00:00Hi everybody, this is David Cross. This is the Wired Autocomplete Interview.
00:10Does David Cross? Occasionally, if I'm really drunk and not self-aware,
00:17then I can occasionally, but I'll clean it up.
00:22Here we go. Does David Cross have a podcast? Yes, he does. It's called
00:28Sense is Working Overtime. It's great. I actually really enjoy it. And it's just me having a
00:34conversation with really interesting, funny people. That's all. There's no bullshit thing
00:39that we're trying to hang around it. And I'm a pretty good talker and a good listener. I am.
00:45I'll listen to you. What do you have to say? Does David Cross, I think I explained this,
00:51yeah, and I had it removed when I was, still do standup. How dare you? I'm on motherfucking
00:59tour right now. I don't know when this comes out, but I'm about to go out on tour. Okay,
01:03this will be my 10th international tour. Yes, I do standup. It's not the kind of standup that
01:10gets nominated for Emmys, but it'll get its occasional Grammy. Better to listen to than,
01:16I guess, watch it on TV. Does David Cross write music? I did Clair de Lune. I guess that's one of
01:22my more famous pieces. And I wrote, oh, I did. I should say I wrote all Lil Xan's stuff, which is
01:29easy. I do that in my sleep. Does David Cross have more awards? Oh, I don't. I don't. Do I
01:42have more awards? I have less. Than Disney. Yes, I do. The Walt Disney Company and their subsidiaries,
01:50last time I checked, they had over 1,262 awards. And I have more than four. I have five. That's
02:00less than Disney. That's less than Disney. Next board. I do want to note that that is a very
02:10strange search to come up. Is this some dude named Disney that's not Walt Disney? Does David
02:15Cross have more awards than Jeffrey Disney? Yes, he does. Oh, yeah, like five more. David Cross,
02:23Amber Tamblyn. So we are going to celebrate our 13th anniversary, but we've been together for,
02:29I don't want to say too long, but a long time. And I love her, and she's pretty awesome,
02:34and she's the, she's the mother of my child. David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. Bob and I have
02:40been married for, Bob is one of my best friends. Bob and I just got back literally a couple weeks
02:49ago from climbing Machu Picchu, hiking the Inca Trail, which was quite difficult. We might have
02:54taken some cameras along. I'm not going to say nothing. Now, Bob has more awards than me.
03:02Uh, not more awards than Disney, but he, Bob does. Uh, and, and, and, well, he should,
03:08you know? He's a good guy. One of the funniest, smartest, most decent people I know. David Cross,
03:16first headshot. I'm a sniper. I'm not, I don't know how much I'm clear to say. David Cross
03:22in Scary Movie. I think you mean Scary Movie 2. Outside of Alvin and the Chipmunks, probably my
03:29most recognized role, so not all bad. Thank you. What's your name? Sonia. Sonia. Sonia's doing a
03:38great job. How would you say I'm doing for all the, the times that you passed, uh, the boards over?
03:45I think you've done the best. Really? Yeah. You're not just saying that? Maybe
03:48Gillian Anderson would blow it better. Oh, fuck you. Go to hell. Gillian,
03:53Gillian Anderson did better. I love the idea of, I love the idea of doing better. Okay. David Cross,
04:01Tobias. Yes. Um, I played the part of Tobias Menzies, who's a British actor in the Tobias
04:10Menzies story. I'm significantly older than him, so it's, it was weird, but I, hair and makeup,
04:16you know, prosthetics and everything. It didn't do well, uh, in the States. Not many people are
04:22familiar with him. And in the, in the UK, and I'm looking forward to another role, uh, where the
04:29character is named Tobias. It can be anything, uh, any Tobias, you know, whatever, make it funky. David
04:35Cross, tattoos. I have a couple of tattoos. You can sort of see some poking through. This is the
04:45cover of my favorite book, which is Masters of Atlantis, the original artwork. That's a, uh,
04:51kosher pig who is giving you his own barbecue. And then this is, uh, Hitler being spanked. It's
04:58like a, uh, a Fleischer Hitler being spanked by an Old Testament God. And his, he, Hitler is crying
05:06and his tears are forming the clouds, which, you know, rain create the water that, um, so that,
05:14that creates our bounty in America, our crops. So that's my, that's how religion works. David
05:19Cross, the Strokes. Strokes are, uh, some friends of mine. We all met back in that scene where
05:27everybody hung out together and we all went to the same seven, eight bars and did, everybody did
05:33shows and, uh, and we just got friendly. They're friendly with other comedians. I'm friends with
05:39other bands. It's cool. It's polyamorous, love their music and love their shows. Julian kissed
05:45me not once, but twice. How about that? I was very surprised, taking it back. Uh, didn't mind it.
05:51This is pre-beard. You understand. Ow! It took, it took a long time for the, okay. David Cross.
06:00Umbrella Academy. It was one of those things that happens occasionally where I was a Friday
06:06evening and I got this call and I was on a plane on Monday morning to go to production
06:12here in wardrobe. I hadn't seen the show, but I was, uh, uh, I was aware of it and I knew it was a,
06:17uh, much loved show. Went, shot a scene and met everybody. Everybody was, uh, the whole cast was
06:24there. Then on a break, I was home and my wife and I started to watch it and, uh, immediately hooked.
06:32It's smart. It's, you're never ahead of it. You're all kinds of questions. You're trying to figure
06:37stuff out. Just watch it. David Cross. Waiting for Guffman. Yes, that was, uh, one of the first
06:43things I did. One of the few people I, I would call a genius. One of the few people I knew that
06:48I would call a genius. Guy named Joe Frank did these kind of radio plays. Play isn't the right
06:54word. And he asked me to do one of his things. So I did this thing. It's called, it's like the final
06:59ride or the last ride or something like that. But I did O, OJ Simpson's manservant, um, who was
07:06with him in the back of the Bronco. It was, well, there was no YouTube. So people passed this, uh,
07:13tape around or the CD. And, um, and, and in Hollywood, especially it became kind of known
07:19because Joe Frank's stuff was off, uh, out of KCRW in, in Santa Monica. It's on a Beastie Boys
07:24album. It's been sampled. Um, and it kind of made its way around. And then Christopher Guest,
07:30who was putting Waiting for Guffman together, wanted to meet the guy who did that. David Cross.
07:36Yeah. Yeah. Uh, chicken pot pie. Uh, so chicken pot pie was a thing that I said, uh, in an episode
07:46of Just Shoot Me from, I believe it aired in 1892. You know, the line was, I just rifted.
07:53I went, chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie. People loved it. They still do. I don't get
07:58it. I don't. It became, you know, the thing that people would point at me and say, you know,
08:05chicken pot pie. And, uh, and, uh, at the airport or whatever, or maybe I'm on the phone and my
08:11girlfriend's breaking up with me and I'm starting to cry and people go, hey, do chicken pot pie.
08:16I'll, I'll be abroad. I'll be in fucking China and people, it's crazy. Yeah. I don't get it.
08:23Not that funny. Here it is. Ready? Where did David Cross grow up? Some would say I haven't
08:30really finished growing up, but the bulk of my growing up was in Georgia, Roswell, Georgia,
08:37a suburb of Atlanta. Although back when I was there, it was very rural. I didn't say redneck.
08:43I didn't say that. I said rural. I was born in Georgia and moved around a bunch all over Florida,
08:48Connecticut, New York, then moved back when I was nine and then stayed there until I was 19.
08:54Is David Cross, I'm homeless. Oh, uh, in GTA San Andreas. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Uh, and I would,
09:05first of all, apologize because by far easily the most annoying and difficult missions are
09:12my characters. I can't remember the characters named. My character was like nerdy and annoying,
09:17an annoying voice, which, which is fine if you're going to breeze right through the thing.
09:22But if you have to constantly hear the voice berate, and I'm playing it. It's the model
09:27airplane mission that took forever. And I have to listen to myself berating me. David Cross.
09:35David Cross. Halo two quotes. I have no idea. I mean, I played it when it came out. What are
09:41we on? Like Halo 104 at this point. So I don't know what they are. Maybe you do. Oh, maybe the
09:48internet does. Google it. Was David Cross in Aqua Team Hunger Force? Yes, I was. I reprised the
09:56character of, I want to say Happy Time Harry. I think that was it. Just a morose, suicidal,
10:03nihilistic, you know, jerk, which fits in that world. Oh, that's all the boards. What'd you
10:11think of them till next time? Why would there be a next time? I'll see you in 2028.
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