00:00 And this, what is the point of this tiny little heel?
00:02 This is like an orthopedic drag shoe.
00:05 I'm Bianca Del Rio,
00:06 and I'm playing Expensive Taste Test with Cosmo.
00:08 I think I have expensive taste,
00:11 but by looking at me, you can tell that I'm cheap,
00:15 if that makes any sense.
00:16 (upbeat music)
00:18 We've got some earrings here.
00:22 I know a lot about jewelry.
00:24 Now, my first instinct is to look at these,
00:27 'cause I like these, and they are flashier,
00:30 so I go, okay, this is gonna probably be
00:32 the more expensive pair,
00:34 but you wouldn't do that to me, would you?
00:36 No, I think, mm, but these aren't green on the back.
00:40 A big pet peeve of mine.
00:41 (groans)
00:43 The clasp on these look a little fancier.
00:46 This one, not so much.
00:47 This is a lot like me, pretty from the front,
00:49 not so attractive from the back.
00:50 These have some heft to it.
00:51 These seem more like a luxury item.
00:54 I think, in my humble opinion,
00:56 that these are the more expensive earrings.
01:00 Am I right?
01:01 (cash register dings)
01:03 (laughs)
01:05 Expensive taste.
01:07 Bring on the next one.
01:08 (upbeat music)
01:10 I'm now given two handheld fans, am I correct?
01:17 On first feel, this over here
01:19 appears to be a little heavier.
01:22 Are there batteries in this,
01:23 or is this some type of contraption?
01:25 All right, so this charges, but the heft on this,
01:28 it seems nice, it seems like it'd be more expensive
01:30 'cause it's heavy,
01:32 but then you gotta lug it around all day.
01:34 Let's see how it blows.
01:35 Oh, there it comes.
01:37 All right.
01:38 All right, it's a nice breeze.
01:40 So far, this seems like an expensive item
01:42 that you wouldn't wanna buy for yourself,
01:44 but that weird gift you get at Christmas
01:46 that somebody picked up at the mall.
01:49 Okay, set our aside.
01:50 This one here, light, compact,
01:53 perfect for a gay man.
01:54 Hey girl, hey girl.
01:56 You can still hold your drink,
01:58 still keeps you cool, but it is lighter.
02:00 This seems more like a drugstore.
02:03 This more seems like a New Jersey mall.
02:06 I would say the one on my right hand
02:08 is the more expensive blower.
02:10 (cash register dings)
02:12 Ah!
02:13 Yes!
02:15 Yes!
02:17 God, to get blown properly on camera.
02:20 (upbeat music)
02:23 Next, we have travel sewing kits.
02:28 I am pretty aware of the sewing serial,
02:30 so I'm pretty good with this.
02:31 So let me look at this one here.
02:33 Okay, these are cottony threads,
02:37 which is not gonna really work well in a pinch.
02:40 You wanna have something with a little rayon in it
02:43 so it actually pulls in and out.
02:44 This gets all gunked up.
02:46 You can always tell by the scissors.
02:49 Okay, the scissors do have some heft to it, okay?
02:52 Scissors are not bad.
02:54 This right here, this is the cheapest thing
02:57 you're ever gonna buy.
02:57 So you wanna avoid these.
02:59 These fix nothing!
03:01 Okay, so so far this is the cheap one.
03:03 Who the hell actually starts knitting on a trip?
03:06 Like all of a sudden,
03:07 "I gotta re-crochet that blouse."
03:09 No, don't get it.
03:10 Let me see, how do we like this?
03:12 You want this standing up?
03:13 Let's see this one.
03:15 Okay, now this is arranged better than this one.
03:19 This one has obviously got some heft to it,
03:21 but at this point, since I seem to be so smart,
03:24 these are probably the same price
03:26 and you're just (beep) with me.
03:28 Let's check the scissors.
03:29 It's a smooth scissor.
03:31 Scissor, scissor, scissor, scissor.
03:33 All of a sudden I'm having a stroke.
03:35 Scissor!
03:36 Okay, it's a good scissor.
03:37 There's good scissors in both of them,
03:40 but for some reason I'm leaning towards this.
03:42 Not that it's bigger, that it's more expensive,
03:44 but I just feel like this might be the more expensive item.
03:49 (cash register dings)
03:52 Ah, three for three!
03:55 (laughs)
03:56 It's a telltale sign, those little shitty needles.
03:59 You don't wanna use those.
04:00 (upbeat music)
04:03 So next we have blush, which I know a little bit about.
04:10 Okay, just looking at it.
04:12 This here, nice heft to it.
04:16 Nice sleek black finish.
04:19 If it's a bitch to open, that means it's expensive.
04:22 It's a bitch, okay.
04:24 Nice little shimmery color, little pinky color.
04:27 This so far, I think is the heftier, more expensive item.
04:32 Now let's go to this one.
04:33 Very lightweight for a gal on the go.
04:36 Opens easy.
04:37 No glitter in it, no shimmer in it.
04:41 I'm gonna test them out on my wrist,
04:42 because everyone needs a properly rouged wrist.
04:46 Uh-huh, look how feminine my wrist looks.
04:48 As a gay man, my wrist is already feminine.
04:50 (crew laughs)
04:51 I mean, that goes on nicely.
04:52 Not much pigment, so once again,
04:54 I think this is the cheapy.
04:56 But let's test the pigment.
04:58 You'd think with these man hands,
05:00 I could open this a lot faster.
05:02 All right.
05:03 Oh, I see the shimmer.
05:06 I do see the shimmer.
05:08 I think the more expensive item is this one on my right.
05:13 (bell dings)
05:15 Look at this!
05:16 Look at that!
05:18 You said I wasn't gonna win.
05:19 (upbeat music)
05:21 Next, we have a Drag Queen faux paw kitten heels.
05:29 No drag queen should be wearing this shoe ever.
05:33 First of all, this thing back, not pretty for a man foot.
05:37 And this, what is the point of this tiny little heel?
05:40 This is like an orthopedic drag shoe.
05:42 I wouldn't recommend it,
05:44 but I will still continue with my job
05:46 of trying to decide which is expensive and which is cheap.
05:50 All right, I'm gonna look at this pair first.
05:52 I usually go to the right, but I'm gonna go to the left.
05:54 I'm gonna look at this lovely shade of taupe,
05:58 a nice patent leather, possibly faux.
06:02 I'm looking at it closely.
06:03 There is craftsmanship in the heel.
06:06 It's not my taste in shoe, but it could be expensive.
06:10 Let's check these over here.
06:13 Oh, there's some heft to these.
06:16 Not my style.
06:17 The only redeeming thing about the shoe
06:19 is that it's a slight mirror,
06:20 so I can see myself in it,
06:21 which would probably be very helpful
06:22 for those ladies who are in a long line in a bathroom.
06:25 I don't know.
06:26 Little buckle in the front detail
06:29 seems to be more expensive, maybe.
06:32 Or they're trying to be expensive,
06:33 'cause that's also another trick they do with shoes.
06:35 They add more shit to make it look fancy.
06:38 These are the least expensive,
06:40 and these are the more expensive.
06:42 I am going to, what do I win anyway?
06:47 Do I win anything for this?
06:48 I become a Cosmo girl, right?
06:49 I get to be on the cover, right?
06:51 That's, yeah, yeah, I thought that's what it was.
06:52 Negotiate!
06:53 I will drink anything, all right?
07:01 And usually if it burns more, it's cheaper.
07:04 That's what I find to be true.
07:06 Should I sample the one on the right first?
07:07 I'm going to.
07:08 Oh, it's not even chilled.
07:10 Oh, this is really gonna put hair on my chest.
07:12 Okay, sample one.
07:14 Hmm.
07:19 Okay.
07:20 Not bad.
07:22 Smooth.
07:23 Smooth.
07:24 Now, I don't normally drink vodka by itself,
07:26 but today I made an exception.
07:28 That's a lie, I drink all the time.
07:29 Oh God, inside.
07:30 I mean, are my insides are burning?
07:32 Is your shirts only vodka?
07:33 I don't trust you with that smirk.
07:35 All right, let me try the second one.
07:37 Hmm.
07:42 Not as smooth.
07:43 Not as smooth, a rough year for that potato.
07:45 Mm-mm, mm-mm.
07:47 All right, I would say, in my humble alcoholic opinion,
07:52 this is the more expensive one.
07:55 Boop, right there.
07:56 Ah!
08:00 I'm a drunk and a good chopper.
08:02 Yes, yes!
08:04 I have never won anything in my life,
08:05 except Drag Race.
08:06 I haven't won anything else in my life.
08:07 This is amazing.
08:08 Well, as I look at them,
08:15 these seem a little crusty.
08:19 Let me taste it, let's test.
08:21 Okay, I can feel the salt.
08:23 You really want me to bloat today, don't you?
08:25 Here, have some vodka, Bianca.
08:26 Eat a chip.
08:27 All right.
08:31 Mm, a lot of flavor here.
08:34 Not a bad crunch.
08:36 I mean, now, I am a chip expert,
08:39 where I can always know at a restaurant
08:41 if they've just re-heated the chips or if they're fresh.
08:44 These seem like they've been in a bag for a while.
08:46 You know, let me try these.
08:48 These are a little more golden.
08:50 They appear to be a little more authentic.
08:53 Not as salty.
08:54 Let's do the test.
08:56 Get that gold mine in here.
09:01 (chips crunching)
09:04 Mm, mm.
09:04 Okay.
09:07 Just by taste, heft, salt content,
09:12 that these are the more expensive chips?
09:17 (bell dings)
09:19 This is it, this is it.
09:21 I am gonna own Cosmo.
09:22 I am now getting the center spread and cover.
09:25 Yes!
09:27 You know what's sad?
09:28 Is that a 48-year-old drag queen
09:29 is taking pride in the fact that I know
09:31 the difference between cheap vodka and cheap chips.
09:33 This, I'm making my father proud today.
09:36 That's what I'm doing, if I knew who my father was.
09:39 (upbeat music)
09:42 Macaroons, now this is my favorite dessert.
09:47 And from the looks of it, these look raspberry, am I right?
09:49 Now these are a little heartier.
09:51 These are a little more bite-sized,
09:53 which makes me feel like this would be something
09:55 that you would see in some fancy French patisserie,
09:57 very small and concise, 'cause I'm French.
10:00 And this seems like an American type,
10:02 where they go, "Yeah, they look close enough."
10:04 So let's see.
10:05 I'm gonna have a taste.
10:07 Do you like my American accent?
10:10 I don't know.
10:11 Now, it feels a little gummy.
10:16 Doesn't feel as fresh.
10:19 Feels as though it's been sitting
10:22 in a container for a hot minute.
10:24 Let me try this one.
10:27 Oh, oh, oh, mm-mm, mm-mm.
10:31 Now this, mm-hmm, and maybe it's just the vodka talking,
10:35 but this flavors 100%.
10:39 Freshness, enjoyable, tasty, good.
10:43 This is, mm-hmm, yeah.
10:46 I would say that these right here
10:49 are the more expensive macaroons.
10:54 (bell dings)
10:56 (buzzer buzzes)
10:57 (yells)
10:59 Stop!
11:03 (yells)
11:06 Well, thank you for watching me play
11:08 Expensive Taste Test with Cosmo,
11:10 and sadly, we got one wrong.
11:12 If you enjoyed this episode,
11:13 you will enjoy my new show that I'm on tour with
11:16 called Dead Inside.
11:17 We hit over 60 cities in America and the USA
11:20 and the rest of the world to follow.
11:23 So come and see me!
11:25 (upbeat music)
11:27 (upbeat music)
11:30 (upbeat music)
11:32 (upbeat music)
11:35 (upbeat music)
11:37 (upbeat music)
11:40 (upbeat music)
11:43 (upbeat music)
11:45 (upbeat music)
11:48 (upbeat music)
11:50 (upbeat music)
11:53 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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