00:00Let's go.
00:20Hello and welcome to..
00:21Sir, Kapil Sharma Show.
00:26Mr. Chitra, did you see how confidently I spoke?
00:29Yes.
00:30Your confidence was weak.
00:31Have a pill of strength.
00:34I'll give it to you.
00:37Forget the pill. You can abuse me. I'm telling you.
00:43It's time to celebrate.
00:44Our poster is going to be released.
00:46Give me sweets. Why are you abusing me?
00:48Congratulations.
00:49Congratulations. Come on, put up the poster.
00:51The poster is going to be released.
00:53Put up the poster.
01:00Hey!
01:01Yes.
01:02Why did you put up my photo?
01:04Why did you bring it out?
01:05Sir, someone is worthy of being seen in the poster.
01:08Who has come to see him?
01:11He's talking as if he's got diamonds on his face.
01:15Look at his face.
01:17Our poster is going to be released.
01:19Of course.
01:20Kapil Sharma will interview us after that.
01:23Of course.
01:24We'll have to practice after that.
01:27Of course.
01:28I don't want Kapil Sharma to get nervous during the interview.
01:34I'll do one thing.
01:36I'll come from there.
01:37You welcome me with the greatness that I want to show.
01:40Give me a round of applause.
01:41Okay?
01:43Let's practice.
01:45So, let's welcome Dr. Mushoor Gulati with a big round of applause.
01:51He's gone crazy.
01:54I'm having a lot of fun.
01:56Doctor, we're not interviewing a mad man.
01:58You're sitting like a doctor.
01:59I'm sitting like a doctor with a syringe in my hand.
02:02What is this, doctor?
02:03How do doctors sit?
02:04Don't they have a special qualification to sit?
02:07What nonsense is this?
02:08Doctor, you're sitting like a proper celebrity.
02:11What did you say? Interview.
02:13So, doctor, you're a very famous doctor.
02:17Your name is also famous.
02:18You're running such a big hospital.
02:20Have you ever thought that you'll get a chance to interview me?
02:26Not with you.
02:28No.
02:29I thought Kapil Sharma would interview me.
02:32Call your boss.
02:37Doctor, I..
02:38Look at him.
02:42He's coming from here like no one is watching him.
02:49Everyone can see him.
02:52He's sitting like this. No one can see him.
02:54Hello, doctor.
02:56Yes, interview.
02:59Doctor, if you talk to me like this
03:01I'll pour boiling tea on you.
03:03Do one thing.
03:04If you take it from any other shop, it won't be good for your shop.
03:07I won't come.
03:12Ask him a question.
03:13Doctor, give an interview in a proper way.
03:16You're a celebrity.
03:17Okay?
03:18Sorry.
03:19You don't even know how to give an interview.
03:21Do one thing.
03:22Take my interview.
03:24I'll take your blood test and interview.
03:29Please, doctor.
03:30Ask him a question. I'll pour tea on you.
03:32Yes, sit.
03:38That's it.
03:40Oh, man.
03:44I'll pour tea on you.
03:45I'll pour tea on you.
03:46I'll pour tea on you.
03:48I'll pour tea on you.
03:49I'll pour tea on you.
03:53Take an interview.
03:54Yes, ask a question.
03:56How dare you sit on the sofa?
04:01What sort of a question is that?
04:02I didn't ask the question but give a good answer.
04:07You go and sit outside the temple and he sits here.
04:10What are you doing here?
04:16He got me.
04:17Come here and talk to me.
04:19Oh, it's you. How are you?
04:23How are you? How dare you sit on the sofa?
04:25You keep telling me. He's sitting on the toilet.
04:27He's sitting on the sofa.
04:29Tell him.
04:33There is a reason behind it.
04:35What?
04:38I...
04:40Put your leg down. Your pant is torn.
04:44Then why do you want to see what's torn?
04:48Reason behind it.
04:49Why are you sitting here?
04:51I'll tell you.
04:52Why are you sitting here?
04:54I'll lie down in two minutes.
04:55Will you come here and sit on my sofa?
04:58Who asks such questions?
05:00I'll tell you.
05:01I'll ask you.
05:02Actually, I have a habit of...
05:09I've made a design of you.
05:12Okay.
05:13Oh, no.
05:14I'll tell you.
05:16Okay.
05:17Wait a minute.
05:19Okay.
05:20Apply it on me too.
05:25What have you done?
05:26Come here.
05:31His spring broke down.
05:33I changed the spring.
05:34I was checking if it was working properly.
05:37What's all this? Posters?
05:38Mr. Sindhu asked me to make a poster.
05:41I told him to print it and he printed it.
05:46These people are liars.
05:47This isn't their poster.
05:48I'll call the people whose posters are different.
05:50Mr. Plot, you don't have to be scared.
05:53We'll call many grandmothers.
05:54It's not a big deal. We'll convince them.
05:56Come on.
05:57I'll convince them.
05:59Come on.
06:04Lines of Bollywood.
06:06Bobby Deol and Sunny Deol, give them a big round of applause.
06:12Sir.
06:15Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
06:17Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
06:19Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
06:21Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
06:24Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
06:26Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
06:28Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
06:30What do we do about him?
06:31Should we beat him up or take him out?
06:32No. No. Listen to me.
06:36Let's sit and talk.
06:38There's no point in beating him up.
06:41If we beat up the doctor, who will look after him?
06:44We'll have to call a doctor.
06:45He's a sensible man. He's right.
06:47Let's sit and talk.
06:48I'm standing here.
06:49I'll sit down. I'm sorry.
06:51Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
06:53I was in a hurry.
06:55You take off your shoes. I'll massage your feet.
06:58Hey! Go.
06:59Get some oil for the day after tomorrow.
07:00Get up.
07:01Doctor, it's not for the day after tomorrow.
07:04It's for the day after tomorrow.
07:05The day after tomorrow was for the day after tomorrow.
07:07Go. Go.
07:08Go.
07:09Sir, I'll massage your feet.
07:11Come on. Come on.
07:13Yes.
07:14By the way, Mr. Bobby and Mr. Sunny..
07:16..their film can be released but not our poster.
07:19Don't you feel ashamed? Don't you feel ashamed?
07:21How did your poster get released?
07:23How did you get something?
07:25No. You can't say such a thing.
07:27Yes. Of course.
07:28What are you doing? Who are you pointing fingers at?
07:30You said something against him.
07:32He doesn't know anything.
07:34He knows only about gambling.
07:36It's not like that.
07:39Doctor..
07:40You're too much.
07:42This is Mr. Siddhu.
07:43It's a lie. It's someone's body.
07:45It's my head.
07:47And..
07:48This is Dr. Mishur Gulati.
07:49And this..
07:50Who is he?
07:51A very famous person.
07:53Whoever he is, he doesn't have my underwear.
07:57He doesn't know how to wear it.
08:00Yes.
08:00Tell me something.
08:01Yes.
08:02You got the poster made.
08:03Yes.
08:03Who will watch it?
08:04Look, we have a strategy for that.
08:06The poster has been released.
08:08It's done.
08:08We'll make a film to promote it.
08:10If people come to watch the film, the poster will be a hit.
08:14Wow.
08:15Who will invest money in your film?
08:17Crowdfunding.
08:20It's not crowdfunding. It's begging.
08:23Get out of here.
08:25Obviously.
08:26We're leaving with respect.
08:27Get out.
08:29Pleasure to have you.
08:32Do it properly.
08:36That's my flexibility.
08:37Oh, very good.
08:38Again?
08:39No, no, no.
08:41If you do, I'll go out of the country.
08:44Yeah, yeah.
08:46Okay, bye.
08:49Let's start the game for Rs. 10.
08:53Okay.
08:55You played Rs. 15 worth of music.
08:56The question is for Rs. 10.
09:00The question is about black money.
09:03How black is black money?
09:10He's asking everything.
09:12Here are your options on your computer screen.
09:15Option A, light black.
09:18Option B, dark black.
09:21Option C, pink black.
09:23Or option D, Amitabh Bachchan's film black.
09:27I remembered a couplet on this question.
09:29I would like to add that.
09:31When a flower blooms, it will bloom.
09:34Wow, wow, wow.
09:36It will bloom, brother.
09:38When a flower blooms, it will bloom.
09:40I have Rs. 2000, when will I get my leave?
09:46Leave it, leave it, leave it.
10:02Wow, wow.
10:03What a stupid couplet.
10:05If tomatoes were cheap, I would have killed the city.
10:08People want to know the answer. Tell me.
10:12People are sitting here, they want to know the answer.
10:15What are you looking at?
10:16People want to know the answer.
10:18Okay, fine.
10:20So tell me.
10:23How black is black money?
10:26Nowadays, all the money has turned white.
10:27There is no black.
10:29Absolutely right answer.
10:31Wait a minute. I am an expert.
10:33I will give my opinion.
10:35I think
10:38the more we keep it in the sun, the more it will turn black.
10:44It is all on sunlight.
10:46Sunlight is very high.
10:46It will turn into tan money, right?
10:49I am getting the note of tan.
10:51It will turn black for India.
10:52It will turn tan for foreigners, right?
10:54Absolutely right.
10:55He is right.
10:56You gave the wrong answer.
10:58You gave the wrong answer.
10:59You would have got the note of 500.
11:01You would have got the note of 500.
11:03You gave the wrong answer.
11:04You should have deposited it in the bank.
11:06Till December 31st.
11:07Because you won't be able to deposit it after that.
11:09What are you saying?
11:10I don't know how to laugh.
11:12Everything is not for laughing.
11:14Some things are said for the country too.
11:19Your dry chickpeas.
11:21What? What did you say?
11:22This is a news.
11:23News. Dry chickpeas.
11:29Oh! Oh!
11:30Oh! Oh!
11:31Oh! Oh!
11:32Oh! Oh!
11:33Why were you in such a vibration mode?
11:36Oh!
11:38Oh!
11:39You have won Rs. 10.
11:41Take this.
11:42Thank you.
11:42One second. Take this Rs. 5.
11:43Thank you.
11:44I will transfer the rest of the money to your account
11:46after seeing your Aadhaar card.
11:51You have won the game.
11:52You have not won a gas cylinder
11:54that you are being subsidised.
11:56Pulling of your women's leg.
12:00Don't pull my women's leg.
12:02If you pull it more, I can even open it.
12:08Let's ask the next question for Rs. 100.
12:10What is Rs. 100?
12:13It will be Rs. 100, right?
12:14Is it Rs. 500?
12:16Rs. 100.
12:17It is Rs. 100.
12:19Rs. 500 is Rs. 50.
12:22You have to fill the blank spot in this question.
12:25When a person is hit by a 2.5 kg hand
12:30the person doesn't get up.
12:32Dash, dash, dash.
12:33Your option is option A.
12:35A 70 kg man becomes 72.5 kg.
12:40Option B.
12:42A man sits on a camel.
12:45Option C.
12:47A man doesn't get up because he has slept late.
12:51Or option D.
12:53He is dead. He is not getting up.
12:55I think this question is wrong.
12:58When a person is hit by a 2.5 kg hand
13:00tell me where, what, LLB or CA
13:06or what does he study?
13:10Tell me.
13:11Or..
13:13The hand wants to become a leg by studying.
13:17What is it?
13:19Why does he study?
13:21Because of your love for Bajirao.
13:23Okay, fine.
13:24Silence.
13:25Okay, silence. I should be silent.
13:27Look, he has an enemy and a gun.
13:29I should be silent. He will lose everything later.
13:33Look, I will say one thing.
13:35I got a hole in my mouth.
13:40I want to know the truth.
13:42I am a very busy man. I have a lot of work.
13:45I have a wedding today.
13:46Why didn't you invite me to your house?
13:48Yes.
13:52Yes, tell me.
14:00Okay, fine.
14:01Shut up.
14:05Answer the question quickly.
14:08You can take an option if you want.
14:10You have a phone and a friend.
14:11If you want to talk to someone, you can talk to Mr. Dharam.
14:15This is Mr. Dharam's phone.
14:17Mr. Dharam, pick up the phone.
14:21You pick up the phone first.
14:22You will know later.
14:24The speaker is on the phone.
14:26Okay.
14:27Tell me, Mr. Dharam.
14:29What is your name, Basanti?
14:31What kind of a stupid question is this?
14:32I called Veeru, but he picked up Jai.
14:35I will call him again.
14:36Mr. Dharam, Mr. Dharam.
14:39I do what I say.
14:42I do what I don't say.
14:43I definitely do that.
14:45Where is he?
14:47You have to show him 50 talents in a 5-minute act.
14:50You fool.
14:52Shut up.
14:57You are Mr. Dharam, Mr. Bachchan, Piddu.
14:59What are you?
15:00I am Sheldar Tendulkar.
15:01Shut up.
15:05Let's hit the question.
15:06The bullet hit the target.
15:08Oh, no.
15:11The next question is for Rs. 1000.
15:17Rs. 1000 is not enough.
15:18The next question is for Rs. 2000.
15:20Here is your computer screen.
15:22You did the first film, Barsaat.
15:25You did Barsaat again.
15:28What was the problem?
15:29You have options.
15:30The first one was a spelling mistake.
15:34Option B, you didn't enjoy it in one go.
15:38Option C, it was raining less for the first time.
15:42Option D, you like mud.
15:47I remembered a poem.
15:50Go ahead.
15:52It happened when I saw that poem.
15:56It was such a big poem.
15:58I believe that was the best line I had ever seen.
16:01You know, it was in a zoo.
16:05I remembered it.
16:08Oh!
16:12Oh!
16:13Tell me, Mr. Bobby, what is your answer?
16:16I made a spelling mistake for the first time.
16:17That's a good answer.
16:19You won Rs. 2000.
16:20Here is your card.
16:21I will swipe it for you.
16:23Oh!
16:25Swipe the card.
16:29You will get the cash tomorrow morning.
16:32What?
16:35I have swiped the card.
16:36You will get the cash tomorrow.
16:38He eats a lot.
16:44The next question is worth Rs. 1 crore.
16:47Here is the money on your computer screen.
16:52There was a song by Mr. Dharam.
16:54It came after the monsoon.
16:56Why did it come after the monsoon?
16:58Your options are..
17:00It came from a local liquor shop.
17:03Oh!
17:05Option B.
17:06There was a wound in Sawan's leg.
17:09Option C.
17:10Sawan was a fan of Shashi Kapoor.
17:13Or Option D.
17:14Sawan was straight but the audience saw a P.
17:17So, he thought it was a tail.
17:24I just remembered a poem on this.
17:27There is an auto behind me.
17:29Oh!
17:30Wow!
17:33There is an auto behind me.
17:35And a driver in front of me.
17:44I want to know the answer to this question.
17:47Why did Sawan come after the monsoon?
17:57Sawan came straight.
17:59The audience saw a P.
18:01That's the right answer.
18:04No.. The answer is right.
18:06If you doubt that the answer is wrong
18:09you can do an audience poll.
18:10Let's do an audience poll.
18:12Let's do a poll.
18:21The audience poll is here.
18:23Now, you can do whatever you want.
18:24Bobby, come here.
18:25If you dance, you will get the answer.
18:28Yes.
18:29This is how it is. This is how it is in our game.
18:35You can use this poll. It is very strong.
18:38Let's give a big hand to Sunny and Bobby.
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