00:00My dad was given six months to live. He died a month and a half later. We were still in process
00:05of setting up hospice as he passed. Hospice helped him even though we hadn't done all of
00:09the paperwork yet. This is a very common story and I think people are often misled when they hear
00:16that somebody went on hospice and they lived for a year or they lived for two years or you can be
00:20on hospice for years and years when the reality is 90% of hospice patients will die within six
00:27months and many will die within weeks or even days of their admission to hospice. There's
00:32nothing wrong with hoping that your person on hospice is going to be one of the few who lives
00:37more than six months or for a year or years but again the reality is the majority of people who
00:43go on to hospice will die within six months and I think it's important to recognize that
00:49so that you really are able to embrace each and every moment that you have with that person as
00:54if it were their last because death is unpredictable and tomorrow is never promised.
00:59This is called anticipatory grief. This is when you are anticipating the death of your person
01:05and after some time you just start to wish it would be over and that feels wrong on so many
01:11levels because you are wishing for the person who you love to die. You're wishing and waiting
01:18for their life to be over and that just does not feel good inside. Then after you die it's like a
01:23double whammy. You have been waiting for them to die and then they did and now you feel like you
01:30caused it to happen because you wished it would be over. You're normal. It's anticipatory grief
01:35and it's really really normal. So so many of my patients families were in that position where they
01:41just they just needed for it to be over and then when it was they felt so much guilt that they had
01:49wished their person's life away and believe it or not you didn't because
01:56they were going to die with or without the feelings that you had about them dying.
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