00:00 I don't want to say it, but we're fucked.
00:02 You know what? I'm good.
00:03 'Cause it's not gonna happen for me.
00:05 If it's not happening here,
00:06 then it's definitely not happening at Emerson, okay?
00:09 I'm done trying to sow my damn oats.
00:11 No!
00:12 I'm packing up my vagina,
00:14 and I'm fucking Matthew.
00:15 That's the only hope for me.
00:17 No! He's man-to-man.
00:18 And 'cause he's gay and fearless,
00:20 he's probably gonna fuck me without protection.
00:21 Then I'm gonna get pregnant,
00:22 we're gonna have to join a church,
00:24 he'll be the gay pastor.
00:25 My whole life's fucked!
00:27 And yeah, sure, his sermons are good,
00:28 but everybody knows he's fruity.
00:30 Everybody knows he's fucking fruity!
00:33 By the way, our son Hezekiah hates us
00:35 'cause he knows we're both closeted,
00:37 and we try to make it work for him,
00:38 but he's not happy.
00:39 And yeah, guess what?
00:41 The deacon's fucking the evangelist, man!
00:43 He's fucking the evangelist!
00:46 I don't want to live like that.
00:49 Will you come and visit us on Sundays?
00:52 Please, will you come and visit us on Sundays?
00:56 [sobbing]
00:59 [whoosh]
01:00 [whoosh]
01:01 [silence]
01:04 [silence]
01:07 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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