00:00 [MUSIC]
00:10 Are you still here? You need to get going!
00:14 I can't get going. I told you I don't feel well.
00:17 What's the matter now?
00:19 Oh, nothing! I just had explosive fucking diarrhea all night because you decided to get us KFC for dinner!
00:25 You have KFC all the time!
00:27 Yeah, and I have diarrhea all the time!
00:29 You're not staying home all day and playing Baldur's Gate 3. Now let's go!
00:34 Ugh!
00:36 Have a good day at school, sweetie!
00:38 Fuck you, mom!
00:40 This is bullshit! How do you get your mom arrested for child abuse?
00:46 She wouldn't let you stay home and play Baldur's Gate 3, huh fat ass?
00:50 Who you calling fat, you heathen bitch?
00:52 Dude, you don't want to miss school today.
00:55 Clyde said he's gonna fart on Tammy Mullins during P.E.
00:58 Tammy Mullins has sweet fucking knockers.
01:00 Dude, Kenny, enough about Tammy's knockers.
01:03 You sound like a white male trying to re-establish the patriarchy.
01:06 [SCREAMING]
01:09 Eric, it's okay! It's okay!
01:11 Ma! Ma! I had a dream that I was replaced by a diverse woman!
01:16 Oh, not again.
01:18 Yeah, only this time it wasn't just me.
01:20 They were taking all my favorite people and replacing them with diverse women complaining about the patriarchy.
01:25 Will you check under the bed and make sure there's no Disney executives under there?
01:28 I promise there's not.
01:30 I'm scared, mom! Will you please just look and make sure Kathleen Kennedy isn't under my bed?
01:34 Kathleen Kennedy is not under your bed.
01:38 Can you check the closet?
01:39 Eric, enough!
01:41 I've told you there's no such thing as Disney executives who replace everyone you love with diverse women who complain about the patriarchy.
01:48 Now be a big boy.
01:50 It's not real.
01:54 Linkin Park, joining the Pandaverse all new. Now streaming exclusively on Paramount Pledge.
02:00 [MUSIC]
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02:15 [MUSIC]
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