00:00 This is the first record where I absolutely stopped caring what people think.
00:05 If it feels right, other people will feel it too.
00:09 I had a feeling it was going to do well, but what it did was like, "What the heck?"
00:13 I was always very sheltered. I never really dared to
00:16 really express exactly how I felt about someone.
00:18 I wrote it from such a vulnerable place in my heart.
00:22 Like a couple people have been like, or corporations have been like,
00:24 "Let's do a lyric breakdown." I'm like, "I'm saving it for Genius."
00:26 "Saving it for Genius." And we're here now, so that's so cool.
00:29 ♪
00:36 ♪ Black hole opened in the kitchen ♪
00:39 ♪ Every clock's a different time ♪
00:46 ♪ It would only take the energy to fix it ♪
00:56 Black hole, it's like this limitless, unfathomable thing in time.
01:00 Also this limitless, unfathomable thing in the kitchen.
01:04 It's so domestic and changing the clocks is actually so easy.
01:08 So it's like these things that should be easy about life
01:12 are actually tied to these things that feel like you can't even touch them,
01:16 which is a flavor of mental illness that I think a lot of people deal with.
01:23 Just not being able to actually do executive function to deal with something.
01:27 Too tired to piss, too full of piss to sleep.
01:30 [laughter]
01:33 Every night.
01:34 And that's this guy, I think. That's this version of us.
01:39 ♪ There for the grace of God goes you ♪
01:41 ♪ Smiling when I ask if she's bored yet ♪
01:44 ♪ Wonder if we took it too far ♪
01:45 ♪ There but for the grace of God goes you ♪
01:48 There's a spin on, I believe,
01:50 a gentleman watching some people being taken off to be executed saying,
01:53 you know, "There but for the grace of God goes I."
01:56 So it's almost me flipping it almost to be like,
01:58 "I wish I could be in that position. I wish I could be going with you."
02:01 ♪ And I love Vermont but it's the season of the sticks ♪
02:05 ♪ And I sock your mom, she forgot that I existed ♪
02:10 ♪ And it's half my fault but I just like to play the victim ♪
02:13 ♪ I'll drink alcohol till my friends come home for Christmas ♪
02:18 ♪ And I'll dream each night of some version of you ♪
02:21 ♪ That I might not have but I did not lose ♪
02:25 ♪ Now you're tired tracks in one pair of shoes ♪
02:29 ♪ And I'm split in half but that old half to do ♪
02:33 I always like to throw a good mom exchange into my songs if I can.
02:38 And this one I felt like was particularly sad,
02:41 just the idea that there was a person that was,
02:43 tangential to your life for so long that completely forgot about you.
02:47 ♪ Don't you notice how I get quiet when there's no one else around ♪
02:57 ♪ Me and you in awkward silence ♪
03:00 ♪ Don't you dare look at me that way ♪
03:06 ♪ I don't need reminders of how you don't feel the same ♪
03:12 I talk a lot but when I'm with someone I really like, I get quiet.
03:16 And I guess I'm kind of addressing to this person,
03:18 I'm like, "Don't you notice I get quiet when it's just the two of us
03:22 and it's just me and you in awkward silence?"
03:24 And they're like looking at you, kind of in a loving way but not really.
03:30 Then you're like, "Don't look at me that way."
03:32 It's just like a reminder that you actually can't have them.
03:36 ♪ Take me to church ♪
03:36 ♪ I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies ♪
03:40 ♪ I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife ♪
03:44 I have to say, yeah, the magnificence of cathedrals,
03:46 but you wonder, "Okay, who paid for that?"
03:48 And it's everybody.
03:49 It's everybody who lived in its shadow.
03:51 And look, there's some misunderstanding as well about where I come from.
03:55 Like, I've come from a Catholic family,
03:57 but the idea of confession and that there's one person in a community
04:00 who hears everybody's secrets is such an outrageous power imbalance.
04:06 ♪ Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time ♪
04:10 ♪ You and I drink the poison from the same vine ♪
04:14 ♪ Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time ♪
04:17 ♪ Hiding all of our sins from the daylight ♪
04:21 The chorus is really the climax in the story in "Daylight."
04:26 I was giving into darkness that grew in my life like a root beneath a tree.
04:33 I knew I should be giving more into the light.
04:35 ♪ A little context if you care to listen ♪
04:38 ♪ I find myself in a shit position ♪
04:40 ♪ The man that I love sat me down last night ♪
04:43 ♪ And he told me that it's over, dumb decision ♪
04:46 Ray, what is it?
04:47 "Dumb" or "Done?"
04:48 Basically, I recorded it as "Done Decision," D-O-N-E.
04:52 And then Tia, shout out Tia, when I played her the first demo,
04:56 she's like, "Oh, 'Dumb Decision,' that's sick. I love that lyric."
04:59 And I was like, "Oh, it's actually 'Dumb Decision,' but I like that more.
05:03 So let's just do that."
05:04 I didn't re-record it.
05:05 I was just like, "Let's just write in the lyrics and I'm sure it'll be fine."
05:08 Yeah, but people was like, "Is it 'Dumb,' is it 'Done?'"
05:11 But it's both.
05:12 Every time my dad took me to the corner store,
05:26 he would always put on his fake Spanish accent
05:30 when he's ordering something or purchasing something in the store.
05:32 So that's where that came from.
05:33 I was like, "Give me beso, show me some love."
05:36 That's why I was like, "Don't play with it, don't play with it.
05:38 Give me beso, show me some love."
05:40 Guys, talk is cheap.
05:57 Guys know how to talk.
05:58 They'll promise you the world.
06:00 They'll tell you this, that, that, that.
06:01 But when it's time to show, then, "Dololo, there's nothing."
06:05 I hate that.
06:05 Like guys that just talk?
06:07 Nah.
06:07 I was just thinking about how sad it was that,
06:28 not that I had to die, but that I had to stop living.
06:31 Because I love living life.
06:35 I love people.
06:36 I love the world.
06:37 And so I was thinking, "I wish this love in me that is temporary
06:42 could go up to the eternal moon and keep shining down with it."
06:48 (upbeat music)
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