00:00Karma's a bitch featuring Gypsy Rose Blanchard.
00:03That's funny.
00:04Hey Cosmo, I'm JoJo Siwa and today I'm gonna be going through
00:08some famous scenarios and letting you know how I would handle them.
00:11This is If It Were Me.
00:15I feel like I'm in the hot seat right now.
00:17The first set of scenarios are all based on pop culture.
00:20In season two of Grey's Anatomy,
00:22Meredith Grey famously begs Derek Shepard to...
00:25Pick me.
00:27Choose me.
00:29Love me.
00:31If you were friends with Meredith, what would you tell her?
00:33I would tell Meredith to just follow her heart
00:35and feel exactly how she's feeling and...
00:37If she has the balls to say that to him,
00:40girl, if you can get McDreamy, do it.
00:42Do you have an opinion or take on pick me girls?
00:45I don't like when people do things for attention.
00:49Alright, get out of here Meredith Grey.
00:51Okey dokey.
00:52Your hero Elton John once called Madonna's theme song for
00:55Die Another Day the worst Bond tune ever.
00:58How would you react if Elton called Karma the worst tune ever?
01:01I'd be like, well, you and 15 other people get in line, bro.
01:05If Elton even heard Karma, I'd be honored.
01:08I don't give a shit if he likes it or not.
01:10If he heard it, I would be like, that's the coolest thing ever.
01:12During season four of The Kardashians,
01:14Kourtney and Kim got into a brawl because Kim allegedly used
01:17Kourtney's wedding as a business opportunity.
01:20What would you do if a family used your wedding
01:22as a way to make some cash?
01:23I'd applaud them.
01:25I would be like, way to go.
01:27Like, literally if my brother was like, yo, I got a brand deal
01:30with Canon to come film your wedding on a Canon camera.
01:34I'd be like, yeah, you did.
01:35Do they want to sponsor the whole wedding?
01:37Like, yeah, if he could make some money,
01:39anyone could make some money off my wedding.
01:41Count me in. How can I make some money off of this?
01:44Look at me, not toxic.
01:45Yeah, speaking of toxic, you were in Special Forces
01:49with Tom Sandoval and famously carried him on your back.
01:51Hypothetically speaking, if you found out your partner
01:53of nine years was cheating on you with one of your best friends,
01:56what would you do? Jesus Christ, we got right into it there.
01:59I get it, if I was Ariana in the Sandoval situation,
02:02I want whoever I'm with to be happiest.
02:04And if they are cheating on me, it's not necessarily that
02:07I'm not making them happy, but it is they are not happy.
02:10But for me and myself personally, if somebody was cheating
02:14with my best friend, I'd be like, f*** you.
02:17But like, go do your thing.
02:18Like, I don't need bad blood with you.
02:21I'm hurt, but like, I'll be fine. Don't you really sweat it?
02:24My best friend, however, I would be, that would hurt me more.
02:28I'm thinking if my best friend was in the situation,
02:30I would be like, you sassy c***.
02:33I'd be like, that's not OK.
02:35When Gypsy Rose Blanchard got released from prison in December,
02:38the first thing she posted to Instagram was a selfie in her hotel room.
02:41If you were fresh out the slammer, what would your first post be?
02:50My first post would be my mugshot.
02:52If she wanted to do music, would you ever collaborate with her?
02:56No, but I would take her to Disneyland.
02:59I would have never f***ed her around.
03:02Yeah, we know it.
03:03If I could take Gypsy's Disney virginity,
03:05that would be the most me thing ever.
03:07Oh, I would love that.
03:08We need a line to Gypsy Rose.
03:10Karma's a b***h featuring Gypsy Rose Blanchard.
03:14OK, maybe I would do something with her musically because that's funny.
03:18These next scenarios are hypothetical
03:20and they are definitely not based on anything, anyone,
03:23no real situations.
03:26Your dance coach preaches theater etiquette,
03:29but you catch her texting during nationals.
03:31What would you do?
03:33Exactly what Tammy did.
03:35Exactly what she did.
03:36I would go up to her and, you preach theater etiquette,
03:39put your phone away.
03:40You preach theater etiquette to my kids, put your phone away.
03:44But I would probably be a little bit sassier.
03:46I'd probably go up to her and I'd be like, theater etiquette, eh?
03:50We texted.
03:51Or I'd just snoop on the phone.
03:53I'm such a snooper.
03:54I am so nosy, I just wanna know what everyone's gossiping about.
03:57I don't care, I'm just nosy.
04:00Oh my God.
04:02You find out your mom is engaged to someone you used to hook up with.
04:06What would you do?
04:09Oh my God, I'm thinking if my mom was engaged to one of my exes.
04:13Oh my...
04:14OK, OK.
04:17Luckily, I'm never gonna have to be in this situation
04:18because A, my mom hates my exes,
04:21and B, my mom is very straight and still married to my dad.
04:23But...
04:25If my friend came to me and said this,
04:27oh my God, I'd trash the wedding.
04:29Like, come raid it.
04:30But like, funny raid, but like, just ruin it.
04:33Or I would get to live my freaking fantasy of, I object.
04:38For sure.
04:39For sure.
04:42You just started dating someone
04:44and everything has been going great until you came across old tweets
04:47where they were completely shading you.
04:48How would you confront them?
04:49Honestly, I have been in a situation kind of similar to this,
04:53except for it wasn't shady tweets, it was shady texts.
04:56First, I would ask them, I would say, what is this?
04:58And they would try to explain.
05:01And I would just say, I'm really affected by this
05:05and I just can't, I can't have a future with you
05:08and so I don't wanna waste your time right now.
05:10We won't be happy together
05:11because this will always be in the back of my mind.
05:14You got in a relationship with someone more famous than you
05:16and they ask you to sign an NDA, what do you do?
05:19Sign it.
05:20Easy, 100%.
05:22Wouldn't even question it, honestly.
05:23I need to be better about having people sign NDAs.
05:27Oh.
05:29Easiest one ever.
05:30You and your wife are ready to have children,
05:31but she confesses that she hates the baby names you've picked out for them.
05:34Freddie, Eddie and Teddy, how would you respond?
05:35I would break up with her.
05:38Divorce.
05:39And that is something that I talk about very early on with partners.
05:42I'm like, just so you know, there are three children,
05:45their names are Freddie, Eddie and Teddy.
05:46I will have as many more as you want, however many more,
05:49but fet is coming and they will be here in three years,
05:53whether you like it or not.
05:54Those are my nuggets and no one comes before my nuggets.
05:57This is a fun story, you know, no one's ever heard of this one before.
06:00Because I'm gay as shit and I have to plan a pregnancy
06:04much different than a straight person,
06:06I actually want to take three eggs,
06:09fertilize three eggs and have three surrogates.
06:11So, technically they'll all be the same batch,
06:16but they would all be born separately.
06:17I'm gonna have my surrogates, my babies.
06:21Then maybe little birthdays will land on different days
06:23and they can be like triplets, but like not.
06:26You find out one of your closest friends
06:28has been leaking stories about you to TMZ,
06:30how do you get back at them?
06:32Ugh!
06:34F*** with them.
06:35You f*** with them, you f*** with them hard.
06:37You give them some fake things and you feed them some information
06:41and then you make them look like an idiot.
06:42Not that I've done it before.
06:44On a very, very small scale, this has happened.
06:47Me and my best friend were like,
06:48screw you for spreading information,
06:50let's get back at you and get you to spread some false stuff.
06:54Thank you guys so much for watching,
06:56that was If It Were Me, I had a blast.
06:59Check out my new EP, Guilty Pleasure,
07:01we got some bomb songs on there.
07:03I love y'all.
07:04Deuces.
07:10Deuces.
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