00:00 This is "We Need to Talk About America."
00:02 - The show where first generation comedians.
00:04 - Break down life in the USA.
00:06 - On today's show, we're talking about.
00:08 - Religion.
00:09 - Jesus.
00:10 - Christians.
00:11 - Buddhism.
00:12 - And all the religions.
00:12 - Put a beanie on this guy, he's my ex.
00:15 (laughing)
00:17 - In this day and age,
00:19 who has time to drive down to a church and confess?
00:22 Today we're here at the "We Need to Talk About America" set
00:25 and we're gonna go talk to some people behind the cameras
00:28 and see what kind of sins they're working with.
00:30 Follow me.
00:31 ♪ God knows you're right to get on the righteous road ♪
00:36 - Hello, is this a good time?
00:40 - I just went to confession on Saturday.
00:42 It's the weirdest.
00:43 - We got word that you left some things out.
00:45 This isn't private by the way, this is just me and you.
00:48 I can feel how uncomfortable you are
00:50 and I feel the same way.
00:51 - I'm very uncomfortable, I'm getting hot.
00:53 - You're getting hot, okay.
00:55 (upbeat music)
00:58 - I took on the responsibility of cooking the turkey
01:02 for Thanksgiving last year.
01:04 And as I'm walking to my fridge with this huge turkey,
01:08 the whole bag explodes and it falls on the floor.
01:12 That was the exact turkey I used for Thanksgiving.
01:15 - I'll tell you what the sin was,
01:17 committing to making the turkey.
01:19 That's a big responsibility, man.
01:20 (upbeat music)
01:23 - I do indeed purchase items
01:27 and I wear them and I return them for a full refund.
01:31 - And the goal here is to really save money.
01:33 - Yes.
01:34 - It sounds like you understand that Jesus saves
01:36 and for your penance, go buy two more things
01:39 and return them tomorrow.
01:40 - I can do that. - Up top.
01:42 (upbeat music)
01:44 - Sometimes I slightly suffocate my husband
01:47 when he's snoring so that he'll wake up.
01:49 He never knows, he never finds out.
01:51 - He never finds out.
01:52 No, he knows when his heart almost stops beating
01:55 'cause he has no oxygen supply.
01:57 - So you feel like you get away with it
01:58 but just know that God sees everything,
02:00 you're not really getting away with it.
02:02 - No, that's why I'm here.
02:03 (upbeat music)
02:05 (upbeat music)
02:08 (upbeat music)
02:12 (upbeat music)
02:14 (electronic beeping)
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