00:00I am the officer that is married to someone in prison.
00:05I got to be the only officer in the world
00:07who got proposed to in jail.
00:09Some of the officers,
00:10they don't know which side of the law I am on.
00:12I was 30 years young when I got my pension.
00:15I get paid a lifetime,
00:17so it would definitely support me and my husband
00:20when he gets out of prison.
00:21My friends would give bad advice
00:23and tell me don't be with somebody in prison.
00:26I started sharing my story online
00:28because the world needed to know.
00:29The judgment that I face is,
00:31you stupid for marrying an inmate,
00:32you're an inmate lover.
00:34They was very crazy.
00:38I visit Jonathan every weekend.
00:41It takes me about 12 hours total,
00:44six hours going, six hours coming.
00:47They banned me.
00:48They're tired of me coming.
00:49Some of them don't like I'm an officer.
00:51And then once my suspension is up,
00:53I go right back.
00:54My name is Tamika and I am the prison officer
00:58that is married to an inmate.
01:00I met Jonathan when we were kids.
01:02We grew up in the same neighborhood.
01:04He was just a little boy who always had a crush on me.
01:07We went our separate ways.
01:08Jonathan ended up going to prison.
01:10Jonathan was sentenced to 25 years to life,
01:13but he's eligible for parole and he has about 11 left.
01:16Me and Jonathan reconnected
01:18because he wrote a love letter
01:20and he sent it to a mutual friend.
01:22It was 14 years since I last seen or spoke to Jonathan.
01:26It was like, oh my God.
01:28After all these years, he still remember me.
01:31He still love me.
01:33At that moment, I was still at work,
01:35so I was afraid to respond back to him.
01:37I contacted Jonathan.
01:39He just said, I'm happy after all these years.
01:42You finally giving me another chance
01:44and we made it official to be with each other.
01:47The visit is eight hours and it's worth it.
01:49I can't wait to kiss my husband.
01:51I can't wait to just have that love and warmth in my presence.
01:55The first meeting with him was insane
01:57because the same inmates that I had in my custody
02:00and I was mean to were the same inmates I seen
02:03that's locked up with my husband.
02:05When I visit Jonathan in prison,
02:07some of the officers' reaction,
02:09they're like a little bit confused
02:10because they don't know which side of the law I am on.
02:14They be like, oh, she's married to an inmate,
02:17but she's also one of us.
02:19Because if they do something wrong,
02:20they think I'm going to report them.
02:21And the inmates react to,
02:23it's like gossip and news for them, like tease.
02:27Hey guys, as you guys already know,
02:29I am the officer that is married to someone in prison.
02:34Hey guys, as you guys already know,
02:36I am the officer that is married to someone in prison.
02:41I started sharing my story online
02:43because I felt like I had a very unique story
02:46and I felt like the world needed to know
02:48it's okay to love who you want to love.
02:50So this video here is about
02:52staying with your man in prison.
02:54Stay with him.
02:55Do not leave your man in jail
02:57for somebody that's out here.
02:59I had over 61,000 views,
03:01over 517 comments.
03:03When my first video went viral,
03:06I just was happy to impact other people
03:09who may be going through the same thing.
03:11The judgment that I faced when I started my relationship is
03:14he's going to take your pension,
03:15he's going to get everything that you got.
03:17What side of the law are you on?
03:19You a bad officer.
03:21The Department of Correction should have never hired you.
03:24You stupid for marrying an inmate.
03:26You're an inmate lover.
03:27They was just very crazy.
03:31I'm definitely isolated.
03:33I feel like I can't have any friends
03:35because my friends will judge me.
03:38And they will also give bad advice
03:40and tell me don't be with somebody in prison.
03:42Yes, I respond sometimes.
03:44Very seldom though.
03:45I would just put an emoji like a bird in the brain
03:48and call him a bird brain.
03:50Some of the comments I received online was,
03:52I know your officers hate you.
03:55That's dope though.
03:56You married your soulmate.
03:57That's right.
03:58Fight for your husband.
03:59Hearing comments from people who say I helped them
04:02with my story makes me feel like I made the right choice
04:05as being an officer and married to someone in prison.
04:08Like I did what I was supposed to do.
04:14I'm going to show you all a picture
04:15because I got the picture.
04:17This is Jonathan actually proposing to me in jail.
04:22Like I got to be the only officer in the world
04:24who got proposed to in jail.
04:26This is us getting married.
04:28Jonathan write me at least like 10 times in a day.
04:32So this letter said, hey, my crush,
04:35you got me feeling like a kid all over again
04:37and sent me some kisses.
04:39When I was an officer,
04:41I definitely had a different view on prison relationships.
04:44I honestly thought all girls are stupid
04:47for coming to a jail,
04:49crying over a man that can't even take them
04:51to a restaurant to eat.
04:53I thought their self-esteem was low,
04:55but obviously that's not the case.
04:58When I visit Jonathan,
05:00we don't really get any privacy
05:02because again, I'm an officer
05:04and I'm coming to a facility.
05:06Always surveillance cameras
05:07and officers sitting us right in front of their desk.
05:10It's not tough because we make it work.
05:12We're still going to hug each other.
05:13He probably still won't give me some hickeys.
05:15I started the Department of Corrections in 2015.
05:19That job was very tough.
05:21You are around some of the worst criminals
05:24in the city of New York all day.
05:27They call you names at times.
05:29Your coworkers are just as foul as the inmates.
05:32So you're in an environment
05:34where you don't know who to trust.
05:36I decided to leave
05:37because I seen a lot of injustice go on.
05:41This is what correction officers wear on duty to work.
05:44We use a snap tie so that we don't get choked.
05:47This is our badge that we must wear.
05:49These are the signs that I made.
05:52That's me and my husband in prison.
05:54This is our book that we wrote called Common Love.
05:57I use these signs to bring awareness
05:59to my husband's case, to injustice, to the system,
06:02and just to my experience as being an officer
06:05and married to someone in prison.
06:07I absolutely do not miss working in corrections
06:09because I got everything that there is to have.
06:12I got a pension, and I'm able to love my husband.
06:15I worked at the Department of Corrections
06:175 1â2 years before I got my pension.
06:19I was 30 years young.
06:21I get paid a lifetime,
06:23so it would definitely support me and my husband
06:26when he gets out of prison.
06:28Oh, that's him, that's him.
06:30He's calling.
06:32This is a prepaid collect call from...
06:36Copy.
06:38Hi, you!
06:42I love you!
06:44What's up, babe?
06:47You gotta hang in there.
06:49You gotta continue to be strong.
06:51You gotta keep your head up and know, like,
06:53there's nothing you can't overcome
06:55that we can't overcome together.
06:57What's something you really want to do
06:59when you come home together as husband and wife?
07:08Oh, you want to get in the tub?
07:13Ooh!
07:15Babe, it's coming, it's coming.
07:17So, Jonathan, how did you feel when you first met Topeka?
07:29Thank you for being, like, so great for me, husband.
07:33Thank you for, like, believing in me
07:35to have your back.
07:37I love you.
07:38I love you, too.
07:39I love you, I love you, I love you.
07:43Ooh!
07:45Jonathan have changed my life for the better
07:47because he made me a wife,
07:50and I don't take that for granted.
07:52He's my greatest blessing.
07:54To the people who judge me,
07:57look in the mirror.
07:59Go judge yourself.
08:05I love you.
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