World Famous DJ Surprises Barstool With Live Concert | Stool Scenes

  • 4 months ago
El Presidente | Stool Scenes
Transcript
00:00 Well, things have gone downhill for us.
00:03 We're somehow now DJing at the Barstool office.
00:06 What up?
00:07 We're here.
00:08 What are we doing?
00:09 We're about to DJ as people walk in and see what's up.
00:13 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:17 What's up, dawg?
00:19 You're set up.
00:20 We're setting up the Lelux.
00:21 A little pop-up concert.
00:23 Lelux are in Barstool office.
00:25 Monday morning.
00:26 [INAUDIBLE]
00:30 Oh, it's your bestie.
00:32 Huh?
00:32 It's your bestie.
00:33 What do you mean?
00:34 Lelux are here.
00:35 They're DJing.
00:36 Oh, what's up?
00:37 Great to see you.
00:39 They're DJing in here today?
00:41 Yeah.
00:41 I'm DJing.
00:43 Wow.
00:43 In five minutes.
00:44 Really?
00:45 I would have told you.
00:46 Wow, that's interesting.
00:47 Nick is in the building.
00:49 Wait, you have to come back for him.
00:51 Yeah, sure.
00:52 Yeah, wasn't expecting that.
00:55 Pace is one.
00:56 We're having a party.
00:57 I love it.
00:58 Pace is in the Eastern Conference finals.
01:00 Yes.
01:01 Look at Jordan's shirt.
01:04 This is for Nico.
01:05 I saw it on social media.
01:06 For me, this is for everyone who needs me last week in the office.
01:11 Bury the New York City scumbags.
01:14 Go cry in your mama's Sunday sauce.
01:16 What's up?
01:16 We're Loud Luxury, and we're going to ruin Barstool's Monday morning.
01:19 Let's go.
01:20 Time for a DJ set.
01:22 Well, things have gone downhill for us.
01:24 We're somehow now DJing at the Barstool office.
01:27 What up?
01:28 We're here.
01:30 We're about to DJ as people walk in and see what's up.
01:35 He's really going.
01:36 They're really DJing.
01:37 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:03 Is this how we're going to come back to Chicago office,
02:06 getting world-class DJs instead of a basketball court?
02:10 I was supposed to record a podcast right now.
02:13 I don't know what to do.
02:14 I can't do my job.
02:16 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:19 You're doing amazing, sweetie.
02:32 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:34 I do?
02:35 I just start drinking.
02:39 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]
02:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:15 Thank you, Barstool!
03:17 [CHEERING]
03:18 Anyone have any leads on who might have thrown napkins into the air?
03:23 Fuck yeah.
03:28 I know.
03:30 I was like, I just saw them Friday.
03:32 At least he's got a good-looking beard, though.
03:34 Thank God.
03:35 It was bad.
03:35 You saw it Friday.
03:36 It was not good.
03:37 It was pretty bad.
03:38 No, my beard was just disgusting.
03:40 I had to get a little beard cut.
03:41 You had a play-out beard.
03:42 Yeah.
03:43 Just another day in the life.
03:45 Not really that surprising.
03:48 Is the music over?
03:50 I'm ready to roll, brother.
03:52 Is that Molly Walker?
03:53 I'm ready to peak.
03:54 It's just a leave.
03:55 My knees hurt.
03:56 I have JoJo Siwa's hair, so we're going to do the karma dance together.
04:00 The problem is, I'm not much of a dancer.
04:02 I don't know.
04:03 You have the body of a dancer.
04:04 I have the legs of a dancer.
04:06 And I have the rhythm of a white man.
04:10 A straight white man.
04:11 Sis.
04:12 Straight white man.
04:13 You should give them a little sample of what you're going to do with JoJo.
04:16 Will you sing it?
04:17 Yeah.
04:19 We're in.
04:19 Camera's here.
04:20 Five, six, seven, eight.
04:22 Karma's a bitch.
04:24 I should've known better.
04:27 I don't know the other words, but--
04:29 Like, this is actually pretty good.
04:32 Right?
04:32 And then I go--
04:34 That's the biggest thing.
04:35 If I can nail off the bat, and then like, karma's a bitch.
04:38 And then at the end, it goes, knife twist.
04:41 Oh.
04:42 Like that.
04:43 Knife twist.
04:44 It seems like you've literally known this for a while now.
04:47 Yeah, it's like, I don't know it, though.
04:48 All you have to do is like, kind of like a--
04:51 I think if I get the first bit down--
04:53 Yeah, you just got to get the first shake, and then you're good.
04:56 Yeah.
04:57 Then I can kind of--
04:58 Then just rest a little.
04:59 I'm out of breath a little bit.
05:01 Yeah.
05:01 I think I'm going to be good.
05:02 I'm nervous.
05:03 I'm filming a video with her.
05:05 I'm asking her a question, but--
05:06 What's your question?
05:07 I'm not going to say it until-- I don't want to jinx it.
05:10 And if you tell me what it is, I'm going to literally ask it.
05:12 Can I actually ask a question?
05:14 I'm so fucking-- have you seen my dance?
05:16 No, I don't want to see it until you do.
05:18 I'm going to--
05:19 What do they say?
05:20 The kids eat?
05:21 I'm about to eat.
05:22 I'm going to interrupt like this and be like, this is Pat.
05:24 He's been practicing all day.
05:27 Is that how I should--
05:28 Yeah, say he's been practicing all day.
05:30 What else would happen?
05:31 Karma would be like, be nice.
05:34 OK.
05:35 I think she's got a great sense of humor.
05:37 I should practice.
05:38 [CHATTER]
05:40 [LAUGHTER]
05:42 [CHATTER]
05:45 Oh.
05:46 Dude, this is like my moment.
05:49 This is what it's about, baby.
05:51 This is what I live for, going bye bye.
05:53 People are saying I'm the Lulu if I want to go bye bye.
05:56 I say the haters are sick.
05:58 This could be your big break.
05:59 That you've been--
06:00 Dude, I do-- I'm doing a thing on TikTok
06:02 where I only do a TikTok if it's going to be viral.
06:04 My last one was Montana Boys.
06:05 It had 5 million views.
06:06 [CHATTER]
06:08 [LAUGHTER]
06:10 [CHATTER]
06:13 And then the end is the knife twist.
06:15 [CHATTER]
06:17 [CHATTER]
06:19 [CHATTER]
06:22 [CHATTER]
06:24 [CHATTER]
06:28 Did you know who this was, Ebony?
06:30 Hell yeah.
06:30 My daughter used to watch that.
06:32 You did?
06:32 Yeah, but--
06:33 Are you excited for Pat to do a dance with you?
06:35 I can't wait to see you act the fuck out.
06:37 [CHATTER]
06:40 Pat has been practicing the dance all day.
06:43 It's really a work in progress.
06:45 Let's see it.
06:46 Let's see it.
06:46 Is this the vetting process?
06:48 No.
06:49 It's OK.
06:49 You're good.
06:50 Will you second that as I do it?
06:52 Yep.
06:52 Ready?
06:53 5, 6, 7, 8.
06:54 [SINGING]
06:55 Karma's a bitch.
06:56 You should have known better.
06:59 I had a wish.
07:01 I think that's good, right?
07:02 You were-- you had the first step.
07:04 I think I need you in front of me to do it.
07:07 Shaggy, will you film?
07:08 I'm going to be a little bit behind.
07:10 It's better if we stagger, because I'll go in for you.
07:14 All right, step.
07:15 3, 2, 1, go.
07:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
07:20 [BALL BOUNCING]
07:23 [BALL BOUNCING]
07:26 [BALL BOUNCING]
07:29 [LAUGHTER]
07:31 [CLAPPING]
07:33 Nailed it.
07:33 Nailed it?
07:34 Did we get it?
07:35 Oh, you nailed it.
07:36 Oh, my god.
07:37 You nailed it.
07:38 What do you think?
07:39 I like it better than I thought I was going to.
07:41 [LAUGHTER]
07:42 Next time you're back, you have to come on me and my show--
07:45 me and my co-host Joey's show.
07:46 Anytime.
07:47 I fucked up at the end, though.
07:48 That's in the beginning.
07:50 I don't have to find them to do the string.
07:52 Let's go.
07:52 Let's go.
07:53 A little seizure-y from me, but we'll get over it.
07:55 Seizure-y from you?
07:56 Yeah.
07:56 Bitch.
07:57 Hold on.
07:58 I'm going to get in it.
07:59 I want to get in it.
08:01 I cracked a smile at one point.
08:03 I think that might have ruined the whole video.
08:04 Wait, let me see it.
08:05 I didn't get to see it because everything is going to--
08:06 It's already saved, right?
08:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:09 Hang on.
08:09 There's this other guy that probably just X'd up.
08:10 Well, no, you have to save it from TikTok,
08:11 but you saved it on TikTok.
08:12 If I just lost it?
08:13 No, you didn't.
08:13 But--
08:14 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:16 Oh, she's so good.
08:18 Wait, you're good.
08:19 We've been discussing in our corner
08:21 over here that we're going to bring back
08:22 the third longest-running show in Barstool history
08:24 behind the rundown and one of my pizza reviews,
08:26 Booze and Burgers.
08:27 OK, we are at Black Burger.
08:28 It is on West Canael and Broadway.
08:30 OK, we are at Empire Steakhouse.
08:32 It's on 54th right off of Broadway,
08:34 right across from the Iguana Cafe.
08:36 OK, we are at Jeremy's Ale House.
08:37 It is on Front Street in the South Street Seaport.
08:39 We are at Taylor Public House.
08:41 It's on 35th and 8th Avenue.
08:42 This is what we did by the garden.
08:43 We walk outside.
08:44 The garden is right there.
08:45 We've got a huge fence with a garden mural on the wall.
08:47 And we've got the Taylor Burger here,
08:49 so just a namesake burger.
08:50 Maybe the most commented-on video series
08:52 in Barstool sports history.
08:53 [LAUGHTER]
08:54 All joke.
08:55 I was a big-time AWL of Booze and Burgers.
08:58 Like, I did not miss an episode.
08:59 I thought it was good.
09:00 The ambiance.
09:01 Don't overstep Tommy's deck.
09:02 People forget.
09:03 My dad is the number one Booze and Burgers fan in the world.
09:05 People forget.
09:06 I told him the other day, he said,
09:08 those comments were so jealous.
09:10 He said it would make him sick.
09:12 Reading the comments, he was like--
09:13 I told him he's bringing it back.
09:14 He got so excited.
09:15 He said, the only reason I would say not to
09:16 is those comments were so jealous.
09:19 People forget.
09:21 Star of Top Gun Maverick, Miles Teller,
09:23 Booze and Burgers fan.
09:24 Miles Teller, the biggest--
09:25 The biggest Balls Review guy--
09:28 Yep.
09:29 Booze and Burgers Balls Review guy out there.
09:32 He's a booze head.
09:33 I like his voice.
09:35 I just like the way he gets into it.
09:36 He's very, like--
09:37 He's passionate.
09:38 You know, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
09:40 That's what they say.
09:41 Ceratica, Hawaiian-themed place, we will do that.
09:43 It's erotic.
09:44 How many solid number of balls.
09:46 So back to what I was saying.
09:48 We're going to rebrand, though.
09:49 Because we've been on a hiatus.
09:50 We're going to rebrand to Balls Eat World.
09:52 This could be an international show.
09:53 It doesn't have to be New York City.
09:54 We travel a lot.
09:55 It has to be celebrities.
09:56 A celebrity watch the show, likes it, and they go,
09:58 I want to take Glennie to this spot to try this.
10:01 Ballsy Burdain.
10:03 That's the goal, Nate Dogg.
10:05 That's the goal.
10:06 We're going to start with some African stew down the street.
10:08 There's a beautiful African place.
10:09 We haven't.
10:10 It still looks like it's from--
10:12 The mobile gas station is a perfect start.
10:15 And then you branch to the African stew.
10:18 You want them to think--
10:19 you want them to be begging for the burgers in the comments.
10:21 Like they're going, encore, encore, encore.
10:24 Tell me what the first-- what's the first video, then?
10:27 What's the first video?
10:28 African stew.
10:29 It's right down the street.
10:30 It's right down the street.
10:31 African stew is going to be a banger, huh?
10:33 That's more catchy than like--
10:34 Glennie Balls eats African stew?
10:36 You don't want to watch that video?
10:37 I want to watch him go to mobile gas station,
10:39 have a banger of a burger.
10:41 OK, gas station, he goes, like, welcome back to Ballsy World.
10:43 We're going to eat all the great food in the city.
10:45 Next week, we have African stew.
10:47 But I had to start with what I know, a Smash Burger.
10:49 We're starting off with one of the more exotic dishes
10:51 we could find in New York City, a beautiful African stew.
10:53 You've got to address it up front.
10:55 X out.
10:56 Look, if it's not African stew, X out.
10:57 You've got to go, I know you're used to me eating burgers,
11:00 but I'm actually expanding my horizons on Ballsy World.
11:02 Don't adjust your screens.
11:04 And I'll be trying African stew today.
11:06 We're going to be getting rocket.
11:07 We're going to be getting spicy food.
11:08 We're going to be getting burgers.
11:09 We're going to be getting steaks.
11:10 We're going to be getting barbecue.
11:11 We're going to be getting, I don't know, Thai.
11:13 We could do whatever we want on Ballsy World.
11:14 We could bring in guests.
11:15 We could bring in guests.
11:16 We could do Indian.
11:17 We could do chicken vindaloo.
11:18 The world is our oyster at Ballsy World.
11:20 Every Sunday conversation, first, you bring a food with it.
11:24 Ooh, hey, hey, just try this.
11:27 Hey, Ed Sheeran, you want to eat some chicken vindaloo with me?
11:29 Hey, Drake, you want some?
11:31 No, no, no.
11:32 Are we done on Drake?
11:33 No.
11:34 He's not canceled.
11:35 We canceled him.
11:36 We canceled before this show comes out.
11:37 Don't associate with them anymore.
11:38 We don't associate with them anymore.
11:39 We still, I don't know, he's canceled.
11:41 So we're going to bring back Booze and Burgers.
11:43 But we're going to rebrand it.
11:45 Booze and Burgers?
11:47 [laughter]
11:50 Oh, that's not bad, boss.
11:52 [laughter]
11:55 But we're going to do more than burgers.
11:57 We're going to rebrand.
11:58 It's going to be called Ballsy World.
12:01 I like Ballsy Burgers better.
12:04 We just had a conversation about how it should be separate from
12:06 OnlySans to clean up my image.
12:08 Oh, Ballsy World?
12:11 Ballsy World.
12:13 [cross talk]
12:17 You need to become the guy who eats burgers again.
12:19 I appreciate the attempt to move out of that.
12:21 But I don't know that --
12:23 [cross talk]
12:25 No, no, to separate it.
12:27 But I don't know, Ballsy World is like a little --
12:30 Ballsy World is going to hit over here.
12:31 You guys are really tearing me down.
12:33 I just think the flow of it, like the double S, like Ballsy World.
12:37 Like Ballsy World.
12:39 I didn't think about the double S.
12:40 I think Ballsy World is good.
12:42 On OnlySans, boobs and burgers.
12:45 That's good.
12:46 That's good.
12:48 Boobs and burgers.
12:50 That's great.
12:51 She said -- she guessed the name was boobs and burgers.
12:54 Because that's the OnlySans crossover that we've been wanting.
12:57 So, Ballsy World, we focus on not burgers, and with the queens, we do burgers.
13:01 Two new shows.
13:04 Now you're going to have four shows.
13:07 Boobs and burgers is fucking fantastic.
13:10 Boobs and burgers presented by OnlySans, a spin-off of Ballsy World.
13:15 You get the producer credit on that.
13:16 I was going to say, can I be a part of -- I mean, I'm not going to do the boobs and burgers part, but producer credit.
13:21 [laughter]
13:24 Ballsy World.
13:25 Ballsy World.
13:27 That's great.
13:28 That's really good.
13:29 [applause]
13:32 And cut.
13:34 Can I pitch you an idea?
13:36 Pitch him ball ideas.
13:43 Rebrand.
13:44 One of the longest-running shows in Barstool history.
13:47 Maybe the most commented on show in Barstool history.
13:49 There are a lot of comments on the blogs.
13:51 A bunch of comments called me a fat fuck that will die in two years.
13:54 Still here.
13:57 Maybe the most commented show in Barstool history.
14:01 Rebrand so I can eat throughout any cuisine I want.
14:04 Ballsy's World.
14:06 I love it.
14:07 I love it.
14:09 Now, Maria suggested a new name, another offshoot.
14:12 An OnlySans segment, boobs and burgers.
14:16 I love it.
14:18 Greenlit.
14:19 Greenlit.
14:20 Greenlit.
14:21 We were trying to clean up his image with the Ballsy's World.
14:26 And Maria came in and said --
14:28 [laughter]
14:29 This is a great idea.
14:31 My name is co-producer Marty.
14:33 Step into my office, sir.
14:35 What is this?
14:36 So --
14:37 Boobs and burgers?
14:38 No.
14:39 Me too.
14:40 It's a rebrand.
14:42 Ballsy's World.
14:44 [laughter]
14:46 He likes it.
14:47 He likes it.
14:48 Ballsy's World, but we do more than burgers.
14:50 We expand to the whole world.
14:51 We're in New York City.
14:52 We can do whatever we want.
14:53 We can eat whatever we want.
14:55 It's the most culturally diverse city in the country.
14:57 I have a question.
14:58 What's the scale?
15:00 You've got to stick to the scale, right?
15:04 What if it's off seven continents?
15:07 We go one to seven.
15:08 Six continents.
15:09 Just go, yeah, this burger is Africa?
15:12 No, it's based off seven because of the continents.
15:14 This is a six and a seven.
15:16 I think we stick with the ball scale.
15:17 You've got something that works.
15:19 The audience is the ball scale.
15:21 We can stick with the ball scale.
15:22 That's why we're here.
15:23 So we can stick with the ball scale.
15:24 The continentals are crazy wild.
15:26 A little nod.
15:27 No bad ideas.
15:28 No bad ideas.
15:29 It's going to be called Ballsy's World.
15:32 And then you sell it and we get rich.
15:33 I don't sell.
15:35 We also have lovely women of OnlyStans coming here all the time.
15:37 They would love to be in some food videos, I'm sure.
15:40 That's a perfect way to go as well.
15:41 There's too many options here with Ballsy's World.
15:43 It's a missed opportunity.
15:44 We're bringing back Ballsy's World, and we need you to sell it.
15:46 I love it.
15:47 I love it.
15:48 I love it.
15:49 I love it.
15:50 What's tomorrow?
15:52 The first day of production of Ballsy's World.
15:54 The producer doesn't know about tomorrow?
15:57 We should be having a party today.
16:00 We should have a party.
16:01 We should have a party.
16:02 The party paper is goat stew.
16:04 Goat stew, episode one, goat stew.
16:06 What's that?
16:07 We're having goat stew.
16:08 Wait.
16:09 You want to do the burger?
16:10 No, it's Ballsy's World.
16:11 Yes.
16:12 I agree.
16:13 I agree.
16:14 What do you mean?
16:15 You were saying we're going to do the burger, but then go to the world.
16:19 No.
16:20 Rone wants to talk to--
16:21 Ballsy's World.
16:22 Rone wants in on this action.
16:23 Yeah.
16:24 He wants to get on this fucking money pit before it gets started.
16:27 It's Ballsy's World.
16:29 It's got to establish early on.
16:31 You heard the big news?
16:33 Yeah, Ballsy's World starts filming tomorrow.
16:36 First day of production, Tupac.
16:37 Are we having Ethiopian?
16:39 I think we're doing Ethiopian, yes.
16:40 Some goat stew.
16:41 I love Ethiopian.
16:43 I texted my African so I have--
16:44 Whoa.
16:47 I was going to say my African correspondence.
16:50 Why'd you stop at African?
16:53 It sounded funny, so I stopped saying it.
16:55 I texted my African correspondence,
16:56 I said we got to get the jalaf rice and the goat stew.
16:59 And there's the bread, the njura.
17:01 That's the point of all this.
17:03 What's the scale?
17:04 What's the difference?
17:07 You should do it on continent scale.
17:09 How many continents are there?
17:10 Seven.
17:11 That was my idea.
17:12 I got shot down on that.
17:13 You did say that, and it got shot down.
17:15 He said it, and it got shot down.
17:16 I like that idea a lot.
17:19 Who said it?
17:20 I said it.
17:21 He said it.
17:22 I think the people love the ball scale.
17:25 Yeah, ball scale is timeless.
17:26 The ball scale is iconic.
17:28 What if you just moved the ball scale to seven?
17:32 You got to limit it to one dish per episode,
17:35 because if you do all of Ethiopian food,
17:38 then you can't go back to Ethiopian food.
17:40 No, it's only one dish per episode.
17:41 Tomorrow I'm thinking start with goat stew,
17:45 and we're going to get a burger from somewhere,
17:47 and then we got to try one more thing,
17:48 and then we're going to try a chicken vindaloo.
17:50 The burger possibility is around this.
17:52 Maybe a hot dog.
17:54 Stop thinking about burgers and hot dogs.
17:57 This is Balls Eats World.
17:58 Balls Eats World is great.
17:59 Goat stew tomorrow.
18:01 Maybe a chicken vindaloo.
18:03 It'll be a cool show.
18:07 If you named a show, what do you suggest?
18:10 And then you go to a restaurant,
18:11 and only ask the waiter what they suggest,
18:12 and you have to eat it no matter what it is.
18:14 I like that.
18:15 You're brilliant.
18:16 It could be just a segment of Balls Eats World as well.
18:19 Yeah, called "What Do You Suggest?"
18:20 Or a spin-off.
18:21 If we're already thinking spin-offs.
18:22 We're already thinking spin-offs, boobs, and burgers.
18:24 Yeah, or spinning off.
18:26 It's going to be an empire,
18:27 so you guys better get it on the ground floor.
18:29 What about an only-stand spin-off called "What Do You Suggest?"
18:32 Where a girl comes in and you just go,
18:33 "What do you suggest?"
18:35 How about we have the girls come on the show
18:38 and be my guests on the food areas?
18:41 Eh, people don't want to see how girls eat.
18:43 You guys want to come on for an app?
18:46 Yeah, I thought that was the whole point.
18:48 We'll come on for the burger one.
18:50 Can I?
18:51 We've been talking about this gas station for 10 years.
18:53 All right.
18:54 I've been dying to--
18:55 I said he should have started with the "I Got Shot Down."
18:58 The gas station.
19:01 I literally--
19:03 [laughter]
19:06 Those are funny.
19:08 Come in.
19:09 Come in.
19:11 Come in.
19:13 No, no, you come in.
19:15 What are you doing today?
19:17 What are you doing today?
19:19 My show.
19:20 What show?
19:21 You want to try a burger?
19:24 What's that?
19:25 No, I thought--we heard you're going to try some type of burger soon.
19:30 We already did that.
19:31 We got roast beef.
19:33 Yeah, then I did burgers with the scallops.
19:36 Where?
19:37 You got a burger?
19:39 When's the last time you did a burger?
19:41 Oh!
19:43 It's coming back bigger and better than ever.
19:45 Balls eats world, baby.
19:48 It's coming back.
19:49 Hey, hey, I welcome the competition.
19:52 [laughter]
19:55 This is a burger to the city for the both of us.
19:59 I ate 50 of the pots of them.
20:01 No, no, I heard it's back and it's glorious.
20:04 You know who must be pumped?
20:08 Smokes's dad.
20:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah, he knows.
20:11 I remember we'd be on the train in from Fordham,
20:15 and Smokes would be like, "Yeah, my dad doesn't miss a boozing burger."
20:19 I was like, "Oh, that's sick."
20:21 Yeah, you know what?
20:22 I'm going to text him right now and say,
20:24 "Glenn, he's filming his first Balls Eats World episode today,
20:26 trying African stew."
20:29 I love Mr. Smokes.
20:30 He's my king.
20:31 One day we've got to do an episode,
20:32 we've got to have a squealer at the Smokes house.
20:34 Yeah, the Texas squealers that he gets from this butcher in the Poconos.
20:38 Yesterday.
20:39 What?
20:40 We thought that Riggs and Frankie laid the hammer down
20:42 and you were told you couldn't come back to the office.
20:45 No.
20:46 That's not what happened?
20:47 I don't think so, no.
20:48 Oh, okay, good.
20:49 To my knowledge, no.
20:50 Happy to see you here.
20:51 Yeah.
20:52 A little sun kiss.
20:53 Yep.
20:54 I don't know if that was a good series.
20:55 Welcome back.
20:56 Sorry.
20:57 Here I am.
20:58 Oh, there's the door sign.
20:59 Is that right?
21:00 Yeah.
21:01 Happy to see you.
21:02 Whenever they like you.
21:03 Do you text them every morning?
21:04 Am I allowed to go in today or should I sit in my apartment all day?
21:07 See, I told you I didn't say it.
21:09 I don't want to come into the office.
21:10 This is why I don't want to come into the office.
21:12 I don't care.
21:13 Every time Trent comes in, he wants us to be like, "Oh, Trent's here."
21:16 Crazy.
21:17 Well, then you missed Rhea.
21:18 Literally, she was down there.
21:19 Rhea went, "Trent!"
21:20 I jumped up and down, honestly.
21:22 Anyone else?
21:24 I fucking hate talking.
21:27 I really do.
21:28 It's going from like I used to not, I used to be a joke,
21:30 now I actually don't like it.
21:32 Did you hear what today was?
21:33 What's today?
21:34 It's a big day here at Barnsdale Sports.
21:36 What is it?
21:37 Probably the biggest day since April on the coverage of that.
21:39 Tell me.
21:40 It's the first day of principal photography for Balls Eats World,
21:42 my new superhero show.
21:43 Oh, my gosh.
21:44 Yes.
21:45 Yes, yes, yes.
21:46 Huge day.
21:47 Massive.
21:48 Yeah, it's going to be a good day.
21:49 Awesome.
21:50 We're going to go try some goat stew.
21:52 That sounds really good, I bet.
21:54 I bet that's really good.
21:55 Field day.
21:56 New York.
21:57 Field day on Randall's Island.
22:00 I feel good about my team.
22:01 It's me, Tommy Smokes, Jackie, and Billy football.
22:05 We're going to piss Billy off.
22:07 I know that he's probably pissed already that he got slotted with two scrawny guys.
22:13 But we're the purple team, so I wore this.
22:15 Purple rain.
22:16 We're going to make it rain on the competition, you know, not give them money.
22:20 Just beat them.
22:21 It was supposed to be me, KFC, Marty, and Caroline.
22:24 KFC is running late.
22:26 Caroline double booked herself, so I guess we have Meek Phil now,
22:29 which is pretty terrible.
22:31 One of us is going to have to be, I think, tied to Meek Phil.
22:35 We're sharing a potato sack with Meek Phil.
22:38 So that's pretty rough.
22:40 This says sauce?
22:41 Okay, it has bacon.
22:43 Bryce is a virgin.
22:45 Liam, do you remember before when I said I was feeling good about our team?
22:49 I feel less good knowing Tommy is putting a sausage, egg, and cheese, and a coffee.
22:55 Marty pressured me.
22:56 Marty said, "Do you want McDonald's breakfast?"
22:57 And I said, "Yes, but it will fuck up my stomach."
22:59 And he said, "They're not going to have food there, right?"
23:01 And I said, "Good point.
23:02 Get me a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit."
23:04 Whatever.
23:05 I'm sorry, buddy.
23:07 You said Nick Paul Kates at field 60.
23:10 Yeah, I don't know.
23:11 I can't remember.
23:12 How long did you guys walk around?
23:14 An hour.
23:15 An hour?
23:16 Ten minutes.
23:17 But, like, ten minutes.
23:18 But, like, I mean, there's just no one here.
23:21 There's no one here.
23:23 Or I can't find them.
23:24 Nick Heldens is around the corner, and the guy dropped me off there.
23:27 I don't know.
23:29 We'll see you there.
23:30 We'll see you there.
23:31 Field 60.
23:32 I mean, I feel like--
23:34 Wait, what about--
23:35 There's people over there.
23:37 No, that's not--
23:38 The shirtless homeless guy.
23:40 The guy in a pink shirt.
23:42 Number 75 is right there.
23:43 I think we got to go--
23:44 Oh, no.
23:46 Well, Hubs told us to get out, and--
23:48 Go back.
23:49 We were on the team.
23:50 I never said get out.
23:51 You got to get out here.
23:52 Didn't they?
23:53 That's where they positioned--
23:54 He told us--
23:55 There was no position in that sentence.
23:57 He said--
23:58 Get out of the car Grand Theft Auto style.
24:00 Got in.
24:01 I'm very happy around the car.
24:02 I've been here for an hour.
24:05 These for my Mardi Verse here, where I'm facing Pat Fryamuth soon.
24:10 How sick are these?
24:12 I don't even--
24:13 What is on them?
24:14 I don't-- I think they're just roses.
24:16 They're kind of sick.
24:17 I don't think I should wear them today, though, because I think they'll get stuck in the sack.
24:21 John, do you think I should wear them?
24:23 Yeah, they're sick.
24:24 For the team?
24:25 For traction, definitely.
24:26 But what traction do I need?
24:28 You never know.
24:29 Dale was at the Celtics game last night, which is in, I don't know, Boston?
24:33 And we had to be at the field today at 930.
24:36 I didn't know there was going to be traffic.
24:38 This is my captain.
24:39 Yo, where are you?
24:41 [INAUDIBLE]
24:44 Oh, you're actually-- all right, Dana.
24:46 There were people--
24:48 Let's go.
24:49 --at the game last night, so we're just wondering.
24:53 Take your time.
24:54 You're not late.
24:55 Take your self-discipline.
24:56 All right, sounds good.
24:57 Let's go.
24:58 It's so big.
25:00 What the fuck is that?
25:02 You can't wear cleats.
25:03 Oh, no.
25:06 I thought Billy Boopalma was here.
25:08 What?
25:09 I didn't think I was going to wear them.
25:11 I had them in my bag already, so I said, you know what?
25:13 Why?
25:14 You were just playing follow my cause, my cleats?
25:16 Basically, yeah.
25:17 I'm facing Pat Fryer, so I was like, I got to get cleats.
25:20 Did you buy those at the store?
25:22 Yeah.
25:23 They look like they're custom.
25:24 If we win, another great Tommy W.
25:27 If we lose, who really gives a fuck?
25:28 It's a stupid field day, man.
25:30 When we win, we're winning this thing.
25:32 Taking it home to Jersey.
25:34 I'll let you know how much I care about this once it ends.
25:38 I keep asking what he wants to do.
25:39 He's like, I don't know.
25:41 He says he's terrible.
25:42 Whatever, I'm a Swiss Army.
25:44 You're a five-tool player?
25:45 Yeah, five tools.
25:46 Sometimes I'm five tools, sometimes I'm zero tools.
25:50 Most of the time, zero.
25:52 We're what?
25:54 Hundreds of millions of dollars of the company.
25:58 That's the jerseys tonight?
26:00 These are great jerseys.
26:01 This is like the one I wore in CYF.
26:03 The logos.
26:04 Maybe put Barstool on it.
26:07 We got one side.
26:09 We're planning something.
26:11 Why what?
26:12 We got to-- why are we losing this thing?
26:14 We're going to rip the sleeves off to start the video.
26:18 I like that.
26:19 How are you going to do today?
26:20 I don't know.
26:21 You come to an event like this, we did the combine the whole night before.
26:24 You're talking about how you're going to win.
26:25 How are you going to do in this field day?
26:26 I did win the combine.
26:28 I did.
26:29 I won the combine.
26:30 I was the only one who didn't get struck out.
26:34 Freddie, we're going to kill people.
26:37 I got my eyes on Meek Phil.
26:38 He's dead.
26:39 Dude, I feel good.
26:40 You know what?
26:41 I was just looking at all the teams.
26:42 I would really, really love to win the title of the war.
26:43 That's my goal for today.
26:44 I don't care if we lose every other battle.
26:47 Tug of War is what I want to win.
26:49 I want to assert dominance here amongst the gentlemen.
26:54 Is he talking about me?
26:55 Me and him have been beefing recently.
26:57 I wasn't talking about you.
26:58 All right.
26:59 But now that you're here, I really want to win Tug of War against Beers.
27:04 I don't have any strength.
27:05 Neither do I.
27:06 All my muscles gone since those Empik.
27:07 I got none either.
27:10 Oh, yeah.
27:11 [Laughter]
27:14 I knew you looked slim.
27:16 I didn't know.
27:17 I haven't worked out once.
27:20 [Laughter]
27:22 No, I still got a wagon.
27:24 [Laughter]
27:30 I still got flabby ass, though.
27:32 [Laughter]
27:33 Did you stop working out?
27:34 Yes.
27:35 Yeah, I can tell.
27:36 You're looking a little small.
27:37 Stop, stop.
27:38 I'll see you on Tug of War.
27:39 [Laughter]
27:40 I'll see you at the Tug of War, Billy.
27:44 Double GoPro'd me.
27:45 Yeah, me and Vibs.
27:46 That was good.
27:47 Yeah, that's what they wanted.
27:54 Women's deodorant.
27:55 Way better than men's deodorant.
27:57 I'm telling you, Leo.
27:58 Get on that vibe with me.
28:02 I think Vibs is going to really come out big.
28:04 I think this is about agility and about--it's not about strength or brute force.
28:08 I think it's more about being quick on your feet.
28:11 And I think he's probably the most agile person here.
28:13 So I think his team's going to have a pretty big advantage.
28:15 I've got to say, I think the teams are pretty evenly matched.
28:19 You've got to figure anything with Meek Phil, though.
28:21 That's instant.
28:22 That's a champion.
28:23 So if I had to bet on it, you've got to go with Meek Phil.
28:25 Red team.
28:26 Two, one, two, one, two, one, two.
28:29 [Indistinct chatter]
28:33 Go, go, go.
28:35 Come on, boys.
28:36 Come on, fellas.
28:38 Oh, here we go.
28:39 Turn around.
28:40 Turn around.
28:41 [Indistinct chatter]
28:43 You fell twice.
28:45 I thought you guys said it wasn't my fault.
28:47 We were being nice.
28:50 All right, ready, go.
28:51 Got him far.
28:52 All right.
28:55 Dana is out.
28:57 Dana is out.
29:03 Cooling off.
29:04 All out of water.
29:08 Billy, did you hear that?
29:09 Yeah, if it's on me.
29:10 No, first part.
29:12 We're not trying to kill each other.
29:14 Like, don't aim for the head.
29:16 I think Billy just has a white setting.
29:18 I don't think you guys heard that.
29:20 Head shots.
29:22 I need Dana.
29:23 It'll just be the back of your head.
29:24 It's just the head.
29:25 Two, one, go.
29:30 I didn't want to throw it that high.
29:31 Also, if it landed on you, you were supposed to throw it.
29:34 If it lands on you, you have to throw it.
29:36 Yeah, you got to whip it.
29:38 Just don't hit him in the head.
29:40 I was ready to go get it.
29:42 Me, I'm fucking white.
29:44 Me, Meek went front-facing, like, hit me.
29:47 One, go.
29:52 Did it break?
29:53 It didn't even break.
29:54 I don't know if it broke.
29:56 Three, two, one, go.
30:00 [Laughter]
30:07 Fuck, I was right there.
30:10 You all right?
30:11 You got a good belt?
30:13 Perfect.
30:14 All right, we're good.
30:16 Why does it keep landing on me, too?
30:18 Yeah, what the fuck?
30:21 Three, two, one, go.
30:23 Hey.
30:24 Fuck, fuck.
30:25 [Laughter]
30:29 Come on.
30:32 Spidey, you got to ask Dale Jr. about his Cribs episode.
30:34 He was trying to tell me that there's someone in this office
30:36 thinking they're possessed as an owl.
30:38 That what?
30:39 That thinks they're possessed as an owl.
30:41 As an owl?
30:42 Yeah.
30:43 What's that?
30:44 Oh, I get it.
30:45 I'm not going to bop on it.
30:46 You're supposed to say who, who.
30:48 Yeah, that's like the Reese with a knife.
30:50 I thought I had your dumb ass, man.
30:52 Nah, fam, you got to wake up earlier than that.
30:54 Spidey, you got to ask Dale Jr. about his Cribs episode.
30:57 I think I'm going to ask Dale Jr.
30:58 I always remember he had like a fucking little village.
31:00 You should ask him whose birthday he shares in this office.
31:02 I'm going to ask him if he owns a Henway.
31:05 Don't.
31:06 No, not falling for it.
31:08 A Henway, Glenn.
31:09 Do you think that would be appropriate if I ask him that?
31:11 What's that?
31:12 Huh?
31:13 What is that?
31:14 What's what?
31:15 A Henway.
31:16 What?
31:17 Is this another bit?
31:18 What did you say?
31:19 I can't hear you.
31:20 What's a Henway?
31:21 Like five to six pounds, depending on age, maturity, diet.
31:24 What does a Henway?
31:26 Ah.
31:27 That's a good one.
31:28 You should ask him if his car smells like up dog.
31:30 It stinks to possess, buy it out.
31:32 Oh, okay.
31:34 Who was that?
31:38 Huh?
31:39 Who?
31:40 Huh?
31:41 Who?
31:42 Oh, fuck me.
31:43 [Laughter]
31:46 Fuck.
31:47 This is too good.
31:49 Oh, man, that was good.
31:51 I mean, I told you.
31:52 You were sitting there.
31:53 It was just reeling me in.
31:55 Damn.
31:56 Can you go back?
31:57 I'm in my dad joke era.
31:59 Fuck you.
32:00 [Music]

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