00:00 I have to be honest, my career is going very well right now.
00:05 This is the last night of the biggest tour I've ever done.
00:08 I am filming my third Netflix special tonight.
00:10 And recently, someone was using my name and photos on a dating app.
00:14 It was me. I was doing it.
00:18 Nobody wants anybody to have it all.
00:21 It's why they keep putting out Marilyn Monroe documentaries,
00:23 where they're like, "She's actually pretty sad."
00:25 And we're like, "Yeah, she fucking was."
00:28 If someone has their soulmate, you don't want them to have their dream job too.
00:31 If someone has their dream job, they don't get to be in love on top of that.
00:34 If someone has their dream job and their soulmate,
00:36 fair minimum their parents better be divorced.
00:39 I'd prefer they were an orphan.
00:42 [laughter]
00:44 [applause]
00:46 [music]
00:48 [music]
00:51 [music]
00:54 [music]
00:56 [music]
00:58 [music]
01:00 [music]
01:02 [music]
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