00:00You kind of think everything is going well until you just get cut off and it's
00:08the worst thing ever. Ghosting to me is when you just go completely missing on
00:13someone. Cut off any kind of communication. Simply disappear out of
00:17someone's life into thin air. Just like a clear cut. It's kind of inconsiderate but
00:22sometimes you just have to do it. I don't feel like I've ever ghosted anybody.
00:25Yes, I have absolutely ghosted someone before and they deserved it. I've been
00:30ghosted once and it was awful. I have ghosted someone before. I've ghosted a
00:34few people before but only one I'm like ashamed of. I've never been ghosted but
00:39it would hurt me for sure. Anyone that I usually ghost, I'm usually pretty
00:46positive that I want them gone. The girl that ghosted me, I found out that she
00:51had a girlfriend. I don't necessarily think ghosting is a bad thing. I think the
00:55people that I'm not ashamed that I ghosted, it's like y'all knew what that
00:58was. There's like this big idea of like oh you don't owe anyone anything and a lot
01:03of the time people take that as okay like I don't have to explain myself which is
01:09really damaging. Black women absolutely deserve to exit out of a relationship
01:14whenever they feel like it only because we are always the ones that have to do the
01:20whole ride or die situation. Like I'm not a ride or die. Where are we going and why
01:25do I have to die? Black women have been subjected to staying around in a lot of
01:32toxic relationships. I think ultimately it comes in putting ourselves first. I
01:36actually don't think that black women are allowed the same freedoms. I think for us
01:40inherently like everyone always feels very entitled to our time, our feelings,
01:44we're supposed to mother everybody. And so for you to ghost someone, I actually like it
01:49because I think it's selfish. You put you first and you took accountability and
01:52maybe a way that didn't make someone else feel comfortable but like that because
01:55you're worried about your own self-care. So I'm actually for black women ghosting
02:00now that we talk about it. It's like no, I'm not feeling this. It's not working out. I
02:06don't want to stay around to see how long it's not gonna work out. Let's just cut it
02:11and let it go. Now if I'm dating somebody for like six months, I'm not gonna ghost them but
02:16if I'm talking to somebody for like two weeks and I just don't want to be bothered,
02:20then cool. That's I mean I think that's totally acceptable. I think whether or not
02:24ghosting is inappropriate depends on the level of the relationship. Maybe six
02:29months plus no ghosting. I think people ghost because one there's a level of like
02:35having to take responsibility or accountability for your actions that like
02:39maybe you don't don't want to do but I also think that like sometimes maybe
02:43someone has done something to you and instead of you rehashing it it's just
02:47simply easier to just like disappear which I don't necessarily think is
02:50better but I get it. So I feel like there's multiple reasons why people ghost
02:56but I also feel like there's a reason there's a way you can not have to do that.
03:01I think that's why ghosting is so disgusting even though I have done it
03:06before. It's gross because you kind of think everything is going well until you just
03:11get cut off and it's the worst thing ever. I don't think ghosting should be done
03:18at all like I think maybe if you're put in a situation where you're in danger and
03:25you absolutely have to go if you fear that the person is not gonna take it well
03:30they're gonna lash out on you then you can dip but other than that if you're if you
03:36feel safe you just have to confront those feelings. I don't think all when you
03:41ghost somebody all the time it's negative they may have not done anything
03:45at all but you may just be in a space where you don't want to be bothered and
03:48that's fine.
