Welcome to the world of the Insiders. Picture yourself at the age of 35 ­grey and fat, sat in your ice cream van, parked next to a deserted playing field in the pouring rain. Global warming turned out to be a load of rubbish. Thanks a lot, Coldplay. Since you left school the weather has just got wetter and chillier and the Solero market has completely prolapsed.

Don¹t let that be your future. Do something worthwhile ­ teacher, police officer, nurse. Or do something of no real value that will win you of millions of fans, like being an actor, a rocker or minor member of the Royal family. But how do you know which job is for you?

Blurring the boundaries between fact and fiction, The Insiders brings you an upfront, funny and honest account of the world of work.

It's careers advice with a Flake stuck in the top.

Here, our policeman Insider gives you the information that your careers teacher won't!

Find out more about the policeman Insider at his MySpace profile: http://www.myspace.com/cuffsandcollars