Buffalo Bill's Craigslist Ads

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak reveal the voice behind every ad you'll find on Craigslist!

Transcript

00:0025-year-old woman hired a hairstylist on Craigslist last week, but then she didn't like the hairstyle

00:15she got, so she complained to the Craigslist hairstylist, and that's when the hairstylist

00:21blasted her with pepper spray.

00:23Things that will never happen to me.

00:25Lisa, you going to that Craigslist hairdresser today?

00:28No.

00:30Never.

00:30There's no training necessary when it's a Craigslist hair salon.

00:36What other things can you get?

00:38I never even thought about that.

00:40Like, anything.

00:40Services?

00:41Can I get surgery?

00:42Well, that's highly illegal.

00:45I don't know.

00:46Okay, so I'm looking on Craigslist Detroit now.

00:49They'll steal your organs.

00:50Yeah, they will.

00:51Let's put surgery in here and see what comes up.

00:55I'm looking for, like, out-of-the-ordinary stuff, though.

00:57Maybe it's under code words that I'll never understand.

01:00That's just it, you know.

01:02Professional junk removal?

01:03Does that mean they'll jerk me off?

01:04I don't think so.

01:06I think they're just going to take your stuff away.

01:07Oh, it's probably just a redneck dumpster.

01:10Yeah.

01:13Okay, jerking me off here.

01:16Dave calls him up.

01:17I'm looking for you guys to come jerk me off.

01:21He's like, I got a big piece of junk I need removed.

01:24Apparently, there's all sorts of code words on Craigslist that we found out about, like, snow and all sorts of stuff.

01:33Yeah.

01:33Oh, there's call me if you need a ride.

01:35That seems legit.

01:37Craigslist Uber.

01:39I can drive you anywhere you need to go.

01:41I can drive you to and from the airport.

01:43I have a chauffeur's license.

01:45I drive safe.

01:46My driving record is clean.

01:48I'll also take your skin off.

01:49Yeah.

01:51No, no, no.

01:52Get in the car.

01:53Just get in the car or go to the airport.

01:57Get in the car.

02:00Get in the car.

02:04That's what I think.

02:05That's what I think, Alex.

02:08Get in the car.

02:11You did start to lose it like that, didn't you?

02:13Oh, yeah.

02:15Come on.

02:16Put the lotion in the basket.

02:19This sounds legit.

02:21Get auto repairs for females only.

02:25Ladies, I'm doing weekend repairs on cars for women only.

02:28I know how these shops operate.

02:30Trust me.

02:31They rip you off.

02:32I'm just tossing this out there for the single moms and women who are looking for a break.

02:37Don't do it, ladies.

02:38No.

02:39Let me fix your car.

02:40Come on.

02:42Let me change your oil.

02:45They're going to rip you off.

02:49Get in the car.

02:52Tell me where you live.

02:54Why do I feel that that's the voice behind every one of these ads?

02:58Every one from the pet grooming.

03:00Yeah.

03:01Let me cut your dog's hair.

03:03Yeah.

03:04Come on.

03:05I got a cute name.

03:06My business has a cute name.

03:13I got a party bus.

03:16Rent my party bike.

03:20Yeah.

03:21Let's just throw a cat sitter cat watcher.

03:23Oh, wow.

03:23I want to watch your cat.

03:26That's creepy.

03:27I want to watch your cat.

03:28Tell me where you live.

03:30No.

03:31Tell me where you live, Lisa.

03:34I want to watch your cat.

03:38Take care of it.

03:40I have one cat of my own, and I absolutely love him.

03:45I'm very passionate about cat.

03:49I would love to cat sit.

03:51Visits would be about 30 to 60 minutes long.

03:57Services include feeding, refreshing water, dishes, lots of playing, cleaning cat litter

04:05box, distributing medicine.

04:09Take your medicine.

04:10Take it, cat.

04:12Just take it.

04:14Come on.

04:16Prices range from 12 bucks to 22 bucks.

04:19I'm affordable.

04:21Oh, yeah.

04:24Oh, there's your typical Craigslist voice.

04:28That's the voice we hear every time we read one of those ads.

04:32I'm sure some of them are legit, but I'm sure some of them are killers.

04:38No, like, I mean, that is a legit statement.

04:41Lots of, like, DJs on a budget.

04:46I just want to play music.

04:50It works for every one of them.

04:51It sure does.

04:53Absolutely.

04:54Oh, mobile welding.

04:57We come to you.

04:58I'll weld something for you.

05:00Just let me know where you live.

05:03Let me in your garage.

05:04They weld your dead body in the basement so nobody can find it.

05:09Interior painting for less.

05:11I just want to paint something for you.

05:14Come on.

05:17Need a new toilet.

05:18I'll put a toilet in.

05:22You can get anything you want done.

05:24I mean, you can get anything you want done.

05:26That's for sure.

05:27Yeah, but who'll show up to do it?

05:30I think a lot of these people.

05:32It's like fall, lawn, aeration, and jerk yard.

05:34I have a mobile shrink wrap business.

05:37I'll shrink wrap you.

05:40He does.

05:41Someone around there does.

05:46Is your computer broken?

05:49It's probably all the same guy.

05:51Let me in.

05:54You want me to build you a website?

05:56There's another one.

05:59Yep.

06:00Buffalo Bill's website.

06:01Buffalo Bill's Craigslist ads.

06:03Yep.

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