00:00 [MUSIC]
00:05 To your wagons!
00:06 [MUSIC]
00:11 It's the cursed widow Jenkins.
00:13 It's too bad she's cursed. I was wondering where she went.
00:16 In a small town of Independence, Missouri, sat the lonely widow, Aveline Jenkins.
00:21 On to the next one.
00:23 Her husband's death prepared her for many things, but nothing could prepare her for what came next.
00:29 Oh no!
00:30 What is it?
00:31 My eczema.
00:32 My daughter, she's getting married.
00:33 Oh, that's great.
00:34 She's 15.
00:35 Historically, still great.
00:37 I have to go west now.
00:39 You should just go without me.
00:41 And I'll catch up.
00:42 Or not.
00:43 [MUSIC]
00:44 To your wagons!
00:45 [MUSIC]
00:47 Want me to trade a covered wagon for a hanging cart?
00:49 It'll reduce your carbon footprint.
00:51 I didn't even consider that.
00:53 From the original cast of Studio C.
00:56 Why does he have band-aids on his nipples?
00:58 He's a runner.
00:59 Who knows why any of those sickos do what they do.
01:01 That's why we do it.
01:02 [MUSIC]
01:04 I'm suffocating.
01:05 [MUSIC]
01:07 [COUGHING]
01:09 [MUSIC]
01:10 What do you want?
01:11 I want my half cent, you thieving enchantress.
01:14 [MUSIC]
01:15 Oh, I'm stuck.
01:17 I'm quite stuck.
01:18 [MUSIC]
01:19 Who's the luckiest girl in the world?
01:21 It's me.
01:22 [MUSIC]
01:23 I believe oxen are much more depressed than I realize.
01:25 [MUSIC]
01:27 Well, howdy-do.
01:29 [MUSIC]
01:31 Narrated by Sean Astin.
01:34 Shall we be off then?
01:35 Westward hail, my comrades.
01:38 Oregon Trail, here I come.
01:39 [MUSIC]
01:41 I got a dysentery down in my bowels.
01:45 Where?
01:46 Down in my bowels today.
01:48 And if that chamber pot don't like it, it can sit on a tap.
01:51 Ouch!
01:52 Sit on a tap today.
01:54 (baby crying)
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