00:00So, I went through a lot of dark times when my grandparents passed.
00:07I tried to kill myself the day they called.
00:10If I didn't even call, it was on someone's WhatsApp status that I saw that my granddad had passed.
00:13We were shooting King of Boys then.
00:15I was literally in the best place in my career at the time.
00:18I was in the movie that was going to break me out.
00:21And then I'm losing my parents, the people I want to impress.
00:26But then, accepting that, you know what?
00:29Now my story will be this.
00:32How do I move forward?
00:35Because, my darling, you will see that there's nowhere lower than this.
00:39Like, this thing that has happened to you, there's nothing that anybody wants to do to her that can hurt her more than that.
00:45Which now takes me to where my mental space is of, if I don't experience this thing already, right?
00:51Why don't I choose better?
00:54Life has given me a hard blow.
00:57Okay, I've accepted it.
00:59But what I would give back into life, what I would give back into the universe, is I would constantly be good.
01:05So that the laws of nature are forced to send good back to me.
01:09Because you would look at that, things have hurt you, things have hurt you.
01:13And you see that there's a lot of hurt inside you.
01:15Do you know that when you choose to be better, you keep winning?
01:20You keep winning.
01:21And just look at it like there's a dark ball.
01:23And for every time you do better, you keep pumping light, you keep pumping light.
01:27And one day it would be 360.
01:29I know how I stayed away from friends.
01:31I had toxic friends that did shit to me.
01:33I had a best friend that I accommodated for four years, that didn't have a job, but she was sleeping with my boyfriend.
01:40That I got him to hire.
01:43And I was in a very, like, I was experiencing grief and having that reality.
01:48And I was like, I still have to choose.
01:51I closed off people, I closed people off.
01:54And then when I started to feel better in my life, I started to intentionally give, choose my friends, pick my friends.
02:02I would look at you and see how intentional are you about being better.
02:06That's why you see me and Charles, we've been friends for many years.
02:09And it is because I see the energy that I want.
02:14I'm not going to see someone that wants to be a bad person and say I want to fix you.
02:17I'm not Jesus.
02:18Stay where you are.
02:19But you see that intentional, the need that you make personal commitments to be better.
02:25That is what God has set you apart for.
02:28He needed you to experience that depth of pain.
02:32So that when you are going to give better into the universe, people would wonder how did you have that capacity.
02:39Like, see you asking me questions now, and then see what Joan is saying.
02:44If she didn't say it, you'd be a bad person to think that kind of thing.
02:49But it's her reality.
02:50But she has chosen to be better.
02:53And now even experiencing all what we're saying, at some point something random will happen where it will strike her that
03:00instead of feeling this way, I'm going to apply myself this way.
03:04And she will talk to somebody else, and then the person will share their own pain.
03:07And she will share her experience and something she's learned from here.
03:11And that's how we will keep spreading the good.
03:13But if you don't take that intentional step to be better for yourself, and waiting for somebody to come and save you,
03:20you'll never get better.
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