00:00 Right, next up, midfield maestro, arguably, arguably the most iconic Premier League mascot,
00:15 certainly one of the top three, I think it's fair to say. Fred the Red, Manchester United.
00:20 I think, you know, this fella, he is, he's like the Tiger Woods of mascottery, you know,
00:28 he's like the Mariah Carey of mascottery. He is just this looming, diva-ish, iconic
00:34 figure that it's really hard to look past. You know, I imagine quite a canny operator
00:41 as well, he's literally the devil. Famously, quite a canny operator is certain. So I think,
00:50 you know, when it comes down to it, what you're looking for is someone in the middle of the
00:54 park who can control things, who has more influence than Fred the Red. Again, he's the
00:58 devil. Someone who, you know, maybe has a handle on the dark arts, at the risk of repeating
01:03 myself Matt, he's the devil. I just think it's...
01:06 Hang on, I'm going to interrupt you here, because is he the devil or is he a devil?
01:11 Is he from some kind of world where there are multiple devils? Because he's, let's face
01:16 it, he's got this sort of cheeky, chappy smile thing going on. If I die and I wake up in
01:21 a fiery inferno of hell, and I see him standing over me, I'm going to assume my worst crime
01:26 was like stealing some sweets from a shop when I was a small child or something. It
01:31 doesn't look like he's tormenting like traitors or like murderers or anything, does it? He's
01:35 not... it's a bit too chirpy for that.
01:38 You know what they say though, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing
01:41 you that he's actually just a fluffy seven foot tall, anthropomorphic being. So, um,
01:47 I think we can get into semantics. He might not be the devil. I would still argue that
01:51 a devil is pretty bad. Um, and I, you know, it might not be the, the, the man himself,
01:58 but he's, you know, he's, he's certainly a demon of some sort. And I think on that basis
02:02 alone, um, and the fact that, like I said, he's just such an iconic operator, isn't he?
02:07 I think that for me, I'm going Fred the Red, um, but I'd be interested to see who you think
02:13 he could come up against. Well, largely for the sake of unneedlessly
02:19 setting up a Derby in these things to try and add some cross club tension, um, probably
02:24 unsuccessfully. I'm going to go with Moonchester. Um, now Moonchester is Manchester city's mascot.
02:30 He is, I assume he's not particularly clear. I think there's a female Moonchester that
02:35 goes with him. So I guess so, but he, they are an alien. Um, it's very unclear therefore
02:42 what their sort of their, their biology is, what their powers might be. Um, there's sort
02:47 of this weird children's TV show creation wandering around with one giant eye with one
02:53 weirdly square pupil. Um, yeah, I mean, look, I mean, we've got to be pretty speculative
02:59 in Manchester. We have years of theology and sort of, um, you know, Bible studies to determine
03:04 what the devil is capable of. We don't really know much about what an alien might be able
03:07 to do. He could be able to do absolutely anything. Um, he might have all sorts of weird powers.
03:12 He might be, you know, incredibly strong. He might have like, I don't know, laser hands
03:17 or something. I mean, it's who knows with anything's possible. And I, I just think,
03:22 um, look, Moonchester looks like he's got the sort of the form, the physical form, that
03:26 kind of quite that bit of bulk and heft, which says to me that it'd be pretty good at knocking
03:30 opposing, uh, you know, midfielders out of the way and getting on the ball. I will accept
03:34 that Fred the red, apart from being the devil or a devil does come on with a weapon. Um,
03:39 and I'm not sure I'm taking someone with a slightly big backside over someone wielding
03:44 a trident admittedly, but you know, I just don't think, you know, he might have a trident.
03:48 He might have the horns, he might have the little tail, but I just don't think Fred the
03:52 red Scott, that's sort of that bite in him. I don't think he could really use it. I think
03:55 he just sort of gently prod you with the trident rather than actually going at you. He just,
03:59 I don't see the malice. He's too cheeky.
04:01 I think the thing is Manchester, right? Two things. First of all, he could be an omnipotent
04:06 being or he could be a Howard the duck and just not really have anything going for him.
04:11 The other thing is that I'm going to use a sort of judo throw of logic against you. And
04:16 if we can't have captain blade on the basis that he's got one eye, we certainly can't
04:19 have a Cyclops alien. So it's kind of got to be Fred the red.
04:24 Yeah. I mean, we're in danger of inadvertently being slightly ableist against aliens and
04:29 pirates here, but yeah. All right. Fair enough. You can have Fred the red if only because
04:33 I have more things that I do or do just they can actually do.
04:36 [Music]
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