00:00 My name is Lucinda Rose, I am 39 years old and my wedding ruined my life temporarily
00:14 because it burnt me out to a debilitating level.
00:22 Ian actually didn't want a big wedding at all. He kept saying he wanted us to just elope,
00:28 the two of us, and my original plan was to keep it very small, a maximum of 50 people.
00:34 Then I found the venue and everything sort of spiralled from there because the venue
00:39 could fit a lot more people, but we also wanted a pagan hand-fasting ceremony because that
00:45 was also incredibly meaningful to us.
00:47 I then just started to become obsessed with the finer details. My family were paying for
01:12 the majority of it. They then wanted to invite people that they wanted. It then became, "Okay,
01:17 well if you're having those people, then I'm going to invite the other people that I haven't
01:21 put on the list yet." And so it just became bigger and bigger and bigger.
01:38 We wanted to have it very unique to us, which it did end up being, but making it unique
01:44 meant that all these little details kept popping up and it was like, "Well, I want that too
01:49 and I want that." I just became so obsessed with the details and making it personal that
01:55 the budget went completely out of the window.
01:57 And although I did enjoy the day, I don't feel I was particularly present. I got home,
02:14 I burst into tears, I went to bed and I didn't get out of bed for days. I just, this pure
02:21 physical exhaustion.
02:23 I could function, but my brain just was not working. I could only think of what I had
02:44 to do in that minute. I couldn't respond to messages. I couldn't talk to people. I could
02:49 barely have a conversation with Ian.
02:51 I tried to talk to a couple of people, a couple of friends, and they didn't understand.
03:08 They said, "Oh yeah, the wedding blues. It happens to everybody. It's because you were
03:12 so..." They just dismissed it. We are conditioned to only talk about the good stuff and not
03:18 the bad stuff because the bad stuff is shameful.
03:31 I found a community of people who could relate. It's all about it looking nice and shiny on
03:37 Instagram and not actually the reality. I know that I'm not alone in how I feel. It's
03:42 just that the people around me, they're either not telling the truth or they really don't
03:48 understand.
03:49 I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone.
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