- 8 months ago
Letterkenny Season 1 Episode 6 A Fuss In The Back Bush
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00:01Pack coyotes come right up the back porch of the night
00:04because your dog's in heat and you know all those fucking yellow-eyed bastards
00:07go right through the screen door if they're horny.
00:14Look like you go into a formal with that top button done up to 11 like that.
00:18Well, it's not like I'm going to be one of those nutsacks
00:20sitting around getting sucked on by skeeters all day.
00:23Come off it.
00:25Well, pitter-patter, let's get at her.
00:28Sixty bucks for dead coyote ain't going to collect itselfs.
00:33I think I'll have a bumper dump before we get started.
00:35I don't give a care.
00:37You ever had a bumper dump?
00:39It's not polite to talk about.
00:41Though I do got to piss a goddamn bad.
00:44When you have a dump,
00:46lean it up against the back of the bumper of your machine.
00:48Well, it's pertinere like it sounds then.
00:50You ever had a stump hump?
00:52You know, I think I did, but...
00:55I can't November.
00:57It's when you have sex.
00:58With a girl?
00:59Yeah, with a girl.
01:00Bent over stump of a tree.
01:04A friend said he had sex inside a hollowed out log one time,
01:07and I thought,
01:08well, I bet Fred Penner pulled that off one time too.
01:12It's right here.
01:13Perfect stump for a stump hump.
01:14I should say.
01:15Wayne.
01:16Derry.
01:17Come over here and join me for a sec.
01:19Oh, fuckin'...
01:20Like, fuckin' why?
01:21Doesn't appear somebody's been growing marijuana in your back bush.
01:22You left the barn door open after chores one time, and your dad thought you were stoned, but you haven't smoked the electric lettuce in your back bush.
01:38You left the barn door open after chores one time, and your dad thought you were stoned, but you haven't smoked the electric lettuce since grade eight.
01:51That's a mitt full of Johnny Red Eye, all right?
02:04I think it's only appropriate we call the cops.
02:07Just take a big 20% offer over there, mixed berry.
02:11Don't be such a sally.
02:13You know how much shit needs doing around here?
02:15Well, shit needs so much doing, really.
02:17The produce stand is a fuckin' shanty.
02:19If we sell this stuff, we can make thousands.
02:21I know a guy on the reserve.
02:23I don't know.
02:24Why not?
02:25It's cause I'm not...
02:26Just kidding.
02:27We don't give a fuck.
02:28If the cops come around here, people will talk.
02:31Don't want people talking.
02:33Call your guy.
02:34Hello, Dennis.
02:35You know the deal.
02:36Personal use only.
02:37I hear about you's turning around and selling them, and I will hear about it.
02:40We're gonna have a hell of a problem.
02:41Here's your smokes.
02:42Diamond dart.
02:43Diamond dart.
02:44Diamond dart.
02:45Diamond dart.
02:46Diamond dart.
02:47Fuck the dart.
02:48Gotcha.
02:49Fuck the dart.
02:50Fuck the dart.
02:51he's turning around and selling them and i will hear about it we're gonna have a hell of a problem
02:59here's your smokes diamond dart
03:07diamond tell her
03:07fucking dart fucking dart they're fucking yeah fucking dart
03:20they're fucking us
03:31i got some photos here of the goings-on
03:37you won't be upset if he keeps growing to the left dog you don't see some shit that you don't want to see
03:53this is a big crop whoever planted it has done a lot of sneaking around and maintaining it so well
03:59we're busy enough keeping the worm pickers off the property
04:07there's nothing like good outdoor grown it's 5k worth and ready for harvesting you pull it out of the
04:16ground i'll pick it up cash deal
04:29deal
04:38who's this that's tanis my daughter should say estranged i suppose
04:45what's so strange about her i'll tell you if you find yourselves in her way
04:49you ought to swiftly get out of it
04:54give me a minute
04:58so how about it boys you can always count on old kitty cat you delivered i'll give you that
05:06but what type of prick doesn't stand up to shake another man's hand
05:09what about tannis what about her
05:18i think i'm sweet on her oh yeah what for dairy
05:23but for uh dairy you don't need to explain she makes your dick hard get after her i'll worry about
05:30that later work on the produce stand starts today still waiting for you to say thank you
05:40being a d-gen with a drug dealer
05:48now if you ever hit me and i find out about it
05:55it's good josey no more kids tables and big boy moves like that huh
06:01you guys ready to play like big boys yet huh maybe pick out your own outfits in the morning
06:07make your own snacks some solo back-to-school shopping it's embarrassing
06:18good news is pwe secondary team just cancelled their ice time i think we can make good use of it
06:25huh suit up pheasants another hour of the fun stuff on deck might as well bring your puke buckets with you
06:32yeah
06:48hey smelt what's wrong with you
06:51nothing why
06:56are you fucked up right now me yes you are you on meth right now
07:03oh my god this is on stewart bro what do you got the fuck buddy if we don't
07:11fucking do it no one else is going to brian's on the wall bro hey give your balls a tug you
07:17not the right time shorzy how did this happen bro we don't know any dusters that do meth and now the
07:24fucking rookie
07:25well we do know stuart and devon and the old skids but that's it buddy
07:37you know i heard the ginger and boots used to do that shit
07:41and look where it got them smelt
07:45buddy roisey had a bad sin for a while now i think about it buddy
07:49but that's because roisey was hanging out with toolsy and that guy's a fucking pigeon buddy
07:53parsi too i guess belsey was fucked up for a while and he got wellesie into it yeah belsey and
07:59wellesie were doing it with carzy and his billet sister carzy and his billet sister got colsey
08:04fucked up once wait isn't colsey still fucked up bro only was with uh kitsy and berzy bro
08:09colsey's always with kitsy and berzy well colsey kitsy and berzy are always with carzy and his billet
08:14sister buddy who are always with belsey and wellesie better can he use a meth town
08:24we're gonna go see the skids we're gonna go we're gonna do it do you want to do it you want one
08:32let's do it give me one we're gonna have one give me it we're going let's go then let's go
08:41better by all the smokes
08:44what is this this is where i ruin your life hang on no no no no no you hang on all right
09:00you's ripped me off and i'm pissed but we can make this right as un pc as this market may be it's pretty
09:10lucrative so if you sell the rest of the cigarettes at a buck a dart we get 90 cents you get 10. deal
09:19deal no no deal i spent all our money at that rave you're gonna step on some toes in any business
09:29venture it's inevitable if we want to take this meth business to the next level we cannot part with any
09:34more corn are you with me always
09:42let's get this over with them you guys want to dance let's do this
09:55is that how you think this works you just take a beating and then we're square a bunch of basics
10:07you've been watching the wrong movies boys
10:15pay attention
10:19this isn't just about us anymore all right this is about everyone now
10:23your friends your families until we get paid they all suffer
10:29let's go
10:39let the burning of letter kenny begin
10:50gotta say fellas this is coming together nicely
11:01i might actually spend some time out here now with some clothes on not my forte unfortunate
11:08you brings us sustenance while we're hard at work katie and that's what i appreciates about you
11:15is that what you appreciate about me oh easy squirrely down thank you your sister's heart
11:20way there i said it i said it i regret nothing i regret nothing
11:36too fat to run
11:37fucking stupid fucking skills what the fuck is this kid i hate this kid
11:44fucking wreck this kid fucking kill this kid
11:48no no just kidding yeah we'll hurt him yeah no it's a metaphor yeah i get it yeah hey pretend
11:58we don't have a donny brook with him and his buddies buddy oh fuck we don't i mean we don't necessarily
12:03need to wait for them to get here to direct the meth lot buddy we can just fucking wreck it right
12:08now sure dibs aren't devin bro joan z i don't even want to discuss dibs right now but no discussion
12:15on dibs buddy we'll fucking get them all but oh yeah okay let's get them all let's do it buddy
12:20it's already trashed i'm not quite sure how i feel about this buddy a bit anti-climactic isn't it buddy
12:41i don't know what you're talking about this dude i don't know what you're talking about this dude
12:54i wonder who smashed up his place bro fucking long hair don't care bro we find the skids and we have
13:00that fucking donny brick buddy buckets off i can rip over there and just conflict fight injure kill
13:07oh ball up bang out buds bust on bust up download the scrap app hug nasty truculence perky a little
13:14squabble a little cribble smackdown sparse bad schism we are at this level but we need to get to this level
13:37so
13:44so
13:50Not a lot of weed.
14:17Sorry about what happened here.
14:20Know about the beef?
14:25What beef?
14:28Between your meth pals and my daughter.
14:31Two things.
14:32One, no one who does meth is a pal of mine, for fuck's sake.
14:36Two, what are you talking about?
14:38She was ripped off on a cigarette transaction by some fellas from Letterkenny.
14:44And then, if she's owed money by someone from your town, she's gonna make it everyone's problem.
14:55Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
15:03Hope this serves as some sort of consolation.
15:06Count it if you like.
15:11She won't stop, because she gets what's owed.
15:15If Tannis comes back to collect, she won't be short-staffed.
15:24Us neither.
15:27Fuckin' skids.
15:28Fuckin' skids.
15:29Fuckin' skids.
15:30Fuckin' skids.
15:31Fuckin' skids.
15:33Fuckin' skids.
15:34you
15:40this little soiree for us. hey, you must do better one of the Ag Hall last weekend.
15:44you should have come. you gave the rookie meth idiot first one's free. you fucking
15:51turn Letterkenny into a war zone. got us labels a meth town idiot. so what are you
15:56gonna do about it? idiot. fuck it's off. it's fucking go time. shut up. go me.
16:02Oh, fuck me, fuck you.
16:04We fuck nose jobs.
16:06Let's dance.
16:07Hit the D floor.
16:08My balls dangle harder than you.
16:10Yeah, sounds familiar.
16:11This is what we've been waiting for.
16:13Hey!
16:14It's time, of course.
16:15You got our money?
16:16Nay!
16:17We do not have, nor will we ever have, a dime for you.
16:21And you took away your only source of income when you trashed our meth lab.
16:26Yeah, we're all here.
16:28So, uh, let's go on that.
16:29Let's proceed.
16:30Power stop, Tannis.
16:32We got dibs on the Donnybrook with the skids.
16:35What's the dibs?
16:36Dibs is the dibs is the dibs.
16:38Hey, pipe down, shithead.
16:41You don't get it, do you?
16:43This is about the money.
16:45So, until we get the money, Letterkenny will continue to burn.
16:49All right?
16:50Oh, no.
16:53How are you now?
16:55Good, Neil.
16:59Deadly.
17:02What's that?
17:08The ginger and boots.
17:15Those two guys fucked an ostrich.
17:17Just the ginger fucked an ostrich.
17:23Allegedly.
17:24It would take, like, two people to fuck an ostrich, three even.
17:28It was a sick ostrich.
17:30Allegedly.
17:31You are fucking ruthless bringing a couple of dudes like that here.
17:35In his defense.
17:36That's usually not the type of prick I am.
17:38If they fucked an ostrich, what else have they fucked?
17:41Just the ginger fucked an ostrich.
17:44Allegedly.
17:44I ask again, if they fucked an ostrich, what else have they fucked?
17:50It's almost not worth thinking about.
17:51Okay, speak.
17:58Youse got ripped off.
18:00It's too bad that happened.
18:02And?
18:03And it's none of my business,
18:05till it was my business.
18:07Now, we could beat the fuck out of you right here.
18:12And mark my words, one day, we'll get you.
18:16But that doesn't solve our problem here.
18:18Derry?
18:23My name's Derry?
18:28Daryl.
18:28That's just something my friends call me sometimes.
18:34We gotta put the damage you're doing around Letterkenny to bed.
18:37That's 5K.
18:39Woody is owed.
18:40More than that.
18:41We're so fucking funny!
18:43Right?
18:46We're gonna call it 5K.
18:49Is that what we're gonna do?
18:50We are.
18:51You're gonna take it and leave Letterkenny.
18:53And if you come back for so much as to pump your gas...
18:56When he gives a warning, he don't repeat it.
18:59We'll get you.
19:02Deal.
19:08Beat's fighting an ostrich fucker.
19:11All right, can we, uh, part the Hicksy here?
19:16Uh, actually, Pete.
19:22I gotta know.
19:23This has got to sting a little bit, right?
19:28I mean, you're short, you're ugly, you're incompetent, you're fucking baroque.
19:33Fucking A.
19:34You're a fucking addict.
19:36You're hopeless.
19:37Yeah.
19:38I mean, you are such a tragedy that even all these people here who hate you will bail you out.
19:45Just so they can, what's the word, erase you.
19:52My cousin was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and he works at a fucking bank.
19:56What's your fucking excuse?
19:58That'll do, Tammus.
19:59Hey, I'm not talking to you.
20:03Look at you.
20:04You got bloodshot eyes, runny nose, fucking greasy hair, scabs everywhere.
20:09What is that?
20:10What's that, right there?
20:12You see that?
20:13Is that cum, dried cum on your fucking zipper?
20:15I'm so sorry.
20:19Oh, you are pointless.
20:20I bet the second you popped out, your mom wished she had a sewn-up snapper.
20:28Probably would have been better if you grew to this sickly size inside her womb and killed the both of you before you fucking rolled out and started fucking up.
20:37Bitch.
20:40What?
20:41I'll tell you, it's got to sting a little bit.
20:43Well, fucking get after it, then.
20:51I'll tell you, it's got to sting a little bit.
21:13That's a poo.
21:32All I want to do is get home and eat some food.
21:42I wanna do it, sit it ready once or two
21:46What a eat, what a sleep
21:49Don't wanna go at it, I don't wanna go at it
21:54Well, who'da thunk it?
22:04Fuck, fuck, huh?
22:07That was a top-tier sucker, Riley
22:09You too, Jonesy
22:12Thanks, boys, I'd sucker you guys in your sleep
22:15Still, makes my top three suckers, boys
22:19An A1 box shot, you fucking barbarian
22:23Never claimed to be a lady
22:25Did you stop and smoke a joint for a bit
22:28And then jump right back in there?
22:30Back to your guards, fellas
22:32On the house
22:37Well, all right
22:39We'll be right back in there
22:50We'll be right back in there
22:52Strange ways with a wall of a bar
22:57I've got a great man
23:03And he walks for a door to door
23:07But I can't find him
23:12I'll even make out on the floor
23:16There's a path I'm going in
23:21On the wheel from the door
23:25Well, at this rate, I'll be another one soon, Gailer
23:33You know, I've got to say
23:50I'm looking forward to a little bit of peace and quiet around here
23:53Here, here
23:54There ain't no reason to get excited, am I right?
23:59Yeah
23:59All right
24:03Who the fuck is the toughest guy in here?
24:14That'd be me
24:14That'd be me
24:16That'd be me
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