00:00 I'm saying did you make a good decision and decide not to steal food?
00:04 Yeah, I was hungry today.
00:06 Okay, so did you take some food?
00:07 Yeah, I did.
00:08 Okay, where did you put it?
00:09 In my bag.
00:10 Okay, so let's go over here.
00:12 Okay, we're gonna have to get the back...
00:14 I want you to understand, I'm more than happy...
00:17 If you're hungry...
00:18 I'm hungry.
00:19 Okay, I'm more than happy to get you something.
00:21 Okay.
00:21 But we don't do that through the means of theft.
00:23 Okay.
00:23 Does that make sense?
00:24 I don't have any food stamps right now.
00:25 That's okay, I can help.
00:27 Okay.
00:27 Okay, so what did you take?
00:29 I took some meat from the meat department.
00:31 Okay, so why don't we go ahead...
00:33 We'll go ahead and go over...
00:34 Do you have any outstanding warrants for your arrest?
00:35 No, sir, nothing at all.
00:37 Okay, do you have a valid ID out of Colorado?
00:39 Yes, sir, I do.
00:40 Okay, so here's what I'd like to do.
00:42 Okay, we're gonna go ahead and go to the cashier.
00:45 We're gonna turn in that stuff.
00:46 Okay.
00:46 I'm gonna issue you a petty offense ticket, and you get to walk away.
00:50 Okay.
00:50 And then I'm gonna go ahead and get you some food.
00:52 Okay.
00:52 Does that sound good?
00:53 Yeah.
00:54 Okay, let's do that.
00:55 So, what do we think?
00:57 Do we want to get something already made?
01:00 Do you want something from Starbucks?
01:02 It's like a sandwich and a drink, if you'd buy me.
01:04 Okay.
01:05 Oh, perfect.
01:07 Pick out whatever sandwich you want.
01:09 Okay.
01:10 You got it, man.
01:11 Go ahead, you can...
01:12 If you want to leave, you can.
01:13 No big deal.
01:14 Thank you very much.
01:15 You bet. Have a wonderful day.
01:16 (audience laughing)
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