The Saga of Perry Grin (Spoken Poem with Music)

Partial Lyrics:

The Saga of Perry Grin

Well I don’t really know how to begin
But I’ve got to tell you about a man named Perry Grin
One day there was a fight and he got real mad
And when it was all over, he’d killed his dad
“Oh no,” he thought, I really didn’t mean to
But if I get caught with the weapon I’ll rue
The day I was born because prison is tough
And right now I don’t have the time to get buff

What was that argument over anyway
And well time to hide under the archway
And find a place that will take me in no matter where I’ve been
So he opened up his map and his bottle of gin
His fingers and eyes searched for an absolute gem
And he said “I’ve got it, I’ll head off to Bethlehem
I read about it in a book somewhere that made it sound nice
The only downside is that to get there I’ll have to sell all my dice"

When the ship made its departure and started to dock
Perry Gin fell off and was greeted by a man in a frock
There sure are around here a whole lot of preachers
Maybe they’ll turn out for me to be good teachers
He began to learn all the tricks of the trade
And rules of the road and the way of the blade
One of the monks asked him if he had a Lord and Savior
“No,” "Well that explains all your misbehavior"

"What have I done that wasn’t in line?"
"Well for one you’ve stole all the church’s wine"
"That’s no big deal," said Perry Grin in a voice so shrill
That the monk could no longer write with his quill
The monk said, "Let me tell you about a man who forgot to cut his hair
He turned over tables and did what others wouldn’t dare
So the authorities said, "hey I found a very nice tree,"
And they stuck him up there without even a plea"

"Look," Perry Grin said, “You’ve got me persuaded
If you’ll stop talking soon I won’t feel so invaded."
"So it’s a deal then," said the hungry priest that skipped lunch
"That you would be convinced by this I’d had a hunch"
So Perry Grin did the normal thing and was submerged
In order to quell the feeling that he’d been urged
There’s something about people when they turn like this
They trade this world for some imaginary bliss

So Perry Grin wore his collar pretty well
In the monk’s house he’d started to dwell
Telling the people the good news is all he’d do
At first he avoided judgment like it was a taboo
Then he decided he needed to turn up the heat a bit
All the sinners around him would yell, "hey man just quit"
He’d reply, "You’ll be sorry when the stars fall from the sky,"
Though others thought this sounded like a moon made of pie

One of them finally said, "Hey didn’t he kill a guy?"
And Perry Grin realized he’d be left out to dry
The security guard came by and said, "let me see your hands,"
And he drilled holes in them like the best laid plans
Poor Perry Grin was thrown directly in the clink
It wasn’t all bad though, they even brought him a shrink
The cigar puffing guy asked him what the hell’s going on
While the diagnosis was being given Perry Grin let out a big yawn