00:00Now, there are just some things that are pertinent to all black girls, and by no means are all black
00:04girls the same,
00:05but there are some key things that all black girls alike will hear and be able to identify with.
00:11Now, these things right here are going to get my black girl card revoked.
00:17I don't eat watermelon. I can't play spades.
00:21I can't play any card game but Uno and go fish.
00:23And you know who can't sit at the adult table because she can't play spades? Me.
00:27I cannot dance. I'm a terrible dancer. I dance anyway because I don't be giving a s**t.
00:33Olay, take it in New Year? Who don't take it in New Year?
00:35I have never bought myself a pair of Jordans, but a man bought me Jordans one time.
00:39He took them back after he broke up, but he was petty.
00:44I have never seen color purple.
00:49I respect Beyonce as a black woman, but I am not in the beehive, and I don't want to be.
00:55I'm sorry. You're not supposed to come for the legends, and she, she's up there, but.
01:00So, hold on to your wigs, but I don't like, shout it.
01:03Oh, I've never had beads in my hair either. My mom didn't like the noise that they made.
01:06It was like the, the, she didn't like that.
01:09I cannot braid. I mean, I can braid.
01:11I can do a mean rap and wash and set though.
01:14Oh, I cannot double duck.
01:15Because I would try to find like, I can turn, I can turn, and then I would be revealed very
01:21quickly.
01:21And it's like, she's double, you're double handed, you gotta go.
01:24But, on the other side, things that make me super black, I know the black national anthem.
01:29I can electroslide, I can wobble, I can cupid shuffle.
01:32I always had black dolls, Marcia, don't play them games, don't bring home no white baby to me.
01:37I do not let dogs lick me in the mouth.
01:43Paid in Full is my favorite movie.
01:45I know it line for line because, I'm broke baby, like, I don't got no money for you.
01:50I have never gone to sleep and just like, not done anything to my hair.
01:53This hair cannot like, lay on anything without a bonnet, or a scarf, or a durag.
01:59My man knows that, my friends know that, that's it.
02:02I will never let my edges be not slaves.
02:07I'm black, like, what do y'all want from me?
02:09My grandmother, when I would go stay with her during the summers, would like, rub me down in olive oil
02:13after the bath.
02:14My family is from Selma, Alabama.
02:17It doesn't get much blacker than me, unless you're from Mississippi.
02:20Top three favorite black couples, Beyonce and Jay Z.
02:23I'm so sorry to be basic, but like, I have to.
02:27Megan Goode and Devon Franklin.
02:29Iconic couples to me are also like, Ace and Keisha.
02:32Obviously, Brock and Michelle.
02:34If you didn't know, I am a Baker Pinkett Carter.
02:38Oh, you know how black I am?
02:40My first purse was a Crown Royal bag.
02:42Top three liquors.
02:44I like Hennessy, but you know, now we're on to Ducey.
02:47So, I will only drink Hennessy if Ducey is not available, because we're buying black now, and Jay Z co
02:53-signed it.
02:54Lip Mommy Soads love the Hennessy.
02:56Okay, Hennessy ain't never did me wrong.
02:57Very clearly, I do not like Hennessy.
03:00Don't bring it to my house party.
03:01It's not being drank at my wedding.
03:03It's not going to be at any of my barbecues.
03:05When Hennessy is involved, I should not be.
03:07Oh, this might get my black heart taken.
03:11I don't really like Biggie as a rapper.
03:16Can I do, like, pre-Kim Kardashian Kanye?
03:20Jay Z.
03:21Jay Z. Okay, no.
03:22Jay Z.
03:22I'ma throw Kendrick in there.
03:24I'ma throw Drake in there.
03:26Hear me out.
03:27I feel like he spoke his death into existence.
03:30I'm very big on, like, manifestation and speaking life over yourself and into things.
03:35And I just don't think it's appropriate to have been talking about death for as long as he did.
03:40So, there's that.
03:42Mmm, fine black men.
03:45There's so much.
03:46Black men are so fine.
03:48But my daddies?
03:49If I walked out this room and Kofi Siribo was, like, standing by the door, jaw would be on the
03:58floor.
03:58Understand that.
03:59Jaw and panties down.
04:01Like, what's up?
04:01How you doing?
04:02Where have you been my whole life?
04:03Common.
04:04Boris Kojo.
04:05Since Boris and Common, like, could switch in and out, I would take one for weekdays and one for weekends.
04:12Mack Wild.
04:13That's my man.
04:13To be honest, I feel like the only thing that should really get your black card revoked is if you
04:18just, like,
04:19are a black woman and you don't realize how fucking lit it is.
04:23Hi, I'm Channing and I'm a black woman.
04:26Hey guys, I'm Siderana and I am a black girl.
04:29My name is Larisse and I'm a black woman.
04:32I'm Nikki and I'm a black woman.
04:35I'm Raven and I'm black.
04:37That's it.
