00:00 Let's cut to the chase.
00:01 Does flirting actually work?
00:03 Psychologists would say very much so.
00:05 In fact, according to an article by self-help blogger
00:08 and psychology writer, Eric Barker,
00:11 research has proven that flirting
00:13 and signaling your availability to someone
00:15 is a better predictor of romantic interest
00:17 than attractiveness.
00:19 Generally characterized by specific gestures,
00:21 body language, and direct or indirect social cues,
00:25 sex educator and relationship coach, Kelly Gonsalves,
00:28 defines flirting as any method you use
00:31 to signal to someone that you find them interesting
00:33 and want to engage with them further.
00:36 Usually a fun and lighthearted activity
00:37 between two people who find each other attractive
00:40 and flirting should feel good for both parties involved
00:43 and spark feelings of curiosity and excitement.
00:45 With that said, if you want to let someone know
00:48 you're interested in them,
00:49 but your fear of rejection is stopping you
00:51 from saying it outright, don't worry.
00:53 Here are seven subtle and psychology-backed ways to flirt.
00:57 Number one, flirtatious facial expressions.
01:01 Because it's often more socially acceptable
01:02 for men to make the first move,
01:04 women tend to flirt mainly through facial expressions
01:07 and other nonverbal cues.
01:09 Psychologist, Jeremy Nicholson,
01:11 states that some of the most common examples of these
01:14 include turning your head to one side,
01:16 tilting your chin down slightly,
01:18 tossing your hair over your shoulder,
01:20 and biting your lip while smiling.
01:22 As for men, number two, smile slowly.
01:28 While it's not unheard of for men to follow
01:30 a few of the same flirty facial expressions as women,
01:32 according to psychologist and professor
01:34 at California State University, Dr. Pamela Reagan,
01:37 smiling is the single most effective
01:40 and most universal method to convey romantic interest.
01:43 To be more specific, when a man smiles slowly at a woman,
01:48 it's less likely to be mistaken
01:50 as just a casual smile of friendliness.
01:53 Number three, brief glances.
01:56 Similar to the last point,
01:57 glancing briefly at someone only to look away
02:00 is another subtle but well-known flirting technique
02:03 often done by both genders.
02:05 In Dr. Pamela Reagan's book, "Close Relationships,"
02:08 she writes that doing so indicates preferential attention
02:11 and is a clear sign of positive romantic intentions.
02:14 So if you wanna flirt with someone but fear rejection,
02:17 just steal a few glances at them
02:19 from time to time until they notice.
02:22 Number four, feather-light touch.
02:26 Still, self-help expert, Eric Barker,
02:29 insists that the flirting technique
02:31 that works better than anything else is a simple touch.
02:35 But don't worry, you don't have to invade
02:37 someone's personal space
02:38 and worry about making them uncomfortable with your touch
02:40 just to let them know you're interested.
02:43 There are some ways of flirting through subtle touch,
02:45 such as a light brush against their shoulder or forearm,
02:49 a lingering hand on their waist,
02:50 or casually touching their hair.
02:53 Number five, mind your appearance.
02:56 Another great but subtle way of flirting with someone
02:58 is to be more mindful of your appearance
03:00 when you're around them.
03:01 And no, that doesn't mean always checking the mirror
03:03 while they're talking to you,
03:04 because that may make you seem vain and uninterested.
03:09 But simply making a bit of extra effort
03:11 to look nice for them and yourself,
03:14 think a fine hairstyle or some nice new clothes.
03:18 Psychologist, Jeremy Nicholson, categorizes this
03:20 as a physical way of flirting,
03:22 along with practicing attractive body language
03:24 and using touch to build attraction,
03:26 like what we talked about earlier.
03:28 Number six, tickle their funny bone.
03:31 Speaking of the different flirting styles,
03:32 another one is the playful flirting style,
03:35 wherein the goal is more about having fun
03:37 than trying to start a relationship.
03:39 In an article from "Psychology Today,"
03:41 Dr. Nicholson stated that playful flirts
03:43 know how to keep people interested
03:45 by showing off their fun-spirited personality
03:47 and great sense of humor.
03:49 So if all else fails, you can always try your luck
03:52 tickling the other person's funny bone.
03:54 Always try to make them laugh
03:55 and finding ways to have fun with them,
03:57 to let them know your true feelings.
03:59 Number seven, be more yourself.
04:02 Finally, but perhaps most importantly,
04:05 as cliche as it sounds,
04:06 being your authentic self with someone you like
04:09 is a great way to flirt with them.
04:11 Why?
04:11 Well, according to dating coach, Clara Artswager,
04:15 thinking, "Okay, how do I flirt better?"
04:17 I think this is the very thing that kills our ability
04:20 to have that kind of interaction.
04:22 Instead, she suggests that we approach flirting
04:25 by being more ourselves and feeling more at ease
04:27 with ourselves around the person we like.
04:30 And with this, we'll come to a winning sense of confidence
04:33 that can draw people in
04:34 and make them more interested in you.
04:36 In summary, successful flirting starts
04:38 with a friendly and inviting approach,
04:40 engaging conversations, social interactions,
04:43 and a mutual physical and emotional attraction
04:45 towards one another.
04:47 Still, psychologists and relationship experts
04:49 such as Artswager do maintain
04:51 that because flirting is so personal,
04:53 there is no single foolproof way
04:55 that will work for everybody on everybody.
04:58 So aside from following these empirically-based tips,
05:00 it's also important that you work on being more at ease
05:03 with yourself and around the person you like.
05:06 Have fun when you flirt.
05:07 Try to make some sparks fly
05:08 and see where it goes from there.
05:10 Be sure to let us know some of your own personal ways
05:13 to subtly flirt in the comments down below.
Comments