00:00 This is Bridges Riyadh Meditation Centre in Hull, where I came to after serving 9 months in prison for shoplifting.
00:05 I was homeless before that, I was a drug addict, and I actually arrived here late, I remember, because the train was delayed.
00:11 And when I got here, they couldn't believe that someone had come from prison to Riyadh without picking up a drink or drug.
00:16 They tested me and I was clean. I went inside and I asked, "Can I order a takeaway?"
00:20 I hadn't had takeaway food in years, and I ordered a kebab, and I remember sitting there wearing my prison t-shirt, eating it, thinking I can't believe it.
00:26 They allowed me to go upstairs and have a wash, and there was a bath. I hadn't had a bath in years either.
00:30 I put some bubble bath in the bath, and I slid into it. I looked up and I couldn't believe I actually made it.
00:34 I got up and I got dressed back into my clothes that were from Bint, which I got from the laundry in jail.
00:40 And that was over 4 years ago, and I can't believe I actually made it, because now I'm over 4 years clean.
00:45 I've got a beautiful girlfriend, a wonderful business, I help people for a living, all because I worked for myself.
00:50 And I took that choice to come to Riyadh and actually put it to work here.
00:54 This is where I was today, 6 o'clock in the morning, 4 years ago.
00:58 This is where I had my last drink. I sat here at 6 o'clock in the morning, I had nowhere else to go.
01:02 Just come back from my mum's house. Before that I was at a couple of house parties. I'd been awake for about 4 days.
01:07 I had nowhere else to go. I even attacked my own mum. She kicked me out. I wasn't staying there anyway.
01:11 I had nowhere to sleep. I was going to go up to Toxie Street and do some shoplifting to make some money, to carry on taking drugs.
01:18 But it was 6 o'clock in the morning, and I looked in absolute state. I looked like a drug addict.
01:22 And I thought maybe I'd go to the local shop, which is the petrol station around there in Kensington Rise.
01:26 Which didn't open until 9 o'clock, so I had 3 hours to wait.
01:28 Because I had too much pride to go sleep on the street, don't let anyone see me.
01:31 It's why I was hiding here on the canal, because no one could really see you.
01:34 And I was just sat there thinking, you know what, how's my life got here?
01:37 How about unless I'm fully accepted? You know what, I'm a full-blown drug addict.
01:40 It's time to change and I want it by the police.
01:42 So I walked back round to my mum's house where I knew the police were there waiting for me.
01:46 I surrendered, handed myself in.
01:48 And it was at that precise moment when I decided, you know what, to take some control and fight back for my life.
01:53 I ended up in rehab, after going to prison for 9 months.
01:57 I started the Toss It programme, and my life has just gone up and up and up and up and up.
02:01 I'm happy to say I'm out of the city today, 4 years clean.
02:03 I own business, help loads of people.
02:06 I'm just happy, finally happy again.
02:10 Westminster Magistrates Court, where they bring most criminals before they go into court.
02:15 Last time I was here, I went up in front of the judge and before the case proceeded, I asked my barrister,
02:21 could I talk openly to the court?
02:23 And I said to the judge, after he agreed, I'm standing there and my clothes are piss all over them, dirt, excreted all over them.
02:33 And I said, look, I've had enough.
02:35 Every crime I'm up against that I've been on the run for, I'm guilty of.
02:39 I was sick of running.
02:41 And if you give me bail today, which I usually try to do, I'll carry on taking drink, and I'll carry on taking drugs,
02:46 and I'll carry on committing crime, feed my habit.
02:48 I literally had enough.
02:50 I said, all the crime I'm up against, I'm guilty.
02:52 I said, rather than me going to jail and then looking for reports, and the usual random things,
02:56 I said, can you just send me today?
02:58 I'm desperate, desperate to go to rehab, please send me to rehab.
03:01 And the judge admired my honesty and he said, you've been in the system long enough to know that you have to be punished.
03:07 And if you're so adamant you're going to go to rehab, you can go to the end of your sentence.
03:11 And he gave me 18 months, I served 9 months, then I went to rehab.
03:16 I actually followed through with what I said, and it's been 4 years now and 1 month, and I'm still clean.
03:21 After that day that I gave up, I built my own business, got a whole new life, I helped people for a living,
03:26 and that was the last time I ever set foot in that courtroom, and I'll never be back there again.
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