00:00 - I have never been to a garage sale before.
00:02 - No, no, no.
00:03 Garage sales are for alive people's crap.
00:06 Estate sales are for dead people's treasures.
00:11 [audience laughter]
00:12 - Well, I will not be buying someone else's used items.
00:16 - What, you don't like bargains?
00:18 - I like bargains.
00:19 I do not like cooties.
00:21 [audience laughter]
00:22 - Well, you're gonna miss out on a lot.
00:23 The bereaved are terrible hagglers.
00:26 I want some of that.
00:28 [audience laughter]
00:30 - I once bought a diamond necklace for $100
00:34 because the dead lady's daughter couldn't bear to look at it.
00:38 - You should not prey on other people's sadness.
00:41 - This is real silver.
00:43 [audience laughter]
00:44 - It's only $20?
00:46 - I changed my mind.
00:47 This is worth the cooties.
00:49 [audience laughter]
00:51 - See Mr. Weepy over there?
00:53 I can get it down to 10.
00:55 [audience laughter]
00:57 [silence]
Comments