00:00 I'm Farrah and I have alopecia.
00:02 I lost all my hair at 15.
00:03 I felt ugly, like I just was a young girl
00:06 and I wanted to feel pretty.
00:07 Alopecia ruined my confidence.
00:09 I only ever took my wig off to wash it.
00:12 I couldn't look at myself.
00:13 I'd lock myself in the bathroom, cover the mirrors.
00:15 I decided to dedicate my final project at university
00:19 to speaking about my alopecia for the first time.
00:22 And I remember being like to my tutor like,
00:24 "Oh, I need to find a bald model now."
00:26 And she was just like, "Farrah, what are you talking about?"
00:29 I voided my reflection for 10 years, but now I'm proud of it.
00:31 My name is Farrah and I'm 29 years old.
00:36 I do a few things, but I'm mainly a jeweler.
00:39 My main hobby is painting.
00:41 I do commissions, so if someone has an idea for a painting,
00:44 they can come to me and the same with the jewelry.
00:47 I was diagnosed with alopecia areata when I was eight years old.
00:51 Alopecia is an autoimmune disease
00:54 and it just means my immune system attacks the hair follicles,
00:56 which causes hair loss.
00:58 I lost all my hair at 15.
00:59 I started losing my hair when I was about eight years old.
01:03 I don't really remember much.
01:04 I think it was at the back.
01:06 It was only a small amount.
01:07 I only really started to notice and become upset by it
01:12 once I went to secondary school, once the bullying started.
01:15 It was a lot more visible as well.
01:16 So I remember I had two patches the size of my hand,
01:20 either side of my head, and I used to wear a headband.
01:22 My hair loss got worse.
01:24 Headbands weren't working, so then I went to extensions,
01:28 clinging on to the bits of hair I had.
01:30 That didn't last long.
01:32 As my hair loss got worse, it was really scary.
01:36 It was just a constant thing to, like,
01:39 figure out how I was going to cover it and hide it.
01:42 And then at 15, I got my first wig.
01:46 Alopecia ruined my confidence.
01:48 I was a very insecure kid.
01:52 People were, like, scared to be seen talking to me
01:56 because they'd, like, get bullied as well.
01:58 A lot of it was, "Baldie, you're never going to get a boyfriend.
02:02 You're so ugly."
02:03 I'd lock myself in the bathroom, cover the mirrors.
02:07 I couldn't look at myself.
02:08 I've always been into art.
02:11 I didn't know what kind of career I could go down doing that,
02:15 and I kind of wanted to explore the options.
02:18 So Central Saint Martins is where I went,
02:20 and they do, like, a year course where you do everything.
02:24 One week, we did jewellery, and I just fell in love.
02:29 I decided to dedicate my final project at university
02:34 to speaking about my alopecia for the first time
02:36 because I was just done with hiding it.
02:40 I made a collection, and each piece represented
02:43 a physical and emotional stage I went through losing my hair.
02:46 This piece, I randomly had a patch of regrowth,
02:51 and it grew probably, like, that much,
02:53 and it was, like, soft and black, and it was, like, curly,
02:57 and I was just like, "Oh, my God, what is this?
02:59 Is my hair growing back?"
03:00 Because alopecia is so unpredictable.
03:02 It could just start growing back.
03:04 Like, I could wake up tomorrow, and I could have regrowth,
03:07 but it only stayed in this tiny little spot.
03:11 I tied it up in a hairband, cut it off,
03:14 and put it in my jewellery box.
03:16 I think just subconsciously, it meant so much to me,
03:19 but it was also, like, a really cruel experience
03:22 because once I shaved it off, it actually didn't grow back.
03:24 This one was kind of tracing the outline
03:27 of where my hairline would have been.
03:28 These pieces I made out of copper wire,
03:31 and I was looking at Victorian jewellery
03:33 and how they used locks of hair
03:35 from loved ones that had passed away,
03:37 so I got copper wire and spray-painted them black,
03:40 and, yeah, these were the stages of, kind of,
03:43 grief I felt losing my hair.
03:45 It was hard, like, having to relive so much.
03:48 I made the collection.
03:49 I still wasn't going out in public without my wig on,
03:51 and then it came to the exhibition,
03:52 and I remember being, like, to my tutor, like,
03:54 "Oh, I need to find a bald model now,"
03:57 and she was just like, "Farah, what are you talking about?
03:59 You need to do it."
04:00 I was just like, "No way."
04:02 It didn't even cross my mind that I was gonna
04:05 let someone take pictures of me without my wig on.
04:08 It feels extremely vulnerable when you let people
04:11 see you without your wig on.
04:12 I ended up doing it, and that was the first time
04:16 I'd let the world see me basically without my wig on.
04:19 So I stood there with my wig, with my work,
04:21 and then the photos printed out,
04:23 and it was funny 'cause even people on my course
04:25 that I'd been studying with for, like, four years,
04:28 they were like, "Oh, who did you get to model?"
04:29 And I was like, "It's me."
04:31 Over lockdown, I started wearing, like, hats inside,
04:36 and I realised I physically felt more comfortable
04:38 when I wasn't wearing my wig
04:40 'cause I used to sleep with my wig on.
04:41 Like, I never, ever took my wig off.
04:43 I feel so weird seeing myself with a wig on now
04:46 'cause it's been so long since I haven't worn one.
04:48 Like, I'm more used to seeing myself bald
04:50 than I am with a wig on.
04:53 I just needed to learn to be comfortable
04:57 with other people's reactions.
04:59 I think it's only been, like, two years
05:01 since I've actually stopped wearing my wig,
05:03 but I like to think that I'm doing something
05:07 to normalise bald women.
05:08 Over the years, my eyebrows have fallen out,
05:11 and I've tried, like, tattooing, makeup, and all that,
05:14 but I was just never happy with the results.
05:17 And then these eyebrow transfers have just changed my life.
05:21 Since I've stopped wearing my wig,
05:22 my eyebrows and my jewellery have given me that confidence
05:25 to go out without my wig on.
05:26 These were just a great alternative
05:29 'cause they last a few days, they're waterproof.
05:32 I feel more comfortable
05:34 when I have my eyebrow transfers on.
05:35 I made my Instagram, and I started sharing my work.
05:40 It was really cool hearing that my work was resonating
05:44 with other people as well,
05:45 like, educating people on hair loss, basically.
05:48 It sounds really cliche, but I do try and, like,
05:51 be the person I needed to see growing up
05:55 'cause I didn't see anyone else that looked like me.
05:57 I started connecting with other people with alopecia,
05:59 and it all kind of really changed in my mind
06:02 'cause I was making friends with all these bald women,
06:05 and I was, like, hand on heart,
06:07 feeling like they were beautiful.
06:10 One of my best friends who has alopecia as well
06:13 is coming over.
06:15 How did you meet?
06:16 Instagram.
06:16 Instagram, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:18 It was like a support thing.
06:20 Bonded through that.
06:20 I was saying earlier, it's definitely been
06:22 one of the best things that's come out
06:24 of having alopecia,
06:25 being able to connect with other people that have it too.
06:28 And I was saying that it's, like,
06:29 it's weird, it's like an instant connection
06:33 'cause it's like, you both just get it.
06:35 Yeah, you know exactly how I feel when I discuss,
06:37 like, when I say something, it's like, yeah.
06:40 Totally get it.
06:40 Yeah, yeah.
06:41 I know exactly what's going on.
06:43 It sucks, but it also, it's like, it's a bonding moment.
06:46 I didn't even know there were other people like me out there
06:50 that were dealing with the exact same thing
06:52 to now be friends with someone for this many, like, years,
06:56 and they just totally get me.
06:59 It's like, it's such a beautiful thing.
07:00 You'll understand how I feel, you know,
07:03 whereas if I spoke to this about, you know,
07:05 something alopecia related to, like, my sister
07:07 or another friend,
07:08 they might not get it as well.
07:10 But there are so many misconceptions.
07:12 It's like, you know, are you sick?
07:14 Did you do this to yourself?
07:16 Yeah, I've got that recently.
07:17 People have been like, um,
07:19 how do you shave your head so well?
07:20 And I'm like, you can tell.
07:22 Surely, 'cause you'd have, like, a shadow.
07:26 No, it's a filter.
07:27 I'd have a shadow.
07:27 It's hilarious.
07:31 It's hilarious.
07:32 Chance to go for a walk on the beach?
07:34 Let's do it, guys.
07:34 When people ask me what advice I would give
07:38 to someone else struggling with their alopecia,
07:40 my main thing is always to reach out
07:42 and connect with other people that have it
07:44 because that was a game changer for me.
07:46 Someone said to me once,
07:47 "If everyone in the world looked the same,
07:49 it would be such a boring place."
07:51 Like, it's so beautiful
07:54 that everyone is so unique and different.
07:56 Like, what makes you unique and different
07:59 is such a special and beautiful thing.
08:01 It's cool being different.
08:02 Who wants to look the same as everyone else?
08:04 (laughs)
08:05 (silence)
08:07 (silence)
08:09 (silence)
08:11 (silence)
08:13 (silence)
08:15 (silence)
08:17 (silence)
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