn on your left cheek that was supposed to be a bitchin' firebird,
01:27but you were too strung out to notice at the time.
01:42We just want to help.
01:45This is what happens to family values.
01:48This is what happens to the pollen count.
01:51Any questions?
01:53Any questions?
01:57This is the spot!
02:03The Decepticons are using the damn below to stockpile Energon cubes!
02:10Megatron must be stopped!
02:13Autobots, transform and ro-
02:16Hold on a second.
02:18Are you okay?
02:33Let's get him!
02:34Megatron was defeated with only 50 humans killed in the crossfire!
02:55A new record!
02:57Hooray!
03:02Hey, Prowl!
03:04Have you noticed how often Prime needs to drain the lizard nowadays?
03:08Yeah.
03:09He must be French because he's a peeing!
03:13I think that joke goes,
03:16you're a peeing!
03:17Ha ha!
03:18But I'm not!
03:21Ugh, such a retarded con.
03:27Uh-oh.
03:28I didn't think going to the bathroom so often was a problem.
03:33But just today, I saw blood in my urine!
03:36Ewww. Well, I'd better have a look.
03:42Ow!
03:46Using the whole fist, Doc?
03:49It's what I feared.
03:51Prostate cancer.
03:53And it's advanced.
03:54I'm sorry, Prime, but you're going to die.
04:06Ewww.
04:26Ewww!
04:28Ewww!
04:30Hi, I'm Optimus Prime.
04:39What you've just seen was a dramatization of what you, your friends, and your family go through if you don't get regular prostate exams.
04:50Now, we Transformers don't have organic internal organs and can't get cancer, but you do.
05:00And you can.
05:03So get your ass checked out before it's too late, turkeys!
05:06This has been a message from the Cybertronia Medical Association.
05:09Reality TV has never been this honest, this brutal!
05:16Coming soon, it's the world's most one-sided fistfights caught on film!
05:23Television too brutal to watch, yet you can't turn away!
05:30Thursdays at 8 p.m. It's the world's most one-sided fistfights caught on film!
05:51All right guys, I'll see you back in the yard.
05:55Hey, what the-
05:56Call a card?
06:02It, uh, it burns when I pee.
06:05What did I just tell you?
06:07This new tax appropriations bill will result in a...
06:12My name is Tiffany McNamary from Clifton, New Jersey, and I think Senator Davidson rocks!
06:17My name is Natalie Fratella from Danbury, Connecticut, and I think legislation and kind of infrastructure funds 4% in the upcoming fiscal year rules.
06:27Woo! Danbury, hi, buddy. Tigers forever. Woo-hoo!
06:31Yo, coming straight at you, we got an executive session to consider the nominations of three U.S. district judges, y'all.
06:40Then later on, the procedural oversight committee is holding a public hearing that'll be all up in your grill.
06:47But first, here's the results of our internet poll, where you get to decide the next speaker.
06:54And the winner is...
06:55Oh-ho-ho, Byron L. Dorgan.
06:58Oh, yeah!
07:02As a representative.
07:04I'm so hungry.
07:06Hi, Mr. Hungry. Can I call you so?
07:10And if you can...
07:11Is everyone ready for more of those hilarious bloopers?
07:20You know, being a TV reporter isn't all fires and double homicides.
07:26When you can't get your lines right, sometimes the biggest story is you!
07:32There's nothing like some tasty bamboo, especially when you're Ling Ling,
07:36who's traveled all the way from China to visit, um...
07:40Uh...
07:42I'm sorry. I just don't feel safe next to this animal.
07:45It's completely harmless, Jerry.
07:48Are you sure?
07:49It's just...
07:50All right, all right.
07:52Still rolling.
07:53There's nothing like a nice piece of bamboo, uh, when...
07:57Crap.
07:58Stop being such a wuss.
07:59I-I-I-I-I just...
08:01I-I-it...
08:02F-f-fine.
08:03Fine.
08:03Rolling.
08:04There's, uh, nothing like a nice piece of bamboo, especially when...
08:09You just can't trust the Chinese.
08:15There certainly weren't any Chinese in Hazard County,
08:18but Bo and Luke had problems of their own!
08:22Parker.
08:22Sir?
08:25Wow.
08:34Ow!
08:36Ow!
08:36Ow!
08:38Oh!
08:46Yeah!
08:47Yeah!
08:49Wait, wait, John!
08:50I'm stuck!
08:51I'm stuck! I'm stuck!
08:54When David Duchovny announced he was leaving the X-Files,
08:58producers had to scramble to find a new male lead.
09:01Check out these never-before-seen screen tests.
09:05Keanu Reeves screen test, take one.
09:08So you're telling me we're dealing with a sort of missing link in the evolutionary chain?
09:12That's right, Scully. The scientific name for this beast would be
09:16Rhodonondus marsypius from the genus Impleocles.
09:20Mr. T screen test, take one.
09:24So you're telling me we're dealing with a sort of missing link-
09:28You damn right, Scully! Missing link between the bugs and the humans talking about bad for the kids.
09:34Don't pay me for no damage ever, fool!
09:37Corky screen test, take 27.
09:41So you're telling me we're dealing with a sort of missing link in the evolutionary chain?
09:50I just made a duty in my pants.
09:55You know, Superman had a movie serial as far back as 1948.
10:00But the actor playing him had his share of super problems.
10:05Help! Help me Superman! Help!
10:08This looks like a job for Superman!
10:16So do we keep going?
10:18Yeah? Okay.
10:19Uh, uh, uh, even Superman can't outrun, uh, a bully-
10:25Oh, my face! You hit me in the eye!
10:28Why did you double that?
10:29Hooray! You're saved!
10:31Up, up, up, and away!
10:38His lawyers called it heat exhaustion.
10:43Remember different strokes?
10:45We got our hands on some footage from that classic sitcom that's never been seen before.
10:50Someone's been a bad, bad boy.
10:52Ow!
10:53Ow!
10:54Ow!
10:55Bad, bad boy.
10:56Ow!
10:57Ow!
10:58Conrad Gary, you're on places, everyone!
11:01And action!
11:03Who wants ice cream?
11:05We do! We do!
11:06Here's a rare blooper from that smash hit cartoon, Pokemon.
11:11Game on!
11:12Pikachu!
11:13Pika-pika!
11:14Pika-pee!
11:15Squirtle!
11:16Squirtle!
11:17Squirtle!
11:18Squirtle!
11:19Squirtle!
11:20Pika-pika!
11:21Pikachu!
11:22Pika-pika!
11:23Squirtle!
11:24Squirtle!
11:25Squirtle!
11:26What the f*** am I saying?
11:28No, I mean it!
11:29This f*** makes no sense at all!
11:31Say the line, Earl, or you get the gas!
11:34For the love of Christ, kids!
11:36Go read a book or something!
11:38Next up is something I like to call bloopers in space!
12:01We're in big trouble, Starbuck.
12:04Stop right there, humans.
12:06The actors playing those nasty Cylons on Battlestar Galactica
12:11had all sorts of problems maneuvering in their bulky costumes.
12:16Just watch!
12:36Maka!
12:37Tsk!
12:40F***!
12:42F***er...
12:44F***er...
12:44Are you 11 seconds?
12:46F***er...
12:47A'F-M's sake?
12:49F***er...
12:50Do you know a fight?
12:51F***er...
12:52F***er...
12:53F***er...
12:54F***er...
12:55That's all the time we have today, but come back next week for more Outrage Just Bloopers!
13:25Outrage Just Bloopers
13:38Fuck.
13:42Stupid monkey!