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Falguni Nayar on overcoming mom guilt
Brut India
Follow
1/11/2025
"There is a lot of guilt with young kids." Falguni Nayar, the founder of Nykaa, opened up about how spending less time with children leads to mom guilt.
Category
🛠️
Lifestyle
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
There is a lot of guilt with young kids
00:02
that you're not spending time, even if you're spending quality time.
00:05
I have seen such fantastic, intelligent women,
00:08
my friends give up their work because they just felt too guilty and they give up.
00:13
Guilt as a mother stays for a very long time.
00:18
I was just unsure of how to work with the guilt that came along with being a working mom.
00:25
See, guilt as a mother stays for a very long time
00:28
till finally when the kids grow up and then everybody starts saying,
00:32
okay, you didn't do such a bad job.
00:35
So I think that takes a long time.
00:37
Unknowingly also friends who are your biggest supporter also,
00:41
I had lots of friends who really supported me.
00:43
I lived in US and London and these girls were my big support system,
00:48
picking up kids after work if I couldn't pick them up if I was traveling.
00:52
And still they would always say, because they could see kids waiting for me.
00:56
So they would always say, can you not come back a little earlier?
00:59
And you always feel that people don't get it.
01:02
People don't get what exactly is keeping you away.
01:08
But I think with Advaita also what I saw was that
01:13
I can say that I'm both a tough boss and a tough mother
01:16
because I threw new business at her right in the middle of the pregnancy.
01:20
And she's like, mom, why are you giving it to me now?
01:24
And I said, no, I know you can do it.
01:26
So she's been able to handle a lot during pregnancy and even now.
01:34
So it's been good.
01:35
So mom guilt is a huge millennial.
01:41
I mean, it's been there forever.
01:43
But for us millennials, it's become even bigger.
01:46
It's become even bigger, right?
01:48
Did you go through it?
01:49
How did you manage it?
01:51
I think the issue is that when you have young children,
01:54
that's when your career is also at its peak demand on you, right?
01:58
So both things are happening.
01:59
Like one used to travel.
02:01
I used to travel extensively.
02:03
And I remember, you know, I would come back home late at night
02:06
and early morning I'd be flying off.
02:08
And Advaita would have said, sign here, sign here, sign here.
02:10
So the children also grow up and take a lot of responsibility.
02:14
But so there is a lot of guilt with young kids
02:17
that you're not spending time, even if you're spending quality time.
02:20
I used to keep telling myself that, yeah, I know I'm spending quality time.
02:24
But how do I compete with a mother who's also spending quality time
02:28
and still giving a lot more time?
02:29
So and there are enough examples of all types of mothers at school
02:33
who are there 100% of the time.
02:35
So you're always comparing.
02:37
And it's a long term thing, I think.
02:41
And it doesn't get easy.
02:43
You know, I use this word called little, you know, English word is stubborn.
02:47
But I love the Hindi word for it is little jiddi.
02:50
You really need to be jiddi about what you want to achieve at work
02:52
for you to overcome that guilt and say, no, this matters to me.
02:56
And I need to do because I have seen such fantastic, intelligent women.
03:00
My friends give up their work because they just felt too guilty and they give up.
03:05
And now they regret that they didn't take it forward in their work.
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