- 11 years ago
Caesar thought it couldn't get any worse than his college sweetheart leaving the country to study abroad, but when she comes back engaged to another man, Caesar learns the true meaning of heartbreak. Surrounded by unsupportive and uninterested friends, Caesar seeks solace in a night-time radio talk show, and more specifically, the show's host. Julie hosts this college radio talk show where confused couples and desperate singles call up and complain about their love lives. Julie, who is in a passionless relationship of her own, gets the opportunity to dispense the advice she knows she should be taking. But when Caesar calls up her show, a spark is ignited. The trouble and fun begin when they flirt with the idea of turning their on-air relationship into an off-air romance.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I don't know about you, but I've always found train stations incredibly romantic.
00:00:14I don't think it's the trains specifically that I love, or the excitement of the people
00:00:18traveling on them.
00:00:20No, for me it's the people who come to greet or send off their loved ones.
00:00:25It's all the farewells and welcome backs whispered inside these walls that seem to
00:00:30resonate here long after they're said.
00:00:32It's magical, all that love in one building.
00:00:36Of course, you could say the same thing about airports, but they're so busy and chaotic.
00:00:40When was time to appreciate any of that?
00:00:44Now that's me, Julie, and I'm coming home after two weeks away.
00:00:48I can't tell you how good it feels to be back at home.
00:00:53Now my best friend April said she'd pick me up, but she's nowhere to be found.
00:00:57April has a habit of being late.
00:01:00I guess I should be mad, but on a day like today in a place like this, I don't mind waiting.
00:01:06I love to soak in the view.
00:01:09Now there, that's what I'm talking about.
00:01:12Where else do you see such public displays of affection?
00:01:16I mean, there are two people who are obviously in love.
00:01:21Now that kind of love, it's timeless, priceless, perfect.
00:01:28And I guess in the end, that's what most of us are looking for.
00:01:33Let's make a pact.
00:01:34Give me your hands.
00:01:36Oh God, somebody kill me.
00:01:37We wait for each other.
00:01:39I know I'm going to be gone a year, but I can't do this unless I know you're going to be here for me when I get back.
00:01:44I don't want to lose you.
00:01:46You won't.
00:01:50I love you.
00:01:51I knew she was going to do this.
00:01:52I knew this day would come.
00:01:53Somehow she would find a reason to leave me.
00:01:55Call me as soon as you get settled in, okay?
00:01:58I will.
00:02:02Oh, like you're going to call.
00:02:03Like you're going to call.
00:02:04You didn't call me on my birthday.
00:02:05You're going to call now?
00:02:07Boston College, master's degree.
00:02:09Like we don't have universities here.
00:02:12Think positive.
00:02:13It's only a year.
00:02:14365 days.
00:02:15You could do that.
00:02:16You could do that.
00:02:17I can't do that.
00:02:18That's nothing.
00:02:20I'm going to have to park my fucking car.
00:02:24I love you.
00:02:25I love you.
00:02:26I love you.
00:02:27I love you.
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00:03:20I love you.
00:03:22Hey guys I'm back.
00:03:23So let me just tell you where we are now.
00:03:25You see a year has passed.
00:03:26And uhm Rachel, she came back.
00:03:28Only she didn't come back to meet.
00:03:30No instead she comes back engaged to this fucking idiot.
00:03:35I was a confirmed bachelor, certain that I would never settled down.
00:03:39What the fuck am I doing here?
00:03:41And then out of the blue an angel walked into my life.
00:03:45She opened my eyes to a whole other universe,
00:03:48universe and took me on the most incredible of journeys and then just
00:03:53when I thought I couldn't possibly get any better fuck she gave me the greatest
00:03:57gift of all fuck you two for making it to be my wife and you fuck you I hope
00:04:03that in the decades to come I can give back to you at least a fraction of what
00:04:08you've already given me check please actually I'm not really that upset
00:04:13anymore I've adjusted quite well you see I moved on with my life yeah Rachel
00:04:19she's just a distant memory now who am I kidding I'm never gonna find a girl
00:04:25like Rachel I mean a girl like that comes around once a lifetime I can
00:04:29honestly say that when I was with her I never once thought about anybody
00:04:44Oh
00:05:04where was I I have no idea I shouldn't be this horny I even jerked off this
00:05:11morning just so I could make it through the afternoon oh god I hope Rachel
00:05:15doesn't ask me to go to the wedding oh shut up you bitch we've been here for
00:05:18two hours it's just been Rachel Rachel Rachel oh listen I know you're in pain
00:05:23but you cannot possibly be in more pain than me having to listen to this
00:05:26fucking conversation now this is what we're gonna do you and I tonight we're
00:05:31gonna go out we're gonna find a couple of girls preferably ones that will
00:05:34sleep with us and we're gonna try and forget about our but you know mostly
00:05:38your miserable life okay no I don't think so Trent all right then we're
00:05:43going to the car we're not going to the car let's go we're not get out we're
00:05:46going to the car I do not want to listen to TV theme songs are you trying to tell
00:05:51me that 90 minutes of classic sitcom themes it's not gonna put a smile on
00:05:54your face yes that's exactly what I'm saying
00:05:57Caesar look you take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you
00:06:02have the facts of life what are you doing the facts of life there's a time
00:06:06you gotta go and show you're growing now you know about the facts of life
00:06:10Tootie was a whore the facts of life when the world never say I'll get back
00:06:14here you douchebag
00:06:17as you all know I'm usually very hush-hush about my private life but in
00:06:39just a few short days my boyfriend and I will be celebrating our second year
00:06:43anniversary thank you thank you thank you so in light of this wonderful
00:06:51information tonight we are going to surrender our hearts to Cupid's arrows
00:06:55that's right tonight we are looking for your mushiest most sugary sweet romantic
00:07:00tales ever okay we have a few lines left open and we're ready to take your calls
00:07:06okay welcome to small talk go ahead please hello Julie my name is Denise
00:07:12first-time caller longtime listener oh well welcome to the show Denise thanks
00:07:16for calling yeah Julie so like last week I had the worst ever anniversary how so
00:07:24well I've been seeing my boyfriend Mark for three years and last week he had the
00:07:30nerve to come over to my house you know not with like flowers or candy but with
00:07:35a lottery ticket you know like a single $1 lottery ticket holy Christ Denise is
00:07:39that you on the radio get off the phone mark Wow we're really on the air people
00:07:46people please calm down um Mark Denise seems to be very disappointed with your
00:07:53goodness how shall I put this lack of imagination in the gift-giving area oh
00:08:00yeah and flowers are imagined okay just go back to your Metallica okay fuck you
00:08:04hey this is the radio you can't say fuck in the air did you say fuck in the air
00:08:07Julie don't worry it's college radio trust me no one's listening can I just
00:08:11give my side of the story why not look if that if that ticket was the winning
00:08:16one she wouldn't be talking on the phone right now she'd be gratefully gobbling
00:08:20my knob I'm coming up there and bitch-slapping you crazy out of your
00:08:24fucking mind okay may I remind everybody we are looking for your best anniversary
00:08:34stories
00:08:48you told me you knew me all your life a matter of time before we met
00:08:58now you tell me you're having second thoughts not sure anymore what you Nana
00:09:09grandma where are you going work what's wrong you never stay home anymore I have
00:09:16to go to work don't I fine go go work don't worry about me I'll just sit here
00:09:21with my peanuts when I get back I've got to take you to Uncle Frank's house mom
00:09:27said you were spending the weekend there I'm not going there I hate going there
00:09:31why my son doesn't talk to me his wife doesn't talk to me their kids don't talk
00:09:38to me he just puts me next to his mother-in-law who's even older than I am
00:09:42what kind of a weekend is that okay okay I'll figure out an excuse as to why I
00:09:47can't bring you all right that's why you're my favorite
00:09:57Oh
00:10:28Oh
00:10:35this is the one everybody wants over their mantle okay that's a big smile oh
00:10:39that's great lots of teeth lots of teeth lots of teeth Oh one more time
00:10:44let's oh this is good this is good this is the last one here we go
00:10:48aha that's that's it we're done I can't believe you wore that shirt it's fine
00:10:54there's a giant fucking stain on it it's just coffee okay I'm getting a
00:10:59migraine when will these pictures be done well I should have something for
00:11:03you in the next couple of weeks why don't I give you a call next week and
00:11:06I'll give you more exact dates great we'd appreciate that very much thank you
00:11:09don't thank me yet you haven't seen the pictures or the bill sorry that was a
00:11:18joke yes well we don't have time for jokes we're planning a wedding let's get
00:11:24the coat all right
00:11:37I can get used to this I wish you would I haven't seen you in two weeks well
00:11:43what can we do you work all night can't you find something normal during the day
00:11:47like everyone else you know everyone starts off in the graveyard shift maybe
00:11:53you should look for something else Kenny says they're looking for a
00:11:58receptionist at his office I don't want to be a receptionist what's the big deal
00:12:03you you sit down all day you take calls how's that different than what you do
00:12:08now very funny I love you you know
00:12:18what the fuck man I'm listening to that I broke up with Danielle last night guy
00:12:29you should have seen oh I don't want to hear it this job is depressing enough
00:12:33without you coming in here every goddamn day going wham wham my life sucks you
00:12:37don't see me coming to your job standing behind you at wedding saying how much my
00:12:40life sucks how about some good news for a change huh how about some life's
00:12:44wonderful everything's gonna get better bullshit to cheer me up I am sweeping
00:12:48fucking hair here guy I need some sunshine 20 minutes into sex and I
00:12:53realize I've got no future with this woman I can't wake up with her every
00:12:56morning well you broke up with her during sex no I waited till it was over
00:13:01all right hey guys I see sir hey Sonia how's it going good you're getting your
00:13:13hair cut no I'm just hanging around oh well if you get tired of this spot just
00:13:20feel free to come by and keep me company you got it I'll see you around yeah see
00:13:24ya hey Trent let me know when you go on lunch
00:13:28sure thing the fuck is wrong with you can't you see that girl likes you what
00:13:36are you talking about she's just being friendly friendly what fucking planet
00:13:38are you from she wants you Trent it's been a horrible weekend I don't want to
00:13:42confuse it any further oh you are such a fucking douchebag look you're
00:13:46obviously into this whole self-pity thing so I'm gonna go along with it hey
00:13:49fine why don't you go out and get hit by a fucking bus you can end up in the
00:13:52hospital everyone can crowd around your little bed you could put on your tragedy
00:13:55show for them cry me a fucking river everyone feels sorry for Caesar thanks
00:13:59for the pep talk hey anytime he called himself a cannon and then rolled over
00:14:04and fell asleep get off this train this ride is going nowhere I don't know I
00:14:09mean I've been with Albert for two years we must be doing something right
00:14:14what nothing don't give me nothing I know that stare you think I should find
00:14:19someone else I didn't say that no you didn't have to but that's what you're
00:14:22thinking miss I've been with the same man for seven years look what David and
00:14:27I have it's different than what you and Albert have maybe but that doesn't mean
00:14:33that it's better I mean me and Albert we're just going through a dry spell
00:14:36right now and that's all dry spell when was the last time you had a real honest
00:14:43to goodness orgasm last night well after Albert fell asleep I
00:15:07who are you kidding what did I tell you about barging in what not to could you
00:15:14please like try and knock before you come in please could you try it for me
00:15:17could you please thank you is that better much
00:15:36it's really quiet downstairs you could come down I can't I'm reading read
00:15:55downstairs I can't read downstairs because you're gonna start talking to me
00:15:59no I won't you're talking to me right now why do you think you'd stop talking
00:16:02to me when we get downstairs fine I won't say another word okay let's
00:16:19notice I have noticed that I have been spending way too much time on topics
00:16:23dealing with relationships I guess I never realized that I've been alienating
00:16:27a whole group of young enthusiastic living life to the fullest single people
00:16:32and that's why tonight we are gonna focus our entire discussion on the
00:16:36singles life that's right no more ho-hum stories of stodgy old couples nope
00:16:41tonight it's singles only night and let the adventures begin okay we're gonna go
00:16:46to the phone lines right now okay the phone lines are completely open and
00:16:51we're taking your calls all right it's 12 o'clock in the morning and we're on
00:16:58till four o'clock in the morning so you better hurry come on people don't be
00:17:06shy okay we've got one go ahead you're on small talk I'm calling on behalf of
00:17:13street 8 do you have any old clothes you'd like to donate today's topic for
00:17:22those of you who are just joining in is the singles life and our crack team of
00:17:30operators are standing by ready and eager to take your calls okay listen
00:17:40people I can wait as long as you can I mean I get paid whether you call me or
00:17:45not so there's less than three hours left in the show the ball's in your
00:17:50court go ahead you're on small talk hi can you turn down your radio please oh
00:18:12sorry okay I'm back okay we're still on the air go ahead please with what with
00:18:25why you called huh I just wanted to make sure you were okay excuse me this past
00:18:31hour has been pretty painful oh great you've been listening the whole hour
00:18:34yeah and it hasn't been easy thanks I figured the least I could do is throw
00:18:41and I appreciate that but you know we really should move on you know why
00:18:45you're not getting any callers don't you know why because there are no
00:18:50advantages to being single and I think you know that or you would have already
00:18:53come up with a few yourself well how about the fact when you're single you're
00:18:58open to finding a new relationship which is a lot better than being in a bad one
00:19:01trying to turn it into a good one that's what you're doing I beg your pardon last
00:19:08you're doing a show on anniversaries now you're doing a show on the singles life
00:19:11I'm assuming the anniversary didn't go over too well actually you couldn't be
00:19:15more wrong my anniversary went just fine fine whoa your anniversary went fine I
00:19:25mean I know when I'm out romancing a woman the reaction I'm hoping for is Oh
00:19:30Caesar that was just so fine okay okay okay you win shut up already so my
00:19:37anniversary didn't go as well as I'd hope dull sex same sex you're a dyke no
00:19:42I mean the sex was the same you know routine sex incredible really you know
00:19:47we've been together almost two years and it's always the same we always start off
00:19:51in missionary positions and I wouldn't know he usually comes by then
00:19:56oh actually no it's quite painless most times can't feel a thing
00:20:00does he you know listen to the show oh I'm sorry I am being a little harsh I
00:20:08guess it's been what one would call a bad week I do love him so how about you
00:20:15have you had any atrophically exciting sex in the recent past last week I had
00:20:21sex with four girls from Buffalo how was that the sex was good the wings were
00:20:26better cute actually I've never even been to Buffalo I've been to Niagara
00:20:30Falls but something happened I had to come home so you didn't have sex with
00:20:35four girls from Buffalo didn't even have the wings now you see you sound like
00:20:41someone who's just recently become single and my guess is you're not
00:20:45enjoying your newfound freedom I guess it's been a rough couple of weeks so how
00:20:51long were you together a couple months well we never really did click I was
00:20:59buying time you should be relieved I am I mean it gets harder and harder to
00:21:03break up with someone the longer you're with them I couldn't imagine breaking up
00:21:08with her a year from now or two years from now you still there yeah yeah sorry
00:21:18so tell me something about yourself what do you want to know anything we've
00:21:24got two hours left in the show just make sure it's nice and long
00:21:31sorry okay why don't I start from the beginning then when I was five I own the
00:21:40big wheels but every other kid on the block on the green machine so every time
00:21:45I pedaled out of my garage all the other kids would chase after me get the
00:21:49big wheels get the big wheels and they'd surround me and they'd beat the shit out
00:21:53of me and my big wheels and that's when I first knew I was different from all
00:21:57the rest of the kids one day they broke off my handbrake and threw it in my face
00:22:02and pushed me down the hill at the end of a block
00:22:16April hey what are you doing you want to go grab some breakfast April you're
00:22:28having sex again aren't you
00:22:33god bless those two
00:22:45hello hi it's me you still want to go have breakfast
00:23:03so nothing what I'm fucking small what I'm fucking small too much of creating I
00:23:16look like this that's a contact sheet you choose the one you want and I blow
00:23:21it up for you you can't even see my pipes Rob geez those are headshots
00:23:25they're not pipe shots and where's my tattoo Rob I don't know I don't know
00:23:29where's my tattoo Rob those are promo shots for your comedy show no one has to
00:23:35see your arm hey asshole you're not the one on stage sometimes the joke doesn't
00:23:38go so well eh there's the safe you're right you know I'm sorry you're right
00:23:43why don't we move this show from the comedy club to the beach and everybody
00:23:46can see your arms take your shirt off you know I can't go to the fucking beach
00:23:50oh I'm sorry I forgot yeah I like to forget too but people keep mentioning it
00:23:55I wasn't thinking you know people just don't know how a trauma can fuck a
00:24:00person Rob listen I'm listen Rob you pick the picture you want and I'll blow
00:24:08it up for you tonight okay why don't you pick it asshole so if I were single do
00:24:17you think you'd be the type of friend and always try and set me up I don't
00:24:21know probably not what don't you know any cute guys no it's not that so you
00:24:26don't think I'd make a good match with any of them I didn't say that well what
00:24:30then I just figured you'd frown on that matchmaking stuff I know you don't like
00:24:35people meddling in your life you're very private I'm not that private besides I'd
00:24:38probably appreciate the help well I'll make a mental note of it if and when
00:24:43you're single again and I'll do you know anybody are you an Albert breaking up
00:24:47no oh Jesus Christ no I just I just thought I might want to you know date
00:24:54other guys what happened does something always have to happen I just I just
00:24:59thought it might be a good idea I mean I I'm 25 years old maybe I haven't given
00:25:04the singles life a fair shake I just want to see what's out there
00:25:10over our heads deeds me hey bitch how's the wedding oh it's fabulous they got
00:25:20these flowers and ribbons in the shape of dolphins right and the ring boy and
00:25:24the flower girl they're playing with the dolphins it's fucking adorable that bad
00:25:28huh oh god I'll be shitting confetti for weeks what's going on there well let's
00:25:32see I got scissors in my hand I got a guy sitting in the chair you fill in the
00:25:36blanks what do you want ah anyway listen can you uh you know you think you
00:25:46could still set me up with Sonia oh well hang on let me check hey Sonia you're
00:25:50gonna go out with Caesar tomorrow night yes you are shut your fucking cake hole
00:25:54that's what you're doing yeah she said she'd love to ha ha fucking ha yeah I'll
00:25:58set it up it's about fucking time great I really appreciate this look I gotta go
00:26:02okay I'll talk I told you I'm seeing my sister next week and I'll put in a good
00:26:10word for you thank you Julie and can you make sure to tell her that I love her I
00:26:13know it's only been two dates can't wait till she sees the ring I'm hanging up
00:26:18now Donnie go ahead you're on snot talk hey Julie hi hi it's me Caesar I called
00:26:25last week during the single show yeah I remember you excellent so what I
00:26:30excuse me it's just that I got in you know I missed the first hour of the show
00:26:35so what happened well we were discussing first impressions but wait a minute I'm
00:26:40not gonna sit here and give you a summary of the last hour we're on the
00:26:43air so so I don't think my audience is particularly interested in rehashing the
00:26:49last hour simply for your benefit oh it was that bad huh no it wasn't that bad
00:26:59oh I'm sorry it's just that I got through in the first try so I figured
00:27:03that there weren't many callers you know you always start off with what seems
00:27:08like innocent flattering comments but it always ends up being shots at my show
00:27:12I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that
00:27:16hold on a second
00:27:25hello yeah I'm still here sorry about that my roommates they were screaming
00:27:31roommate yeah I share a place with a couple of people so where were we Caesar
00:27:38what are you doing on the phone you have any idea what time it is
00:27:43tell your friends that they can't call at this hour tell whoever it is good
00:27:48night and that you'll call them tomorrow would you get off the phone is this that
00:27:52girl from down the street you listen to me you little slut stay away from my son
00:27:58okay mom okay I'll get off the phone would you just please hang up you need
00:28:03a lunch for work tomorrow yeah please well well well well what do we have here
00:28:12huh mr. know-it-all still lives at home with mum's and dad's name are you done
00:28:18yet typical suburban boy huh can't move out till you get married it's not like I
00:28:23can't it's just we suburbanites as a whole frown upon that sort of thing oh
00:28:28okay I see I see so where were we before your mommy interrupted yes before my
00:28:35mommy interrupted uh you're insulting my show I'm sorry about that I should
00:28:40apologize forget it it's not necessary no please let me make it up to you I
00:28:44know I can be tactless so pay me a compliment I could use one right about
00:28:48now a compliment okay here goes compliment it is you know the longer you
00:29:00wait the worse I look I'm sorry I just can't come up with anything clever right
00:29:05now so how about the truth the truth okay the truth okay all right all right
00:29:13here we go here comes the truth you ready I'm ready you're sitting down I'm
00:29:17sitting down what are you wearing Caesar sorry okay the truth it is the truth is
00:29:28that I have to get up every morning at 7 o'clock and even though I shouldn't be
00:29:31listening to your show that I should be getting to bed earlier I don't I find it
00:29:38find it hard to go to sleep with without hearing your voice at least once before
00:29:41I go to bed I weirded you out didn't I no no yeah I did I'm sorry I do that a
00:29:51lot but I promise it's all very innocent I'm not a stalker or anything like that
00:29:56it's just that I find your voice comforting I like the fact that you're
00:30:00as confused as I am and that you don't pretend to have all the answers that's
00:30:04why I listen to your show it's like a favorite song that you listen to over
00:30:08and over again when you're down
00:30:12that's the end of the compliment in case you were expecting more oh sorry I just
00:30:19lost my train of thought there for a second Wow
00:30:25thank you Caesar thank you I do hope to hear back from you really soon
00:30:41can we see
00:30:45Oh
00:31:15now put away all my fears
00:31:25watching my hand yeah and we'll both face the world baby I want to be a man
00:31:39and there's no
00:32:09I had a great time
00:32:36yeah good for you I'll call you
00:32:43so what did you do I broke up with him it's been four weeks
00:32:48how did four weeks been a little boring actually but you said the relationship
00:32:54was boring it was but you're still bored yeah so was your relationship boring or
00:33:00no offense are you boring I don't know
00:33:07you
00:33:19hey hey
00:33:24amazing weather huh looks like it's gonna rain oh I just love the smell of
00:33:34freshly cut grass though don't you
00:33:38allergies yeah it's days like this that it makes me think of the beaches are
00:33:44just the other day I went to the fucking beaches pardon me nothing I'm just not
00:33:50crazy about the beach oh oh I see what is it about the beach that everybody
00:33:54likes anyway what is it the Sun the water oh no it's the water right it is
00:33:59it's the water yeah you know people lose things in the water I hear that yeah
00:34:02important things very yeah I really should be leaving now where you going
00:34:06strangest thing I just remembered I drove to work out my car is parked over
00:34:10there can I get a ride actually I'm sorry I'm going the other way which way
00:34:15is that I don't remember Joe so he keeps a metal object in his tights right but
00:34:29either way so the guys on the bottom of the mat right and then the guy goes on
00:34:32the top rope looks at the audience and then drops the elbow one two three bang
00:34:35just off the top rope like that right off the top row that's not right I don't
00:34:38think they should give somebody macho man's move when he's hurt yeah what's
00:34:41all scripted all right it's not so much scripted as improv right like if they're
00:34:45gonna throw him out of the ring and at some point I'll hit you with the chair
00:34:47and then at some point I'll throw you back in and there'll be three or four
00:34:50whatever's until I pin you yeah but see like we don't know that that's gonna
00:34:53happen so like that's why it's really cool
00:34:58hey what did I tell you Sonia peach or what man let me tell you something I'm
00:35:05not supposed to tell you this but first time Sonia ever saw you the first word
00:35:09she said to me was Wow Wow is good Wow is Wow spelled backwards you can't fuck
00:35:15up a Wow Trent nothing happened all right what do you mean nothing happened
00:35:18between me and Sonia and nothing happened everything I could do wrong I
00:35:22did do wrong so please let's talk about something else close your eyes keep
00:35:31your eyes shut this stuff burns so you don't want to talk about it no I don't
00:35:39want to talk it's too painful for you I don't want to talk really don't want to
00:35:42talk no I guess we're still talking about it right goddamn right we are
00:35:45where'd you go dinner in a movie well that's original excuse me I'm still here
00:35:50face front Delaney I'm fucking talking here where'd you take her death and the
00:35:57maiden death and the maiden what nothing what's a good movie I'm sure it was
00:36:03it's great actually feel good hit of the year what'd you do next personally I
00:36:08think the whole idea of a church wedding is a big fucking joke I mean most people
00:36:12never go to church before they're married and even less go after they're
00:36:15married I mean they say they go there because of its significance or its
00:36:19tradition but it's a bunch of bullshit really I mean a fucking gas station has
00:36:22played a more important role in my life than the church has ever had if I had to
00:36:26choose I'd probably get married there how's your espresso that's what you
00:36:34talked about yeah you told her that you wanted to get married in a gas station
00:36:40she knew what I meant Oh what nothing don't give me that nothing I know that
00:36:48look what do I have that look of pity and disgust on my face that I usually do
00:36:53when you talk to me yeah all then I'll just turn the other way what's the
00:37:00matter with you you don't look too good
00:37:04reply how come you stayed home it's Saturday night couldn't find a date no I
00:37:12just just want some time to myself good for you you've got your whole life to
00:37:19think about girls and all those things those things those things that you and
00:37:25some girl or girls I mean who knows these days will do when you're together
00:37:31me and your grandfather did those things well we did could we not talk
00:37:37about it of course I didn't really want to do those things not with him anyway
00:37:42what kind of guy was grandpa about average I guess six seven inches
00:37:47personality wise oh he was a good man a sincere man but he was a lousy husband
00:37:57okay how long are we gonna be here you said you wanted to see what your big
00:38:02sister does this is what you do yeah I mean I do other things this is just the
00:38:08most interesting be sure to bring you to career day what are you complaining
00:38:13about you gotta skip a day off school didn't you it's Saturday oh yeah oh come
00:38:21on it's not that bad is it hey I take you to the radio station but mom and
00:38:26dad won't let you stay up that late you know sometimes a mom and dad think I'm
00:38:30asleep I stayed up and listen to your show there's some pretty screwed up
00:38:34people on that show like the other night with that there she is
00:38:37the lady with the purse who's she I don't know why are you waiting for her
00:38:44I'm not sure you think that was I was bad had a nightmare of a date a few
00:38:51nights back I'm still recovering from it no I only made mistakes you know the
00:39:07way you can just tell about a person especially when it's not right that
00:39:11first moment you meet them there's something missing I mean when you look
00:39:15back and somebody asked you how you met you want to have that magical quality
00:39:19either the way it happened or the feelings you got when it did happen well I was over
00:39:24to it Sonia I was set up by a friend and the only thing going through my mind
00:39:28when I first met her was yeah okay sure and just like that you know she isn't
00:39:34someone you can be with well when you first met your boyfriend I'm sure that
00:39:38was the instant connection am I right and you guys didn't have that instant
00:39:42connection so you think you weren't meant to be together yeah and me and my
00:39:46boyfriend did have that instant connection therefore we are meant to be
00:39:49together well for your sake I hope so it sounds like you're putting an awful lot
00:39:53of importance on just one meeting well when I first met Rachel something
00:39:58happened to me that was as indescribable and where's this Rachel now she's
00:40:04engaged well do you think it's therapy to compare other girls to her well I
00:40:09think it makes sense that I'd want to feel the same way I did with Rachel with
00:40:12all these other girls I mean I was in love that's how I knew so obviously I
00:40:15want to feel that way again yeah but and don't you think the girl I'm with
00:40:19deserves to be with someone who gets those feelings about her who isn't with
00:40:23her just because he's afraid of being alone is that what you were doing with
00:40:27your other girlfriend Danielle yes I mean maybe not right at the beginning
00:40:31but I knew pretty quickly that we were in a good match so what went wrong with
00:40:34Sonia see I was hoping that you could tell me Caesar honey it's not that easy
00:40:40you know what scares me most of all not that I won't be able to find that thing
00:40:45that I have with Rachel that I won't be able to recognize it when it does come
00:40:49along I mean my parents they've been married for 30 years and all I can think
00:40:54to myself when I look at them is make sure you don't end up like them I'm sure
00:40:58at one point in their lives they thought they were perfect for each other I mean
00:41:01I thought I was perfect for Rachel now she's getting married to somebody else
00:41:04which proves I don't know shit so what makes me think I'll avoid making the
00:41:08same mistakes my parents made I come home every night and there they are in
00:41:13the living room watching TV he's fast asleep with his head in her lap and
00:41:17she's scanning the channels that's a night out for them I mean 30 years of
00:41:21marriage and she's nothing more than a pillow to him
00:41:26I'm sorry I'm rambling now I mean they've been married for 30 years they
00:41:30must be doing something right no sorry no they're not doing something right it
00:41:38it's not enough to just be together there should be something more and I
00:41:44think you're right for wanting that something more thanks I guess now all I
00:41:51have to do is find somebody who wants that too
00:41:54I'm happy there I don't think you're gonna have any problems
00:42:03Albert Albert
00:42:08you
00:42:23hey baby it's the cannon sorry I can't make it tonight something's just come up
00:42:28but I promise I'll make it up to you hope you like the flowers hi Julie it's
00:42:34Ted Simpkins over at KRCW we have an opening at our Greensboro station let me
00:42:38think you might be interested in we went over your resume and tapes and
00:42:41you're definitely qualified so we were hoping we can meet tomorrow at our front
00:42:44street head office say around 1 o'clock give us a call tomorrow to confirm
00:42:47thanks I just gonna drop off yeah yeah here you go your majesty let's pull you
00:42:53right up here and oh hang on there's a puddle there you rotten bet no no no
00:42:56hang on I'll back up you don't get your friggin feet what you stupid ass
00:43:01oh no no no no thanks ha ha ha no thanks oh shit oh no what is that it's
00:43:17not even clean
00:43:19I'm not
00:43:22the ashtray or something I'm gonna do some change
00:43:27I don't even have pockets for this stuff
00:43:29what's wrong with me
00:43:31smile for me
00:43:33smile for me
00:43:35you fucking beast
00:43:37oh I uh
00:43:39oh there you go
00:43:41oh my god is that the greatest American hero
00:43:43yeah
00:43:45I love that show that guy was so cute
00:43:47yes you are
00:43:49oh here it comes here it comes
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00:48:03Norman, you okay? You need my help? Okay, come on, come on. Norman, every week's the
00:48:13same thing. It's like clockwork with you. I can cook my egg. Okay, would you just please
00:48:18tell me, please? Why do you want to know what I look like? Because I'm so sick and tired
00:48:22of jerking off to a voice. Okay, okay, okay. I'm, uh, I'm, uh, 6'2". I've got long bleach
00:48:30blonde hair, and I've got really big boobs. Can you say tits? I've got really big tits.
00:48:37Oh, and I've got my, my eyebrow pierced, my nose pierced, my tongue pierced, my lip pierced,
00:48:43and my clit pierced. Good girl. And I've got a tattoo that starts from the bottom of my
00:48:47back, runs all the way up, wraps around my neck, and on it it says, I want to rock and
00:48:52roll all night and party every day. I love that fucking song! Isn't that a great song?
00:48:59So how about you? You said you were 6'2"? Uh-huh. Well, I'm 4'1". Short, stumpy, really
00:49:05fat, no, no, stocky, not fat. Uh, and I've got a really large penis. Not in length, but
00:49:12in girth. Girth. Girth. It's been compared too many a times to a can of tuna. And I also
00:49:19have a tattoo. It runs along my ankle, all the way up to my crotch, wrapping around my
00:49:23leg, with the words reading, girls, they want to have fun. Oh, girls, they want to have
00:49:28fun, girls. They wanna. They wanna have fun. Girls. Okay, okay, well, you know what I've
00:49:36got? Oh, shoot, one second, Caesar. Hi, welcome back from commercials, and you're listening
00:49:42to Small Talk, where it's all talk, all the time. Okay, let's play a record. You still
00:49:50there? Happy birthday to you, and many more. That isn't funny. Blow out your candles, Mom.
00:50:02What are y'all trying to do, kill me? This one's from us, Mom. Wow, handkerchiefs. Can't
00:50:27have enough of these. This one's for me.
00:50:57I guess the picture wasn't such a good idea, huh? It's beautiful. Well, I was drawing
00:51:13something beautiful. When I was young, before I got married, there was a man in our town
00:51:23who would sit in the cafe every day and just draw. And every morning, he would ask me to
00:51:31sit down when I came in to get some ice cream, and he would draw me. He used to ask me to
00:51:41marry him every morning. He said I was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. It's
00:51:50taken all these years for someone else to say those words to me. I certainly never heard
00:51:58them come out of your grandfather. 38 years we were married. Never once did he say I was
00:52:08beautiful. And now... Norman, from across the street, he always asks me about you. And
00:52:20when he sees you, he doesn't see this. He sees you, now, as you are. So how was your
00:52:32weekend? It was quiet. I stayed home with my grandmother. Well, that's sweet. Oh, that's
00:52:40sweet. You know, every girl I know says, Cesar, that's so sweet, that is so adorable. But
00:52:45come Saturday night, no one's knocking on my door wanting to join in on the fun. Well,
00:52:49I think that's a wonderful way to spend the weekend. Oh, great. Come on over. We'll go
00:52:53out for some chicken wing or salmon. Very funny. Let me guess, you're washing your hair,
00:52:59right? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey, let me give you some advice. You should change this show
00:53:04to one of those 1-800 dating services. Now, why the hell would I do that? You got all
00:53:08these lonely people calling in, right? Half of them are in bad relationships. The other
00:53:12half aren't even in relationships. You can just hook these people up. That is the stupidest
00:53:16idea I've ever fucking heard. Fuck you. What do you know? You're a pillow. Fuck you. I've
00:53:20been doing this a long time. I think I know. Phone relationships, they never work. Yeah,
00:53:26I guess you're right. I mean, look at us. I mean, you're a radio host and I'm a caller
00:53:30and that's it. I mean, I couldn't ask you out. You must have, like, tons of crazy people
00:53:36calling you up asking you out on dates. No, no, no. You're the only one so far. Well,
00:53:40technically, I never asked you out. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. My mistake. I mean, you asking
00:53:48me out, that would be totally insane. Totally insane. Nuts. Totally crazy. Yeah. Yeah. You're
00:54:00not going to meet him, are you? I don't know. These things always turn out badly. Either
00:54:05one of you is disappointed by how the other looks or he turns out to be a psycho rapist
00:54:09who killed and dismembers you. Oh, great. Those are the only two scenarios. You know,
00:54:13you're my big sister. This is the kind of advice that you should be giving me. Jeez,
00:54:17haven't you seen Scream? No. Why? Did a DJ get involved with a caller? No. People were
00:54:22killed and dismembered. Oh, lovely. Besides, don't you have a boyfriend? Okay, I'm back.
00:54:29Is the popcorn ready? So what'd you get? Return to the planet of the apes and Cobra. I broke
00:54:37up with Albert last night. How do you feel? Relieved. You've known you were going to do
00:54:48this for a while now. Yeah. Yeah, I have. I shouldn't have waited as long as I had,
00:54:57but I'm sure glad I finally got around to doing it. So what was it? Was it that you
00:55:04were just drifting apart? You know, I'm really not too sure we were actually even close enough
00:55:10to drift apart. All right, this is a bad vibe. Really bad vibe. I'm sorry. Don't be sorry.
00:55:17You know, I'm going to be frank with you, okay? Okay. You need some Frank. What? Trust
00:55:23me, this always helps me when I'm down. Huh? So? I love this song. What did I tell you?
00:55:35Oh, my goodness. Okay, now stand up. Stand up? Yeah, stand up. We're going to dance.
00:55:40I am not going to stand up. You're going to stand up. Get up off your fucking ass. Okay,
00:55:45okay. I'm standing. All right. Now, put your right hand into my left hand. Now, your left
00:55:51hand goes onto my hips as my right hand slowly works its way up your shirt, under your bra,
00:55:56tweaking your nipple. Caesar. I'm sorry. Oh, okay, this is it. You ready? We're going to
00:56:01start dancing. All right? We're going to go to the left on three. Ready? One, two, three,
00:56:05and... Wait a minute. Your left or my left? Yes, my left. Who's leading here? Sorry. Okay,
00:56:10to the left. And left. Two, three, four. Now, you watch me for a little bit. We're going
00:56:28to jump into my arms. Are you ready? You're going to jump into my arms. Are you ready?
00:56:54Did you catch me? Yeah, I caught you. So, what'd you think? Frank is good. Well, thank
00:57:12me then. Thank you, Caesar. You're welcome, Julie. I do not understand this relationship
00:57:20of yours. You're not supposed to. I do. That's all that matters. Now, you seem muffin. I
00:57:24don't think you do. Muffin? Perry doesn't like it when I swear. Aw. Gilligan. For the
00:57:42fifth time on this miserable crap hole of a day, it's Mulligan, not Gilligan. Mulligan.
00:57:54Anyways, T, things are simple. It comes really easy with her. I like the fact that she really
00:57:59listens to me when I talk. Of course she listens. It's her friggin' job. And thousands of other
00:58:03people are listening, too. Man, I don't know why you want to broadcast your sex life to
00:58:07the whole world. It's college radio. There's 20 people listening, tops. Besides, I like
00:58:11getting a female point of view on things and not getting advice from someone who quotes
00:58:15from Laverne and Shirley. Hey, that really hurts, because you know I'm not kidding when
00:58:19I do that. I'm sorry. But can't you be happy for me? I got a good thing going on here.
00:58:23You don't have anything going on. She's just a voice. You can't get a BJ from a voice.
00:58:27A what? A BJ. A hummer. A cocksicle, you know. A cocksicle. Oh, fuck, I said cock. You made
00:58:34me swear. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm going to catch hell for that. Yeah. It's all right. So are
00:58:46you going to meet this girl or what? I don't know. I've thought about it. But things are
00:58:50going good. I don't want to fuck things up. Eh, you think she's ugly. No. Yeah, you do.
00:58:54I don't. You do so. Maybe. I mean, no, it's not. I guess. Stop. Okay, I know what you're
00:59:00trying to do. You're trying to put these thoughts in my head. But it's not going to work. I
00:59:03know what's going to happen. I'm going to ask her to meet me. She'll think I'm another
00:59:06lonely, desperate fan. And that'll end it. Things are fine. Fine, then. You do what you
00:59:11want. But pretty soon, the phone calls are going to get tiresome. And then you're not
00:59:14even going to have that. Julie, it's Ted Simpkins over at KRCW. I've got some good news. Give
00:59:22me a call back. 555-5165. Thanks. So you're telling me that Carrie isn't a squeegee girl?
00:59:30No, not full-time. She doesn't like the whole nine-to-five thing. She's an entrepreneur.
00:59:33That's cool. Yeah, it's perfect. There's like no overhead. I mean, you grab a brush, a bucket,
00:59:37some hair color, and off you go. What about her parents? Do they like you? No. Why not?
00:59:42Uh, her dad has a toupee. Kind of looks at me as like a slap in the face. It's not your
00:59:46fault you're a hairdresser. I know. I was born that way. Hey, did you fuck her yet, then?
00:59:50Hey, come on. I don't want to talk about that kind of thing. So did you? Yeah, last night.
00:59:55Twice. She's incredible. No shit. She was a gymnast, you know. Come on. Fuck, I don't
01:00:02see my ball anywhere. I gotta take a piss. You can't take a piss here. I gotta take a
01:00:06piss. We're in a golf course. You can't. Just help me find my ball. You can't take a piss.
01:00:11Fuck. Dogs. What do you mean? Fucking dogs.
01:00:23Thank you very much. For what? I can't believe you're gonna leave me alone with Mom and Dad.
01:00:29Oh, don't get ahead of yourself. Just because they offered me the job doesn't mean I'm gonna
01:00:35take it. It's more money, isn't it? Yeah. So why wouldn't you take it? I just don't
01:00:41know if I'm ready to pick up and leave all this. All what? Look, you're too young to
01:00:47understand, but it takes time to build friendships and relationships, to find a place where you
01:00:54feel comfortable, you know, where things make sense. And you found that? And besides, I
01:01:01mean, what about my listeners? Don't I owe them something? Your listeners? Julie, please.
01:01:05They'll find someone else a day after you're gone. Trust me. Remember 90210? Everyone used
01:01:11to love that show, and now it sucks. And now there's Boston's Creek, and we all watch that,
01:01:16and in a few years that'll suck, and we'll watch something else. That's the way it works.
01:01:20Don't worry about your listeners. They'll be fine.
01:01:31Hello, Caesar? No, it's nothing.
01:01:33Caesar? No, it's still me.
01:01:35Caesar? Yeah, I'm here.
01:01:38Oh, thank goodness. I thought Gary disconnected you.
01:01:40No, I'm still here. I'm just outside now, counting the stars.
01:01:44So how many are up there? Well, according to my calculations, there
01:01:48are a total of four. But between the pollution and the streetlights, I can't see shit.
01:01:55I'm glad I got a hold of you. I wanted to tell you something.
01:01:59Great, because there's something I wanted to tell you too.
01:02:01Good, go ahead. Uh, no. Could you go first?
01:02:05Okay. Um...
01:02:10Remember that job I was telling you about?
01:02:14The one in Greensboro? Yeah. They said it's mine if I want it.
01:02:25Congratulations.
01:02:26Uh, well, no, I haven't accepted it yet. I have until the end of the week.
01:02:32So? Should I go?
01:02:36Well, it's a great opportunity, right?
01:02:39I mean, you can't be doing college radio all your life.
01:02:42Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
01:02:51Well, I should be going.
01:02:56Okay.
01:03:26Okay.
01:03:56Come on. No. Come out with us.
01:04:21Uh, no. Come on. No, I...
01:04:28I was with Albert for almost two years. I mean, I know it wasn't magic.
01:04:33But I do need a mourning period. The last year of your relationship was a mourning period.
01:04:37Now, come on. David and I are going out tonight, and I want you to come with us.
01:04:42Where are yous going?
01:04:44Anywhere you want. Anywhere I want.
01:04:48I guess I could use a laugh.
01:04:51Come on.
01:04:57Cesare, calm down. It's a good one tonight.
01:05:02Siete.
01:05:03Why?
01:05:12Where's Ma?
01:05:13Sopra.
01:05:14Ma.
01:05:22Ma, why don't you go upstairs with Ma instead of watching this stuff?
01:05:27So go wake her up. Surprise her.
01:05:36I bet you she's thinking the same thing, Pa.
01:05:45There's no American TV.
01:05:55What the fuck?
01:06:05KCW. Tony speaking. How can I help you?
01:06:08What's going on? Where's Julie?
01:06:09Julie? Oh, she's a nice gal. Too bad she's leaving. She'll find a job somewhere else.
01:06:14That's it. She's gone.
01:06:15Yeah. Bye-bye.
01:06:16Do you know when she's leaving?
01:06:18I think if she says she's leaving tomorrow, she'll take a bus to Greensboro or something like that.
01:06:22That's it. She's gone.
01:06:24What's the matter? You don't speak English?
01:06:39I'm going to put on some music.
01:07:10Fuck me.
01:07:16Who could that be?
01:07:19I got a pretty good idea.
01:07:24What?
01:07:25We need to talk.
01:07:26I can't believe she's leaving.
01:07:28I don't know.
01:07:29I don't know.
01:07:30I don't know.
01:07:31I don't know.
01:07:32I don't know.
01:07:33I don't know.
01:07:34I don't know.
01:07:35I don't know.
01:07:36I don't know.
01:07:37I don't know.
01:07:38I can't believe she's leaving.
01:07:39Don't tell me you're in love with her.
01:07:41I don't know.
01:07:42I think I am.
01:07:43I mean, I've never met her, but I think if I did, I'd really fall for her.
01:07:45I mean, I came home tonight and turned on the radio and she's not there.
01:07:48We talked to each other for like two months.
01:07:50I don't know what I'm going to do.
01:07:51Where'd she go?
01:07:52Greensboro.
01:07:53Fucking Greensboro.
01:07:54What the fuck's in Greensboro, man?
01:07:56I mean, what's so violent and repugnant about me that forces women to flee the city?
01:07:59Listen, bitch.
01:08:00Trent!
01:08:02I'm sorry, honey.
01:08:03Listen, muffin.
01:08:04Do you remember when Rachel went away?
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:07Do you remember what you did?
01:08:08I jerked off a whole bunch.
01:08:10About her going away.
01:08:12No, what did I do?
01:08:13Nothing.
01:08:14You did nothing and Rachel got engaged.
01:08:16Now, I'm no genius.
01:08:17Don't say that.
01:08:18You're very bright.
01:08:19You just lack motivation and a proper education.
01:08:22Thanks, honey.
01:08:23I love you.
01:08:24Oh, I love you.
01:08:25Not as much as I love you.
01:08:26Oh, I love you more.
01:08:27I love you more.
01:08:28I love you the most.
01:08:29I love you the most.
01:08:30I'm still here.
01:08:31Oh, sorry.
01:08:32Where was I?
01:08:33You're no genius.
01:08:34Right.
01:08:35Why don't you and another love of your life walk out the door?
01:08:37Why don't you go after this one?
01:08:39You think I should go with her?
01:08:40I don't know.
01:08:41Didn't you ever think about going away with Rachel?
01:08:42Do you think we'd still be together if I did?
01:08:44I don't know.
01:08:45Why the hell are you asking me?
01:08:51Caesar!
01:08:52Hey.
01:08:53Caesar, what are you doing here?
01:08:55We need to talk.
01:08:57Hey, Jeffrey.
01:09:02Am I the only one not having sex tonight?
01:09:04Caesar, what are you doing here?
01:09:07I'm going to ask you a question, and I need you to tell me the truth.
01:09:11I know it's going to sound a little fucked up, but I need you to tell me.
01:09:20All right.
01:09:23If I got on that train with you, would we still be together?
01:09:26If I had left with you, would I be the one in this bed with you right now?
01:09:30No offense.
01:09:31This is all hypothetical.
01:09:32You know, you can sleep easy.
01:09:33I've been sleeping.
01:09:34Caesar, where is this coming from?
01:09:35What's going on?
01:09:36I don't have time to get into that right now.
01:09:38Please, just tell me.
01:09:40Listen, I cared for you a lot.
01:09:44We had something really special between us.
01:09:47But I can't answer that.
01:09:50I don't know what would have happened if you got on that train.
01:09:53That's one of those what-ifs that are impossible to answer.
01:09:56Well, I think, if I may, that you would have at least given yourself a chance.
01:10:03What?
01:10:06So you just went up to her?
01:10:08Yeah, pretty much.
01:10:09You sly fox!
01:10:11Yeah.
01:10:12She was studying in the library when I first saw her, and I noticed this book on the table.
01:10:16It was the play, Saltwater Moon.
01:10:18So I asked her if she'd read it.
01:10:21And?
01:10:22Well, she said she had.
01:10:23So we talked about the play, and the conversation continued over dinner.
01:10:27And the rest, as they say, is history.
01:10:31That's great.
01:10:32Although I found out afterwards she hadn't actually read the play.
01:10:35Well, neither did I, which made the conversation pretty funny.
01:10:39Some student must have left it behind or something.
01:10:43See, that's fate.
01:10:44What are the odds of that book being on that desk at that particular moment?
01:10:48See, sir, it doesn't matter what you say.
01:10:51See, sir, it doesn't matter what book was on the table.
01:10:53I would have gone up to her anyway.
01:10:55And that's the thing.
01:10:56You've got to make things happen.
01:10:58It's no use sitting around worrying about the what-ifs.
01:11:00You know, after an opportunity's passed, you've got to go for it, right then and there.
01:11:05Everything else is just, well, bullshit.
01:11:08Isn't that right, honey?
01:11:12Thanks.
01:11:13You really help clear things up.
01:11:15I can't tell you how grateful I am.
01:11:17Oh, go on.
01:11:18No, serious.
01:11:19Come here.
01:11:20Come here.
01:11:21Come here.
01:11:22Oh, man.
01:11:24You hold onto this one.
01:11:26He's a keeper.
01:11:50I know.
01:11:51I know.
01:11:52I know.
01:11:53I know.
01:11:54I know.
01:11:55I know.
01:11:56I know.
01:11:57I know.
01:11:58I know.
01:11:59I know.
01:12:00I know.
01:12:01I know.
01:12:02I know.
01:12:03I know.
01:12:04I know.
01:12:05I know.
01:12:06I know.
01:12:07I know.
01:12:08I know.
01:12:09I know.
01:12:10I know.
01:12:11I know.
01:12:12I know.
01:12:13I know.
01:12:14I know.
01:12:15I know.
01:12:16I know.
01:12:17I know.
01:12:18I know.
01:12:19I know.
01:12:20I know.
01:12:21I know.
01:12:22I know.
01:12:23I know.
01:12:24I know.
01:12:25I know.
01:12:26I know.
01:12:27I know.
01:12:28I know.
01:12:29I know.
01:12:30I know.
01:12:31I know.
01:12:32I know.
01:12:33I know.
01:12:34I know.
01:12:35I know.
01:12:36I know.
01:12:37I know.
01:12:38I know.
01:12:39I know.
01:12:40I know.
01:12:41I know.
01:12:42I know.
01:12:43I know.
01:12:44I know.
01:12:45I know.
01:12:46I know.
01:12:47I know.
01:12:48I know.
01:12:49I know.
01:12:50I know.
01:12:51I know.
01:12:52I know.
01:12:53I know.
01:12:54I know.
01:12:55I know.
01:12:56I know.
01:12:57I know.
01:12:58I know.
01:12:59I know.
01:13:00I know.
01:13:01I know.
01:13:02I know.
01:13:03I know.
01:13:04I know.
01:13:05I know.
01:13:06I know.
01:13:07I know.
01:13:08I know.
01:13:09I know.
01:13:10I know.
01:13:11I know.
01:13:12I know.
01:13:13I know.
01:13:14I know.
01:13:15I know.
01:13:16I know.
01:13:17I know.
01:13:18I know.
01:13:19I know.
01:13:20I know.
01:13:21I know.
01:13:22I know.
01:13:23I know.
01:13:24I know.
01:13:25I know.
01:13:26I know.
01:13:27I know.
01:13:28I know.
01:13:29I know.
01:13:30I know.
01:13:31I know.
01:13:32I know.
01:13:33I know.
01:13:34I know.
01:13:35I know.
01:13:36I know.
01:13:37I know.
01:13:38I know.
01:13:39I know.
01:13:40I know.
01:13:41I know.
01:13:42I know.
01:13:43I know.
01:13:44I know.
01:13:45Thank God you haven't left yet.
01:13:49Listen, I know what you're gonna say, but please, I need to get this off my chest.
01:13:52It's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life if I don't at least tell you the way I feel.
01:13:56Listen, I know this is probably really weird for you,
01:13:58and the fact that we met the way we did, me being some pathetic caller to your show,
01:14:01has already stacked a deck against me.
01:14:03But I want you to give us a chance.
01:14:05I mean, forget how we met.
01:14:07I mean, is it any more normal to meet somebody at school, or work, or through friends?
01:14:11Yeah, I guess it is, but does that make it any more right?
01:14:14I mean, there are five billion people on this Earth.
01:14:16The odds of us even meeting are astronomical.
01:14:18I think it's crazy for us to say that it's not the right way to meet.
01:14:21And as far as me running down here like a madman on the day you're leaving,
01:14:24all I can say to you is I swear I've never done anything like this before.
01:14:28And that's because I've never met anybody like you before.
01:14:31Well, we've never really met. I mean, I've never talked to anybody like you before.
01:14:35I mean, I'll get on this bus with you, and we'll start talking.
01:14:38And if we know it's not gonna work, I'll get off at the next stop.
01:14:41But I think we owe it to each other to at least find that out.
01:14:44That way we're not always wondering what could have happened if I got on that bus with you.
01:14:47So that way, one way or another, for better or for worse, we'll know.
01:14:51So what do you say?
01:14:53Who are you?
01:14:56Caesar.
01:14:58Caesar.
01:15:10Listen, I know what you're about to say.
01:15:28And we're walking apart
01:15:31Yeah, we made it in the shade
01:15:36And it's coming again
01:15:40Always
01:15:42All this time
01:15:44All this time
01:15:46You're my kind
01:15:53With your back against the wall
01:15:58Watching, waiting, we're not gonna fall down
01:16:02Many times I feel the same
01:16:07Going back to a place that's changed
01:16:12When you find out who you are
01:16:17Even if it's the one you want
01:16:22All this time
01:16:25All this time
01:16:27You're my kind
01:16:31Here you go, Captain.
01:16:32Hey, thanks.
01:16:33No problem.
01:16:34So she couldn't make it, huh?
01:16:35Yeah, she wanted me to tell you that she had to work.
01:16:37Oh, uh-huh.
01:16:38Yeah, but I'm glad you showed up.
01:16:39Yeah, well, thanks for having me, man.
01:16:40Hey, you know, I want to thank you.
01:16:41For what?
01:16:42Well, for all this, right?
01:16:43I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, if you hadn't given me that advice.
01:16:45Ah, you just needed a good kick in the ass.
01:16:47And no one kicks me in the ass like Jeffrey kicks me in the ass.
01:16:49What are you doing tonight?
01:16:51Kicking you in the ass.
01:16:52Oh, yeah!
01:16:54Makes you feel good
01:16:58When you're fake
01:16:59Where are you?
01:17:00You said you'd be here by one o'clock.
01:17:02Sorry, David wanted to stop off for a bite.
01:17:04Everyone else is already here, you know.
01:17:06We won't be long.
01:17:08Okay, okay, just hurry.
01:17:13Are we late?
01:17:16Don't worry, we have plenty of time.
01:17:18Hang up at all
01:17:21Nothing more than a walk in the park
01:17:26Yeah, we're bathing in the shade
01:17:29So, he goes to the bus station on the day she's leaving, and he asks to go with her.
01:17:33And they never say to her before that?
01:17:35No.
01:17:36Kind of looks like a freak.
01:17:38Yeah, but so should she.
01:17:40I guess they make a good couple.
01:17:41All this time
01:17:43All this time
01:17:46You're my kind
01:17:50All this time
01:17:53All this time
01:17:55You're my kind
01:18:00All this time
01:18:03Look how skinny he is.
01:18:06I bet she isn't even feeding him.
01:18:10All this time
01:18:12All this time
01:18:14I know you're my kind
01:18:19It's a great party.
01:18:21It's a fantastic party.
01:18:22Yeah, it's a fantastic party.
01:18:23It's the best party you've ever been to.
01:18:24Excuse me, honey.
01:18:25What?
01:18:26Honey, I think you've had a bit too much to drink.
01:18:28I'm fine, don't worry about it.
01:18:29Maybe we should just...
01:18:30No, don't tell me nothing what to do.
01:18:32I'm fine already, all right?
01:18:34Why do you always hold me back for, huh?
01:18:36Me either.
01:18:37I followed you all the way here.
01:18:38Why can't you, like, just give me some support, huh?
01:18:41Are you finished?
01:18:42Are you quite finished?
01:18:43Yeah, I'm finished.
01:18:44You finished?
01:18:45Yeah.
01:18:46Just kidding.
01:18:47My time's running out
01:18:49I say I'm already there
01:18:51If my sins were money
01:18:54I'd be a millionaire
01:18:56I want to get old one day
01:18:59And I want...
01:19:00Hey, it's me.
01:19:01Guess who has the whole house to herself.
01:19:04Hey!
01:19:05Listen up, listen up.
01:19:06Hey, listen.
01:19:07Uh, Trent and Carrie couldn't be here today.
01:19:10Uh, they send their love
01:19:11and they also send a party tape.
01:19:13Uh, so they'll be here in spirits.
01:19:18Now the world don't move
01:19:20To the beat of just one drum
01:19:22What might be right for you
01:19:24May not be right for some
01:19:26A man is born
01:19:28He's a man of means
01:19:30Then along come two
01:19:32They got nothing but the genes
01:19:34But they got
01:19:35Different strokes it takes
01:19:37Different strokes it takes
01:19:39Different strokes to move the world
01:19:42Everybody's got a special kind of story
01:19:47Everybody finds a way to shine
01:19:50It don't matter that you got not a lot
01:19:53So what?
01:19:54They'll have theirs
01:19:55And you'll have yours
01:19:56And I'll have mine
01:19:58And together we'll be fine
01:20:00Cause it takes
01:20:01Different strokes to move the world
01:20:03Yes it does
01:20:04It takes
01:20:05Different strokes to move the world
01:20:16Yes it does
01:20:17It takes
01:20:18Different strokes to move the world
01:20:20Yes it does
01:20:21It takes
01:20:22Different strokes to move the world
01:20:24Yes it does
01:20:25It takes
01:20:26Different strokes to move the world
01:20:28Yes it does
01:20:29It takes
01:20:30Different strokes to move the world
01:20:32Yes it does
01:20:33It takes
01:20:34Different strokes to move the world
01:20:36Yes it does
01:20:37It takes
01:20:38Different strokes to move the world
01:20:40Yes it does
01:20:41It takes
01:20:42Different strokes to move the world
01:20:45Yes it does
01:20:46It takes
01:20:47Different strokes to move the world
01:20:48Yes it does
01:20:49It takes
01:20:50Different strokes to move the world
01:20:51Yes it does
01:20:52It takes
01:20:53Different strokes to move the world
01:20:54Yes it does
01:20:55It takes
01:20:56Different strokes to move the world
01:20:57Yes it does
01:20:58It takes
01:20:59Different strokes to move the world
01:21:00Yes it does
01:21:01It takes
01:21:02Different strokes to move the world
01:21:03Yes it does
01:21:04It takes
01:21:05Different strokes to move the world
01:21:06Yes it does
01:21:07It takes
01:21:08Different strokes to move the world
01:21:09Yes it does
01:21:10It takes
01:21:11Different strokes to move the world
01:21:12Yes it does
01:21:13It takes
01:21:14Different strokes to move the world
01:21:15Yes it does
01:21:16It takes
01:21:17Different strokes to move the world
01:21:18Yes it does
01:21:19It takes
01:21:20Different strokes to move the world
01:21:21Yes it does
01:21:22It takes
01:21:23Different strokes to move the world
01:21:24Yes it does
01:21:25It takes
01:21:26Different strokes to move the world
01:21:27Yes it does
01:21:28It takes
01:21:29Different strokes to move the world
01:21:30Yes it does
01:21:31It takes
01:21:32Different strokes to move the world
01:21:33Yes it does
01:21:34It takes
01:21:35Different strokes to move the world
01:21:36Yes it does
01:21:37It takes
01:21:38Different strokes to move the world
01:21:39Yes it does
01:21:40It takes
01:21:41Different strokes to move the world
01:21:42Yes it does
01:21:43It takes
01:21:44Different strokes to move the world
01:21:45Yes it does
01:21:46It takes
01:21:47Different strokes to move the world
01:21:48Yes it does
01:21:49It takes
01:21:50Different strokes to move the world
01:21:51Yes it does
01:21:52It takes
01:21:53Different strokes to move the world
01:21:54Yes it does
01:21:55It takes
01:21:56Different strokes to move the world
01:21:57Yes it does
01:21:58It takes
01:21:59Different strokes to move the world
01:22:00Yes it does
01:22:01It takes
01:22:02Different strokes to move the world
01:22:03Yes it does
01:22:04It takes
01:22:05Different strokes to move the world
01:22:06Yes it does
01:22:07It takes
01:22:08Different strokes to move the world
01:22:09Yes it does
01:22:10It takes
01:22:11Different strokes to move the world
01:22:12Yes it does
01:22:13It takes
01:22:14Different strokes to move the world
01:22:15Yes it does
01:22:16It takes
01:22:17Different strokes to move the world
01:22:18Yes it does
01:22:19It takes
01:22:20Different strokes to move the world
01:22:21Yes it does
01:22:22It takes
01:22:23Different strokes to move the world
01:22:24Yes it does
01:22:25It takes
01:22:26Different strokes to move the world
01:22:27Yes it does
01:22:28It takes
01:22:29Different strokes to move the world
01:22:30Yes it does
01:22:31It takes
01:22:32Different strokes to move the world
01:22:33Yes it does
01:22:34It takes
01:22:35Different strokes to move the world
01:22:36Yes it does
01:22:37It takes
01:22:38Different strokes to move the world
01:22:39Yes it does
01:22:40It takes
01:22:41Different strokes to move the world
01:22:42Yes it does
01:22:43It takes
01:22:44Different strokes to move the world
01:22:45Yes it does
01:22:46It takes
01:22:47Different strokes to move the world
01:22:48Yes it does
01:22:49It takes
01:22:50Different strokes to move the world
01:22:51Yes it does
01:22:52It takes
01:22:53Different strokes to move the world
01:22:54Yes it does
01:22:55It takes
01:22:56Different strokes to move the world
01:22:57Yes it does
01:22:58It takes
01:22:59Different strokes to move the world
01:23:00Yes it does
01:23:01It takes
01:23:02Different strokes to move the world
01:23:03Yes it does
01:23:04It takes
01:23:05Different strokes to move the world
01:23:06Yes it does
01:23:07It takes
01:23:08Different strokes to move the world
01:23:09Yes it does
01:23:10It takes
01:23:11Different strokes to move the world
01:23:12Yes it does
01:23:13It takes
01:23:14Different strokes to move the world
01:23:15Yes it does
01:23:16It takes
01:23:17Different strokes to move the world
01:23:18Yes it does
01:23:19It takes
01:23:20Different strokes to move the world
01:23:21Yes it does
01:23:22It takes
01:23:23Different strokes to move the world
01:23:24Yes it does
01:23:25It takes
01:23:26Different strokes to move the world
01:23:27Yes it does
01:23:28It takes
01:23:29Different strokes to move the world
01:23:30Yes it does
01:23:31It takes
01:23:32Different strokes to move the world
01:23:33Yes it does
01:23:34It takes
01:23:35Different strokes to move the world
01:23:36Yes it does
01:23:37It takes
01:23:38Different strokes to move the world
01:23:39Yes it does
01:23:40It takes
01:23:41Different strokes to move the world
01:23:42Yes it does
01:23:43It takes
01:23:44Different strokes to move the world
01:23:45Yes it does
01:23:46It takes
01:23:47Different strokes to move the world
01:23:48Yes it does
01:23:49It takes
01:23:50Different strokes to move the world
01:23:51Yes it does
01:23:52It takes
01:23:53Different strokes to move the world
01:23:54Yes it does
01:23:55It takes
01:23:56Different strokes to move the world
01:23:57Yes it does
01:23:58It takes
01:23:59Different strokes to move the world
01:24:00Yes it does
01:24:01It takes
01:24:02Different strokes to move the world
01:24:03Yes it does
01:24:04It takes
01:24:05Different strokes to move the world
01:24:06Yes it does
01:24:07It takes
01:24:08Different strokes to move the world
01:24:09Yes it does
01:24:10It takes
01:24:11Different strokes to move the world
01:24:12Yes it does
01:24:13It takes
01:24:14Different strokes to move the world
01:24:15Yes it does
01:24:16It takes
01:24:17Different strokes to move the world
01:24:18Yes it does
01:24:19It takes
01:24:20Different strokes to move the world
01:24:21Yes it does
01:24:22It takes
01:24:23Different strokes to move the world
01:24:24Yes it does
01:24:25It takes
01:24:26Different strokes to move the world
01:24:27Yes it does
01:24:28It takes
01:24:29Different strokes to move the world
01:24:30Yes it does
01:24:31It takes
01:24:32Different strokes to move the world
01:24:33Yes it does
01:24:34It takes
01:24:35Different strokes to move the world
01:24:36Yes it does
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