Dogecoin, Garlic Breath, Powerball, Mr Rogers House
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FunTranscript
00:00Fester's bragging right now that he's made $500 on Dogecoin since the beginning of this song,
00:07Don't Stand So Close to Me by The Police.
00:09All right, I've been following Dogecoin all along.
00:11Breaking it in.
00:12I was in and out of it when it was like two pennies, four pennies.
00:15Then it jumped to like six or seven pennies for a couple of weeks.
00:18I put an order in to buy it at a nickel.
00:20It only got to 5.1, so my order never filled.
00:23And now it's 40 cents a share.
00:2544 cents a share.
00:27Or a share.
00:28I dropped $100,000 into...
00:30$723,000, $737,000, $754,000.
00:33Oh, my God.
00:34I dropped $100,000 into Bitcoin when it dropped down to $5,800.
00:39You wish.
00:40Didn't Dogecoin start as like a joke?
00:43Dogecoin started as a joke, and now the joke is worth...
00:46I'll tell you what.
00:47The world doesn't seem real anymore.
00:4848 cents a share.
00:49I just bought it at 39.
00:50I bought 8,000 shares.
00:53Man, the world is nuts, man.
00:55Everything is just flipping upside down.
00:58Things that don't make sense make sense.
01:00Things that make sense don't make sense.
01:01Listen, I'm telling you, we're in a simulation.
01:04I am convinced that we're in a...
01:06We're somebody's toy set.
01:08I think so, too.
01:09And it's becoming...
01:09We're in God's eyes.
01:10It's becoming more clear to me.
01:13Listen, I don't know if I'm being serious here, but listen, things are weird these days.
01:17We're being played by some kid right now.
01:19Yeah, we got the COVID that looks like Horton gives a who or something.
01:24You know...
01:25It does.
01:26You know, we're in the middle of this COVID deal still.
01:29And do you know about the garlic test?
01:31No, but I'm so conflicted on garlic.
01:34Is that the food that you can or can't taste to determine if you have COVID or not?
01:37No, no, no.
01:38That's a good guess, but that's wrong.
01:40I did agree with it.
01:41Garlic breath 24-7.
01:43Was it from eating a lot of garlic or just something...
01:45I think it was a gut issue.
01:46Really?
01:47Oh, it was the worst.
01:48I hated kissing her.
01:49I hated her.
01:52Froggy.
01:52She was a nut.
01:53I'm glad that ended.
01:54What are you conflicted with?
01:55I love garlic.
01:56I love the taste, and I love the smell of it when it's cooking, but I know it's offensive
02:01when it comes out of your pores.
02:02Yeah.
02:03And mouth, as Froggy's described.
02:05Well, the garlic test with COVID, if you can smell somebody's garlic breath, then you're
02:13at risk.
02:14You're too close.
02:15And that's just sort of a metaphor, just an example, that if you can, any kind of breath,
02:20if you can smell somebody's breath, then you're totally way too close.
02:24Yeah, clearly that's going to be much closer than six feet.
02:27You're invading their privacy.
02:29But if you can smell somebody's breath when they speak to you, that means that all kinds
02:33of spittle and stuff is hitting you in the face and your tongue, and think about that
02:38for a second.
02:39I can smell Fesh's breath from across the room sometimes.
02:41Yeah, that's the garlic test.
02:43That's good.
02:44Hey, man, I'm kind of upset.
02:46The Land O'Lakes Powerball winner didn't call us this morning.
02:51He's too busy being rich.
02:53Yeah, I want to be rich.
02:55Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
02:58I want to be rich.
03:00I want to be a little happy to happen now.
03:02Yeah, Thomas Yee, 23.
03:04This is amazing.
03:05Thomas Yee, 23 years old, The Land O'Lakes.
03:07He's the one that bought that winning Powerball ticket back on March 27th at the Publix on
03:15Nebraska, right up near Avila, right?
03:17Yeah.
03:18That's right in the back end of Avila, right?
03:20Yeah, two things.
03:20One, I'm happy some rich schmuck from Avila didn't win.
03:22And I'm happy some old-ass person didn't win, because there's plenty of old people in
03:27my neighborhood, too.
03:27So, Thomas Yee, 23 years old, probably lives at home still.
03:31He won the $235.4 million jackpot, and he took the lump sum of $160,038,447.27.
03:42What a lucky kid.
03:43Just make sure you have your ducks in a row.
03:46Everyone's going to be bugging you for money.
03:47You're going to have friends and relatives coming out of the woodwork.
03:50Everyone's going to be hitting you up.
03:51Hopefully, you've got good advice there.
03:53Thomas Yee, congratulations on the win.
03:56And just, you know, stay level.
03:58Don't blow all the money.
03:59Don't end up, you know, like in a strip club parking lot robbed of a briefcase full of
04:04$80,000.
04:05Like, what was that guy's name?
04:06Or end up underneath somebody's, like, porch.
04:09Yeah.
04:09Like that other guy who won.
04:11Buried.
04:12Shakespeare.
04:13Abraham Lincoln Shakespeare.
04:14Oh, Festa, hold on back.
04:15I've got to shut off the Apache closer music.
04:18Hang on a minute.
04:19I've got to play some different closer music.
04:22Oh, look at this, folks.
04:26You know what this is, don't you?
04:28Takes me back.
04:29Mr. Rogers.
04:31His former home is up for sale in Pittsburgh.
04:35Oh, my God.
04:36You're home from the TV show?
04:37Hey, take your Dogecoin.
04:38What is it?
04:39He won't stop looking at it.
04:40What do you call it?
04:41What's the name of it?
04:42Dogecoin?
04:43Dogecoin.
04:43All right, take your Dogecoin winnings, and why don't you buy Mr. Rogers' old house,
04:48five-bedroom, three-bath on Squirrel Hill.
04:50My dogs would go crazy.
04:54$850,000.
04:56Oh, do you have the same pedophile mailman?
04:59Mr. McFeely.
05:01Yeah, Mr. McFeely.
05:04Fred Rogers lived to regret naming him Mr. McFeely.
05:07Yeah, I think so.
05:08Oh, by the way, Fester, if you buy the house.
05:11Oh, no.
05:12You get the trolley that runs around.
05:14Oh, I love that trolley.
05:15If you buy Mr. Rogers' house, you get the trolley.
05:17Now, this isn't the TV show house.
05:19I was on a set.
05:20I know.
05:20The TV.
05:21I'm kidding around.
05:22It's his real house, not the set at the Pittsburgh Public Television Station.