00:00 Hi Smart Parenting fam! I'm Ronna Capilibon Efacial, Editor-in-Chief of Smart Parenting.
00:05 Is it true that you are curious like me about positive parenting?
00:09 And do you have a lot of questions about the sleep of your baby?
00:12 Joining us today is Smart Parenting Board of Experts member,
00:15 Positive Parenting and Baby Sleep Expert, Rhea Campos Lopez,
00:19 who's going to answer our questions about positive parenting and baby sleep.
00:25 Positive parenting is just about allowing the child to do anything and just saying positive things.
00:30 Is it true? Totally not true.
00:33 In positive parenting, we're talking about building a positive relation with our child.
00:38 A strong relationship based on trust and understanding and mutual respect.
00:43 However, that does not mean our child is allowed to do everything and anything they want, right?
00:49 We still have limits and boundaries for respecting our home, respecting people, respecting others.
00:55 And we need to ensure that our child understands these things so that they can follow through with it.
01:02 So if our child does something wrong, misbehaves, right?
01:06 It doesn't mean that I'll just say, "Okay, anak, that was very good."
01:10 No, when our child misbehaves or does something wrong,
01:14 we take that moment as a teaching moment and we explain rather than,
01:19 "Ano ba? What was that? Stop it!"
01:21 Right? Instead of just saying, "Stop it."
01:23 Let's say, example, "Stop running in the house! Stop running!"
01:27 Instead of just shouting and saying, telling our child to stop running,
01:30 we'd like to tell them, "Anak, we're in the house. We need to move slowly. We need to walk."
01:36 So that's a big shift, right?
01:38 Telling them what they can do, explaining it calmly,
01:42 and hopefully telling them that before the running starts.
01:45 So again, positive parenting is being proactive.
01:48 So there are a lot of limits and boundaries, and our children will still be disciplined.
01:54 It's just in the manner of delivering it and giving them time to understand and learn.
01:59 Ah, so that's how it is.
02:01 It doesn't mean in positive parenting that the child is not taught what's right and what's wrong.
02:08 Walang grit o hindi magiging independent ang bata na puro positive parenting lang ang nareceive niya.
02:15 Totoo ba? No, this is also not true, right?
02:19 Again, I think we get thrown by the word positive.
02:23 Just because our child does not want to do something because it's difficult,
02:28 we are not permissive parents and we don't say,
02:30 "Ay, okay anak, it's too hard. Sige, never mind. Wag mo nang gawin 'yan."
02:34 No, it's actually the opposite.
02:36 If our child is having a hard time, for example, with something in school,
02:40 my child is having a hard time in math, and my child says,
02:43 "Ma'am, ayaw ko na mag-math homework."
02:45 I will not say, "Ay, okay anak, masyado mahilap. Never mind. Let's move on na."
02:50 No. If my child is having a hard time in math, my approach would be to ask,
02:55 "Okay anak, so what do you find hard in math?"
02:58 And we have that dialogue, and he will explain.
03:00 And then we'll say, "Okay, can we figure out a way to solve this problem?"
03:05 And so instead of being, I would say, complainers or quitters,
03:09 we actually want to teach our children to be problem solvers and investigators,
03:14 and together with them, we can find solutions to the problem.
03:18 So in fact, it does build resilience, it does build grit,
03:22 and moving forward, it will build independence when they have their problem-solving skill.
03:27 Ria is right. A lot of us are confused with the word "positive"
03:32 because we think that only positive things are heard by children when we choose positive therapy.
03:39 "Sandali lang matulog ang baby ko. Mapanap o kahit sa gabi. Ganun lang talaga siya. Hindi matakaw sa tulog."
03:47 Totoo ba? Our babies need a lot of sleep, okay?
03:52 So generally, for all children, we want them to sleep 10 to 12 hours at night,
03:58 and depending on the age of the baby, we need them to nap in the day as well.
04:03 So usually, what happens is when our children don't get enough sleep, or kulang sila sa tulog,
04:10 it actually looks like they're hyper, and go-go-go sila.
04:14 So some parents will say, "Ah, okay lang. My child is still active. Hindi pa yang kailangan ng tulog."
04:20 But our child's body is running on adrenaline.
04:23 So it's our job as the parents to say, "Oops. That's a lot of activity. I need my child to sleep."
04:30 And then we set the environment for them. We have a bedtime, and we turn off the lights,
04:35 and we make sure they sleep enough.
04:37 And funnily enough, the better the naps are, or the better they sleep during the day and during the night,
04:44 the better the quality of their sleep will be moving forward.
04:47 So it's the opposite. If they don't sleep well, they will continue not to sleep well.
04:52 So people think, "Kasi if I tell my child, 'O sige, 'wag mo na 'yan ipanap,' or 'O, sleep late na,'
04:58 that mas mahimding yung tulog nila, it doesn't happen. The later the bedtime, mas mahirap pa tulog yan."
05:04 So an early bedtime and naps at the right time, according to your child's age, are very important.
05:10 O alam nyo na, SP Pam, hindi ibig sabihin na pag hyper ang bata, hindi pa siya pagod.
05:16 Baka nga kaya siya hyper, dahil kailangan niya pa ng tulog.
05:20 And that's it for today's video. If you have more questions for our Board of Experts, just comment them down below.
05:26 And for more videos from Smart Parenting, don't forget to like and subscribe to our YouTube channel.
05:31 [Music]
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