00:00My dad got a new Tesla.
00:03My dad is going to be 80 soon.
00:05And he got a Model S, ludicrous Model Tesla.
00:08I'm like, what the hell do you need that for?
00:10I'm spending my grandkids' inheritance.
00:12What are you doing?
00:14It's mine and my brother's.
00:16He's skipping you.
00:16I told my parents, I said, spend every dime.
00:19I'm not waiting for a thing.
00:20All right.
00:21I cut my own trail.
00:23Listen, I could have had it made in the shade running the family plastics business,
00:26but I chose this radio.
00:29I mean, what an idiot you are.
00:31Yeah, really.
00:31I mean, seriously.
00:31All right, well, here's the deal.
00:33So they tell me this story last night.
00:37Oh, we've got to tell you something awful.
00:40Todd, we've got to tell you something terrible.
00:43My mom's at a parking lot in a shopping center, and she's backing.
00:47It wasn't my dad's new Tesla, so it wasn't the Tesla.
00:50My dad had a mishap as well.
00:51Do you remember my dad and the light pole in the park?
00:53Hold on.
00:54I'll morph into that.
00:55So my mom is backing out of a parking spot, and she claimed that it was a tight parking
01:04lot where, you know, she's parked on one side, then you've got the road in the middle
01:08of the parking lot, and then you've got cars on the opposite side.
01:11She's backing out.
01:12But unbeknownst to her, she backs too close to the pickup truck behind her, and there's
01:20a trailer hitch extension.
01:23Oh.
01:23You know the little black bars?
01:26Yeah.
01:26And then you've got the trailer hitch ball.
01:28My mom backs up.
01:31Her car gets latched onto the car.
01:33Oh, my God.
01:34Are you kidding?
01:35My mom's car gets latched onto the trailer hitch ball, and then she puts it in the drive,
01:43pulls away.
01:44It rips the whole rear bumper off her car.
01:47Her car.
01:48It's not moving the truck.
01:49No.
01:49No.
01:49The truck is fine.
01:50The truck's fine.
01:51The whole rear facade bumper is now laying in the parking lot, and she's pulling, and
01:57people are, like, waving at her.
01:58Your bumper!
01:59My mom doesn't know.
02:00Oh, my God.
02:01People stop because people are walking out of the stores, and they saw what happened,
02:04and they're, like, waving at her.
02:05Stop.
02:06No, no, no.
02:06Stop.
02:07Stop.
02:07And she looks behind her, the whole bumper, the whole rear of the car.
02:11Did she put the bumper in the back seat or something?
02:14Oh, my God.
02:14Yeah.
02:15Some guy put the bumper in her back seat.
02:18There you go, ma'am.
02:19And she expected you not to laugh at that?
02:21So, they're telling me the story last night, and I think they were looking for sympathy.
02:25So, they tell me the story, and instead of, like, oh, my God, that's terrible.
02:29I'm, like, no.
02:38So, they won't talk to me, though.
02:41And then, remember the story.
02:43My dad, my dad got, this was, like, maybe eight years ago.
02:47They rent, my dad is so, they took a vacation on the West Coast, and they rented a Honda Odyssey
02:52minivan.
02:54And my dad's, like, oh, my God, this is the best.
02:55I love this thing.
02:56It's really a great vehicle.
02:57So, he came home and bought a Honda Odyssey.
02:59After renting it, he went and bought a Honda Odyssey.
03:02The thing was two weeks old.
03:04He's driving through a Publix parking lot in torrential rain, and he was not going down
03:10the aisles.
03:11He smashed it to one of the concrete light poles.
03:15Oh, that's the worst.
03:16I mean, so he's...
03:17Parents are menacing.
03:18He's going too fast in the Publix parking lot.
03:21And you know the concrete pillars, and then the light poles are on top?
03:25Well, the first three or four feet's concrete because of people like your father.
03:29Yeah.
03:29Airbags go off the whole shebang.
03:34Listen, that happened to one of my neighbors one time, down the block.
03:38She pulled into her garage, and she hit the gas instead of the brake, I guess, and hit
03:44the refrigerator in the back of her garage and plowed through the cinder block wall.
03:48Wait, wait, wait.
03:48Hold on a minute.
03:49This is a neighbor of yours is pulling into the garage?
03:54Like six houses down.
03:55The house is like an L-shaped house.
03:56She's pulling into the garage?
03:58The garage isn't...
03:58My garage is straight on, but her garage is like turn...
04:01You make a 45-degree turn to get into her garage.
04:03And she's pulling, and she hit the gas?
04:05And she just whipped it in, and she had one of those big SUVs that you have to kind of
04:07get right into the double garage.
04:09Yeah, and like, yeah, you don't have much space.
04:11She hit the back...
04:12She hit the freezer in the back of her garage, and it went through the cinder block wall,
04:16and you could see in her garage from the outside of the house because the physical
04:20freezer was removed from her house because she's plowed right through it.
04:24She pushed the freezer, because a lot of people have like a garage freezer, you know what
04:27I'm talking about?
04:28So she...
04:28I have one of those.
04:29She pushed it right into the bathroom or something?
04:31She smashed it into the laundry room or whatever.
04:34This is the...
04:34No, this is the back wall of the garage was the exterior of the house because it's an L-shaped
04:37house.
04:39And she pushed it.
04:39You could physically see inside the house.
04:42Wait a minute.
04:42Hold on.
04:43The garage went to the...
04:45The back of the garage went to the house?
04:46This is the garage.
04:47Yes.
04:47Right here.
04:48This is the garage door.
04:48She pulls in here.
04:49Here's the refrigerator.
04:50It blows out the back.
04:51Like, here's the street and we're walking by and here's her garage refrigerator laying
04:56on the ground.
04:56It didn't go into the house.
04:57It went...
04:58Out of the house.
04:58Out of the house.
04:59She blasted it out of her house.
05:00Smashed the wall of the garage out, the back wall of the garage, and pushed the fridge
05:04out into the yard.
05:05People have got to be careful when they're driving these things.
05:07It's unbelievable.
05:09All right.
05:09Now, my parents are not talking to me now.
05:12Aw.
05:12Not that I would have wanted this to happen, but if the truck had started moving with your
05:17mom's car on it, that would have been scary.
05:18Oh, my God.
05:19You've had the truck just telling your mom around?
05:21My mom's latched on.
05:23What kind of car does mom have?
05:24It was a Genesis G80, I believe.
05:28Okay.
05:28Yeah.
05:29And it's a pretty nice car.
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