00:00 (doorbell rings)
00:02 - Oh.
00:03 (audience laughs)
00:04 Hi, Dad.
00:05 I'm gonna put this wreath up here.
00:10 - What's the matter with Rudolph?
00:12 - Well, Dad, you know, I just think
00:13 that Christmas decorations should be
00:15 understated and tasteful.
00:16 - Boy, I can't even have one thing that I want.
00:19 (audience laughs)
00:20 - Dad, I'm sorry, but if I gave you one thing,
00:22 God knows where it might lead.
00:24 (door opens)
00:27 (door closes)
00:30 (audience laughs)
00:33 - Oh, God.
00:39 My childhood Christmas is all over again.
00:41 (audience laughs)
00:43 Only now Mom isn't here to say, "Shut up,
00:44 you'll hurt his feelings."
00:46 (audience laughs)
00:47 Oh, don't be such a grinch.
00:48 - Ho, ho, ho.
00:51 - It works when you step on the mat.
00:55 - Ho, ho, ho.
00:57 - It can say, "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas
00:59 or Happy Holidays."
01:00 - Well, I hope it can say, "Geronimo,"
01:01 'cause I'm gonna throw him off the balcony.
01:03 (audience laughs)
01:05 - Well, I'm off to Joe's parents' house.
01:08 - So you've been busy in the kitchen.
01:09 - Yeah, I'm bringing Grammy Moon's famous plum dough.
01:13 It's a still flour pudding boiled in a cloth bag.
01:16 - Yeah.
01:17 - Who gets to lick the bag?
01:19 (audience laughs)
01:20 - You see, Grammy Moon had a secret ingredient.
01:23 She'd soak it for hours in rum,
01:25 then ignite it in a blinding flash.
01:27 As soon as she came out of the kitchen with no eyebrows,
01:30 we knew dessert was ready.
01:32 (audience laughs)
01:33 You know, to this day,
01:35 the smell of burning hair puts me in the holiday spirit.
01:37 (audience laughs)
01:39 Bye, Merry Christmas.
01:41 - Merry Christmas.
01:41 - You know, someone's gonna have to go back down
01:44 to the storeroom.
01:45 There's still something missing.
01:47 - You must be kidding, Dad.
01:48 My God, this place couldn't look any more ludicrous.
01:50 (bells jingling)
01:51 (audience laughs)
01:54 (audience laughs)
01:56 (doorbell rings)
02:00 - Once I saw how those white hairs on his chin
02:02 looked like a beard,
02:03 the rest of the idea just fell into place.
02:05 (audience laughs)
02:08 - Niles, hello, Frazier.
02:11 (audience laughs)
02:16 I know, I know, shut up, it'll hurt his feelings.
02:17 (audience laughs)
02:20 - So, Niles, did you have a discussion with Marisol?
02:23 - No, but I had an epiphany.
02:25 (audience laughs)
02:26 I realized cutting off my funds is Marisol's way
02:29 of saying I love you.
02:30 (audience laughs)
02:32 She always uses money to get what she wants.
02:34 Ergo, this is proof she wants me back.
02:37 What do you think?
02:38 - Ho, ho, ho.
02:40 (audience laughs)
02:43 - I think Santa said it all for us.
02:45 (audience laughs)
02:47 (audience laughs)
02:50 - Dad, you have to get out more.
02:56 (audience laughs)
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