00:00Imagine coming home from like a stressful day of work and there's someone in your f***ing house
00:04who's like asking you questions like what are we eating for dinner?
00:08Shut the f*** up.
00:10Whenever people find out that I don't want kids but I'm married and I've been married for 13 years
00:14people are like how did you find a partner that also doesn't want kids?
00:18And my answer is when I met him he actually did want kids.
00:22I was the first girl he had ever met let alone dated that had not wanted kids.
00:28It was like a completely foreign concept to him.
00:31He had never even thought about the fact that somebody especially a woman could grow up and just not want kids.
00:37And I completely respected his views and his wants which is why I was very upfront about the fact that I was like from the beginning
00:43just so you know I most likely do not want to have kids and I want you to know that ahead of time
00:49so like if you want to get out you can.
00:51But what he started to realize over the course of our relationship as we were like traveling wherever we wanted
00:56and moving whenever we wanted and just living on our own terms
00:59is that while yes I'm sure there are so many benefits to having kids
01:03I'm sure you love them so much and it changes your life in the best way
01:06there are also a ton of benefits to not having kids
01:10like your freedom, your time, your mental health, your money.
01:14Like both things can exist.
01:16You can acknowledge like I do that becoming a parent is literally the most important
01:20probably the hardest job anyone will ever have in their lifetime
01:24and also acknowledge the fact that like some of us don't want that responsibility
01:29or some of us just don't feel like we are cut out for that.
01:32We take the decision so seriously and we just know that like it's not for us
01:37I love when people use this as a dig to people who don't want children
01:40like thank you I actually am going to enjoy my life with all of the money that I can spend on myself
01:46I'm going to feel so energized and youthful sleeping 10 hours a night
01:50I'm going to travel whenever and wherever I feel like it
01:53I get to drive myself to Pilates every morning instead of doing school pickup
01:57and hey after that I might meet some girlfriends and have a boozy lunch
02:00just because I feel like it
02:01and when I get home and I'm a little sleepy I'm going to take a nap
02:04and then when I wake up I'm going to order Uber Eats
02:06I won't have to carry the mental burden of taking care of another human being
02:10I get to prioritize myself and the things that make me happy
02:13that sounds like a pretty good life to me
02:16hearing your baby cry while the dishwasher is on
02:18and the TV is blasting cocoa melon all at the same time
02:21constantly being touched or having a baby on your boob
02:24or having sticky fingers all over the place
02:26the mental gymnastics of answering questions all day long
02:29like why is the sky blue
02:30decision fatigue so figuring out what's for dinner
02:33which car seat to buy
02:34are these diapers toxic
02:35the constant mental to-do list
02:37managing grocery shopping
02:38doctor's appointments
02:39play date
02:40not to mention chores like laundry
02:42cleaning the house
02:42managing big emotions and outbursts
02:45about things that seem so inconsequential to us as adults
02:48but to them feel real
02:49so not minimizing their feelings
02:51never fully being able to relax
02:53getting woken up in the middle of the night
02:54or too early
02:55or staying up too late
02:56not being able to eat your food
02:58when it comes at a restaurant
03:00you have to cut up their food
03:01and make sure they're eating their food first
03:03oh my gosh
03:03dealing with other parents' opinions about your parenting
03:06I could go on
03:08now before all of the parents come for me in the comments
03:10about how much they love their kid
03:12I'm not saying you don't love your kid
03:14and it's not the best thing that you've ever done
03:16and you wouldn't change it
03:17all I'm saying is that for some people
03:19it is already hard enough
03:21going through life
03:22taking care of ourselves
03:23and being overstimulated in the world
03:26that we cannot fathom
03:27being responsible for another human
03:29So I thought that for many reasons
03:32and as at the end
03:35I was just looking at something
03:36like this
03:36I wouldn't be able to get a孩
03:38but I thought that was not been stopped
03:39through life
03:40but I thought that was not just
03:41I haven't noticed
03:41that remember
03:44the lingo
03:46and this 아직 an other
03:47went through life
03:48so I envision
03:48just like 3 p screaming
03:50and we need
03:51it's also
03:52before the pain
03:56get rid of the pain
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