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coffee's poured, and here's the detail in Worth the Chase that undid me, and it's an envelope.
She keeps it in a drawer. Not hidden, exactly — just in a place nobody looks, under the usual clutter. We see it four times across the series, and each time she doesn't open it.
Then one night she does. The camera stays on her hands, and the show doesn't show you what's inside. It doesn't have to. You've known since episode one.
I've had a drawer like that. Most people have. The thing you keep because throwing it away would be a decision.
✨ What worked for me:
- The envelope is never explained. Not once.
- No flashback when she opens it. That's restraint.
✨ Bottom line: a quiet drama about the things people file instead of feeling.
What's in your drawer?
— CR, your coffee-break drama ☕
#WorthTheChase, #AllAges, #HiddenFeelings, #FriendsToLovers, #ReelShort
📺Click ReelShort site link to watch 🔖https://www.reelshort.com/full-episodes/worth-the-chase-6aac8371968c52e4da007358
📢Notice: coffee-reels-movie is an officially authorized publisher of ReelShort content.
coffee's poured, and here's the detail in Worth the Chase that undid me, and it's an envelope.
She keeps it in a drawer. Not hidden, exactly — just in a place nobody looks, under the usual clutter. We see it four times across the series, and each time she doesn't open it.
Then one night she does. The camera stays on her hands, and the show doesn't show you what's inside. It doesn't have to. You've known since episode one.
I've had a drawer like that. Most people have. The thing you keep because throwing it away would be a decision.
✨ What worked for me:
- The envelope is never explained. Not once.
- No flashback when she opens it. That's restraint.
✨ Bottom line: a quiet drama about the things people file instead of feeling.
What's in your drawer?
— CR, your coffee-break drama ☕
#WorthTheChase, #AllAges, #HiddenFeelings, #FriendsToLovers, #ReelShort
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:05I
00:00:06What the hell? I
00:00:08Thought you liked me
00:00:09But you wanted this you thought wrong. I could never be with a loser like you
00:00:15Bullshit. I have known you since we were seven. I know when you're lying. You don't know me. I
00:00:21Want to be with a real star. That's that's Jonah
00:00:25You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is
00:00:32I
00:00:32Can see you know, I thought you cared about me
00:00:36I guess I had your back room
00:00:39I
00:00:42Didn't think you had that kind of spice in your collards. Yeah, where were we?
00:00:49Oh, what the fuck? Wait a minute. Are the rumors true? Are you actually pregnant?
00:00:56Oh
00:00:58You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me
00:01:00You trashy psycho bitch
00:01:03Carson's dodged a bomb
00:01:09That day
00:01:11My final act of love for my best friend
00:01:14Was convincing him I hated him
00:01:17So he'd never come looking for me again
00:01:20But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be
00:01:31Oh
00:01:31Let me in please
00:01:33Carson
00:01:34Drunk on a Monday night
00:01:37God
00:01:38Seriously, how do you want?
00:01:51Yeah
00:01:52What the hell?
00:01:54Put that away
00:01:55I don't want to see my best friends
00:01:57You know
00:01:58What?
00:01:59Carson?
00:02:00Baby?
00:02:01Where are you?
00:02:03Call the horse, call the horse
00:02:04Yeah
00:02:05No, it's okay
00:02:06No, don't
00:02:06Why are you invoking the secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:02:14You know that's actually for like, life or death situations
00:02:17Ex-girlfriend and this is serious, we're going to strip your opinion that you freaking ambushed on me
00:02:22You know how I get when we don't fuck
00:02:29Open this door now, do not keep your girlfriend waiting
00:02:51I swear to god, I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up
00:03:02Oh
00:03:05Hi Lily
00:03:07My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll
00:03:11I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here
00:03:15He's, he's oral, over at his house
00:03:20Are you having a stroke?
00:03:22Why so nervous, Collins?
00:03:24Could it be that you...
00:03:27Um, uh, I was talking to him on FaceTime
00:03:31And it was on speakerphone, that's probably why you heard him
00:03:35He was saying how he can't wait to have the se- have sex
00:03:41Have sex with you
00:03:44Glad you know your place, bitch
00:03:49I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you
00:03:56You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of relying on
00:04:01Or under, I mean
00:04:03Get out, get out, get out
00:04:07Uh, you know, I still don't know why you...
00:04:13Since when have I, your best friend of a million years ever made you nervous
00:04:17You barely made it through that
00:04:22Hey!
00:04:23That's my...
00:04:23I put my...
00:04:24I put my belt on that
00:04:26I...
00:04:27I...
00:04:27Just...
00:04:28Put this on
00:04:35I got this
00:04:37Damn, he looks hot in those
00:04:41Well, it, uh, it worked, didn't it?
00:04:44You're welcome
00:04:45Yes, you're amazing
00:04:46I'm Tom
00:04:52Oh, God, I...
00:04:57I can't believe I just saw my first penis
00:05:00It was yours
00:05:04Thoughts?
00:05:05Because personally, I enjoyed what I saw down in your penis
00:05:09Carson, did you...
00:05:10Did you really just say that?
00:05:12Ryan
00:05:14Come on
00:05:15Answer
00:05:16Or...
00:05:17Or you can just tell me to leave
00:05:18But you're not exactly doing that either
00:05:21It...
00:05:21It's...
00:05:23It's...
00:05:23Leave
00:05:24And you need to...
00:05:25Nice
00:05:28It's...
00:05:28Nice
00:05:29And you need to leave
00:05:30So you think it's nice
00:05:33Ryan Collins, that is...
00:05:35Bold
00:05:35You just admitted that my penis is nice
00:05:38Shut up
00:05:41Just to be clear
00:05:43You want me to leave
00:05:45Even though you think
00:05:46That I am being very nice
00:05:50Stop
00:05:51Oh, God
00:05:52want me to leave
00:05:59Is that...
00:06:20I'm a monarch
00:06:21That I am
00:06:22To be in a place
00:06:23Please.
00:06:24Please.
00:06:25Of course not.
00:06:26We-we can't.
00:06:29Why not?
00:06:30Because you're a little drunk,
00:06:32and you're hiding from your evil, psycho baby ex-girlfriend,
00:06:37and you're a big football star,
00:06:39and I'm just your dorky best friend,
00:06:40and there's no way that you seriously want me.
00:06:42I like you, Gons.
00:06:46I'm very serious about how much I like you.
00:06:49Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if...
00:06:53there was something more?
00:06:56Only every day since I was seven.
00:06:59I've even thought about him being my first,
00:07:02but I never thought it could actually happen.
00:07:05Maybe.
00:07:18Maybe.
00:07:19Maybe.
00:07:20Holy shit, Gons.
00:07:23I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:07:38I've never done this before.
00:07:40I know.
00:07:44I promise I'll take care of you.
00:08:12Did I really just lose my virginity to my best friend?
00:08:21How'd you run to practice? Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:08:30I've loved Carson as long as I can remember. Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:08:38After the semester, he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:08:41If he wants something more, he's probably going to ask now.
00:08:56So, about last night?
00:09:00Oh God. Does he regret it?
00:09:04Yeah, about last night. Look, if you think it was a mistake...
00:09:09A mistake?
00:09:12Collins, you can never be a mistake.
00:09:13Well, you were really drunk and it's probably obvious that I've liked you forever and I just didn't know if
00:09:21you want to be more than this.
00:09:25What did you just say?
00:09:27I said I want to be more than friends.
00:09:30I like you.
00:09:32Collins.
00:09:33For real.
00:09:34I like you too, Carson.
00:09:37It's just...
00:09:38What if this changes things between us?
00:09:41I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:09:44Mom.
00:09:45Mom, we've still got a few months since I leave.
00:09:50We can take it slow.
00:10:07I've wanted him since forever.
00:10:09And now he's finally mine.
00:10:14So, what? Your period's three weeks late and you've been throwing up every day.
00:10:18That doesn't mean jack squat.
00:10:24Positive.
00:10:29How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:10:34I don't know.
00:10:35But you have to, right? He's leaving soon.
00:10:52Dude, it's so obvious that you're with for Ryan.
00:10:55Since the moment that we were kids on a playground, man.
00:10:59You know, I guess I just never really thought that you'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:11:07I know I have to leave sooner than I thought, but am I going away party? I'm going to finally
00:11:11ask her.
00:11:13She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:11:24Watch it, Argo.
00:11:25You can't even walk straight.
00:11:31No.
00:11:38Oh, my God.
00:11:40Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:11:44Oh, but who's going to guard the bridge?
00:11:46Pregnant?
00:11:47Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:11:49Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:11:53Give that back.
00:11:54I will.
00:11:55When you tell me who your baby daddy is.
00:11:57I can't tell her the baby's Carson's.
00:12:00Her ex?
00:12:01She would kill me.
00:12:05Oh, my God.
00:12:07You don't even remember?
00:12:08You're such a slut.
00:12:10You.
00:12:11I'm going to call you Ghana Ryan.
00:12:15Maybe you should get tested for STD's dress.
00:12:18It's one test you'll actually pass.
00:12:23For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch, but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:12:28I've got some girls.
00:12:30Expose her, Lily.
00:12:31Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:12:40Not much.
00:12:42Oh, but don't worry.
00:12:43Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:12:47Ew.
00:12:47So trashy.
00:12:50Oh, are you crying?
00:12:52Is it because your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:12:55Well, newsflash.
00:12:56He's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:13:00What?
00:13:00No.
00:13:01No, no.
00:13:02He's staying right here in North Gordon.
00:13:04Oh.
00:13:05You don't know.
00:13:06He's training with the NFL champions.
00:13:08He's going to be gone the whole fall semester and the whole summer.
00:13:12I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:13:15She just sucks up all the air.
00:13:17Daddy.
00:13:18Oh, summer.
00:13:20Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
00:13:24Not like you'd even stand a chance.
00:13:26Yeah.
00:13:27Have you seen NFL wags?
00:13:28Perfect tits, perfect tents.
00:13:31You're already bloating.
00:13:32Oh my god.
00:13:33Imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:13:37Just drop out, Ryan.
00:13:43Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players and here I am.
00:13:54Love is bright.
00:13:55If I distract Carson with this baby, I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:14:02I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:14:08I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:14:09Your father can never find out about you.
00:14:13He needs to leave and never come back.
00:14:17Woo!
00:14:18Come on!
00:14:20Let's go!
00:14:22To Carson!
00:14:26The youngest player in history to train with NFL teams.
00:14:31Yeah, Lee.
00:14:32Your career is like set, man.
00:14:34How does it feel?
00:14:35Speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed.
00:14:39I'm not right, I'm not right.
00:14:40Woo!
00:14:42Of course, I wouldn't be here without my team.
00:14:45Woo!
00:14:46But I also owe this win to my best friend.
00:14:51Ryan Collins.
00:14:52You've stood by my side since all the kids.
00:14:56For every win, every loss, every stupid dream I've ever had.
00:15:04Carson.
00:15:07Carson.
00:15:09What happened?
00:15:11Talk to me.
00:15:13Sleep.
00:15:15I freaking had one job.
00:15:17To throw the ball.
00:15:20And I blew it.
00:15:22Everybody's counting on me, I blew it.
00:15:25I blew it because I'm an idiot.
00:15:28No.
00:15:28Hey, breathe.
00:15:29Carson.
00:15:30Breathe.
00:15:31Hey.
00:15:32You're the youngest captain in our school's history.
00:15:36You are perfect.
00:15:3899% of the time.
00:15:42On and off.
00:15:44Yeah.
00:15:49You're not embarrassed.
00:15:52Everybody's going to bore me.
00:15:53I blew the homecoming game.
00:15:55You're my best friend, stupid.
00:15:57I mean, yeah, sure, you're going to make it to the NFL one day.
00:16:00But I'd still be best friends with you, even if you were the water boy.
00:16:14That night, you said we were best friends.
00:16:19Ryan, I want to be so much more than that.
00:16:22There's no doubt.
00:16:24No question in my mind.
00:16:27Well, except for one.
00:16:30Oh, shit.
00:16:35Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
00:16:40Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
00:16:45I'm so sorry, Carson.
00:16:48You're my best friend.
00:16:50That's why I'm doing this.
00:16:54Oh, God.
00:16:55Oh, God.
00:16:56Oh, God.
00:16:57Oh, God.
00:16:58Oh, God.
00:16:58Oh, God.
00:17:00Oh, God.
00:17:00Oh, God.
00:17:02Ryan, what the hell?
00:17:04I thought you liked me.
00:17:06I thought you wanted this.
00:17:08You thought wrong.
00:17:09I could never be with a loser like you.
00:17:11That's bullshit.
00:17:13I have known you since we were seven.
00:17:15I know when you're lying.
00:17:16You don't know me.
00:17:18I want to be with a real star.
00:17:20That's Jonah.
00:17:21Jonah, you'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:17:28I can see that.
00:17:30You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:17:33I guess I had your back room.
00:17:36Wow.
00:17:38I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:17:42Nah.
00:17:43Where were we?
00:17:44Whoa.
00:17:46Whoa.
00:17:46What the fuck?
00:17:48Wait a minute.
00:17:50Are the rumors true?
00:17:51Are you actually pregnant?
00:17:54You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:17:57You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:18:00Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:18:06That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him, so he'd never
00:18:16come looking for me again.
00:18:18But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:18:48Carson, Carson.
00:18:50You led your team to their first NCAA championship in 50 years, and now every college in the nation wants
00:18:56you on their team.
00:18:57Where are you going?
00:18:59Georgia?
00:18:59Oregon?
00:19:00Boise?
00:19:01Texas?
00:19:02Ryan?
00:19:04Ryan, you need to come look at this.
00:19:06Please hold.
00:19:07Okay.
00:19:10Oh, you need a diaper.
00:19:20Hey, I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms, but isn't it good for Charlie to
00:19:24see your dad?
00:19:25For all?
00:19:26She'll know.
00:19:27I found her dad at a random sperm bank.
00:19:30Got it?
00:19:31Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
00:19:33You haven't slept in like four months.
00:19:35I can't give Charlie the life she deserves, working a minimum wage job.
00:19:39I need to get my pre-med degree.
00:19:41And you're not afraid of seeing you-know-who?
00:19:43Carson?
00:19:45No, no way.
00:19:47It's my guts.
00:19:48He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school for his senior season.
00:19:53There's no way that he'd come back to lame-ass middle of nowhere in North Cardiff.
00:19:58Actually, I'll be going back to my roots.
00:20:01I'll be spending my senior season at the University of North Cardiff.
00:20:11Hey, put that away.
00:20:12Your baby is fine.
00:20:14You won't be.
00:20:15You make me drink alone tonight.
00:20:17Shut up!
00:20:20You're going to be drinking alone regardless.
00:20:23Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
00:20:25Come on, you're still a milk.
00:20:26And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born, so you have to have fun with me.
00:20:30Where else?
00:20:31Okay, fine.
00:20:32I know, I don't want to say, you don't want to watch over your drunk ass.
00:20:37Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
00:20:42Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
00:20:45She might shed a few pounds.
00:20:47So you still don't have any hobbies, Lily?
00:20:49Oh, like you do?
00:20:51Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing.
00:20:53He dodged a bullet.
00:20:54You're really pudgy.
00:20:56You look like my mom before she started her diet.
00:20:59Leave her alone.
00:21:00You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today.
00:21:03I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year.
00:21:08In fact, I think he's here now.
00:21:12Hope you don't embarrass yourself, Mama.
00:21:16Who's here?
00:21:40What are you doing?
00:21:41Hey!
00:21:44Oh my god!
00:21:45Freddy Krueger!
00:21:46I was going to make fun of your saggy ass breasts, but this is so much grosser.
00:21:51Let go of my skirt!
00:21:53Or what?
00:21:54Hey everyone!
00:21:56Who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party time?
00:22:00Hmm?
00:22:02Who wants to see a human cow get milked?
00:22:12Oh my gosh, she's actually leaking milk!
00:22:16Gross!
00:22:17Who wants to see Ryan's nasty ass cow drink again?
00:22:21Milk bad cow!
00:22:23Milk bad cow!
00:22:24Milk bad cow!
00:22:26Milk bad cow!
00:22:35Oh my god!
00:22:37Carson?
00:22:37He can't find out I had his child like this!
00:22:41Collins?
00:22:50Is that what I think it is?
00:23:00Ryan, what the hell
00:23:02I thought you liked me
00:23:04But you wanted this
00:23:05You thought wrong
00:23:07I could never be with a loser like you
00:23:08That's bullshit
00:23:10I've known you since we were seven
00:23:12I know when you're lying
00:23:14You don't know me
00:23:15I want to be with a real star
00:23:18That's Jonah
00:23:20You'll never be half the man
00:23:21Or athlete that he is
00:23:26I can see that
00:23:28You know, I thought you cared about me
00:23:31I guess I had your back
00:23:33Wow
00:23:36I didn't think you had that kind of spice
00:23:38In your comments
00:23:40Now, where were we?
00:23:43Whoa, whoa, what the fuck
00:23:45Wait a minute
00:23:47Are the rumors true?
00:23:49Are you actually pregnant?
00:23:51Oh
00:23:52You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me
00:23:55You trashy, psycho bitch
00:23:58Carson's dodged a bomb
00:24:04That day
00:24:05My final act of love
00:24:07My final act of love for my best friend
00:24:09Was convincing him I hated him
00:24:12So he'd never come looking for me again
00:24:15But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be
00:24:33What the hell?
00:24:48What the hell?
00:24:49Put that away
00:24:49What the hell?
00:24:50I don't want to see my best friends
00:24:52I don't want to see my best friends
00:24:52You know what?
00:24:53Carson, baby, where are you?
00:24:57Golly horse, golly horse
00:24:58Okay, don't
00:25:00Okay, don't
00:25:04Why are you invoking
00:25:05The secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:25:09You know that's actually for like life or death situations
00:25:11Ex-girlfriend and this is serious
00:25:14We're going to strip your apartment and she freaking ambushed me
00:25:17You know how I get when we don't fuck
00:25:23Open this door now
00:25:25Do not keep your girlfriend waiting
00:25:33Are you harsh?
00:25:37You're grinding on me, it's the whole thing
00:25:40Grinding?
00:25:42Who's grinding?
00:25:47Yeah, let's go away, please
00:25:49Open the door now
00:25:51I swear to god
00:25:52I will wake everyone in this entire fucking house
00:25:55I'm building up
00:26:00Hi Lily
00:26:02My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll
00:26:06I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here
00:26:08He's oral over at his house
00:26:14Are you having a stroke?
00:26:16Why so nervous, Kongs?
00:26:18Could it be that you...
00:26:21I was talking to him on FaceTime
00:26:26And it was on speakerphone, that's probably why you heard him
00:26:30He was saying how he can't wait to have sex with you
00:26:39Glad you know your place, bitch
00:26:44I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you
00:26:51You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of going on
00:26:55Or under, I mean
00:26:57Get out! Get out! Get out!
00:27:05You know, I still don't know why you...
00:27:07Since when have I, your best friend of a million years, ever made you nervous?
00:27:11You barely made it through that
00:27:16Hey! That's my... I put my... I put my doll on that!
00:27:21I... I... I... put this on!
00:27:30Damn, I look on this
00:27:31Damn, he looks hot in those
00:27:36Well, it uh... it worked, didn't it?
00:27:39You're welcome
00:27:40Yes, you're amazing
00:27:42I'm Tom
00:27:50Oh God, I... I can't believe I just saw my first penis
00:27:55It was yours
00:27:59Thoughts?
00:28:00Because personally, I enjoyed what I saw down in your page
00:28:03Carson, did you... did you really just say that?
00:28:08Ryan...
00:28:08Come on, answer
00:28:11Or you can just tell me to leave, but you're not exactly doing that either
00:28:14It... it's...
00:28:17It's leave
00:28:18You need to nice
00:28:22It's nice, and you need to leave
00:28:24So you think it's nice?
00:28:27Ryan Collins, that is bold
00:28:30You just admitted that my penis is nice
00:28:32Shut up
00:28:35What's up?
00:28:36Just to be clear
00:28:37You want me to leave
00:28:39Even though you think that I have been very nice
00:28:44Shut up
00:28:45Oh God
00:29:03It's very early
00:29:04It's very easy
00:29:06I know
00:29:06It's very easy
00:29:06It's very easy
00:29:06It's, I know
00:29:06It's very easy
00:29:07It's very easy
00:29:08You think...
00:29:09It's very easy
00:29:09It's very easy
00:29:10It was really easy
00:29:11And really...
00:29:11Get out of here
00:29:15And really...
00:29:17Please.
00:29:20Of course it is. We...
00:29:22We can't.
00:29:23Why not?
00:29:24Because you're a little drunk and you're hiding
00:29:28from your evil
00:29:30psycho baby ex-girlfriend
00:29:31and you're a big football star
00:29:33and I'm just your dorky best friend and there's no way
00:29:35that you seriously want me.
00:29:37I like you.
00:29:40I'm very serious about
00:29:41how much I like you.
00:29:43I think you ever wondered
00:29:44what it would feel like if...
00:29:47there was something more.
00:29:50Only every day since I was seven
00:29:53I've even thought about
00:29:55him being my first.
00:29:56But I never thought it could actually
00:29:58happen. Maybe.
00:30:12Maybe.
00:30:15Oh, shit.
00:30:17I can't believe
00:30:18you've been hiding this from me.
00:30:32I've never done this before.
00:30:35I know.
00:30:37What?
00:30:38I promise I'll take care of you.
00:30:40I know.
00:30:46I know.
00:30:48I know.
00:30:59I know.
00:31:06I know.
00:31:07Did I really just lose my virginity to my
00:31:09best friend?
00:31:15How'd you run to practice?
00:31:17Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:31:25I've loved Carson as long as I can remember.
00:31:29Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:31:32After the semester he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:31:36If he wants something more,
00:31:38he's probably gonna ask now.
00:31:52So...
00:31:54About last night?
00:31:55Oh, God.
00:31:56Does he regret it?
00:31:58Uh...
00:31:58Yeah.
00:31:59About...
00:32:00Last night.
00:32:01Look, if...
00:32:02If you think it was a mistake...
00:32:04A mistake?
00:32:06Oh, so you can never be a mistake.
00:32:08Well, you were...
00:32:09You were really drunk,
00:32:10and it's probably obvious that I've...
00:32:12Liked you forever,
00:32:13and I just...
00:32:15I didn't know if you want to be more than...
00:32:20What didn't you just say?
00:32:22I said I want to be more than friends.
00:32:25I like you.
00:32:26Carlos.
00:32:27For real.
00:32:28I...
00:32:29I like you too, Carlos.
00:32:31I just...
00:32:32What if this changes things between us?
00:32:36I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:32:38Mom.
00:32:40Look, we've still got a few months since I leave.
00:32:43Okay?
00:32:44We can take a stalk.
00:32:50I don't know.
00:32:51We found him.
00:33:02I've wanted him since forever.
00:33:04And now he's finally mine.
00:33:08So what, your period three weeks late
00:33:11when you've been throwing up every day?
00:33:13That doesn't mean jack squat.
00:33:19Positive.
00:33:23How am I supposed to tell my best friend
00:33:26that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:33:29I don't know.
00:33:30But you have to, right?
00:33:31He's leaving soon.
00:33:46Dude.
00:33:47It's so obvious that you're whipped for Ryan.
00:33:50Since the moment that we were kids on a playground, man.
00:33:53You know, I guess I just never really thought that she'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:33:59Fuck yeah.
00:34:02I know I have to leave sooner than I thought, but am I going away party? I'm gonna finally ask
00:34:06her.
00:34:07She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:34:09She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:34:18She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:34:32Oh my god. Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:34:38Oh, but who's gonna guard the bridge?
00:34:40Pregnant? Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:34:43Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:34:47Give that back.
00:34:49I will.
00:34:49When you tell me who your baby daddy is.
00:34:52I can't tell her the baby's Carson's.
00:34:54Her ex?
00:34:56She would kill me.
00:35:00Oh my god.
00:35:01You don't even remember?
00:35:03You're such a slut.
00:35:04Ew.
00:35:05I'm gonna call you Ghana Ryan.
00:35:09Maybe you should get tested for STDs, Trish.
00:35:13That's one test you'll actually pass.
00:35:17For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch, but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:35:23You've got some nerve.
00:35:24Expose her, Lily.
00:35:25Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:35:35Not much.
00:35:36Oh, but don't worry.
00:35:38Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:35:41Ew.
00:35:42So trashy.
00:35:44Aw, are you crying?
00:35:46Is it because your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:35:49Well, newsflash.
00:35:51He's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:35:54What the?
00:35:55No.
00:35:56He's staying right here in North Cardiff.
00:35:59You don't know.
00:36:01He's training with the NFL champions.
00:36:02He's gonna be gone the whole fall semester and the whole summer.
00:36:07I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:36:10She just sucks up all the air.
00:36:11Daddy.
00:36:12The whole summer?
00:36:14Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat, teen moms driving them down.
00:36:19Not like he'd even stand a chance.
00:36:21Yeah.
00:36:21Have you seen NFL wags?
00:36:23Perfect tits, perfect tents.
00:36:25You're already bloating.
00:36:27Oh my god, imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:36:32Just drop out, Brian.
00:36:36That was so close.
00:36:38Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players and here I am.
00:36:49Love is right.
00:36:50If I distract Carson with this baby, I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:36:56I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:37:03Your father can never find out about you.
00:37:08He needs to leave and never come back.
00:37:12Woo!
00:37:13Come on!
00:37:14Let's go!
00:37:17To Carson!
00:37:21The youngest player in history to travel an NFL team.
00:37:25Yeah.
00:37:27Your career is like set, man.
00:37:29How does it feel?
00:37:30Speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed.
00:37:33Alright!
00:37:34Woo!
00:37:36Worse, I wouldn't be here without my team.
00:37:39Woo!
00:37:40Whoo!
00:37:41But I also owe this win to my best friend, Brian Collins.
00:37:47Who stood by my sides to our teens, for every win, for every loss, every stupid dream I've ever had.
00:38:01Carson, Carson, what happens, talk to me, it's me, I freaking have one shot, to throw
00:38:13the ball, and I blew it, everybody's counting on me and I blew it, I blew it because I'm
00:38:21an idiot, no, hey, breathe, Carson, breathe, okay?
00:38:27You're the youngest captain in our school's history, you are perfect, 99% of the time, on
00:38:37and off the field.
00:38:44You're not embarrassed, everybody's gonna ignore me, I blew the homecoming game.
00:38:49You're my best friend, stupid, I mean, yeah, sure, you're gonna make it to the NFL one day,
00:38:55but I'd still be best friends with you, even if you were the water boy.
00:39:08That night, you said we were best friends, but Ryan, I want to be so much more than that.
00:39:16There's no doubt, no question in my mind, well, except for one, I'm calling you.
00:39:29Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
00:39:35Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat, team moms, strutting them down.
00:39:40I'm so sorry, Carson, you're my best friend, that's why I'm doing this.
00:39:56Ryan, what the hell?
00:39:59I thought you liked me, but you wanted this.
00:40:02You thought wrong.
00:40:03I could never be with a loser like you.
00:40:05That's bullshit.
00:40:07I've known you since we were seven.
00:40:09I know when you're lying.
00:40:11You don't know me.
00:40:12I want to be with a real star.
00:40:15That's, that's Jonah.
00:40:17You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:40:23I can see that.
00:40:24You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:40:27I guess I had your background.
00:40:30Wow.
00:40:33I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:40:36Nah.
00:40:37Where were we?
00:40:38Whoa, whoa, what the fuck?
00:40:43Wait a minute.
00:40:44Are the rumors true?
00:40:45Are you actually pregnant?
00:40:49You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:40:52You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:40:55Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:41:01That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him.
00:41:09So he'd never come looking for me again.
00:41:12But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:41:42Carson, Carson.
00:41:45Carson.
00:41:45Carson!
00:41:45You led your team to their first NCAA championship in 50 years, and now every college in the
00:41:50nation wants you on their team.
00:41:52Where are you going?
00:41:53Georgia?
00:41:54Oregon?
00:41:55Boise?
00:41:55Texas?
00:41:57Ryan?
00:41:59Ryan, you need to come look at this!
00:42:00Please hold.
00:42:02Okay.
00:42:04Ugh, you need a diaper.
00:42:15Hey, I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms, but isn't it good for
00:42:19Charlie to see your dad?
00:42:20For all?
00:42:21She'll know.
00:42:22I found her dad at a random sperm bank.
00:42:25Got it?
00:42:25Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
00:42:28You haven't slept in like four months.
00:42:29I can't give Charlie the life she deserves, working a minimum wage job.
00:42:33I need to get my pre-med degree.
00:42:35And you're not afraid of seeing you-know-who?
00:42:37Carson?
00:42:40No.
00:42:40No way.
00:42:41It's my guts.
00:42:43He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school for his senior season.
00:42:47There's no way that he'd come back to lame-ass middle of nowhere in North Cardiff.
00:42:53Actually, I'll be going back to my roots.
00:42:56I'll be spending my senior season at the University of North Cardiff.
00:43:06I need to put that away.
00:43:07Your baby is fine.
00:43:08You won't be if you make me drink alone tonight.
00:43:11Oh, shut up!
00:43:14You're going to be drinking alone regardless.
00:43:17Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
00:43:20Come on, you're still a milk.
00:43:21And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born, so you have to have fun with me.
00:43:24Where else?
00:43:26Okay, fine.
00:43:27I'll stay.
00:43:28You only need to watch over your drunk ass.
00:43:31Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
00:43:36Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
00:43:40She might shed a few pounds.
00:43:41I see you still don't have any hobbies, Lily.
00:43:43Oh, like you do?
00:43:45Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing.
00:43:47He dodged a bullet.
00:43:49You're really pudgy.
00:43:50You looked like my mom before she started her diet.
00:43:53Leave her alone.
00:43:55You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today.
00:43:58I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year.
00:44:02In fact, I think he's here now.
00:44:06Hope you don't embarrass yourself, you mama.
00:44:10Who?
00:44:10Who's here?
00:44:11Who's R
00:44:13Who?
00:44:35What are you doing?
00:44:36Hey!
00:44:38Oh, my God.
00:44:39Freddy Krueger, I was going to make fun of your saggy-ass breasts, but this is so much grosser
00:44:46Let go of my skirt!
00:44:47Or what?
00:44:49Hey everyone, who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party trip?
00:44:57Who wants to see a human cow get milked?
00:45:06Oh my gosh, she's actually leaking milk!
00:45:11Gross! Who wants to see Ryan's nasty-ass cow drink again?
00:45:16Milk-back cow! Milk-back cow! Milk-back cow! Milk-back cow!
00:45:22Milk-back cow!
00:45:30Oh my god!
00:45:31Carson?
00:45:32He can't find out I had his child like this!
00:45:35Collins?
00:45:44Is that what I think it is?
00:45:54Ryan, what the hell?
00:45:56I thought you liked me!
00:45:58But you wanted this!
00:46:00You thought wrong!
00:46:01I could never be with a loser like you!
00:46:03That's bullshit!
00:46:05I've known you since we were seven!
00:46:07I know when you're lying!
00:46:08You don't know me!
00:46:10I-I want to be with a real star!
00:46:12That's-that's Jonah!
00:46:14You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is!
00:46:20I can see that!
00:46:22You know, I thought you cared about me!
00:46:25I guess I had your back room!
00:46:28Wow!
00:46:31I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins!
00:46:34Nah!
00:46:35Where were we?
00:46:37Whoa!
00:46:38Whoa! What the fuck!
00:46:40Wait a minute!
00:46:42Are the rumors true?
00:46:43Are you actually pregnant?
00:46:45Ugh!
00:46:47You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me!
00:46:49You trashy, psycho bitch!
00:46:52Carson's dodged a bomb!
00:46:58That day, my final act of love for my best friend
00:47:03was convincing him I hated him
00:47:06so he'd never come looking for me again.
00:47:10But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:47:20Oh listen!
00:47:20Mullins let me in, please!
00:47:22Carson?
00:47:23Drunk on a Monday night?
00:47:25Oh god!
00:47:27Seriously?
00:47:28What do you want?
00:47:41What the hell?! Put that away! I don't want to see my best friends, you know. What?
00:47:48Carson, baby, where are you?
00:47:51Call me horse, call me horse.
00:47:53Don't, okay, don't!
00:47:55Don't!
00:47:59Why are you invoking the secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:48:03You know, that's actually for, like, life or death situations.
00:48:06Ex-girlfriend is serious. We're going to strip your opponent and she freaking ambushed me.
00:48:11You know how I get when we don't fuck!
00:48:18Open this door now! Do not keep your girlfriend waiting!
00:48:22Oh!
00:48:28Are you... harsh?
00:48:32You grinding on me is nothing.
00:48:35Grinding?!
00:48:36Who's grinding?!
00:48:41Can you get us? Go away, please!
00:48:43Open the door now!
00:48:45I swear to God I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up!
00:48:54I swear to God!
00:48:55Hi Lily!
00:48:56My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll!
00:49:00I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here!
00:49:03Uh, he's... he's oral over at his house!
00:49:09Are you having a stroke?
00:49:10Why so nervous, Kongs?
00:49:13Could it be that you...
00:49:16Um, uh...
00:49:18I was talking to him on FaceTime!
00:49:20And it was on speakerphone that's probably why you... you heard him.
00:49:24Uh, he...
00:49:25And was saying how he can't...
00:49:28He can't wait to have...
00:49:29Have the se...
00:49:30Have sex...
00:49:30Have...
00:49:31Have sex with you!
00:49:33Glad you know your place, bitch!
00:49:37Hm.
00:49:38I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you.
00:49:45You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of relying on.
00:49:50Or under, I mean.
00:49:52Get out! Get out! Get out!
00:49:54Get out!
00:49:59You know, I still don't know why you...
00:50:01Since when have I, your best friend of a million years, ever made you nervous?
00:50:06You barely made it through that.
00:50:11Hey!
00:50:12That's my...
00:50:12I put my...
00:50:13I put my doll on that!
00:50:15I...
00:50:16I...
00:50:16I...
00:50:17Put this on!
00:50:24I'm gonna look on this.
00:50:26Tim, he looks hot in those.
00:50:30Well, uh...
00:50:31It worked!
00:50:32Didn't it?
00:50:33You're welcome.
00:50:34I'm...
00:50:34Yes, you're amazing.
00:50:36I'm Tom.
00:50:44Oh, God, I...
00:50:46I can't believe I just saw my first penis.
00:50:50It was yours.
00:50:52Your thoughts?
00:50:55Because personally, I enjoy what I saw down on your penis.
00:50:57Carson, did you...
00:50:59Did you really just say that?
00:51:02Ryan...
00:51:03Come on, answer.
00:51:06Or you can just tell me to leave, but you're not exactly doing that either.
00:51:09It...
00:51:10It's...
00:51:12It's...
00:51:12Leave.
00:51:13You need to nice.
00:51:16It's nice, and you need to leave.
00:51:19So you think it's nice.
00:51:22Ryan Collins, that is bold.
00:51:25You just admitted that my penis is nice.
00:51:27Shut up.
00:51:28Take me.
00:51:30Stop.
00:51:30Just to be clear.
00:51:32You want me to leave, even though you think that I had a very nice...
00:51:39Shut up.
00:51:40Shut up.
00:51:40Oh, my God.
00:51:45Oh, my God.
00:51:54Yeah.
00:51:55I know I have a lot of money.
00:52:11I don't know.
00:52:14I don't know.
00:52:15I don't know.
00:52:15Martham, we can't.
00:52:18Why not?
00:52:19Because you're a little drunk
00:52:21and you're hiding
00:52:23from your evil, psycho
00:52:25baby ex-girlfriend
00:52:26and you're a big football star and I'm just your
00:52:28dorky best friend and there's no way that you seriously
00:52:31want me. I like you.
00:52:33Collins.
00:52:34I'm very serious about how much I like you.
00:52:38Have you ever wondered
00:52:39what you'd feel like?
00:52:42Or something more?
00:52:45Only every day since I was
00:52:47seven, I've even thought
00:52:49about him being my first.
00:52:51but I never thought it could actually
00:52:53happen, baby.
00:53:09Holy shit.
00:53:11Collins.
00:53:12I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:53:27I've never done this before.
00:53:29I know.
00:53:33I promise I'll take care of you.
00:53:34I'll take care of you.
00:53:39I'll take care of you.
00:53:44I'll take care of you.
00:53:53I'll take care of you.
00:54:00Did I really just lose my virginity
00:54:03to my best friend?
00:54:10How'd you run to practice?
00:54:12Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:54:19I've loved Carson as long as I can remember.
00:54:24Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:54:27After the semester he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:54:31If you want something more,
00:54:33he's probably gonna ask now.
00:54:35No.
00:54:46So...
00:54:48About last night?
00:54:49Oh God.
00:54:51Does he regret it?
00:54:53Uh...
00:54:53Yeah.
00:54:54About...
00:54:54Last night.
00:54:55Look, if...
00:54:57If you think it was a mistake...
00:54:58A mistake?
00:55:00Oh, so you can never be in my sleep.
00:55:02Well, you were...
00:55:04You were really drunk,
00:55:04and it's probably obvious that I've...
00:55:07Liked you forever,
00:55:08and I just...
00:55:09I didn't know if you want to be more than...
00:55:11I want to be more than...
00:55:14What didn't you just say?
00:55:16I said I want to be more than friends.
00:55:19Like you.
00:55:21Carlos.
00:55:22For real.
00:55:23I like you too, Carlos.
00:55:26I just...
00:55:27What if this changes things between us?
00:55:30I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:55:34Mom...
00:55:34Look, we've still got a few months since I leave.
00:55:37Okay?
00:55:39We can take a stop.
00:55:45We can take a stop.
00:55:56I've wanted him since forever.
00:55:58And now he's finally mine.
00:56:03So what? Your period three weeks late,
00:56:05and you've been throwing up every day.
00:56:07That doesn't mean jack squat.
00:56:13Positive.
00:56:18How am I supposed to tell my best friend
00:56:20that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:56:23I don't know.
00:56:24But you have to, right?
00:56:26He's leaving soon.
00:56:40Dude.
00:56:42It's so obvious that you went for Ryan.
00:56:44Since the moment we were kids on a playground, man.
00:56:48You know, I guess I just never really thought
00:56:50that she'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:56:53Fuck yeah.
00:56:56I know I have to leave sooner than I thought,
00:56:58but at my going away party, I'm going to finally ask her.
00:57:02She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:57:10She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:57:13Watch it, Aggo.
00:57:14Ugh, you can't even walk straight.
00:57:20No.
00:57:22Ow.
00:57:23Ow.
00:57:24Ow.
00:57:25Ow.
00:57:27Oh my god.
00:57:29Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:57:32Aw, but who's going to guard the bridge?
00:57:35Pregnant?
00:57:36Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:57:38Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:57:42Give that back.
00:57:43Give that back.
00:57:43I will.
00:57:44When you tell me who your baby daddy is.
00:57:46I can't tell her the baby's Carson's.
00:57:49Her ex?
00:57:50She would kill me.
00:57:54Oh my god.
00:57:56You don't even remember?
00:57:57You're such a slut.
00:57:59Ew.
00:58:00I'm going to call you,
00:58:01Ghana Ryan.
00:58:04You should get tested for STDs, Trish.
00:58:07That's one test you'll actually pass.
00:58:12For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch,
00:58:15but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:58:17You've got some nerve.
00:58:19Expose her, Lily.
00:58:20Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:58:29Not much.
00:58:31Oh, but don't worry.
00:58:32Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:58:36Ew.
00:58:36So trashy.
00:58:39Aw, are you crying?
00:58:41Is it because your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:58:44Well, newsflash, he's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:58:48What?
00:58:49No.
00:58:50No, he's staying right here in North Cardiff.
00:58:53Oh.
00:58:54You don't know.
00:58:55He's training with the NFL champions.
00:58:57He's going to be gone the whole fall semester,
00:59:00and the whole summer.
00:59:01I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:59:04She just sucks up all the air.
00:59:06Daddy.
00:59:07The whole summer?
00:59:09Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
00:59:13Not like you'd even stand a chance.
00:59:15Yeah.
00:59:16Have you seen NFL wags?
00:59:17Perfect tits, perfect tens.
00:59:20You're already bloating.
00:59:21Oh my god, imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:59:26Just drop out, Ryan.
00:59:30That was so close.
00:59:32Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players, and here I am.
00:59:38Go on!
00:59:41Go on!
00:59:43Go on!
00:59:43Go on!
00:59:44Lily's right.
00:59:44If I distract Carson with this baby, I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:59:51I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:59:57Your father can never find out about you.
01:00:02He needs to leave and never come back.
01:00:06Woo!
01:00:07Come on!
01:00:09Go!
01:00:11To Carson!
01:00:16The youngest player in history to train with NFL team.
01:00:19Yeah.
01:00:20Yeah.
01:00:21Your career is like set, man.
01:00:23How does it feel?
01:00:25Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed! Speed!
01:00:28Oh, no!
01:00:30Of course, I wouldn't be here without my team.
01:00:35But I also owe this win to my best friend, Ryan Collins, who stayed by my sides and turned kids.
01:00:45For every win, every loss, every stupid dream I've ever had.
01:00:54Carson.
01:00:56Carson
01:00:58What happened?
01:01:00Talk to me
01:01:01I freaking had one job
01:01:06To throw the ball
01:01:11Everybody's counting on me and I blew it
01:01:13I blew it because I'm an idiot
01:01:17Hey, breathe, Carson
01:01:19Breathe, okay?
01:01:21You're the youngest captain in our school's history
01:01:25You are perfect
01:01:2799% of the time
01:01:31On and off the field
01:01:38You're not embarrassed
01:01:41Everybody's gonna ignore me
01:01:42I blew the homecoming game
01:01:43You're my best friend, stupid
01:01:46I mean, yeah, sure, you're gonna make it to the NFL one day
01:01:49But I'd still be best friends with you
01:01:53Even if you were the water boy
01:02:03That night
01:02:05You said we were best friends
01:02:08Ryan, I want to be so much better than that
01:02:11There's no doubt
01:02:13No question in my mind
01:02:17Except for one
01:02:23Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
01:02:29Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down
01:02:34I'm so sorry, Carson
01:02:36You're my best friend
01:02:39That's why I'm doing this
01:02:51Ryan, what the hell?
01:02:53I thought you liked me
01:02:55I thought you wanted this
01:02:56You thought wrong
01:02:58I can never be with a loser like you
01:03:00That's bullshit
01:03:02I've known you since we were seven
01:03:04I know when you're lying
01:03:05You don't know me
01:03:06I want to be with a real star
01:03:09That's Jonah
01:03:11You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is
01:03:17I can see that
01:03:19You know, I thought you cared about me
01:03:22I guess I had your back room
01:03:25Wow
01:03:27I didn't think you had that kind of spice in your comments
01:03:31Nah
01:03:32Where were we?
01:03:34Whoa!
01:03:35Whoa, what the fuck?
01:03:37Wait a minute
01:03:38Are the rumors true?
01:03:40Are you actually pregnant?
01:03:43You're trying to fuck me if baby trap me
01:03:46You trashy, psycho bitch
01:03:48Carson's dodged a bomb
01:03:55That day, my final act of love for my best friend
01:04:00Was convincing him I hated him
01:04:03So he'd never come looking for me again
01:04:06But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be
01:04:38Carson, Carson
01:04:39Carson, Carson
01:04:40You led your team to their first team
01:04:41First NCAA championship in 50 years
01:04:43And now every college in the nation wants you on their team
01:04:46Where are you going?
01:04:47Where are you going?
01:04:48Oregon?
01:04:49Boise?
01:04:50Texas?
01:04:51Ryan?
01:04:53Ryan, you need to come look at this
01:04:55Please hold
01:04:56Okay
01:04:58Oh, you need a diaper
01:05:08Hey
01:05:10I know you and Carson
01:05:11I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms
01:05:12But isn't it good for Charlie to see your dad?
01:05:14For all?
01:05:15She'll know
01:05:16I found her dad at a random sperm bank
01:05:19Got it?
01:05:20Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
01:05:22You haven't slept in like four months
01:05:23I can't give Charlie the life she deserves
01:05:26Working a minimum wage job
01:05:27I need to get my pre-med degree
01:05:29And you're not afraid of seeing you know who?
01:05:32Carson?
01:05:34No, no way
01:05:36It's my guts
01:05:37He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school for his senior season
01:05:41There's no way that he'd come back to lame ass middle of nowhere North Cardiff
01:05:48Actually, I'll be going back to my roots
01:05:50I'll be spending my senior season at the University of North Cardiff
01:06:00Put that away, your baby is fine
01:06:03You won't be if you make me drink alone tonight
01:06:05Oh, shut up!
01:06:09You're gonna be drinking alone regardless
01:06:12Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
01:06:14Come on, you're still a milk
01:06:15And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born
01:06:18So you have to have fun with me
01:06:19Where else?
01:06:20Okay, fine
01:06:21I'll stay
01:06:22You only need to watch over your drunk ass
01:06:26Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
01:06:31Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
01:06:34She might shed a few pounds
01:06:36So you still don't have any hobbies, Lily?
01:06:38Oh, like you do?
01:06:39Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing
01:06:41He dodged a bullet
01:06:43You're really pudgy
01:06:44You look like my mom before she started her diet
01:06:47Leave her alone
01:06:48You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today
01:06:52I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year
01:06:56In fact
01:06:59I think he's here now
01:07:01Hope you don't embarrass yourself, Mama
01:07:05Who's here?
01:07:29Hey!
01:07:32Oh my god, Freddy Krueger
01:07:35I was going to make fun of your saggy-ass breasts
01:07:38But this is so much grosser
01:07:40Let go of my skirt
01:07:42Or what?
01:07:43Hey, everyone
01:07:44Who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party tree?
01:07:48Hmm?
01:07:51Who wants to see a human cow get milk?
01:08:00Oh my god, she's actually leaking milk!
01:08:05Gross!
01:08:06Who wants to see Ryan's nasty-ass cow trick again?
01:08:10Milk-bad cow!
01:08:12Milk-bad cow!
01:08:13Milk-bad cow!
01:08:15Milk-bad cow!
01:08:24Oh my god, Carson
01:08:26He can't find out I had his child like this
01:08:30Columns?
01:08:38Is that what I think it is?
01:08:43Oh my god, I've been drinking milk
01:08:44Oh processing
01:08:46don't know if
01:08:46is this a weird way to
01:08:46a second燈
01:08:46It's
01:08:46a weird way You It's
01:08:47You
01:08:48You