00:00Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the least impressive songwriters
00:10in music history.
00:17Number 10.
00:18Sean Combs Known by such absurd stage names as Diddy,
00:23Sean Combs' style was once referred to by Blender Magazine as hip-hop corniness.
00:33He's been frequently criticized for inserting himself into Biggie Smalls' tracks, ruining
00:38them according to a number of independent critics.
00:41His occasional yeahs and ha-ha's were greatly unwanted.
00:45In his own career, having a quick glance at his early work and track Been Around the World,
00:50he regaled us with such lines as, I'm the macaroni with the cheese.
01:00He seemed to be more qualified as a producer than a lyricist, but with disturbing allegations
01:05coming to light in 2024, he's effectively finished in the industry.
01:16Number 9.
01:17Chad Krueger – Nickelback Ah, Nickelback, the Canadian rock band everyone
01:28loves to hate, but secretly enjoys in a windows-up car.
01:33This isn't about guitar riffs and loud vocals, however, it's about lyrics.
01:43So let's have a look at at least one popular tune and one lesser-known disaster composed
01:48by Chad Krueger.
01:502005's Photograph begins, look at this photograph, every time I do it makes me laugh.
02:02At least there's heart in that song, unlike trashy ballads like Animals and Sex.
02:07Pure nausea, Mr. Krueger.
02:15Number 8.
02:16Lil Yachty Perhaps the only rapper with a nautical title,
02:20Lil Yachty is often featured on the tracks of others, likely for good reasons.
02:31We can't quote most of his tracks here due to an abundance of sexual lyrics that are
02:36just plain gross.
02:44He notoriously made a mistake on the track Peek-A-Boo, in which he referred to his partner
02:48performing an act on him like a cello, which he thought was a woodwind instrument.
02:59The same album, Teenage Emotions, showed his mature side with such lines as You Stinky
03:05and Dirty, like farts.
03:14Number 7.
03:15Lil Wayne Lil Wayne has had his clever moments when it
03:19comes to lyrics, but he's also definitely had some duds.
03:28This is likely because he hasn't written down any lyrics in over 20 years.
03:33Sometimes it's better to write stuff down and re-read it before performing.
03:37Here are a few lyrical failures, in our opinion.
03:40In this 2013 gem, I Am Not A Human Being, he alluded to getting intimate with a shark.
03:52Not sure how he survived that marine tryst.
03:55Another 2013 classic came in the track Wowsers, in which he likened certain body parts to
04:01car parts.
04:02That doesn't sound very romantic.
04:05There are others, of course, but they're mostly all about Lil Wayne's Lil Wayne.
04:09We're good leaving it at that.
04:16Number 6.
04:17Pat Monahan, Train The band Train was formed in 1993 and has
04:22been cranking out the weird lyrics ever since.
04:29Drops Of Jupiter is a prime example for lines like,
04:32Can you imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken?
04:35What does poultry have to do with anything?
04:402009's Hey Soul Sister showed no improvements, with such fine examples as,
04:49Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains.
04:53Hey, that Mr. Mister on the radio, Stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know.
05:01For the former, yuck, did she just kiss an open head wound?
05:04For the latter, Mr. rhymes with sister, so it's perfect.
05:08Mr. Mister was a 1980's rock band with a couple of corny hits, which would logically
05:13have some influence on Pat Monahan's songwriting.
05:20Number 5.
05:22Pitbull
05:23Sometimes it's all about the beats.
05:26Pitbull is a shining example of this.
05:28Just dance, don't listen to the words.
05:34Pitbull's songs favor one common theme among many of the pseudo-poets on this list, womanizing.
05:42His 2012 song, Don't Stop The Party, is about not stopping the party.
05:47It features such gems as Zigga Zigga Ziggazow, who got the keys of the world now.
05:54Can't think of what to say?
05:55How about nonsense?
05:57Take the give me everything line.
06:04Why search for a rhyme when you can just… not?
06:11Number 4.
06:12Paul Stanley, Kiss
06:14Blender Magazine placed Kiss frontman Paul Stanley as the 7th worst lyricist of all time
06:19out of 40.
06:25The thing is, Kiss is more about the spectacle than it is about the poetry, right?
06:30The flashing lights and the pyrotechnics distract from the poorly worded tunes.
06:35Stanley provided the lyrics for the tune Love Gun.
06:38It's a delightfully creepy classic.
06:45Another gem, Let's Put The X In Sex, gave us the fine chorus, Baby Let's Put The X
06:51In Sex.
06:53There's also something about black lace underwear, of course.
06:58Kiss puts on a hell of a show.
07:00Don't expect refined wordsmithry.
07:10Number 3.
07:11Bob Merrill Some lyricists are exclusively behind the
07:14scenes, as was the case with Bob Merrill.
07:17Despite some arguably terrible lyrics, he saw much success in the 1950s.
07:28He co-wrote 1948's If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake.
07:33It's about a woman who would have baked a cake had she known you were coming.
07:37He also wrote How Much Is That Doggie In The Window, which traumatized people in the 1950s
07:43with its overplaying on the radio.
07:50It did introduce the now widely used adjective, waggly.
07:54Merrill also wrote for Barbra Streisand.
07:56People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.
08:00What?
08:01One more notable tune he penned is Mambo Italiano, an ode to Italian stereotypes.
08:14Number 2.
08:15Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit Fred Durst sounds like he emerged from an
08:20overcrowded frat house in the mid-1990s to front Limp Bizkit.
08:29Durst apparently named the band so because he wanted a name that would repel listeners.
08:33Well, the lyrics are also repellent.
08:39Get ready to ponder the existential side of life with such tunes as Livin' It Up, in
08:44which he claims to be a starfish and refuses a smoke.
08:48And less abstract songs like No Sex, Nookie, and Break Stuff won't exactly woo the ladies.
08:53Durst isn't exactly the classiest poet out there.
09:18Number 1.
09:21Will.i.am, The Black Eyed Peas The entire reason Will.i.am is number one
09:27can be summed up in one song, My Humps.
09:34The song opens with the important question of what a lady will do with all that junk
09:39inside her trunk.
09:48There's no sexier word than hump or lump for that matter.
09:52They rhyme so perfectly with dump, which is where this song belongs.
09:57That's just one of many cheesy party anthems Will.i.am penned for the Black Eyed Peas.
10:05He has also written songs for an alarming number of other artists, such as Mariah Carey
10:10and Hilary Duff.
10:11But hey, he tried to make lumps sexy and not just a worrisome medical condition.
10:16That's admirable.
10:25Who gets your vote for the worst lyricist of all time?
10:28Let us know in the comments.
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