Malcolm In The Middle Season 4 Episode 13 Stereo Store
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00:00Hey, Allison, okay, here's your book report. It's a guaranteed A.
00:07Oh, I totally forgot to do mine, and I can't afford to get another F.
00:13No problem.
00:15Now we'll both get C's.
00:19Yes, no, maybe.
00:23I don't know.
00:26Can you repeat the question?
00:30You're not the boss of me now.
00:36You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big.
00:41You're not the boss of me now.
00:51Life is unfair.
01:21It's really crazy.
01:31But mostly, it's just funny.
01:33I've hired a new babysitter for you boys.
01:36She should be here any minute.
01:37What?
01:38What do we need a babysitter for?
01:40Because I want the house to be where I left it.
01:43There she is.
01:45Jessica?
01:46Hi.
01:47Hi, Reese. Hi, Malcolm.
01:51You know each other?
01:52She's in my class, Dad.
01:54She's a year younger than me.
01:56I'll be darned.
01:57No way is she babysitting.
01:59She's younger than me.
02:00She's older than me.
02:02Shut up, Dewey.
02:03Look, kids, I'm sorry for the mix-up, but today is my first day and I can't be late.
02:07So we're just going to have to pull together and make the best of it.
02:10It's going to be a little embarrassing, I'll grant you that, but ten years from now you'll
02:14look back and laugh.
02:16In college I had a poli-sci teacher who was the worst thresher in the world.
02:21Why he was always taking so much time to get...
02:27Wow, this is weird.
02:31So, you go set the table and you two wash up for dinner.
02:37Okay.
02:38Okay.
02:39Excuse me.
02:40Excuse me.
02:41This is so excellent.
02:42Oh, oh, oh!
02:43Look!
02:44A light!
02:45And, and what are these marvelous things?
02:48Sea clamps.
02:49The sea clamp!
02:51Oh, Otto!
02:53It's like a dream.
02:55Oh, Francis, what a brilliant idea.
02:58Opening our doors to the film industry.
03:01It was no big deal.
03:02When Patrick said he wanted to direct a movie here, all I said was sure.
03:06I mean, it's not like it's a big budget movie or anything.
03:09Don't belittle yourself, Francis.
03:11They will tell their friends at the Brown Derby, soon bigger movies will come.
03:15And one day, I will be fluffing the pillow of Mr. Rutger Hauer.
03:29Excuse me.
03:30Are you an actress?
03:31Guilty.
03:32I knew it.
03:33I've seen you in something.
03:34I know I have.
03:35What was it?
03:36Dirty Girls Down Under.
03:37Yes!
03:38No!
03:39That's the one I always get.
03:41I won a booty award for the best girl on Girls Sing.
03:49No!
03:51No!
03:52No!
03:53No!
03:54No!
03:55No!
03:56No!
03:57No!
03:58No!
03:59No!
04:00No!
04:01No!
04:02No!
04:03No!
04:04No!
04:05No!
04:06No!
04:07No!
04:08All right, listen up.
04:10I want you guys to meet Hal.
04:12Uh, uh, uh, uh, guys?
04:15These are the idiots.
04:17They're totally useless.
04:19I'm serious.
04:21Whatever they do, you do the opposite!
04:30I don't know what that was about, but I'm looking forward to working with you guys.
04:34I'm sure you can teach me a lot.
04:36Can you help me?
04:37Oh, sure, ma'am.
04:38Is this a clock radio or just a radio?
04:41Oh, uh, uh, it's a clock radio.
04:44It's also a CD player.
04:46Oh, thank you.
04:47You're welcome.
04:48Did you see that?
04:51Did either of you idiots see that?
04:53This guy's been on the job two minutes.
04:55Already he's done more than the two of you jackasses put together.
04:58I-I just read the sign.
05:00Oh, either of you chowderheads ever bothered to read a sign?
05:04You know, unlike you shiftless losers, this is a man who's gonna get me out of the hellhole
05:09of assistant night manager!
05:13So you guys have a softball team?
05:22I don't understand what relative density is.
05:27It's the weight of an object compared to the weight of an equal volume of water.
05:31Oh, neat.
05:32Rhys, you have the next bath after Dewey!
05:35Two more minutes, Dewey!
05:37Okay!
05:38You can't make me take a bath!
05:40I'll go outside and roll in the mud and I'll go to bed that way!
05:45Come on.
05:46Be a big boy.
05:47I'll take the tugboat and you can have the ducky.
05:49You think this is funny?
05:51It's kind of funny.
05:52Rhys will make you a deal.
05:53Help me with the dishes and I won't make you take a bath.
05:56You can't make me do anything!
05:58Boy, Alice almost read about your temper.
06:01What are you talking about?
06:03Oh, she was kind of saying that you were...
06:06You know what?
06:07Never mind.
06:08Is she mad at me?
06:10I wouldn't say mad.
06:12What'd she say?
06:14I probably shouldn't.
06:15No, no, no.
06:16You have to.
06:17Give me that.
06:18Well, it wasn't really what she said.
06:22It was more the way she said it.
06:25Oh, that's baked on.
06:26You're gonna need some cleanser for that.
06:28Oh, okay.
06:31Go on.
06:32Okay.
06:33Reese is easy, but she's good.
06:40There's a problem with this film.
06:41We heard about the actors that didn't show up, but don't worry.
06:45They gave the part to Gretchen.
06:49What?
06:50No!
06:51It's not a big part.
06:52I just walk in and say, looks like we're going to need more towels.
06:59And then I walk out.
07:01Do you have any idea what kind of a movie this is?
07:04So is an independent film.
07:06It's a Sundance Film Festival as tall as anything.
07:10It is.
07:11The low-budget film can compete with the big boys.
07:15But this...
07:16It doesn't matter what kind of movie it is.
07:19It makes me feel so, so good, you know.
07:26I guess like any little girl, I had dreams.
07:29Sure, but they said I wasn't pretty enough.
07:32And they said I wasn't smart enough.
07:34Your mother was a jealous cow.
07:38Thank you, Francis.
07:40I owe it all to you.
07:43Dad doesn't have time to find us a new babysitter.
07:46So we're stuck with Jessica.
07:47Which is fine with me.
07:49I don't plan on spending any time here anyway.
07:54Dewey, what are you eating?
07:55Carrot sticks.
07:57Jessica says we have to eat healthier.
07:59I don't know what company makes this stuff, but I hate it.
08:03Reese?
08:04Don't step on the floor.
08:06Jessica said if I scrubbed the floor, she'd tell me how far Allison's willing to go with me.
08:12Oh, hi Malcolm.
08:13Listen, I need you to make a salad and set the table.
08:15Oh, that's interesting.
08:16I need you to do it yourself because I'm going to a movie.
08:18On a school night?
08:19You really think Hal would want you to?
08:20Well, he's not here.
08:21So if I want to go to a movie, I'll go to a movie.
08:22You know, Malcolm, I think Hal looks to you.
08:23Stop calling him Hal!
08:24Look, don't think you can control me the way you can these two.
08:27What are you talking about?
08:28I'm not saying you don't have some skills.
08:29They're just wasted on me.
08:30I'm smarter than you.
08:31Smarter how?
08:32Smarter how?
08:33My brain just works differently, okay?
08:34I can see what you're doing and what you're planning at the same time.
08:47So what?
08:48You have like, two brains?
08:49Of course not!
08:50Nobody has two brains.
08:51Look, I can see what you're doing and what you're planning at the same time.
08:55So what? You have, like, two brains?
08:58Of course not! Nobody has two brains!
09:01Look, do you know how multitasking works on a computer?
09:06Here, I'll draw you a diagram.
09:09Let's say this circle is your conscious mind during a normal conversation.
09:14This intersecting circle represents another track. Now to push the first...
09:18Wait, wait, wait. Slow down.
09:21For lack of a better term, we'll call this track subtext.
09:25Now with my brain, there could be four tracks going at one time,
09:28plus one supervisor track that keeps them all in line.
09:31Unless you're talking about...
09:34Hey, guys.
09:36So when you're not at work, what do you do for fun?
09:39Nothing.
09:40Me too. Word.
09:43I hold in my hand two tickets to OzFest
09:48that go to our top salesman of the month.
09:51Hal.
09:52What?
09:53Oh, man.
09:54You guys are pathetic.
09:56He beat you in one day.
10:00Just got lucky.
10:01Hey, you know what? I really can't use these. If you guys want to go...
10:04Oh, no. I gave those tickets to you. They're non-transferable.
10:07We can't reward these idiots for standing around doing nothing!
10:16Randy, let me...
10:19Randy, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, but, you know, sometimes a little...
10:26Are they doing that at me?
10:32You know what that sound is?
10:34That's the sound of success.
10:39And sometimes my thoughts are, like, three-dimensional.
10:42I can almost reach out and touch them.
10:44Or they could just be pure logic, like booling analogy.
10:46Malcolm.
10:47It's getting late.
10:48Is it?
10:49Oh, man. The movie was over an hour ago.
10:53Huh.
10:54Well, anyway, I'm glad to know how much smarter you were than me.
10:59Okay, Jessica has taken over the house and we need to get it back.
11:14She can't get away with this.
11:16Once she finishes laying out her clothes for tomorrow, she's dead meat.
11:20No more early bedtimes and no more being a clean plate ranger.
11:25Then we're agreed. It ends now.
11:31You know, I really am tired.
11:34Me too. 8 o'clock is pretty late.
11:37And I'm really much better at making someone dead meat after I've had a good night's sleep.
11:41But tomorrow...
11:43She's going down.
11:44No question.
11:46Did everyone brush their teeth?
11:49Excuse me, Patrick. Can I talk to you about Gretchen?
11:58Oh, I love Gretchen. She's just like my mom. Except she's not a 60-year-old stripper.
12:02Look, I didn't know when I booked your company that you made... porn.
12:07My problem is Gretchen. Really has her heart set on doing this. And I don't want to call the police.
12:13Oh, I get it. So what's your pleasure? Debbie or Lance?
12:18No. No, that's not what I'm talking about. I just have a little rewrite.
12:23Rewrite? Let me explain something to you. These people are not actors. You can't just change the words on them at the last second.
12:32Just look it over. It's only a little different.
12:36Sicilian Volcano. Four letters.
12:38Aetna.
12:39A-T-E-T-N-A.
12:45We haven't managed to get rid of Jessica yet.
12:47But we've been putting the screws to her pretty good. Just a question of time.
12:53Your tea.
12:55Thank you, Malcolm. Me sweet.
12:58Alright, boys. Bedtime.
13:04No way!
13:05No, I want to stay up and do more s-
13:09Oh my god.
13:11Boys.
13:13They're overtired.
13:15Excuse me.
13:16Alright, get your butts in your bed right now or I'll tell everyone you know that you walk around in your mother's shoes.
13:29But that's a secret!
13:31And I'll tell Allison you spent an hour on the phone with Cindy Reed.
13:34Oh, now it's a crime to be a good listener?
13:39And a certain boy genius takes pro-girl bodybuilding supplement.
13:43I do not.
13:44I do not.
13:48Bulk of now.
13:50Watch the ladies say wow.
13:53No one will believe you.
13:55Maybe not.
13:56We'll just leave it to the tough but always fair court of high school public opinion.
14:03For the love of God, it's 7.30.
14:07You're supposed to be tougher than her.
14:09Well, Malcolm's supposed to be smarter than her.
14:11I am smarter than her.
14:13She just caught me off guard a couple times.
14:15I'll come up with something.
14:18Something heinous.
14:19Something brutal.
14:21Do we get your footy pajamas?
14:23I'm not wearing those.
14:25Do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to remember what chocolate tastes like?
14:34And take Professor Cuddles.
14:41Do we?
14:46What are you doing up?
14:48I'm trying to be a big boy, but I miss my mommy.
14:55Awww.
14:57Come here, honey.
14:58Honey?
15:07Okay, he's asleep.
15:09Whose turn was it?
15:11Yours.
15:12Truth or dare?
15:14Truth.
15:15What is your deepest, darkest secret?
15:19Well...
15:20No.
15:23Attention shoppers.
15:24The store is now closed.
15:26Please bring your purchases...
15:28Don't I seem likable to you?
15:30I don't seem like a suck-up, do I?
15:33Throughout our conversation here, I haven't used any unnecessary compliments, have I?
15:38I just want a toaster.
15:39I haven't once said that you have a square jaw or a beautiful voice.
15:43Even if I think so, I didn't say it.
15:46Hang on a second.
15:48Hey!
15:49Hey!
15:50Guys!
15:51Guys!
15:52Hey!
15:53You wanna go get a beer?
15:54I'm buying.
15:55We kinda have plans.
15:56Oh.
15:58Where you going?
15:59Party.
16:00I mean...
16:01Nowhere.
16:02Nowhere.
16:03Interesting.
16:04You know, just some other guys from work.
16:06Hey!
16:07Well, I'm a guy from work.
16:09Why don't I follow you there?
16:11That sounds like a lot of fun.
16:13Yeah.
16:14Okay.
16:15Way to go.
16:23Randy, I know you asked me to help you close out, but I'm feeling a little bit ill.
16:29You wanna go to that party?
16:31No.
16:32Hal, look, I don't know why you care what those guys think, but I'm gonna protect you
16:37from yourself.
16:38I'm really not feeling well.
16:39Hal, you need to make a choice.
16:41Do you really wanna jeopardize your job just to make friends with a bunch of brain-dead
16:45idiots?
16:49Guys!
16:50Wait up!
16:53I won't let you do it, Hal!
17:02I can't believe they're letting us watch them film.
17:30Okay.
17:31And, uh...
17:34Action!
17:45Room service.
17:47Mmm.
17:48I really need some service.
17:51Where do you want me to put it?
17:53Put it.
17:56Anywhere you wanna...
17:58Put it.
18:00I wanna put it here.
18:04Oh, yeah.
18:05Yeah.
18:07And...
18:09Here.
18:10Yeah, that's even better.
18:15Mmm.
18:16Yeah.
18:18Can anyone join in?
18:23Yeah.
18:25That's it.
18:34You're the best.
18:40Looks like we're going to need more tally!
18:42And cuts!
18:43Bravo!
18:44Can we get back to work now?
18:45I'm shooting at my sister's wedding in six hours.
18:46Sure.
18:48The cinema has a brilliant new light.
18:49And her name is Gretchen Mancoser.
18:50Oh, I don't...
18:52You were great.
18:53Really?
18:54I don't know.
18:55I found that whole thing was kind of stupid and pointless.
18:57You know what would've helped?
18:58Some sex.
18:59Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:01But you know these Americans,
19:02they have a good job.
19:03I'm sorry.
19:04I'm sorry.
19:05I'm sorry.
19:06I'm sorry.
19:07I'm sorry.
19:08Don't you?
19:09I'm sorry.
19:10I'm sorry.
19:11I'm sorry.
19:12I'm sorry.
19:13I'm sorry.
19:14I'm sorry.
19:15I'm sorry.
19:16I'm sorry.
19:17I'm sorry.
19:18I'm sorry.
19:19I'm sorry.
19:20I'm sorry.
19:21I'm sorry.
19:22They have lots of hang-ups, huh?
19:26Night.
19:28Oh!
19:29Come back tomorrow!
19:30The boys mix Jogonaw.
19:37Dewey, I thought you were asleep.
19:39We thought a lot of things.
19:42What are you boys doing dressed?
19:44You want to handle this?
19:46Oh yeah.
19:48Where are you going?
19:49Come back here!
19:51I'm calling Allison. Are you gonna tell her you said she was stupid and you're only friends with her at a bar or clothes?
19:58You little- Or would you rather call your parents and tell them you're the one who stole your grandmother's ring?
20:06Okay, here's how it's gonna work. Reese and I are going out and you're gonna tell my dad we were here the whole time.
20:11You're gonna stay here with Dewey and wait on him hand and foot. I want a Sunday and then some pizza and then another pizza and then a pizza Sunday.
20:21Let's face it, you had this coming. If I were you, I'd learn something from this. You have to realize when you're overmatched.
20:34What are you doing?
20:36Just get out of here.
20:42Hey, you're the one who- Look, don't cry!
20:46I can do whatever I want. I'm horrible.
20:51Everyone hates me.
20:54No, they don't.
20:55Well, they should.
20:58I don't know why I'm like this. I just...
21:03It's okay. It's okay.
21:09Hey, you guys!
21:25She beats the hell out of working, am I right?
21:28Don't you have a family?
21:30Hey, who's up for a Tijuana car wash, huh?
21:35Right here.
21:36Yeah, me-do-me-do. I am totally up for a Tijuana car wash.
21:40Have you ever done a Tijuana car wash?
21:44Have I ever done a Tijuana car wash?
21:47Okay, him first.
21:47Oh my God!
21:50Oh my God!
21:51Oh my God!
21:52Oh my God!
21:53Oh my God!
21:54Oh my God!
21:56Oh my God!
21:57Oh my God!
21:58Oh my God!
21:59Oh my God!
22:00Oh my God!
22:01Hey ho, let's go!
22:02Don't start lying!
22:03We don't wanna fightin'
22:04We don't wanna fightin'
22:07We don't wanna fightin'
22:08We don't wanna fightin'
22:09What you think?
22:11So tell me what you do
22:12I don't wanna be like you
22:14Can't you see?
22:16It's killing me
22:18I'm an illness, standin' alone
22:21What you do?
22:23Keep on moving
22:24I can't believe you did that.
22:38Well, you know, party guy, me.
22:44Can I get you here?
22:47I'm good.
22:49Everyone get out of here!
22:52My parents are back from Maui!
22:54Do they see you?
23:17I don't think so.
23:21What am I doing?
23:23What the hell am I doing?
23:27There's no reason for me to be here.
23:31You're an idiot.
23:33Your friends are idiots.
23:35Everyone jammed into this playhouse is an idiot!
23:41You're just calling yourself an idiot.
23:43I think I'm going to be sick.
23:50I know you guys.
23:52I used to be one of you before my family.
23:56Thanks to them, I know what's really important.
23:59And that's not what you think of me.
24:00It's what they think of me.
24:03Thank God for my wife.
24:05Thank God for my kids.
24:07You're welcome.
24:13Reese!
24:16Can I get a ride home with you?
24:18I used to think I was so smart.
24:22But I'm just selfish.
24:25Here.
24:26Drink this.
24:31I'll tell you one thing.
24:33You made me take a good, hard look at myself.
24:36And I don't like what I see.
24:38Look, you're not a bad person.
24:41I didn't mean to put you through this.
24:44I was just trying...
24:45Okay.
24:45Dad?
24:49Reese?
24:50What are you...
24:51What time is it?
24:52Listen, Jessica, you've been a big help.
24:54But tonight's going to be your last night.
24:56I don't have that job anymore.
24:59Sorry.
25:00It's okay.
25:01It was a lot of fun.
25:02They're good kids.
25:04Bye.
25:06Alright, the two of you, get to bed.
25:10Dude, you missed an awesome party.
25:15Wait.
25:20She didn't...
25:22I'm smart then.
25:25She...
25:25Okay, I'm just going to call the tie and go to bed.
25:30That's it.