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00:00 It's just really hard when you think what your baby's going through and that again that is not something
00:05 natural that a child should feel
00:08 When they come out you want everything again to feel very cozy and loving and slow and serene
00:16 And it's just you hear hospital machines you you get pricked and they get touched by midwives and of course
00:23 It's for the good. It's good for them, but it's just not how
00:28 You thought it would go and you and for them. It's just painful to come out and have an infection
00:33 It's painful and you have all these struggles. It's a lot of pain
00:37 Yeah, and like you're saying you're still going through your recovery your physical recovery
00:43 Yeah, I was taken down in a wheelchair
00:46 because obviously you're not
00:49 walking properly and
00:52 and
00:53 You can't get up and the first thing that you want to do is just hold your baby, right?
00:58 You want to hold them and you rock them, but you can't you just
01:01 You just have to just look at them and I remember crying because I couldn't get the wheelchair close enough
01:06 Again to to her bed. Yeah
01:09 and and that was traumatizing and
01:13 Emotionally very exhausting very very very exhausting