00:00I was doing things that uplift me, because I had no more health to spare to do things that don't.
00:06That is a title on itself. I didn't plan it as one. I just said it plain,
00:10the way true things come out when you're too tired to dress them up.
00:14It wasn't about luxury. It wasn't, life should always be fun. It was arithmetic.
00:20My health is not unlimited. Everything I do costs some of it. Some things give something back.
00:27Some things only take. And I reached the point where I could not afford the ones that only take.
00:33What gives back? The writing gives back? The music gives back? The drawings, the characters,
00:39the songs I made in fruity loops, the dancing I once did? They gave back. Now there are new doors
00:47into that same world I have been building for years. I can discover a scene and feel it land.
00:52I can spend time with characters who feel understood. And for a little while, I feel
00:58understood too. That joy was already mine before anything sold, before anything reached anyone
01:05big. I didn't have to wait for a book to make millions or a story to reach Netflix for the
01:10creating itself to matter. The moment of discovering it mattered. What only takes. People are very free
01:19with telling you what you should do. They rarely count what their demands cost you. Not every
01:24obligation deserves unlimited access to me. Not every activity has to prove itself with productivity
01:31or money to be worthwhile. And the opposite is also true. Something does not deserve my last health
01:38just because somebody else decided it is important. I started listening to what happened to me
01:43after I spent my energy. That listening changed things, slowly. It is connected to learning to
01:50love myself. Not in a slogan way. In a practical way. I began allowing myself to move toward what
01:58helped. Instead of automatically dismissing it, I still deserve help with the hard parts.
02:04This is not me saying I should just avoid everything draining forever and handle life alone.
02:10I deserve support with the things that drain me. I shouldn't have to spend every bit of remaining
02:16energy managing situations that could be made more peaceful by people actually helping.
02:22Choosing what uplifts me is how I protect what is left. Getting real support is how I shouldn't
02:28have to protect it all by myself. Both things are true. Spending it on being alive. I had no more
02:36health to spare. That is the cost, said honestly. This didn't come from a book. It came from living
02:43almost four decades in a body and mind that have been through a lot and learning the hard way that
02:50my energy is not an endless resource to be sacrificed without question. So I spent some of it on being
02:57alive in ways that feel good. On things that uplift me. Because I had no more health to spare for
03:03things
03:04that didn't.
