The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien In The Year 3000 June 3, 2009

Watch The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien In The Year 3000 June 3, 2009 - Kristofer Eisenmann on Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00All right, everybody, we're back. Such a good show tonight. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is here.

00:14Bradley Cooper is here from The Hangover. Sheryl Crow. I mean, we got a lot to do. We

00:20can't waste a lot of time, so I think we should cut right to the chase. Ladies and gentlemen,

00:23I think it's time. We haven't done this in a while, but I think it's time we look into

00:29the future. The future, Conan? That's right, Andy Richter, old chum. Let's look to the

00:38future. All the way to the year 2000. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're not still

00:48calling it the year 2000, are you? Yeah, that's what we always called it all those years on

00:54late night. Yeah, but it's 2009. I mean, you never changed the name after I left. I thought

01:02I was lazy. Okay, fine. We won't say the year 2000. Oh, no, it's okay. It's good. And you're

01:11not still wearing those same ratty old smocks, are you? No, okay, fine. No more year 2000. No

01:23more lame smocks. Instead, Andy, I think it's time we look into the future. The real future,

01:35Conan? The distant future, Andy, old pal. All the way to the year 3000.

01:53To the year 3000. To the year 3000.

02:23These cost a lot of money. They kind of smell bad. Yeah, I know. Start me up again there,

02:36Richie. In the year 3000. In the year 3000. President Obama will reverse his position on

02:50waterboarding after the CIA demonstrates it's the most effective way to keep Joe Biden from

02:55talking. In the year 3000. Dodgers fans will suspect that slugger Manny Ramirez is again

03:06taking female hormones when during afternoon games he demands the Jumbotron be turned to Oprah. In

03:15the year 3000. The ShamWow guy will reveal he's not the real ShamWow guy, but actually a sham

03:26ShamWow guy. In the year 3000. Jesus will return to earth, but due to the bad economy, will be

03:39forced to lay off seven of the twelve apostles. In the year 3000. Spencer Pratt will be declared

03:51the winner of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. After it's renamed, I'm a Douchebag,

03:56Leave Me Here. In the year 3000. A long lasting peace deal is brokered in the Middle East when

04:09the Palestinians agreed to help the Jews move out in exchange for beer and pizza. In the year 3000. A

04:21movie will be made about the NBC primetime lineup called Land of the Last. In the year 3000. GM will

04:35still not understand how to make cars America wants, as evidenced by the debut of the new

04:41Chevrolet Scrotum. Just the future. The producers of So You Think You Can Dance will create a far

05:08more challenging show, So You Think You Can Spend 10 Minutes in a Strolled Elevator with Gary Busey. In the year 3000.

05:20Matthew McConaughey will star in a new movie, playing Arctic explorer Robert Perry during his quest to reach the

05:27North Pole. McConaughey will be shirtless the entire film. In the year 3000. YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will

05:40merge to form one super time-wasting website called YouTwitFace. In the year 3000. All right, everybody, we'll take a break. When we come back,

05:55we'll see you in a second.