00:00We all saw it sprawled across the blackboard the second we stepped into Miss Lovecraft's
00:18class.
00:21Its wingspan reached from one end of the room to the other, hovering above our heads as
00:28if it were about to pounce.
00:32Its chalk-scrawled claws looking ready to grab up an unsuspecting student and fly away.
00:41What is that ungodly thing, my best friend Jimmy Pickman asked.
00:48It looks like an octopus, I replied.
00:53Miss Lovecraft had scribbled its name over its dome-shaped head, beckoning the class
01:00to chant this creature's nauseating nomenclature.
01:05Repeat after me, children.
01:09This is the vagina.
01:14I shuddered at the sound its name made within my mouth, whispering it with the rest of the
01:22students.
01:23Its wings seep out from over my tongue, the syllables all soft and moist, as if it had
01:29just drudged itself up from some sordid portion of my stomach, buried for centuries under
01:36the muck of my nails, rising up towards my teeth on a tide of bile.
01:45Now, class, all girls are born with a vagina.
01:51The vagina is hollowed with uterus, shown here, which is where the fertilized ogum develops
01:56into a fetus.
02:00Suddenly it struck me, the more we all called out its name, repeating our teacher's incantation
02:08for this feminine effigy, the more I noticed how all the girls in the class had begun to
02:14shift within their seats.
02:17Queen Dunwich popped her habba-baba right into my ear, the air hissing out from that
02:24gummy bubble like a dying man's final exhale.
02:30She had been voraciously taking notes, recording every pagan name her high priestess called
02:37out.
02:38I peered underneath her desk, only to discover her legs spread wide open, fanning her knees
02:46back and forth.
02:48Something had awoken within her.
02:51Something was lurking under the murk of her skirt, veiled behind the pleats of her school
02:59uniform.
03:01This wasn't sex ed, no.
03:03We were taking part in something much darker than our normal curriculum.
03:09This was a ritual, an invocation of evil.
03:16Looking back at the blackboard, that powdery rendition seemed to come alive, its fallopian
03:22tubes undulating across the wall like tentacles reaching out for me.
03:29There was something so hypnotic to its flickering, those ovaries pulsing in a brilliant pink
03:37and green.
03:39Eyes raced around the room, the sudden shock of realization dawning on me.
03:45This quivering deity that Miss Lovecraft had mapped out on the chalkboard was within women.
03:53Women everywhere.
03:56These ancient beings had been amongst us boys all along, hidden within the depths of our
04:02female classmates.
04:06Now class, let's move on to the male sexual organs.
04:16Bear in mind that I had not known such a thing existed within me.
04:21To say that a mental shock was the cause of it I inferred.
04:25That last straw of sanity snapping as Miss Lovecraft took her chalk and etched a most
04:33heinous hieroglyphic across the blackboard is to ignore the simplest bit of my experience.
04:42Maybe a madhouse would be as good of any a place to save me now.
04:47Oh doctor, could erase this profane image from my brain forever.
04:52For I found myself staring at none other than him who is not to be named.
05:00The mighty one-eyed messenger.
05:03The goat with a thousand young.
05:06Stop snickering children.
05:09I'll send you all to the office if you can't act like mature adults.
05:14Now, repeat after me.
05:19This is the penis.
05:24You must believe me Principal Peters.
05:29I have certain evidence that monstrous things do indeed live within the dark corners of man
05:35that have yet to be explored by my hands.
05:38Throbbing, pulsating creatures that inhabit a space unfamiliar to this particular seventh grader.
05:47And as God is my witness, how I wish to resist this transformation.
05:56I was the caterpillar combating its own cocoon.
06:00Looking around the room, I realized I was not alone in this chrysalis state.
06:06The rest of the class was undergoing the same change.
06:10The look of utter horror frozen on everyone's face.
06:16Looking under the eyes of Larissa Innsmouth, I was suddenly aware of the disconnected sounds inside my mind.
06:26The creature hidden within her was attempting to communicate with me.
06:31Its sole mode of speech were a series of thought waves transmitted through its clitoral antenna.
06:39Even now, these beasts talk within their tombs.
06:44Sending their telepathy out from beyond the cotton lining of all the girls' underwear.
06:53The panic was suddenly lessening within me.
06:58I was beginning to feel queerly drawn towards the unknown sea depths of my female classmates.
07:07I suddenly felt the compulsion to swim towards that brooding reef of newly grown pubic hair.
07:17Diving into that black abyss forever!
07:30Miss Lovecraft was responsible for introducing us boys to the female reproductive system.
07:41Her incantation had unlocked our libidos.
07:47Pushing our desks together, we created an altar in which to enact the rites of passage.
07:55The class made sacrifices out of ourselves.
08:00Offering our bodies up to our idols.
08:05Miss Lovecraft continued to point towards the orifices of our gods.
08:12While the student body had an orgy of ungodly proportions.
08:21Hail Yog-Sugoth, the mighty vagina!
08:28Praise to the pit of Sugoths!
08:32Glory to the great messenger Cthulhu!
08:37Yog-Sugoth, the cyclopic worm!
08:51Oh, you must think I'm mad, Principal Peters.
08:57There's good reason, God knows.
09:01I'm lucky enough to still have a scrap of sanity left within me.
09:07I have bared witness to tears that come from beyond the body.
09:14Monstrous things that harbor themselves inside the shells of men like you and I.
09:24The rest of the seventh grade may not believe me.
09:28But later, my peers will weigh each statement I made as I was dragged down the hole.
09:35Correlating my words with the known facts, no matter how raving.
09:41Until the entire class asks themselves how they could have ever have believed otherwise.
09:50But until then, I myself found nothing but madness in these wild tales that I have acted upon.
10:00Even now I ask myself whether I was misled.
10:06Or whether or not I am mad at all.
10:14But the second my knees buckled upwards, hitting the underbelly of my desk,
10:23the class all turned around to face me.
10:27Even Miss Lovecraft was staring at me, her mouth hanging wide open.
10:34The look on her face thickening into utter horror.
10:39The second she realized my pants were now crumpled up at my ankles,
10:46my hands hidden below the desktop.
10:50Strips of Mother of Pearl stretched along the floor
10:55as if some slimy beast had been released from within me.
11:01The residue of its escape shining over the linoleum.
12:25© transcript Emily Beynon
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