00:00 Excuse me. Could the ugly, untalented gays
00:03 please report to the principal's office?
00:05 Guess that's you guys.
00:07 Hello, Principal Myers. First of all, I want to say,
00:09 -God bless-- -Shut up. You know why you're here.
00:11 I don't, actually.
00:12 For committing a crime against Jeff,
00:14 our quarterback and the most good-looking,
00:16 all-American, red-blooded, muscular man
00:18 this town has ever seen.
00:19 Sir, please look in the mirror.
00:21 -Shush! -Okay.
00:22 The homecoming game with Huntington
00:24 is nearly a month away.
00:26 Do you know how long we've been working toward this?
00:28 -Yes. -Yes. It's everywhere.
00:30 -20 years. -Couldn't be clearer.
00:31 -I think I can explain. -I can explain.
00:33 Jeff is psychotic, and he tried to murder us.
00:35 Ha! Sure. You're all victims,
00:38 and girls are always right, right?
00:39 Yeah, actually.
00:40 How come you can't buck up
00:43 and learn to protect yourselves
00:44 without running somebody over?
00:45 Maybe it's because we're small, and he's giant,
00:49 so we needed to use a little machinery.
00:51 Did you ever think of that, sir?
00:53 -Can we just explain ourselves? -Maybe I should buy a gun.
00:55 Okay, what? Don't buy a gun.
00:57 Nobody said buy a gun. Can we just calm down, everybody?
00:59 -Zipper. You know what? -What?
01:02 I'm gonna expel you both.
01:03 -No! No! No! -Yes. Yes.
01:05 You have to understand that this was a misunderstanding.
01:09 -Really? -We were just practicing...
01:14 for...
01:15 âȘâȘ
01:20 for our self-defense club.
01:23 Self-defense? What is that?
01:25 -Uh... -I'd say it's like a fight club.
01:28 -Well, here's the thing. -Yes! Yes!
01:30 -Yes! -Uh, yes.
01:32 A fight club, where we...
01:34 beat each other up and...
01:36 -No, we don't. -Yes.
01:37 No, we don't. Shut up.
01:38 Okay, you know what? I don't care.
01:39 -I don't care. -You're over it. Okay.
01:41 Yeah, you can beat the shit out of each other
01:43 while you perform the vagina monologues.
01:45 Just stay in your lane
01:46 until you're munching Beaverett Wesleyan.
01:48 Yes, sir.
01:49 [ Click ]
01:50 [ Silence ]
01:55 [ Silence ]
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