- 11 years ago
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Short filmTranscript
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08:08Excuse me, what does that mean?
08:10Oh, that? Oh, that's the Teaching and Welfare Institution for the Reformation of Pagans.
08:14I see. A new order, isn't it?
08:16Oh, certainly not, no, no. It's a very, very old society.
08:18Why, we've got members all over the world.
08:20Of course, the majority of them are only honorary members.
08:22Oh, I say, this case goes with my luggage.
08:24But, um, I'm a life member, yes. I'm a proper twerp.
08:28Well, good day.
08:29Good day.
08:38Move.
08:46Get out of the way.
08:49Sit.
08:50Nope, out.
08:52Please, sit. Out.
08:53Out.
09:06Well, so long, Hamilton.
09:09Goodbye, sir. Give my regards to Piccadilly.
09:15Nope, out.
09:17Rail ranks, one face, step forward, march.
09:21Forward.
09:24Left turn.
09:25Right face, quick march.
09:41Oh, I was just admiring your soldiers. How do you do?
09:43How do you do? Professor Stivitz?
09:45Yes, that's right. Mr. Saunders?
09:46No, Commissioner Saunders has gone on leave. I'm Hamilton.
09:48If you'll come along with me, I'll show you to her quarters.
09:50Oh, thanks.
09:51Oh, I'd better ship out my luggage first.
09:53Oh, don't bother about that. I'll send the boy down.
09:54Oh, thank you.
09:58Hey, Iwane.
10:00I'm doing a hotly-hick look to Follywood.
10:03There's only one more package. If you get into the canoe, I'll see to it.
10:06My brother, I will keep for you the place of honour in my right hand.
10:09Huh? Oh, yes, yes.
10:16What exactly are your plans now that you're here, Professor?
10:19Well, I've got a policy to open as many native schools as I think fit.
10:22I shall start off with a few council schools, and then later on I may open a university.
10:26Why not two universities?
10:28Yes, that's a good idea. Then we could have a boat race.
10:31Do you think that natives want to be taught?
10:33Oh, they may not want it at first, but when I get going, they'll come flocking in.
10:36Yes, as long as you don't get chopped before you've done it.
10:39Chopped? What do you mean, killed?
10:41Yes, they've been known to do it.
10:43Oh, well, that shows they need education, doesn't it?
10:46No civilised child ever thinks of chopping his schoolmaster.
10:48Yes, but these children aren't civilised.
10:50No, well, that's my idea in coming out here, to civilise them.
10:53Oh, splendid.
10:54Yes, I've brought all the necessary equipment. Slates, pencils and things.
10:58And where do you intend to start this great project?
11:01Well, what part of the world is that?
11:05That is Africa.
11:07Oh, is it? I always get it mixed up with India.
11:10Oh, is it? I always get it mixed up with India.
11:12It's silly to have them the same shape, isn't it?
11:14Let me see now, where are we?
11:15Well, if you'll come over here, I think this will give you a better idea what it's all about.
11:20There are four principal tribes in this area.
11:22This is the Bomongo country.
11:24The Akosava are here, the Isisi and the Okori.
11:28Nice. Well, it looks like I'll have to make myself a schedule, won't it?
11:31So I can hold classes in the Isisi in the morning,
11:34and do the Akosava in the afternoon, and make the Okori a night school.
11:38Do you realise this is a very large country?
11:40Oh, well, I could hire a bicycle.
11:42Well, this covers an area of 1500 miles.
11:45Oh, well, of course, in that case I should need a car.
11:48Well, that would be fine if we had roads.
11:50Oh, yes, it does look a bit bumpy, doesn't it?
11:53Yes, well, what about this? There's a nice flat piece.
11:55Perhaps I could open a central school there.
11:57Where?
11:58Here, where I've got my finger.
11:59You've got your finger in the middle of Lake Taniki?
12:01Yes.
12:03Of course, the water's green, isn't it? Yes.
12:05Yes, well, looks like my best plan is to open a central school here,
12:08and advertise in the local papers.
12:10Local papers?
12:12The only way news gets around here is by locale drum.
12:15An empty tree trunk they wallop with sticks.
12:17Well, you might ask them to wallop out a message
12:19that school will start next Monday at nine o'clock, would you please?
12:21Oh, I don't know about that, but I'll have it put in part two orders for you.
12:25Ahmed!
12:27Yes, sir?
12:28Ahmed, on Monday next, the garrison children will parade at 9am for school.
12:31See to it.
12:32Very well, sir.
12:36Come in, all of you. Come in and sit down.
12:38That's right.
12:39But, you see, sit any way you like. It's all right.
12:41You two can sit together if you want to.
12:43Well, I'm very, very glad to see such a nice attendance on our first day.
12:46It shows that my efforts are going to be, uh, appreciated.
12:49I'm very, very gratified. Very gratified indeed.
12:52Yes.
12:53Well, we're all going to enjoy some nice lessons now.
12:58Huh?
12:59Hey, come out at once. Come out here.
13:07Look.
13:09This is the way. That should be walk.
13:11All right.
13:19Oh, hello.
13:20Hello.
13:21Hello.
13:22Hello.
13:23Hello.
13:24Hello.
13:25Hello.
13:26Hello.
13:27Hello.
13:29Well, what's the matter with you?
13:47Now, we'll start with the alphabet.
13:49Now, the first letter of the alphabet is A.
13:53Uh, you.
13:54Now, what is the first letter of the alphabet?
13:56What is the alphabet?
13:57Well, uh, well, the alphabet is just, um, well, it's a row of letters, you see.
14:02It's a thing that A is the first letter of.
14:04It's a word, really. I'll write it down for you.
14:07A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
14:12There we are.
14:13Now, the first letter of the alphabet is A.
14:16Have you got that?
14:17Yes.
14:18Good.
14:19Now, the second letter of the alphabet is B.
14:22Serves you jolly well right.
14:24Let that be a lesson to you.
14:25Oh, oh, oh, good morning.
14:27Uh, haven't you better come round the side?
14:29You'll be able to see better.
14:30Hey!
14:33And don't want any more injustice from you, either, because if I do have any, I'll.
14:40Oh, very funny.
14:41Very funny.
14:42I suppose you're laughing at me, are you?
14:44Well, let me tell you, if I come out there, you're all going to laugh at the other side of your face.
14:47Oh, well, uh, I'll tell you some other time.
14:49Would you like to come inside?
14:56Well, uh, we'll take numerals.
14:58Can anybody tell me how many fingers I have in both my hands?
15:01Polowanga.
15:02No, no, I said on both hands.
15:04Polowanga.
15:05No, well, all right, then.
15:06How many have I got on one hand?
15:07Polowanga.
15:08Polowanga.
15:12Polowanga.
15:13Polowanga.
15:14Polowanga.
15:21Oh, all right, don't be long.
15:28Now, as I was saying, we'll take, uh, we'll take numerals.
15:32One, two, three, four.
15:35Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
15:38So you know the numerals, eh?
15:39Yes.
15:40Well, uh, where did you learn them?
15:42Machinery shops.
15:43Machinery, eh?
15:44Well, how far did he take you?
15:45Compound multiplication.
15:47What?
15:48Compound multiplication.
15:49Compound multiplication?
15:51Oh, did he?
15:52Oh, well, I think that's far enough for one term.
15:54Uh, we'll take geography.
15:56Now, uh, the shape of the world is...
15:59Round!
16:00I know, I know.
16:01I'm teaching you.
16:02You're not teaching me.
16:03Uh, you keep quiet.
16:04Now, see, the shape of the world is round.
16:07And it revolves on its axis, which is, uh, kept at the North Pole, there.
16:12Now, these are the parallels of latitude, which go this way.
16:17And these are the, the, uh, the, uh, the lines of, uh, uh, well, those are the ones that go the other way.
16:25Now, we will concentrate on, uh, this hemisphere.
16:32Hey, what do you think you're playing at?
16:33Dartboard.
16:34Well, I say this is not a dartboard.
16:36It's a geography lesson.
16:37Sit down.
16:38How dare you?
16:39This is the world.
16:40And these are the, uh, the parallels of latitude, which go this way.
16:43And, uh, the other lines are the, uh, the, the...
16:46Well, in any case, you can't start till you get a double.
16:51Yes, well, uh, that leaves you 2.99 for the day.
16:57So that's why my house-hours were late on parade.
17:00Yes, Lord.
17:01But these things have been known for years.
17:03Why do you fear them now?
17:04Lord, we fear them not because we knew them not.
17:07Oh, I'm sorry.
17:08I thought you were alone.
17:09Oh, that's quite all right, Professor.
17:10Do come in.
17:11I, I want to talk to you.
17:12Come and sit down.
17:13Dismiss these things from your mind, and Lord Tiberius will teach your children other things.
17:17All right, Sergeant.
17:21Anything wrong?
17:22No, no.
17:23Nothing serious.
17:24But I, I wish in future that when you're teaching the native children that you'd, you'd leave out references to the sun, the moon, and the stars.
17:31What?
17:32No astronomy?
17:33Yes, well, I'd have to take you too literally.
17:34You know, you told them the Earth revolves from west to east.
17:36Well, so it does.
17:37Yes, I know.
17:38But, but look at the result.
17:40This morning, my hussars stopped in their barracks waiting for the parade ground to come round to them.
17:46That's ridiculous, isn't it?
17:48Why, their barracks are in the west.
17:50Yes, well, remember what you teach the kids.
17:52Yes.
17:53What about you?
17:54I think I'm in for a dose of fever.
17:56Can I get you an aspirin?
17:57No, I think I'll go to bed for a couple of days and let it take its course.
18:00Yes, I should.
18:01Don't you worry.
18:02Everything will be all right.
18:03I'll take over your duties.
18:04Oh, no, no.
18:05I'll do my duties alone.
18:06And remember, in the future, no astronomy.
18:13Good heavens.
18:16Hey!
18:17Uh, sergeant, colonel, somebody!
18:19Come here, quick, come here!
18:20Captain Hamilton's fainted!
18:21Do something, get somebody quick!
18:22Get the district nurse!
18:24What is this?
18:25Oh, why, he's fainted, can't you see?
18:26Cerebral coma caused by climatic influence.
18:29What?
18:30Oh, is that what it is?
18:31I've got company.
18:32Oh, well, you'd better do something else.
18:34Hey!
18:35Get in the doctor!
18:36There is no doctor, no.
18:38But patients susceptible to treatment.
18:41Previous experience stimulates confidence.
18:43Oh, I see, you mean he's had it before.
18:45Yes, Lord.
18:46All white men get it frequently.
18:48Oh, really?
18:49Eh?
18:50Down!
18:54Lord, circumstance is unfortunate.
18:58Circumstance?
18:59What are you talking about?
19:00Sandia, Wade, and Melantina have an indisposition.
19:03We are a sheep with no shepherd.
19:05But he'll get better, won't he?
19:06Yes, Lord, but no convalescence may be expected until tomorrow,
19:09and tomorrow, and tomorrow.
19:11Did you leave any instruction?
19:12Uh, yes, yes, he told me to carry on.
19:16You, Lord?
19:17Yes, well, I don't suppose there's much to do.
19:19You look after the soldiers, and I'll be here when I'm wanted.
19:22But, Lord, inexperience prohibits knowledge of routine.
19:25Oh, no, no, I'll soon pick it up.
19:26Besides, there are plenty of rubber stamps here.
19:28But, Lord...
19:29Well, don't make any arguments.
19:30Now, you go and tell all your sheep that I'm the, uh, I'm the new shepherd.
19:33Yes, Lord.
19:36And, uh, in future, I shall inspect the troops.
19:39Yes, Lord.
19:42And don't let me catch any of them laughing!
19:59Abibu!
20:20Abibu!
20:25Yes, Lord?
20:26Oh, uh, Abibu, there's a note here in Commissioner Sander's diary
20:29about some, uh, some taxes that have got to be collected.
20:31Has that been done?
20:32No, Lord.
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