00:00Good evening and welcome to The Commission, my show.
00:27Kappu! Kappu!
00:31Kappu, I have been looking for you for so long and here you are, presenting.
00:34So, should I present you?
00:35Hello?
00:36Okay, I will present you.
00:37Hello and bad evening, nobody presents.
00:39A girl with a face like a stick.
00:40Co-powered by the disgusting Dr. Mushroom Lathi.
00:47Couldn't you say something else in dad's praise?
00:50What else should I say?
00:51Do you know?
00:52When common beggars meet a common man, they say,
00:54I haven't eaten yet.
00:56When his father meets him, he says, have you eaten?
00:59Yes, so if dad had given medicines for free,
01:01he would have taken care of dad's diet, brother.
01:04Which medicines did he give, dad?
01:06The patient is not given anesthesia.
01:08He says, I will make him unconscious in a minute.
01:09When I hug him, he becomes unconscious.
01:12It's nothing like that, brother.
01:15Dad has done a lot of big operations.
01:17He has done a lot of big operations.
01:18Once, he was putting a puncture in his hand
01:20and was also doing the operation in his hand.
01:22He put a tube in his leg and put a puncture in the man.
01:25Then his wife hit him and said,
01:26give it to me.
01:27By mistake, he couldn't say anything from both the sides.
01:30This is what his father does.
01:32Kappu, are you joking here?
01:34Yes, do you know?
01:35A girl teased me in the neighborhood behind.
01:37And the way she teased me,
01:39by God, I feel she has gone crazy in my love.
01:42You have added love.
01:43She must be a mad girl.
01:44She must be a mad girl who will tease you.
01:46Kappu.
01:52Kappu.
01:54Oh my God.
01:55Where were you, Lottery?
01:56I have been waiting for you for the last half an hour.
01:57Look, my blood pressure has gone low.
01:58Touch my hand and see.
02:00Listen.
02:01A boy teased me there.
02:03What?
02:04Yes.
02:05You should be ashamed.
02:06We have not opened this show for that.
02:08You come out of it.
02:13Whose death has come that has teased you?
02:16Yes, so why are you getting angry?
02:18It's such a small thing.
02:19It was a small thing when I teased you.
02:21You are small.
02:22She is taller than you.
02:23She is tall.
02:24And she is very beautiful.
02:28He also praised my lips.
02:30He said that my lips are like the petals of a rose.
02:33Now he has teased you.
02:35He should be ashamed of teasing you.
02:38So what did he tease you?
02:39He also said the same thing about me.
02:42I will kill him.
02:44No, no.
02:45Not for him.
02:46You kill him for me, please.
02:48After all, I am going to be your wife, Kappu.
02:50Tell me one thing.
02:51It would have been fun for you
02:52if I said your four lines on your face.
02:54It would have been fun for him.
02:55Why did you do it on purpose?
02:56You are going to be my wife.
02:57Get lost.
02:58You are standing in front of him.
02:59Where should I look?
03:00If a Ferrari is standing in front of you
03:01then who will go in an auto-rickshaw?
03:03What?
03:09You tell me.
03:10What all did he do?
03:12He also gave me a flying kiss.
03:14Oh.
03:15You give it to me.
03:16I will return it to him.
03:18How dare he tease you?
03:19I won't spare him.
03:20I won't spare him.
03:24Lottery.
03:34Who teased the lottery?
03:38I won't spare him.
03:41Papa.
03:42Yes.
03:43You didn't tease the daughter.
03:44You teased the lottery.
03:45You are getting very angry.
03:46I will get angry because I am a daughter.
03:48Your future husband will protect you.
03:51And I will protect him.
03:55Like an old man.
04:02I pay you Rs. 3300.
04:04Should someone else tease you?
04:08Why?
04:09Why did you go out earlier?
04:10Tell me.
04:11I went for a walk.
04:13You have a duty from 8 to 10.
04:15Why did you go for a walk?
04:16Because there was no patient.
04:19I am your patient.
04:24Look at me.
04:26Papa.
04:27What did you say?
04:30Your father is flying.
04:31You are staring at me.
04:32Close your eyes.
04:33You should be ashamed.
04:34You should be ashamed.
04:35If I was ashamed, you wouldn't be alive.
04:40Come inside.
04:42Come inside.
04:43I won't go inside alone.
04:44I will take the lottery with me.
04:46No.
04:47One minute.
04:49Excuse me.
04:52Don't say no to the lottery.
04:54If your mother becomes your mother,
04:56you won't be ashamed.
04:58Papa.
05:09If anyone teases the lottery,
05:12I will throw a bomb at him.
05:13Doctor.
05:14Doctor.
05:19Did you find out
05:20if anyone teases the lottery?
05:22Doctor, I am telling you.
05:23Tell me his name.
05:24I want to kill him.
05:25I want to kill him today.
05:27You don't have to tease your profession.
05:32This is a proverb.
05:33A monkey doesn't know the taste of ginger.
05:37Did you call me a monkey?
05:38You look like a naked camel.
05:40I called you a monkey for the proverb.
05:43You are lucky today.
05:45If I had given him Rs. 10,
05:47I would have asked him to say four things to you.
05:49Give me Rs. 5.
05:50I will say it once.
05:55Tell me.
05:56Doctor, listen to me.
05:57I am in a fight.
05:58I will kill him now.
05:59One minute.
06:00Yes.
06:01Don't come to me later.
06:02Doctor, I am not going to you.
06:04I am going to the lottery.
06:06If anything happens to me,
06:07he will have to do it.
06:10I will also come with you.
06:11I will get thrashed.
06:12Come on.
06:13Hurry up.
06:19Yes.
06:20Yes.
06:21Yes.
06:22Yes.
06:23Yes.
06:24Yes.
06:25Yes.
06:26Yes.
06:27Yes.
06:28Mr. Iddu.
06:29Do you know me?
06:30Hello.
06:31How do you know me?
06:32I am here for the first time.
06:33For the first time.
06:35I will tell you a poem as soon as I come.
06:39Okay.
06:40Okay.
06:41Amit, I don't know how much I love you.
06:45You don't know my heart.
06:51Amit, I don't know how much I love you.
06:55How many times have I told you not to say poems for girls?
06:57They don't listen.
07:01You must be thinking why I am here.
07:04Keep thinking.
07:05Keep thinking.
07:07Actually, I…
07:09Kappu's grandmother is my grandmother.
07:14You must be thinking why I didn't come earlier.
07:17They didn't tell me about the dress after moving in.
07:21They are crazy.
07:23I…
07:24Mr. Iddu, I don't like to say hi.
07:30That's why I don't host this show.
07:32I like to sing.
07:33Shall I sing?
07:35What is today?
07:37Knowledge.
07:38I will sing for you.
07:41It's a great song.
07:48Thank you very much.
07:56He called me Un.
07:58Now he is calling me Un.
08:05Un.
08:13Kappu.
08:15My Kappu is here.
08:16Kappu.
08:17Kappu.
08:18Kappu.
08:26Listen to me.
08:28You were supposed to come last month.
08:29Where were you?
08:30I was stuck.
08:32Your voice was stuck.
08:33How did you get stuck?
08:34I was stuck.
08:36You were stuck?
08:37Yes.
08:38Okay.
08:39I was stuck there.
08:43You were stuck?
08:44Yes.
08:46I taught you so much.
08:48I always told you to hold your finger.
08:51Otherwise, you will get stuck.
08:52You got stuck, right?
08:53I held my finger.
08:55Still, I got stuck.
08:58I…
09:03I didn't get the ticket.
09:05I got stuck.
09:07You got stuck because you didn't get the ticket?
09:10Yes.
09:11Okay.
09:12I went to the hotel.
09:13Yes.
09:14I ordered Sabji Roti.
09:16You got stuck?
09:17No.
09:18I ate it.
09:19I got stuck in everything.
09:23What is this?
09:24What are you doing?
09:26Why aren't you working properly?
09:28I…
09:31I told you.
09:33What?
09:34School.
09:35You opened a school?
09:37How did you open a school?
09:39You illiterate.
09:40Like this.
09:43Do you know, Mr. Siddhu?
09:44One day, he asked me
09:45what will happen if I add Humayun to Akbar?
09:48You also said that
09:49Akbar plus Humayun is equal to Anand Jai.
09:51Shut up.
09:52You forgot everything.
09:54That's why I opened it.
09:56The watchman didn't come.
09:58Thank you.
10:01It's good.
10:06Gappu.
10:08When did you come?
10:12Where were you?
10:13I…
10:14I went to Trilia.
10:16Where?
10:18Trilia.
10:20Where?
10:21Dadar.
10:27Grandma.
10:28Yes.
10:29I have come after so many days.
10:30Will you get me tea or biscuits?
10:32Oh no.
10:33What are you saying?
10:34You are my guest, Gappu.
10:35I should be asking you
10:36if you will get me tea or biscuits.
10:37Then why didn't you ask me?
10:40Go and get it.
10:41I will get it, Sarla.
10:42You talk.
10:43My Gappu is here.
10:44Gappu is here.
10:49Hello.
10:50Come, sit.
10:53Come.
10:54Sit.
10:55I want to
10:56talk to you.
10:58Tell me one thing.
11:01I teased you.
11:03Why didn't you
11:04give me a response?
11:06What?
11:07Why didn't you give me a response?
11:09What?
11:11Why didn't you give me an answer?
11:15It was you who teased me.
11:17It's good that I didn't see it.
11:19By the way, you have grown up a lot.
11:21Same.
11:22You are still so young.
11:23Sit.
11:24Sit.
11:25Give me your hand.
11:27What is your
11:28old man doing?
11:30Randeep Hooda is doing a film.
11:31No.
11:32Your old man.
11:33Doctor.
11:34What is he doing?
11:35Did you call your dad an old man?
11:36What is your younger brother doing?
11:40Younger brother?
11:41Dad's hospital
11:42is doing well.
11:43But
11:44tell me.
11:45What were you doing
11:46for so many days?
11:47Your name is Mia.
11:49Oh.
11:50What did you do?
11:52I missed you.
11:54Oh.
11:55I took your name.
11:56I missed you.
11:58I took your name.
11:59I missed you.
12:02This is what I did.
12:03Look.
12:04I love you so much.
12:06I have written your name
12:07on my arm.
12:09I haven't written anything.
12:11It must be erased.
12:13I come here.
12:14I come here everyday.
12:15You should also come.
12:16You are so weird.
12:17Shut up.
12:18No.
12:19Listen.
12:20I have written a poem for you.
12:21Shall I start?
12:22Yes.
12:23One.
12:24Two.
12:25Three.
12:26Four.
12:27Five.
12:28Six.
12:29Seven.
12:30Eight.
12:31Nine.
12:32Ten.
12:33Eleven.
12:34Twelve.
12:35Thirteen.
12:36Fourteen.
12:37Fifteen.
12:38Sixteen.
12:39Seventeen.
12:40Eighteen.
12:41Nineteen.
12:42Twenty.
12:43Twenty-one.
12:44Twenty-two.
12:45Twenty-three.
12:46Twenty-four.
12:47Twenty-five.
12:48Twenty-six.
12:49Twenty-seven.
12:50I want to make you a star in the sky.
12:54I want to make you a dream of my nights.
12:58Shall I tell you straight?
12:59I want to get your name
13:00written on the ration card
13:01with two kids.
13:07Gappu.
13:08Forget me.
13:09I love someone else.
13:11Do you want me to forget you?
13:14I will cut the person
13:15whom you love.
13:16I will cut him.
13:18But he is your relative.
13:20Then I will cut him into four pieces.
13:23He has a very big gun.
13:26Sister-in-law, where is brother?
13:28Are you scared?
13:29It's better to be scared than to die.
13:31I was just kidding.
13:33Your joke is as serious as your face.
13:36I was just kidding.
13:37Scoundrel.
13:43How dare you?
13:47You were after my grandson.
13:49He didn't give you any importance.
13:52And you are after my grandson.
13:54I am not after him.
13:55He is teasing me.
13:57I will kill you.
14:06Where did he go?
14:08Where are you going?
14:10What did you say?
14:11Sorry.
14:15I will come there and tell you.
14:16No.
14:17No.
14:18Where are you running?
14:19No.
14:20It's not necessary
14:21that a person should learn
14:23by his own mistake.
14:25Sometimes, one should learn
14:26by the mistake of others.
14:30Really?
14:31What did you learn?
14:32That it's not right to go
14:33everywhere on time.
14:34Even if you go late,
14:35it's okay.
14:37Nothing will happen.
14:38Let's go.
14:39You guys come here.
14:40No.
14:42I am not scared of love.
14:43I am scared of slaps.
14:44First, call him.
14:48Chandu.
14:49Come here.
14:50First, call him.
14:51Come here.
14:52One slap is not enough.
14:53Then you eat it.
14:54Shut up.
14:56Nothing will happen.
14:57Both of you come here.
14:58I will see who will hit me.
14:59First, call him.
15:00What happened?
15:03How did you tease my daughter?
15:05Like this.
15:09Like this.
15:10Then why did you tease the lottery?
15:12You.
15:13Do you need a stick?
15:15What about them?
15:16I
15:20teased them like this.
15:22First, throw him out of the locality.
15:24Otherwise, he will keep teasing people.
15:26Throw him out of the locality.
15:28God knows what he will do.
15:33Kappu, have you gone mad?
15:34Do you want to marry his daughter?
15:36Keep some standards.
15:38Do you know?
15:39Kappu is having an affair with Jacqueline.
15:42It's just an affair.
15:43What?
15:44Jacqueline will not marry him.
15:46Neither will Deepika.
15:48Who?
15:49Her.
15:53Don't you dare to marry a beautiful girl like her.
15:57Lady.
15:58Don't you dare to call my daughter beautiful.
16:01Otherwise, I will kill myself.
16:03Absolutely right.
16:04How can Udbilao's daughter be beautiful?
16:06How can she be beautiful?
16:12I can't take it lightly.
16:14Light off.
16:16Lights.
16:17I will see each one of you.
16:22Hit him.
16:37Did you see?
16:39I hit everyone.
16:40Everyone got scared of me and ran away.
16:44That's why my name is Mr. Gluttony.
16:48Doctor.
16:50Yes, please.
16:51Look.
16:52Your mother's glucose.
16:54Hit.
16:55Hit.
16:56Hit.
16:57Hit.
17:01Hit him.
17:02Hit him.
17:04Why?
17:06Hit.
17:07Hit.
17:08Hit.
17:09Hit.
17:10Hit.
17:11Hit.
17:12Hit.
17:13Hit.
17:16Hit.
17:17Hit.
17:18Hit.
17:19Yes.
17:20Yes.
17:21Dear Udbilao.
17:23Hello, Sidhu.
17:24Greetings.
17:26Hello, Mr. Guru.
17:27I am sorry to say this to you, Sidhu.
17:28Please forgive me.
17:30Because today I am going to be a brother.
17:32Brother.
17:33Hey!
17:34Wow, my son! When did this happen?
17:39Hey!
17:42No one told me.
17:43Nor did your mother give me the good news.
17:45Hey!
17:48Come, come, come.
17:49Don't call me son.
17:51Why?
17:52Call me brother. Brother.
17:56Go and get a glass of tea. That too, full.
17:58Yes.
17:59Otherwise, call me brother. Otherwise, bye-bye.
18:01Look at him. He is so short.
18:03He says, I want tea. Full, full.
18:05Look, don't mess with me.
18:07I am the brother of this area. Brother.
18:12And when someone laughs from 25 feet away..
18:15..people say, shut up.
18:17Shut up, otherwise, dates will come.
18:21What are you saying?
18:22You are not allowing people to laugh in Mr. Sidhu's presence.
18:25What are you saying?
18:26Think about whom you are messing with.
18:28Don't instigate them.
18:29People have snakes in their homes.
18:32Yes.
18:32He is my father.
18:37You are talking too much.
18:38Hey!
18:40Don't hold my ears.
18:41Then what should I hold?
18:43Don't hold anything. It's an insult.
18:46Otherwise, the matter of the house will be exposed.
18:47What do you mean by that?
18:49Mom used to beat you up at home.
18:51Okay.
18:51Now, I will beat you up in front of everyone.
18:55And yes.
18:55Yes.
18:56I can't control myself.
18:57Yes.
18:57I want half of my property.
19:07Chandu.
19:09He wants half of his property, right?
19:12You want half of your property?
19:13Yes.
19:13Beat him up.
19:16Are you insulting the child?
19:19I will teach you a lesson.
19:19Stop it, dad.
19:21I have been a brother for so long.
19:23No one is scared at home.
19:25Why would anyone be scared outside?
19:28Come here.
19:29Do you want to be a brother?
19:30Yes.
19:30Come here.
19:31Do you know that good brothers are trying to improve
19:34and you are trying to spoil them?
19:36Today, I will introduce you to a famous brother
19:38who wants to improve.
19:39Yes.
19:39You scoundrel.
19:41So, I would like to invite Mr. Michael Mishra
19:45alias Arshad Warsi
19:46for a big round of applause.
19:50Mr. Arshad.
19:50Thank you.
19:51Tell me.
19:51Welcome.
19:52How are you, sir?
19:52Very good, sir.
19:53What are you judging?
19:54Sometimes it's fun and sometimes it's chaos.
19:56This is the story of Hasee Ka Baitha Darwiya
20:00and Ishqiya Ki Rawaani.
20:06Hasee Ka Baitha Darwiya and Ishqiya Ki Rawaani.
20:08This is the circuit that never gets fused.
20:11Call it Jolly or Guddu.
20:13The world is crazy about every story of this.
20:15Amazing.
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