00:00 I got on the next bus. I sat in the very last seat in the middle row.
00:06 We began to drive out to the Golden Gate Bridge.
00:11 And that's when it hit me.
00:17 I realized I didn't want to die at all.
00:20 I realized that I thought, I said, "What are you doing, Kevin? Get off the bus."
00:28 I just wanted the pain to stop.
00:30 That's the common denominator of people who lose to suicide.
00:33 They just want the pain to stop.
00:35 I was walking up to the bus driver hoping that he would see my pain.
00:39 But I could not say it overtly. I could not tell him to look at me and say, "Hey, kid, are you okay?
00:47 Hey, kid, is something wrong? Can I help you?"
00:50 The bus got to the bridge. I sat there crying.
00:54 The bus driver turned, he stood, he looked at me and he said, "Kid, come on. Get off the bus. I gotta go."
01:00 There was a guy to my left. He said to the fellow next to him while pointing me with his thumb,
01:04 "What the hell's wrong with that kid?" with a smile on his face.
01:07 I thought, "That's it. Nobody cares. Nobody cares."
01:15 Come on. Everybody cared.
01:22 I just couldn't see it.
01:24 I walked back toward the traffic. I ran as fast as I could.
01:28 I threw myself over the rail.
01:31 The millisecond that my hands left that rail, instant regret for my actions
01:38 and the absolute recognition
01:41 that I just made the greatest mistake of my life.
01:47 I hit the water. A vacuum opened up and sucked me beneath the water about 70 to 80 feet.
01:53 My legs were completely immobile. I had shattered my lower vertebrae into shards like glass.
01:58 But then I opened my eyes.
02:01 The deep, dark depression that brought me to that day had disappeared.
02:06 The only thing I wanted to do, needed to do, had to do was survive.
02:14 I realized I was going down. I shot for what I thought was the surface.
02:18 As fast as my arms would take me and I saw the lit water above me,
02:23 I could see my destination and I thought, "You're not going to make it."
02:27 I don't understand. I don't want to drown. I made a mistake.
02:31 I broke the surface. Barely made it.
02:35 We're back now with Kevin Hines, who at the age of 19 attempted to take his own life.
02:41 Kevin, what happened with the sea lion?
02:44 When I resurfaced, I swam 70 feet with one breath and without the use of my legs.
02:52 It was the fastest I ever swam because I knew I wanted to live.
02:55 I break the surface. I bob up and down in the water. I can't stay afloat.
02:58 I keep going down. My boots are waterlogged. I cannot stay afloat. I'm going to drown.
03:01 And that's when something began circling beneath me faster and faster and faster and faster.
03:05 And of course, I think it's a shark. So I'm freaking out.
03:09 I try to punch his thing. It won't go away.
03:11 In the water, as I flailed to stay afloat and couldn't stay above water,
03:15 a sea lion came to my aid.
03:17 There was no shark, but there was a sea lion.
03:20 And the people above, looking down, believed to be keeping your body afloat
03:23 until the Coast Guard boat arrived behind you.
03:25 Oh my God.
03:26 I got to live here because a creature saw me in danger and acted immediately.
03:30 And to me, that's like my guardian angel who saved me that day,
03:34 along with the Coast Guard who pulled me out of the water.
03:38 The Coast Guard arrived.
03:40 They fished me out of the water, and they started asking me a bunch of questions.
03:43 Guy looks at me. He leans in, and he says,
03:46 "Kid, do you know how many people we pull out of this water that are already gone?"
03:52 And I said, "No, and I don't want to know."
03:56 And he said, "Well, I'm going to tell you.
03:58 This unit has pulled 57 dead bodies out of this water,
04:02 and one live one."
04:05 [♪♪]
04:07 Our next guest today also attempted to end his own life,
04:14 but Kevin Hines survived and now uses his life to spread the message
04:18 there is hope and there is help.
04:21 I want to help people understand
04:25 that their thoughts don't have to lead them to an attempt.
04:29 Their thoughts don't have to become their actions when they're suicidal.
04:34 You're going to help change people's lives, okay?
04:36 That's your life goal. Change people's lives for the better, okay?
04:39 That's it.
04:40 If we do not talk openly about what suicide is,
04:47 who it affects, and how it affects them,
04:50 if we do not use the word safely,
04:54 with education and awareness,
04:56 we run the risk of missing all those people who have it on their minds.
05:03 But I say to you now, the next time you see someone in obvious emotional distress,
05:09 I beg of you to walk up to that person
05:12 and say something to the effect of, "Are you okay?"
05:15 You could quite literally save a life in that moment.
05:18 Everywhere I go in the world, and I travel everywhere I can,
05:21 to talk about this story,
05:23 when you tell someone's story, they tell you theirs.
05:25 And then they tell you their truth for the first time
05:27 they've never told anybody in their lives.
05:29 My purpose is to ignite people to share the truth
05:32 because a pain shared is a pain halved.
05:34 Anybody out there watching this right now,
05:36 considering it, what do you want them to know?
05:39 Stop. Breathe.
05:43 In four seconds, out eight. Do it 30 times.
05:46 Stop. Breathe.
05:48 You got plenty of time to die.
05:50 It doesn't have to be by your hands.
05:52 That destroys everyone left behind, but don't feel guilty about it.
05:55 You want to live because you deserve this life.
05:58 One thing you should never do is silence your pain.
06:02 I silenced my pain for years.
06:04 I buried it deep down inside me like so many people do,
06:10 and I lost myself.
06:12 And it came out in a burst of rage against myself
06:17 that led me to attempt to take my life.
06:19 I thought I had to die,
06:22 and I was wrong.
06:24 Learn from me.
06:28 [Music]
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07:08 [Music]
07:11 (gentle music)
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