00:00She broke my heart, absolutely destroyed it.
00:07I never imagined her out of my life.
00:10I imagined her being my maid of honor when we got married.
00:14I imagined her being the godmother of my kids.
00:18I imagined growing old with her.
00:21I had this running joke that when we get old and we get into
00:24a retirement home, we will just race down the hallways in our
00:29wheelchairs.
00:45It hurts because you miss that person.
00:47And for me personally, it hurts the most because she decided
00:50to ghost me instead of talk to me about it.
00:54After that, I went through a big depression and I went through
00:56the most painful experience of my life.
01:00I started paying attention to my own toxic traits and the
01:03behaviors and the beliefs that I had and I just had enough.
01:08I went through hell putting myself back together because I
01:11felt completely shattered and broken.
01:13I did not trust anyone.
01:14I didn't trust anyone.
01:16No friends.
01:16I didn't, I didn't want any friends in my life.
01:18I didn't trust anyone.
01:20I was so vulnerable with her and then she just decided to
01:23disappear out of my life completely.
01:25And that absolutely broke me.
01:42I think about her every day, but I also think about the fact
01:45that I healed from that experience.
01:47I also think about how I would go through that breakup all
01:50over again just to get to where I am now.
01:52I love myself so much.
01:54I have so much more confidence.
01:56I now have incredible friends that I know deserve to be in
02:00my company.
02:01I have an incredible boyfriend that goes beyond, beyond, above
02:06and beyond.
02:06I loved her, but this wasn't the first time that she ghosted
02:10me.
02:11She ghosted me many a times and I had to go through therapy
02:14to relive the trauma and with my therapist, she kind of made
02:19me realize like her behaviors were repeated patterns.
02:24It wasn't like, oh, she ghosted me out of the blue.
02:26No, she's been ghosting me.
02:29I've just been allowing her in my life over and over and
02:33over again and forgiving her instead of being like, I don't
02:36deserve this.
02:36I don't deserve a best friend that just pops in and out of
02:39my life whenever she pleases, whenever she's bored, whenever
02:43she broke up with a guy, whenever the guy's like busy.
02:47I loved her, but I love myself more now.
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