00:00 (eerie music)
00:02 (eerie music)
00:05 (eerie music)
00:07 (door creaks)
00:28 (footsteps)
00:30 (door creaks)
00:38 (door slams)
00:40 (blows)
00:45 (door creaks)
00:49 - Fuck.
00:51 - It's me, it's just me.
00:52 - You scared the shit out of me.
00:53 - I know, I'm sorry.
00:55 I didn't expect to see you here.
00:58 - Well, I live here.
00:59 - But, if any of this information were to leave this room,
01:07 I will find you.
01:09 (laughs)
01:12 No, just kidding.
01:12 (laughs)
01:15 Sort of.
01:16 - Have you ever been shot?
01:18 - Yes.
01:19 - Can we see the scars?
01:20 - Helen.
01:22 - Merry (beep) Christmas!
01:24 - All right.
01:25 - That's it, that's my favorite.
01:26 - Look at that little girl on the porch.
01:27 You see her, she's all like, "What's happening?"
01:29 - Are you in a blood feud with her, kid?
01:31 Did this woman rob you in a past life?
01:33 Because your timing, it wreaks a vengeance.
01:35 - There's gotta be somebody else.
01:37 That's the only thing that can explain something like that.
01:40 - Who is it?
01:41 - No, no, no, there's nobody else.
01:42 - Has he?
01:43 - What?
01:47 - Has he met someone else?
01:48 - What do you mean?
01:51 - Like, has somebody slept over here?
01:55 - What?
01:56 - Yeah.
01:59 - Occasionally, it's not like a constant thing.
02:04 It's just, you know, more of a rebound phase.
02:08 I shouldn't have said anything.
02:10 - It's fine.
02:14 I asked, so.
02:15 - I'm gonna turn around.
02:17 - No, just give me.
02:19 Well, have there been, like, repeats, or?
02:21 - What do you mean?
02:23 - Because a girl slept over more than once.
02:25 - Look, I'm not gonna help you hurt yourself here.
02:30 - The next audience seat goes to the person in seat 15M.
02:41 It's the award for the audience member most likely
02:43 to borrow her clothes from vintage dolls.
02:46 (upbeat music)
02:47 (audience laughing)
02:50 (audience applauding)
02:53 - I'm in love.
02:58 - I've been waiting outside for you, like, for 15 minutes.
03:02 - Yeah, I'm just settling up.
03:04 Thank you.
03:05 - You're just settling up?
03:06 That's a brand new beer.
03:07 - It won't take that long.
03:09 I don't see what the big problem is.
03:11 - Oh my God, I am so sick of you people
03:15 finishing your beer, finishing your conversation,
03:17 and leaving me outside.
03:18 All I do is wait for you.
03:20 - It's just gonna take a couple minutes.
03:22 Simmer down.
03:23 - Yeah, simmer down?
03:24 What is this simmer down?
03:25 - Are you doing my hand gestures?
03:27 Don't do my hand gestures.
03:27 - Wait, it's trademarked?
03:29 - I'll be down there in a second.
03:30 I didn't know you guys were so obsessed
03:31 with time all of a sudden.
03:33 - You guys?
03:33 - You guys usually like to park, like,
03:35 three blocks away from where I actually live.
03:38 - You can see where I actually am.
03:39 You can see where I am on the screen.
03:41 Yeah, it's right there.
03:41 It's right there.
03:42 - Really?
03:43 I see you up my ass right now.
03:45 Who are you?
03:47 - That one right there.
03:49 - How come you're not wearing a helmet?
03:52 Everybody else is wearing a helmet.
03:54 - That's 'cause they're knights.
03:56 I'm a dwarf.
03:57 - You're not a dwarf.
03:58 - Mom, I'm a dwarf.
03:59 - You are not a dwarf.
04:01 You just haven't had your growth spurt yet.
04:04 Many men take a long time to get taller.
04:08 - Okay, thanks, but can you leave?
04:10 (door creaking)
04:13 (door creaking)
04:15 (door creaking)
04:19 (slapping)
04:22 (groaning)
04:25 (footsteps)
04:28 (clattering)
04:31 (footsteps)
04:33 (clattering)
04:36 (footsteps)
04:38 (clattering)
04:41 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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