00:00I never want to play a white woman again.
00:02It's so much work.
00:02I just want to play a black man, that's all.
00:04I want to do Black Guy, the movie.
00:06No makeup, no hair, I wake up, I go to set,
00:10and boom, black man in theaters.
00:14Hey, what's up?
00:14It's Marlon Wayans.
00:16Apparently we're going to be watching some scenes
00:18from my long-ass career.
00:21Let's go.
00:22♪♪
00:29♪♪
00:36I see dead people.
00:40Man, this shit is awesome.
00:43You know what I'm saying?
00:44You got to roll some more of that shit.
00:47Shorty wasn't written because I was filming
00:50Dungeons & Dragons and Requiem,
00:52so they left my character kind of out
00:54while they was putting together the movie,
00:56and so Kenan was like, every time I come to set,
00:59okay, so what's Shorty going to do today?
01:02And I'd be like, wait, what do you mean?
01:04You wasn't here,
01:05we didn't write your character like that,
01:07so you tell me what he's going to do.
01:09Go into my trailer, and I come back with pages.
01:11Shorty's downstairs getting high with all his friends,
01:14and the killer walks in,
01:15and you think he's going to kill him,
01:16but instead, he gets high with them.
01:20Oh, shit.
01:24Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
01:28And then from there, it was like,
01:30I started thinking what else would be fun with the killer,
01:32and it'd be like, yo, if we freestyle,
01:34we know everybody's always talking freestyles,
01:36and they're always violent, but what if you freestyled it
01:38with somebody that's like really violent,
01:40like a fucking slasher?
01:42When the phone rings, don't answer that call,
01:44you're going to slip your throat, fuck you like a goat,
01:46peel your foreskin off, and make a winter coat.
01:48Peace.
01:51Yo.
01:54That was the illest rhyme I ever seen, son!
01:58And Shorty was based on a real person,
02:00a dude I knew who was my barber,
02:02and he smoked a lot of weed, and I was just like,
02:04son, I'm going to do you in a movie.
02:06Me and my family have a long history
02:10of knowing some really funny people that we grew up with,
02:14or really funny people that we was around,
02:16and we was like, that's a character.
02:20♪♪
02:25Shit, man.
02:27That motherfucker's starting to look a little seedy, Jim.
02:30What, are you a potato keeper all of a sudden?
02:32Hey, baby.
02:33I don't care if your motherfucker's growing hair,
02:35just as long as we get our bread.
02:37Just give me a hand.
02:39Jared Little, that's a pretty motherfucker, ain't he?
02:42I used to piss him off every day when we did Requiem,
02:45because he was so into his character, you know,
02:48he'd stop eating and shit and get all emaciated,
02:51and I was like, I ain't going to do all that skinny shit.
02:54Let me get a burger.
02:55So he's eating, like, little pumpkin seeds,
02:57and I'm sitting there going, mm, you hungry?
03:00-♪♪
03:08Hello.
03:09Hi.
03:11That was a very hard movie to do, Requiem,
03:13because it was my first, like, real dramatic role,
03:15but Darren Aronofsky had me come to New York City in February.
03:19First of all, I auditioned six times for the role.
03:22Finally, I got the role.
03:23So he makes me come to New York in a meeting,
03:25and he's like, okay, come on, we're going to go for a walk.
03:28It's February.
03:29He said, take your shirt off.
03:30I said, what kind of, what was going on?
03:32And he's like, just trust me.
03:34I took my shirt off, and we walked around New York City
03:37with no shirt in February, and I freeze it.
03:41We got back to the rehearsal stage, rehearsal room,
03:44and he was like, how do you feel?
03:46I said, cold.
03:47He said, I just want you to know what it felt like
03:50to be cold in New York.
03:52Remember this moment, because it's going to be June
03:54when we film this scene that takes place in winter.
03:57I said, you jackass, I was born and raised in New York.
04:00Why the hell would you, I know how cold it is out here.
04:03I didn't have no jack in my old childhood.
04:06Why would you, I was poor.
04:09I don't need this method acting thing.
04:12But I did it, and the movie turned out great,
04:15so maybe I should shut up.
04:17I remember specifically, we went to a heroin clinic
04:20to talk to recovering addicts, and there was this one dude,
04:25and he was like, he's buff, like lean and buff,
04:28and I was like, and he was funny.
04:30And I was like, oh, that's interesting.
04:34For my character, that's what I want to do.
04:37I want to be the fun guy.
04:39And Darren was like, yes.
04:41And so when he has his fall from grace,
04:45that's when the audience is just like, oh, shit,
04:48on top of her getting ass to ass,
04:50and this dude getting his arm chopped off,
04:53and the mother getting electric shock treatment
04:56like all of us went on this ride straight to hell.
04:59It helped sell the tragedy of that movie,
05:03and I think that, yeah, that'll make you put your drugs down.
05:06Requiem is the greatest drug PSA ever.
05:15I like a woman with a little extra something.
05:20A little cushion for the pusher.
05:24White Chicks was a very hard movie
05:26because we spent 6 hours in makeup.
05:28It was supposed to be summertime in the Hamptons.
05:30We filmed wintertime in Vancouver,
05:33and then with 2 black men playing 2 white women,
05:37and I got brown eyes,
05:39and so they put blue guy context in,
05:42and man, the heels, my feet hurt so bad.
05:45I never want to play a white woman again.
05:47Everybody's like, it's so much work.
05:49I just want to play a black man, that's all.
05:51I want to do black guy in the movie.
05:53Crazy enough, I actually make a pretty cute white woman,
05:56so much so that Terry Crews developed a crush on me
06:00as the white chick, and I was like,
06:02girl, if you don't get your ass away from me.
06:04He's like, you just look so cute.
06:10Oopsie, I had a poopsie.
06:13Girl, we gonna get along just fine.
06:19Is there art to the fart?
06:21I mean, most people enjoy scatological humor.
06:23You know what I mean?
06:24I just feel like when you're a writer or you're a critic,
06:27it's hard to embrace crazy humor like we had.
06:31We did it for the audience.
06:32We did it for the layman's.
06:33We did it for the real people that just wanted to laugh,
06:36that wasn't thinking too much.
06:37We did it for the writers that can't write about it,
06:40but they can still enjoy the movie.
06:42They just can't say they enjoyed the movie.
06:44We got like one and a half stars on this movie,
06:47and 20-something years later, it's a classic.
06:52We're brothers, we're happy and we're singing and we're colored.
07:03Give me a high five.
07:06Our family, we're a bunch of trolls.
07:09We were all a bunch of trolls.
07:11And it's always the same TV, two brothers,
07:14some white guys writing their show,
07:16and they're dressed like, you know,
07:18like what they think the hip, cool clothes are,
07:21and acting jive and hip, and it's unauthentic.
07:25And we wanted to shake things up,
07:27so we started with that.
07:28We're their brothers, they're happy and they're singing
07:30and they're colored.
07:31The reason why we did that is that was us shaking up pop culture.
07:36That was us going, we're going to break some rules.
07:38We're going to do some different shit.
07:39You're going to see two black guys on TV
07:41with their own show like you've never seen it before,
07:44and that's what we did.
07:46My mama died.
07:48What?
07:51Mama died?
08:05We looked at the content that was on television at the time.
08:09We was looking at these roles that black people had,
08:12and they always had us so melodramatic.
08:15You know, it was always black people being so sorry
08:19about something and being dramatic.
08:22So every little thing, we made fun of those characters
08:28and that writing by doing it and sending it up
08:32and be like, why?
08:34Over the littlest thing.
08:37If you watch Wayne's Brothers, over the years we got better.
08:40The shows got better, the stories got better
08:42because we got more experience,
08:44and we knew what was right, what was wrong.
08:46We found our pocket, and then they canceled our black ass.
08:49But the beauty, and the beauty of God,
08:51is the minute they canceled our show,
08:54Scary Movie became the biggest hit in Hollywood.
09:02He did say if somebody was to buy him a red Mercedes 380 SL,
09:08he would sign a shoe contract for life with anybody
09:12except Nike.
09:13It was great to go play the legendary George Ravlin.
09:16You know, something Michael Jordan wanted in the movie,
09:18and it was important, and Ben was like,
09:20it's an important role, it's not going to get cut no matter what
09:23because Michael Jordan wants this in the movie.
09:25And I was like, because normally somebody goes,
09:27you want to do one scene, it's like,
09:29I don't know, you could easily cut that one scene.
09:31But I was like, oh, MJ said it's in?
09:33Oh, I'm there, I'm there.
09:35I'm looking for my favorite line, it's not in there.
09:37Then I notice the whole second half of the speech
09:40is completely different.
09:42What was the line you were looking for?
09:44I have a dream.
09:46Come on, get the fuck out of here.
09:48The I have a dream, do you have that?
09:50I got a call from Ben Affleck.
09:53I thought it was spam, so I almost hung up on his ass.
09:56And I heard J-Lo in the background.
09:58I was like, oh, maybe this really is him.
10:00It's a drama, but I want him to have this personality,
10:02and you're such a good actor, and you're good looking,
10:05and people know you, and I was talking to J-Lo,
10:07and she was like, what about Marlon?
10:09I was like, perfect.
10:11He gave me a 45-minute phone call,
10:13and the ass said, would you be in my movie?
10:16I was like, Ben, you had me at hello.
10:19I seen Argo? Yes, I'd be in your movie.
10:21I'd be an extra on you.
10:23If you told me you was filming a porn,
10:25I'd be like, bet, what time I'm showing up.
10:32It's crazy, my father would never even say the phrase
10:35happy birthday.
10:37Like if he said happy birthday, he would instantly go to hell.
10:40So he wouldn't say the phrase, and he'd call me on my birthday.
10:42He goes, hey, son, happy Wednesday.
10:45All true.
10:47This Negro never celebrated holidays.
10:51It was so weird growing up that my mom loved holidays,
10:54and my dad didn't.
10:56Halloween, Christmas, nothing.
10:58I think that's why we loved holidays so much,
11:00was just because we wanted to annoy the shit out of my dad.
11:03This special Good Grief definitely helped me
11:07heal from the trauma of losing my parents.
11:10Enjoy your life.
11:12Enjoy your parents.
11:14Enjoy your loved ones.
11:16As long as you can live and breathe,
11:18please do the best you can
11:20to get as much out of life as you can.
11:27I had great parents, great upbringing,
11:30wonderful brothers and sisters.
11:32I had a dope-ass childhood, but I just missed my parents.
11:35And I think talking about them every weekend on a stage,
11:39and oftentimes I'd cry on that stage.
11:42I cry more on a stage than I do in therapy.
11:45And that's crazy, because I spend $250 an hour
11:48for my damn therapy.
11:50My mama told me as a little boy, she said,
11:52baby boy, you learn to laugh in your worst moments.
11:58And you gonna smile the rest of your days.
12:04Losing my mother was my worst moment.
12:17I think I cried that night because it was,
12:20like, saying goodbye to my parents was a send-off.
12:24Yeah, that experience was exactly that, cathartic.
12:28It was like, brought it all home for me.
12:31And now I know I got God, and I got my mom here,
12:35and my dad here, and I got wings.
12:37So now, like I said, I'm ready for the next level of life,
12:40for the next 50 years.
12:42And by the time I'm 100, I'm gonna finally look 50.
12:50Thanks for watching.
12:52Ouch-o.
Comments