00:00You know when you pee, and then you put it back in your underwear, and then
00:07there's sometimes like one drop or two? Never. Okay, well I have a leaky pipe, so.
00:17Morning everyone. Hi. Are you a good liar? No. I mean, well, no. No. I think we're all lying.
00:27I think it means very good lines. Yeah. Let's find out.
00:33I'll go first. Tell your best audition story. Okay. I got offered a part, and I was like,
00:43oh, this is a director I want to work with. Great. And then like a few weeks later, they
00:47were like, hey, they want you to audition. I was like, wasn't that an offer? I'm like,
00:51going to go back and check the email out. And I was like, it said offer, right? And they
00:55like, yeah, it was an offer, but they just want to make sure. And I was like, okay. Went
00:59in, did the audition. And then the director was like, hey, will you improvise a traumatic
01:06event from the character's childhood? And I did. Very traumatic event. Improvised. They
01:14were stunned, silent in the room. Didn't get the part. Auditioned for a part that I was
01:19offered and didn't get it. I think that's true. Because you told me he didn't start.
01:26Wait, but I also heard the story, but I didn't hear the, I heard the story, but he didn't
01:31tell me the whole part. The improvising bit? Yeah. So I thought that part was a lot. The
01:35improvising bit was the most painful part. Oh gosh. Oh gosh, indeed. It's all right. I'm over
01:42right now. In your new film, you play bank robbers. Tell me a time you stole something
01:47off set. Okay. Um, I was on a show and there were a couple of things that I wanted from
01:56the
01:57show. And so I obviously asked the people, costume designer props and you know, everyone,
02:03which items I wanted from every department. And the props department didn't give me a yes.
02:10They were like, Oh, we'll ask. But they never gave it to me. So I snuck it off set.
02:16What was it? Yeah. It was a cross. A cross. Yes. A necklace. True. I think probably true.
02:27It's a lie. No. Oh, that was good. Yeah. You liar. Yeah. What was true about it?
02:34They gave it to me. Oh, they just gave it to you? Yeah. I didn't steal it. Oh. God damn.
02:38Okay.
02:39So you are a good liar. Yeah. What's the most ridiculous law you told to get out of something?
02:45Uh, I was working on this, uh, movie co-star lovely guy, but like a lot and, uh, invited me
02:54out to dinner
02:55with one of his friends and his friend also a lot. And, uh, I was so bored and overstimulated that
03:04I
03:05told them I my pants. And then I did a, uh, a waddle like out of the restaurant. And I
03:12was like,
03:12I'm so sorry guys. I fully crapped my pants. I have to go. And he was like, Oh my God.
03:17Like,
03:17yeah, get out of here. I was like, see ya. Sorry. I was like, I'll see you on set tomorrow.
03:23It gets live. It's true. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The best part was the waddle. And then I was like,
03:30you're such a good actor. Yeah. But imagine how painful someone has to be to be like,
03:36I'm dookied my pants. Yeah. Who was it?
03:42What was the wildest thing you ever did to impress a crush? There was a girl I fancied, um,
03:48at school. We were doing a play together. And after school, we'd gone,
03:52got into town to get lunch. And then I climbed to the top of a lamp post
03:58and hung upside down for my knees to pretend to be a bat.
04:05Because I don't know why. I just thought it was perhaps.
04:10Really? Yeah.
04:13It's a lie. I had nothing. I wanted, I wanted that to be true.
04:17I don't know where I was going with it. I wanted that so badly to be true.
04:19Yeah, it should have been true. It's kind of ridiculous.
04:22It's so stupid that I thought it was true.
04:24It's kind of. You know what I mean?
04:25I don't know why that would have been impressive.
04:29I get a point.
04:31What's a piece of advice you once got that stuck with you?
04:37That stuck with me. I'm thinking of the advice you gave me.
04:41That was good advice. True.
04:45Oh, you know what? Yes.
04:47When I was working with, you know, a group of people,
04:51I was worried about one of the girls. And I asked my manager,
04:58she doing okay. And well, he said, yeah, she's doing fine because she says yes to everything.
05:03And his advice was for me to say yes to everything. It stuck with me in a negative way.
05:09I think that's bad advice.
05:10Say yes to any job?
05:12No, just say yes. Like whatever they tell me to do, I say yes.
05:15I think that's bad advice.
05:16Yeah. But may be true.
05:18I'm going to say it's a lie.
05:20It's true.
05:21I suck at this game. I hate this game so much.
05:24Come on, we're having fun.
05:25I hate it. I must win.
05:28What are your worst SNL sketch pitch?
05:32I had this sketch idea for, you know, when you, it's more for guys.
05:36You know, when you pee and then you put, you put it back in your underwear.
05:43And then there's sometimes like one drop or two.
05:47Never.
05:48Okay. Well, I have a leaky pipe.
05:50So my pitch was to invent a tiny cloth tip that goes on the tip of your wiener after you
06:00pee
06:00to absorb the extra drop or two so it doesn't get into your underwear.
06:06And where does this cloth tip live?
06:08It's in your pocket.
06:10And then after you pee, you willy handkerchief.
06:12Yes. So you picture your helmet and then this tiny little cloth.
06:16And then you just bring your helmet.
06:17Yeah. You picture my helmet.
06:18And then it's, it's almost like a shower cap for your pee pee head.
06:22And this was, oh, it's a cap.
06:23This was a, this was a sketch slash.
06:25I also think it's a phenomenal idea.
06:27So it's not a handkerchief.
06:28No, it's a penis tip chip chip.
06:31It's a tiny handkerchief for your wiener tip.
06:34And I pitched this dead seriously along with another sketch called snortable vitamins for drug addicts.
06:44Because if you snort healthy stuff, snortables.
06:50Yeah, it's all true.
06:52True.
06:53True.
06:53Yeah.
06:54I'm willing to invest in this company.
06:55Snortables?
06:56Is it afraid?
06:56No, no, no, no, the willy handkerchief.
06:57Oh, the willy handkerchief.
06:58Yeah.
06:59Yeah, yeah.
06:59I think snortables is a terrible idea.
07:00The willy handkerchief is good.
07:02What was the reaction to that sketch pitch?
07:05The reaction to that sketch pitch?
07:06Yeah, did Lauren give you a name?
07:07He just went like this.
07:10And then he turned to someone else and said their name and was like, what's your idea?
07:14Like, he didn't say anything, which just says a lot.
07:18Maybe it was too close to home for him.
07:20Yeah.
07:21I know you're all, you know, you're super well oiled machine, but some of us have leaky tips, okay?
07:27I just think the handkerchief.
07:28Just a helmet kerchief.
07:30Yeah.
07:30It's like putting a little, like when it's winter, you put a little.
07:34I think you want it hanging close by on like a key chain, like an old pocket watch.
07:37Well, then it would get dirty.
07:38You got to put it in the little pocket.
07:40Yeah.
07:41And then, you know, at the urinal, you know, I stand by it, dude.
07:47Yeah.
07:49You wait, you wait, you're going to sit around one day and see that infomercial and be like,
07:54I really slept on that idea.
07:56Be like, damn, Mr. Allen ring doorbell.
08:00And now this.
08:02Can I go?
08:03Yeah.
08:04Do you believe completely?
08:07Oh, okay.
08:08Tell me about a time you did something amazing, but no one was there to see it.
08:12Oh, that's a good one.
08:16I was horse training for work and we were just doing, like I'd never ridden a horse.
08:24So we were just doing everything from the basic stuff.
08:27And they, you know how they have the little thing that you can jump over.
08:31I was, I wasn't training to do that.
08:34But when I was like balloping with the horse, the horse just jumped it.
08:38But no one was really there like properly videotaping it.
08:41So I have no proof.
08:43That's true.
08:44True.
08:45That's awesome.
08:46Whoa.
08:47See, you said you were the worst at it.
08:48You're crushing.
08:49I had time to think.
08:50You're crushing.
08:51Damn.
08:52She's winning, right?
08:54What's the most unusual skill you've had to learn for a role?
08:58You would be my friend.
09:01Well, OK, so I voiced a rabbit for an animated thing.
09:05So I had to learn how to speak like a rabbit.
09:08And be a rabbit.
09:08And be a rabbit.
09:09So we were, me and the rest of the cast, like four or five of us,
09:12had to meet up for these workshops before we began.
09:14It was all in English.
09:15But beforehand, we like as part of, I don't know, bonding slash.
09:25I haven't finished yet.
09:26You got to learn how to be a rabbit.
09:28Yeah.
09:29For an animated movie?
09:30Yeah.
09:31No way, dude.
09:31OK, well, yeah, it's a lie.
09:33Yeah, of course.
09:33I was just trying to get into the game a little bit.
09:35Yeah.
09:36Sorry, dude.
09:37You know, I didn't get to the funniest bit of the story.
09:39What is it?
09:40No, it doesn't matter.
09:40OK, it's a lie.
09:42You said you'd rain throw me.
09:46Have you ever pretended to know someone famous and got caught?
09:51Oh, well, I have an adjacent answer.
09:54It's like a question that's sort of similar.
09:56I go to Flushing.
09:58You go, like, get dumplings in Queens.
10:01I went into this restaurant and the waiter thought that I was Steve-O from Jackass.
10:11And then I went along with it and then took pictures with all of the staff and they kept
10:16saying, that's Steve-O, that's Steve-O.
10:24That's true.
10:26Really?
10:27It's good.
10:28It's good.
10:28How were the dumplings?
10:29Phenomenal.
10:31I'm the winner.
10:32Congratulations.
10:33Are you proud to be the best liar?
10:35I'm proud that I can do something that I thought I couldn't.
10:37I promise no, it's a lie to me.
10:39Yeah, I'll never lie to you guys.
10:41Ever.
10:42I will.
10:45Thank you so, so much for having us.
10:47We've been Anna, Nick, and Pete for How to Rob a Bank and Entertainment Weekly's Truth or Lie.
10:55All right.
10:57All usable.
